There are some things that are just
T I M E L E S S
. . .so this song by Amy Grant may be some 15 years old but every year around this time we could all use the beauty and the true sacredness of
S I L E N C E
even if it’s just a little over some three minutes
GO AHEAD
play it again
take another 3 minutes and 59 seconds
because it’s very likely
no one will give it to you. . .
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,
we need a Silent night or at least a few
SILENT MOMENTS
CONNECTIONS
Ever feel utterly DISCONNECTED. . . ?
This time of the year will do that to you
WILL
give you the opposite of that
GINGERBREAD FEELING. . .
Because not all the lights on the tree
are lit
or worse. . .NOT SEEN. . .
D I S C O N N E C T E D
Ernest Hemingway once said: In our darkest moments, we don’t need solutions or advice. What we yearn for is simply human connection—a quiet presence, a gentle touch. These small gestures are the anchors that hold us steady when life feels like too much.
So over these next few weeks and into the new year, please don’t try to fix Someone, no matter how good it will make you feel (AND IT WILL). Don’t take on Someone’s pain or push away their shadows, even if it feels so obviously easy for you to do. Just sit beside Someone as they work through their own inner storms. Be the steady hand they can reach for as I find their seemingly impossible way.
Their pain is their’s to carry, Their battles, Their’s to face. But your presence reminds Their Their-est Them’s, They are not alone in this vast, sometimes frightening world. It’s a quiet reminder that They are worthy of love, even when They feel broken and the unworthiest of unworthy. . .
So, in those dark hours when A Way seems lost or not an impossible dream, just be there? Not as a rescuer, but as a companion. Hold a hand until the dawn arrives, helping Them remember Their strength as seemingly as powerless and weak as it may feel. . .
Your silent support is the most precious gift you can give. It’s a love that helps Someone remember who They are, even when, especially when They have forgotten. . .
BE THE CONNECTION
that eliminates
D I S C O N N E C T I O N
And remember. . .
The very definition of RELATIONSHIP may just be
BEING FOR ANOTHER WHAT THEY COULD NEVER BE FOR THEMSELVES. . .
JUST A MOMENT: YOUR VILLAGE
Honestly, our Village probably isn’t as perfect as we want it to be, not even when we are the creators of it all. It may look nice from the outside. It may even run what seems to be very efficiently, but you see, the thing that makes our village, OUR VILLAGE, is that it’s not always quite the way we really want it to be. . .Even with the best of our imaginations.
But there is a good part: We are creators and an even better part: When we invite others in our village they are creators as well; Creators of not just what could be or what should be or what we hope or imagine, but what actually is and even when things don’t seem to run OK or alright, and literally, it seems like things have come off the tracks. And yet, even then, there’s always still something that is bright and shiny and going on.
I have a question: Just what kind of village have you created and who have you invited inside to be co-creator with you?
The answer may well be the difference of
KEEPING YOU ON THE TRACKS
OR. . .
ALL MY LOVE
WAIT. WHAT. . .
THIS ISN’T A CHRISTMAS VIDEO FOR A SEASONAL MONDAY MORNING BLOG
OR. . .IS IT. . .
THERE ARE SOME VIDEOS THAT ARE BEYOND SEASONAL AND THAT ARE SO EVERYDAY NEEDED THEY MAKE THE SEASON OF CHRISTMAS FEEL LIKE A MUST NEED EVERY DAY EXPERIENCE. WHAT A GREAT JOB THAT CHRIS MARTIN OF COLDPLAY DID WITH DICK VAN DYKE WHO WILL BE 99 THIS WEDNESDAY, PROVING AGAIN, THAT SOME THINGS ARE, WELL. . .AGELESS
AND THEN, IT IS WINTER
Time moves swiftly, often catching us unaware of how quickly the years pass.
It feels like just yesterday I was young—just married, stepping into life with endless dreams. But now, I find myself in the winter of my life, wondering how it all happened so fast. Where did the years go? Where did my youth go?
I remember watching older people, thinking they were so far ahead of me, their “winter” a distant concept I couldn’t truly grasp. Yet here I am. My friends are retired, their hair greying, their steps slower. I see those changes in myself too. We’ve become the “older folks” we once looked at with youthful eyes, never imagining we’d be here so soon.
These days, small tasks like taking a shower feel like major accomplishments. Naps are no longer indulgences—they’re necessities. If I skip them, sleep finds me anyway, wherever I happen to be.
This season of life brings its own challenges: the aches, the loss of strength, and the realization of dreams left undone. Yet, I know this isn’t the end. When winter here is over, another adventure awaits beyond this life.
Yes, there are regrets—things I wish I’d done differently—but there’s also joy in the memories of the life I’ve lived. It’s all part of the journey.
If you haven’t reached your winter yet, let me offer this advice: It arrives faster than you think. Don’t wait too long to do the things you dream of. Life passes quickly. Say what you want to say, do what you want to do, and let the people you love know how much they mean to you.
“Life” is a gift, and the way you live it becomes your gift to those who come after you. Make it a beautiful one.
LIVE WELL. LOVE MUCH. LAUGH OFTEN.
Enjoy each day to its fullest, because today is the oldest you’ve ever been, yet the youngest you’ll ever be.
Some reflections on this stage of life:
Your kids are becoming you.
Going out is fun, but coming home is even better.
You forget names—but it’s fine, because others forget they ever knew you!
The things you once cared about no longer matter, and you care more about not caring.
You sleep better in a chair with the TV blaring than in bed.
You miss the simplicity of an “ON” and “OFF” switch.
Everything in stores seems to be sleeveless now.
Freckles have turned into liver spots.
Everyone whispers.
Your closet holds three sizes of clothes—two of which you’ll never wear again.
But aging has its blessings: old songs, old movies, and most importantly, old friends.
Stay well, my old friend. Life isn’t about what you gather, but what you scatter. It’s about the love, kindness, and laughter you share.
Live happy. Scatter joy. Embrace today. Give ALL of you Love
IN JUST A MOMENT: LET GRIEF BLINK
It wasn’t in the Christmas Carol when Dickens wrote, “It was the best of times and it was the worst at times,” but maybe it really should’ve been. . . I mean, isn’t that really what the holidays bring us? Our lights don’t always twinkle and certainly our tinsel doesn’t always sparkle, and yet, this season isn’t what we usually find but what finds us, ready or not. Most often when we grieve, it’s not with all the capital letters it deeply feels like.
So what are we to do this season or any Season and all of the little SEASONS in-because? Grief is always in the season; it’s not a date on the calendar or a particular time of the year. It’s not something that we attend or attend to so much as what it does to us and it’s not always a person that we grieve. . . Sometimes it’s what we don’t have or what we could’ve had or what we will seemingly never have. . .
I don’t know if your lights are twinkling like they always have in the past, but if they aren’t, please be kind with yourself and embrace it; let others put their arms around that which hurts most in you. . .
And please don’t be afraid to embrace the Hurt in Another. . .
That’s not just surviving a season. It’s thriving in it
B L i n K i N g
lights or not.
THE SANCTUARY
This holiday season, remember none of us can get where we want to go without the support of another. Especially from those we cherished most. Watch as a father and son come together on the bench of their family’s 1978 Chevy Silverado C10 to look back on their shared past and how it continues to drive them forward. . .
I know, I know, Halloween has passed us and now Thanksgiving has already been a few blinks away from us as well, so we’re full throttle into Christmas and everything that it promises and brings. . .but we’re even more full throttle into who it is and what it is that Christmas brings out in us.
I mean, the very YOU-EST of YOU is never to be ignored or have people talk you out of who it is you really are. . .
Well, we know that’s the opposite of the gift of who you are and always ever becoming. . .BE that kind of Christmas and Christmas truly will last all year long and not just a few days after Thanksgiving, and even less a few days before New Year’s and all the days after. . .
JUST A MOMENT: A REASON, NOT AN EXCUSE
I know, I know, there’s all kinds of explanations to be thankful on Thanksgiving and really, every day. We should be keeping a GRATITUDE JOURNAL and even if we don’t blog or social media it out, flip back and refer to it, OFTEN; but sometimes it’s just not there and we’re just not feeling it (which is a perfect time to flip back through our gratitudes) and whenever we’re in the “I’m not feeling” phase, we come up with an excuse to be grateful. . .
Maybe in just a moment. . . we find, instead of a excuse to be grateful, we really uncover a reason, and sometimes, as we well know, a reason comes disguised as a hardship: Why would we be grateful for an illness or for a death, or something really bad that happens to us, or an unanswered prayer and unmet expectation. Why?
Because sometimes we are most grateful for not what we receive, but what we are enabled and encouraged and championed to be for Another person. So maybe the best thing that we could celebrate about Thanksgiving or any day is to be the reason Somebody else is grateful and truly thankful. . .
NO REGRET LIVING=NO REGRET GRATITUDE
I have been a big fan of Brené Brown for many years now. If I’ve read this post of her before, I certainly have forgotten it, but I’m so glad it’s found me again now so I can not only be reminded but also remind you of what gratitude, what Thanksgiving is all about: EMBRACING fully not the shoulds/woulds/coulds of our lives, but the actual good, kind, compassionate things we have actually done for another. ENJOY her post of November 1 as she passed on some gold nuggets from Daniel Pink; Psssssssssssssssst: YOU WON’T REGRET IT
My research and my life have taught me that regret is one of our most powerful emotional reminders that reflection, change, and growth are necessary. In our research, regret emerged as a function of empathy. And, when used constructively, it’s a call to courage and a path toward wisdom.
One of the most powerful lines about regret comes from George Saunders’s 2013 commencement address at Syracuse University.
Saunders talked about how when he was a child, a young girl was teased at his school and, although he didn’t tease her and even defended her a little, he still thought about it. He said:
“So here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it: What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness. Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded . . . sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.”
The idea that regret is a fair but tough teacher can really piss people off. “No regrets” has become synonymous with daring and adventure, but I disagree. The idea of “no regrets” doesn’t mean living with courage, it means living without reflection. To live without regret is to believe we have nothing to learn, no amends to make, and no opportunity to be braver with our lives.
In our work, we find that what we regret most are our failures of courage, whether it’s the courage to be kinder, to show up, to say how we feel, to set boundaries, to be good to ourselves, to say yes to something scary. Regret has taught me that living outside my values is not tenable for me.
Regrets about not taking chances have made me braver. Regrets about shaming or blaming people I care about have made me more thoughtful.
Sometimes the most uncomfortable learning is the most powerful.
Daniel Pink
It feels like we spend so much effort on the things that are mostly EFFORTLESS is we allow them, if we allow ourselves to be ourselves with others. . .
and not a single REGRET was in sight. . .
JUST A MOMENT: LOOKING AT WHAT YOU ARE SEEING
At first glance, it would seem that I’m a 69-year-old Swifty because of all the bracelets that I wear but in just a moment you see that’s the problem with the first glance, because what we look at isn’t always what we see until we hear the rest of the story and most of that story can be told in just a moment and it needs not just to be told but actually heard.
Maybe what needs to be heard the most is we are all unfinished stories waiting for just the next person, the next situation, the next moment to come and add onto us, to complete us a little bit more than what we were before just the moment before THE MOMENT; so take a look. What are you actually seeing; what you’re looking at or do you need to know the story behind what you are looking at; what you are seeing. . . ?
So hum along as your story continues to be written, read aloud and heard. . .
A DIFFERENT THANKSGIVING
GO AHEAD. . .Light a Candle. . sip a cup of tea. . .
Close your eyes
LISTEN AGAIN
THERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT KINDS OF THANKSGIVINGS
AND NOT ALL OF THEM ARE
THE LAST THURSDAYS OF NOVEMBER
COMPLETE WITH TURKEY, DRESSING, MASH POTATOES, PUMPKIN PIE
AND ALL OF THE REST OF THE FIXINGS. . .
SOMETIMES THE BEST THANKSGIVINGS
AREN’T RECOGNIZED AS ANYTHING MUCH MORE THAN
MERE MOMENTS OF MERCI’S
I’m grateful for much and
for George Winston
before, during, after
all the Thanksgivings
(and a little more)
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