The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

NO REGRET LIVING=NO REGRET GRATITUDE

By Leave a Comment

I have been a big fan of Brené Brown for many years now. If I’ve read this post of her before, I certainly have forgotten it, but I’m so glad it’s found me again now so I can not only be reminded but also remind you of what gratitude, what Thanksgiving is all about:  EMBRACING fully not the shoulds/woulds/coulds of our lives, but the actual good, kind, compassionate things we have actually done for another.  ENJOY her post of November 1 as she passed on some gold nuggets from Daniel Pink; Psssssssssssssssst: YOU WON’T REGRET IT

My research and my life have taught me that regret is one of our most powerful emotional reminders that reflection, change, and growth are necessary. In our research, regret emerged as a function of empathy. And, when used constructively, it’s a call to courage and a path toward wisdom.

One of the most powerful lines about regret comes from George Saunders’s 2013 commencement address at Syracuse University.

Saunders talked about how when he was a child, a young girl was teased at his school and, although he didn’t tease her and even defended her a little, he still thought about it. He said:

“So here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it: What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness. Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded . . . sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.”

The idea that regret is a fair but tough teacher can really piss people off. “No regrets” has become synonymous with daring and adventure, but I disagree. The idea of “no regrets” doesn’t mean living with courage, it means living without reflection. To live without regret is to believe we have nothing to learn, no amends to make, and no opportunity to be braver with our lives.

In our work, we find that what we regret most are our failures of courage, whether it’s the courage to be kinder, to show up, to say how we feel, to set boundaries, to be good to ourselves, to say yes to something scary. Regret has taught me that living outside my values is not tenable for me.

Regrets about not taking chances have made me braver. Regrets about shaming or blaming people I care about have made me more thoughtful.

Sometimes the most uncomfortable learning is the most powerful.

Daniel Pink

It feels like we spend so much effort on the things that are mostly EFFORTLESS is we allow them, if we allow ourselves to be ourselves with others.          .          .
and not a single REGRET was in sight.          .          .

JUST A MOMENT: LOOKING AT WHAT YOU ARE SEEING

By Leave a Comment

At first glance, it would seem that I’m a 69-year-old Swifty because of all the bracelets that I wear but in just a moment you see that’s the problem with the first glance, because what we look at isn’t always what we see until we hear the rest of the story and most of that story can be told in just a moment and it needs not just to be told but actually heard.

Maybe what needs to be heard the most is we are all unfinished stories waiting for just the next person, the next situation, the next moment to come and add onto us, to complete us a little bit more than what we were before just the moment before THE MOMENT; so take a look.  What are you actually seeing; what you’re looking at or do you need to know the story behind what you are looking at; what you are seeing.  .  .  ?

So hum along as your story continues to be written, read aloud and heard.         .         .

A DIFFERENT THANKSGIVING

By Leave a Comment

GO AHEAD.        .          .Light a Candle.       .      sip a cup of tea.         .            .
Close your eyes
LISTEN AGAIN

THERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT KINDS OF THANKSGIVINGS
AND NOT ALL OF THEM ARE
THE LAST THURSDAYS OF NOVEMBER
COMPLETE WITH TURKEY, DRESSING, MASH POTATOES, PUMPKIN PIE
AND ALL OF THE REST OF THE FIXINGS.        .       .
SOMETIMES THE BEST THANKSGIVINGS
AREN’T RECOGNIZED AS ANYTHING MUCH MORE THAN
MERE MOMENTS OF MERCI’S 
I’m grateful for much and
     for George Winston
before, during, after
all the Thanksgivings
(and a little more)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Winston

LIVING IN AN AGE

By Leave a Comment

I apologize and I am a little embarrassed that C. S. Lewis isn’t one of my favorite authors, but I read a daily meditation from him.  Some I like and some I don’t and some are more spot on than any spot that is on; here’s one of them and I hope it helps. I hope it inspires. I hope it encourages us to be the WE, the US, the ALL that we are called to be NOW, HERE, at this very moment .           .          .

In one way we think a great deal too much of the atomic bomb. ‘How are we to live in an atomic age?’ I am tempted to reply: ‘Why, as you would have lived in the sixteenth century when the plague visited London almost every year, or as you would have lived in a Viking age when raiders from Scandinavia might land and cut your throat at night; or indeed, as you are already living in an age of cancer, an age of syphilis, an age of paralysis, an age of air raids, an age of railway accidents, an age of motor accidents.

In other words, do not let us begin by exaggerating the novelty of our situation. Believe me, dear sir or madam, you and all whom you love were already sentenced to death before the atomic bomb was invented… It is perfectly ridiculous to go about whimpering and drawing long faces because the scientists have added one more chance of painful and premature death to a world which already bristled with such chances and in which death itself was not a chance at all, but a certainty.

If we are all going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let that bomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things—praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts—not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs. They may break our bodies (a microbe can do that) but they need not dominate our minds. -C.S. Lewis

I don’t know what dog ear’s the pages in your book
but it’s important enough
that you don’t want to forget and.         .         .
and want to show Another
what to
R  E  M  E  M  B  E  R.          .           .

JUST A MOMENT: WHEN A MUG HOLDS MORE THAN JUST A DRINK

By 2 Comments

It’s a simple
yet a very profound question.           .          .
What makes your mug your mug.          .          .          ?
What literally gives it
not just meaning
but it’s sip-ability
It’s amazing even when it’s empty
When it’s your mug
It’s filled with much more
than your favorite beverage or drink.           .          .
It’s filled with once upon a time in memories
and significant  just a moments
and they’re so overflowing
that it can’t help but to be shared
with another
.            .            .What makes your mug
your mug.       .       .       ?
In just a moment
without even a paused ponder
you know
and sharing what you know
of these sip-abilities
is most holy
S   I   P
O N

SOME UP-CHUCKINGS

By Leave a Comment

HOW ARE YOU DOING.            .            .
I know a lot of you have been asking what I think or more pertinently
direction on what to do, I mean s p e c i f i c a l l y
WHAT TO DO
coming from a scary, dark place of  fear
And as much as I wish I could you the
A
B
C
steps for you to do NEXT
I am instead offering up a host of not so pretty or in orderly fashioned
UP-CHUCKING’S
(literally)

If there was ever a picture that kind of sums up what your head and gut feels like these past couple of days, maybe it’s a Snow Globe that’s literally been upended.          .          .

So many people have reached out through texts, phone calls, pop in visits not knowing what to think or do and NO.     .      . I don’t have, nor am I offering up any magical, abracadabra special
thoughts or answers, but like a lot of you some very honest,
“I DON’T KNOW’S.       .         .
A     N     D
some of these random flavored Life Savers
A          N           D
A          N          D
A          N          D
A          N          D
A          N          D
When I was going through a drive through Starbucks on
Wednesday morning there was a car in front of me
who paid for my cup of much needed Grande Blonde Roast Coffee
ACCIDENT
COINCIDENT
DIVINE INTERVENTION
One of the darkest places in our house
(my basement bathroom, and yes, I have bookshelves in there)
reminds me
(if I notice)
THE DARKEST PLACES
HOLD THE MOST GLORIOUS LIGHTS
Carve out a space
where YOUR LIGHT
can be lit
where YOUR LIGHT
can flicker away Darknesses
where YOUR LIGHT
can glow and enlighten
where YOUR LIGHT
can be seen and shared
because YOUR LIGHT
creates an Enlightenment
Anytime
Anywhere
I want to be
An Extended Hand
A hearing Ear
A Reasoning Refuge
Who Cares
instead of  complaining
always looking for an easier way
to shrug my shoulders
frown my brow
grump apathetically,
“Who Cares?”
I choose to be better
and I invite you to help me
because that’s what gives me
H O P E
a hope I just don’t want to have
but can’t help but to share
DEAR HEARTS
This is what we get to choose
A casting of a vote for
H O P E
A vote for Peace
A vote for Love and Loving
as we are reminded of the powerful words of the poet Dinos Christianopoulus:
“THEY TRIED TO BURY US. THEY DIDN’T KNOW WE WERE SEEDS”
Please, even as you forgive these hodge podge of
UP-CHUCKINGS
.       .      .come Grow with me

JUST A MOMENT: LIGHT AND SHADOWS

By 2 Comments

I looked really hard, but I couldn’t find that little sideways oval space to blacken in a vote for
LOVE
or
KINDNESS
~~things that’ll never be, cannot ever be legislated;
but neither can my sincere honor to offer them.             .           .

BE THE LOVE YOU WISH TO RECEIVE
(is the only box you’ll ever need to darken)

THE COSMIC EYE PERSPECTIVE

By Leave a Comment

The whole world is seeking it, aren’t they: PERSPECTIVE

When you are feeling BIG and need to feel a little smaller
When you are feeling SMALL and need to feel bigger.      .       .

Oh, the gift of perspective!

“Cosmic Eye” seamlessly zooms through all recognized scales of the universe, from minuscule elementary particles out to the infinite cosmic web. It uses actual photographs obtained with modern detectors, telescopes, and microscopes, plus renderings of modern computer models.

Pssssssssssssst:  THIS IS A WEEK we all could use some PERSPECTIVE

BE OPEN

BE SENSITIVE

to the Smallnesses in the Bignesses in each of us.          .          .          .

(My thanks to astrophysicist Danail Obreschkow and pianist Aakash Gandhi, via Scientificus. 

ARE YOU A WITCH

By 2 Comments

Maybe Halloween…or HALLOW’S EVE isn’t quite over yet.                 .                 .
but no matter what the day or the day after is all about:
(Christian origins and historic customs. Halloween is thought to have influences from Christian beliefs and practices. The English word ‘Halloween’ comes from “All Hallows’ Eve”, being the evening before the Christian holy days of All Hallows’ Day (All Saints’ Day) on 1 November and All Souls’ Day on 2 November)

ARE YOU A WITCH

This really got my attention, so I wanted to share it with anyone interested in history.
One of my friends told me about a powerful lesson in her daughter’s high school class recently. They’re learning about the Salem Witch Trials, and their teacher told them they were going to play a game.

“I’m going to come around and whisper to each of you whether you’re a witch or a regular person. Your goal is to build the largest group possible that does NOT have a witch in it. At the end, any group found to include a witch gets a failing grade.” 

The teens dove into grilling each other. One fairly large group formed, but most of the students broke into small, exclusive groups, turning away anyone they thought gave off even a hint of guilt.
“Okay,” the teacher said. “You’ve got your groups. Time to find out which ones fail. All witches, please raise your hands.”
No one raised a hand. 

The kids were confused and told the teacher he’d messed up the game.

“Did I? Was anyone in Salem an actual witch? Or did everyone just believe what they’d been told?”


And that is how you teach kids how easy it is to divide a community. 
Keep being welcoming, beautiful people. Shunning, scapegoating and dividing destroys far more than they protect. Do not allow the political elite to divide us. We must remain united against those who would do so
 

T                    H                   I                    S
got me thinking
and maybe it tickled your gray matter a little, too
and for the record:
Maybe the greatest MASK
you can ever wear.      .     .
IS THE ONE YOU
D  O  N  ‘  T 

MORE THAN A TALK

By 2 Comments

AMAZING THINGS HAPPEN
WHEN YOU TALK
AND
L            I                S             T              E             N
especially when you ask
curiously
and
listen hard.               .              .
WE
L     E     A     R     N.           .           .
(A LOT)

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man