The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

When Generosity is More than a W O R D

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Do you have one?

Do you remember a time when you actually saw an

A C T    O F    G E N E R O S I T Y ?

Erin, my wife, gave this Parka from Alaska via a Thrift store, right off her back on a cold winter day when she saw someone she recognized, who rode his bike everyday from his house to a local coffee shop, now in a cold snow storm, without a coat.

A friend, Terry, did the same thing a few years ago. A group of us from Church made sandwiches, bought gloves to literally pass out to the homeless on a cold, Sunday afternoon. We literally had given everything we came downtown to give and there was one, cold gentleman who got there late and asked if there was anything left; the sandwiches, gloves, hats had all been distributed, but Terry literally took off her coat and sweatshirt and gave it to the man.

I just heard about a guy on an airplane who actually tipped the Flight Attendant a $100.00 for the amazing job she did serving during the flight.

He was standing at a Stop Light in front of a Strip Mall with a Panera Bread.  As I came up to the light he was standing there just holding a sign.     .     .no bucket or anything to collect money.  He wasn’t aggressive.     .     .just standing there holding a sign I’ve never seen anyone  E V E R  hold before:

S    E    E    K    I    N    G           H   U   M   A   N          K    I    N    D    N    E    S    S

I rolled down the window and for the first time in my life,

gave a   $10     d o l l a r      b i l l 

and the meal we had just bought.        .        .

I never knew that such an offering could buy such an expression on someone’s face;

Do you have one?

Do you remember a time when you actually saw an

A  C  T      O  F      G  E  N  E  R  O  S  I  T  Y ?

There is no way to ever measure,

is there,

the exact effect it had on the

O            N            E
who actually received such an act of generosity–

F  O  R  G  E  T        T  H  A  T

Having witnessed an Act of Generosity…

WHAT EFFECT DID IT HAVE ON YOU?

Has it worn off?

Did it inspire you to

GO   AND   DO  LIKEWISE ?

G e n e r o u s      A C T S

will do that…

so do the TELLING
so do the HEARING

of such acts. . . .

DO    TELL

S H A R E

so that WE will not only get the benefit.         .         .

but be inspired to make our own

Stories   of   Generosity

to be witnessed
to tell
to be told
to experience
to inspire yet even more
to tell
to be told
to experience
to inspire
to make

G   E   N   E   R   O   S   I   T   Y

more than just a mere

WORD.      .      .

DO   TELL

S H A R E

What’s

Y  O  U  R       S  T  O  R  Y ?

Harmonics

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It’s true.        .        .

I’m    a    One – Song – Musician

When it comes to the Harmonica the very first song I learned,

ended up literally being the last one:

O   L   D        S  U  S  A  N  N  A

I usually get lots of mileage out of that when I’m giving a Keynote Speech.

I relay it back to the strong fact that there’s not really much need for a

One-Song-Musician.

I mean, I can’t book a Concert Hall and play Old Susanna for a solid two-and-a-half hours to be followed by another fifteen minute encore, right?

The    point?

Just because we do

ONE   OUTSTANDING   DEED,

it doesn’t let us off the hook for never having to do another one–EVER!

As much as there just isn’t much need for a One-Song-Musician,

there’s not a whole lot of curtain calls for a

One-Deed-Good-Samaritan, either.

We are NOT  called to do good,

to be Compassionate,

Caring,

Understanding,

Accepting,

Forgiving,

just once or once in a while.       .       .

but   E V E R Y    T I M E

I had just given an early morning talk to an area Rotary Club

and actually began the talk without saying a word.   .   .

just pulling out my harmonica and playing my beloved,

O  N  E       S  O  N  G

I made my point.

I finished my talk to a standing ovation

(I knew I could play THAT song, but I had no idea it would cause such a powerful reaction)

and after staying around and talking with several people,

I made my way to the nearest STARBUCKS for my morning cup of coffee before during some patient visits,

a funeral

and another talk to end the day.

I  KID  YOU  NOT

while I was standing in line,

there was a guy who came into a now fairly crowded STARBUCKS to get his morning fix actually

playing   a   harmonica!

Everyone kind of stopped.    .    .

I mean texting, googling, face-booking, tweeting, talking–

and looked up as the guy get in line right beside me playing his bluesy song.

When he came up for a breath,

I told him that I too was a HARMONICIST

“Really,” he sounded surprised?

“Really, ” I echoed back,

“but  I’m  a  very  specialized  harmonicist.”

“Specialized?”

“Yes sir!  I know just one song, but I know it real, real, REAL good–Old Susanna!”

We both laughed.

I asked him what he liked playing the best and he answered me by playing some rag-tag-hot-bluesy-piece.

I told him

 T      H      A      T   

just earned him a free cup of coffee.

Now that our order was in, we went to the end of the other line to wait to our Fixes.

He told me that he played at as many amateur nights as he could find,

but often had to compete unfairly with guitarists.

Our orders now delivered,

I shook his hand,

thanked him for his mini-concert and wished him continued success and blessings in the present and future.

His last sentence to me was of pure music.     .     .

Grammy worthy:

“Thanks, my man.      .      .

I’m    just    a    song    looking    for    a    pair    of    ears!”

Ain’t   we   all?

Well,  worth a cup of coffee,  huh?

Who would have thought that I walked in thirsting for a Breve Venti Latte

and walked out with my latte,

a smile,

a story and a great memory that I,

that we,

are  m o r e, 

so very much more than meets the eye or the ear.

What a shame if it were just shared

 O    N    C    E !

B    E 

the song that needs heard,

sung,

danced,

remembered

–repeatedly–

often.       .       .

H      A      R      M      O      N      I      C      S

At     it’s     Best !

(and    o u r s)

 

A Helper’s High(er)

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Have you ever suffered from

A  L  T  I  T  U  D  E           S  I  C  K  N  E  S  S ?

I’m not asking what’s the highest mountain you’ve ever climbed

or if you’ve ever hiked a Pike’s Peak-like trail;

I’m   asking   did   you   ever   feel   the   highest   of   high’s:

A      H  E  L  P  E  R ‘ S       H  I  G  H ?

No, it’s not a myth or even a goal to have or aspire.      .      .

it’s very real and like most real things,

it not only evokes a lot of opinions and theories,

but also a lot of studies that actually present  facts.

Take  any   N    D    A    D.     .     .

That’s right, a Non-Directed Anonymous Donor. . .these are people who literally walk in off the street and say that they are healthy and would like to donate a kidney; not to a family member or a distant relative or a very close childhood friend. . .NO, to an actual person they have never met and quite possible never will; a true; NON-DIRECTED ANONYMOUS DONOR.

Dr. David Lansburg, director of kidney transplants for British Columbia, Vancouver says that such a donation sets off a chain reaction of giving as well as a saving multiple lives.

You think?

Dr. Abraham Maslow called such acts, witnessed and shared,

P  E  A  K        E  X  P  E  R  I  E  N  C  E  S.         .          .

Dr. Jonathan Haidt is a psychologist calls this peak experience ELATION and describes it as a warm feeling in the chest, a sensation of expansion in the heart, an increased desire to help, and increased sense of  connection with others.

Well.           .           .

are you buying THIS a cup of coffee

or treating it like some discarded moldy grounds?

BE    YOUR    OWN    STUDY

You don’t have to go too far back into your own personal photo album to remember,

do you?

If someone yells at you for no good reason, first thing in the morning.     .     .

it’s sets off a chemical reaction inside of you that would make the most sophisticated Chemistry Sets pale in comparison.

Pssssssssssssssst:

The same is true if you

DO GOOD.      .      .or even witness good being done!

FACT:  When you do even the simplest of kind things, you literally feel happier–because you do; it’s the brain’s natural versions of morphine and heroin–they call it dopamine.

FACT:  Kindness gives you a healthier heart.  Oxytocin causes the release of nitric oxide which expands the blood vessels, hence, lowering blood pressure.

FACT:  Kindess slows down the aging process.  The study of Tibetan Buddhist’s Loving Kindness Compassion meditation found that kindness and compassion did, in fact, reduce inflammation in the body.

FACT:  Kindness makes for better relationships.  Seriously, do you hate seeing an act of kindness or actually having one done to you?

FACT:  Kindness is contagious.  Let’s go back to our 28 year old Non-Directed Anonymous Donor (NDAD) who walked into a clinic and donated a kidney.  It set off a “pay it forward ” type of ripple effect where the spouses or other family members of recipients of a kidney donated one of theirs to someone in need.  The “domino effect,”  as it is called in the New England Journal of Medicine report, spanned the length and breadth of the United States, where 10 people received a new kidney as a result of a that single anonymous donor.

So.        .        .

you want to get   H  I  G  H  ?

Get  your  kindness  on.     .     .

It’s the one Rock you can throw

that’ll start three ripples with the first skip:

The  ripple  for the recipient

The  ripple  for you

The  ripple  for the one who might see the kindness.       .       .

One simple act of kindness will get you a one way ticket to a

H  e  l  p  e  r  ‘s       H  i  g  h

W      A      R      N      I      N      G:

B   E   W   A   R   E.         .         .

T  H  I  S       I  S       H  I  G  H  L  Y       A  D  D  I  C  T  I  V E

Your Compassion Fingerprint

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WHAT’S      IN      IT      FOR      ME ? 

It’s a question asked by many.       .      .

by me.         .         .

by you.         .         .

b  y         u  s.

It’s really asked when it comes to

being   kind,

being   compassionate, 

not   o  n  c  e,

but time and again and again,

over and over.

HOW  MANY  TIMES  IS  ENOUGH?

WHEN’S  IT  OUR  TURN?

WHY  NOT  US?

All good questions,

but can we just take a deep breath,

no.           .           .

go ahead and take three deep breaths in a row,

holding each one for about five seconds

and then letting them all the way out real slowly.         .        .

P           A           U           S           E

And reframe the Questions

to just one single

o      n      e:

W h y     P r a c t i c e     C o m p a s s i o n ?

The scientific research is really starting to pile up

and it all dramatically points to what you might have felt

but now can fully experience.

The benefits of being

C      o      m      p      a      s      s      i      o      n      a      t      e,

literally,

can improve your health,

well-being,

and relationships,

both your intimate,

close ones as well the fringe friendships.       .       .

Many scientists are even telling us that Compassion may even be vital to the survival of our species and through actual dedicated, intentional practice, these benefits can literally be

off      the      charts !

The Compassion Research is telling us:

  • Compassion makes us feel good: a compassionate act activates pleasure circuits in the brain.
  • Being Compassionate–tuning in to other people in a kind and loving ways can actually reduce the risk of heart disease by boosting the positive effects of the Vargus Nerve, which helps to slow our heart rate.
  • Brain scans during loving-kindness meditation, which directs compassion toward suffering, suggest that, on average, compassionate people’s minds wander less about what’s gone wrong in their lives or what might go wrong in the future, making them happier.
  • Brain scans also show that when people experience compassion, their brains activate in neural systems to support parental nurturance–they become better parents.
  • Compassion helps make people better spouses; they’re more optimistic and supportive when communicating with others.
  • Compassion helps make better friends.
  • Employees who receive more compassion in their workplace see themselves, their co-workers, and their organization in a more positive light, report feeling more positive emotions like joy and contentment, and are more committed to their jobs.
  • Compassionate people are more socially adept, making them less vulnerable to loneliness; loneliness has been shown to cause stress and hare the immune system.

So.        .        .

WHAT’S   IN  IT  FOR  ME?

Hmmmmmmmmmm.      .      .

it seems,

not   one   thing.      .      .

It’s    m a n y    things!

Pssssssssssssssssst:

 N  E  V  E  R      T  R  U  S  T      T  H  E      S  C  I  E  N  C  E !

Use yourself as your own private lab experiment.         .         .

Test it for yourself.

What have you got to lose?

Ummmmmmmmmmm:

Just  being

 L    E    S    S         C    O    M    P    A    S    S    I    O    N    A    T    E  !  

A True VICTOR

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images

Are you a Victim

or a

V          I          C          T          O          R  ?

Or    just    a

Chuck,

Erin,

Sam,

Henry,

Danica,

Johnny,

Joe,

an Anybody.        .        .   

Somebody.        .        .

Nobody.        .        .   ?

About once a month we get free buffets at the Horseshoe Casino

Great Dinner.         .          .

but the

S            E            R            V            I            C            E

was way beyond ordinary;

V   i   c   t   o   r

He seated us

and poured out ice teas

and then gave us some complimentary bottled waters.       .       .

He got real excited when he announced

that he had something very special for us,

and he even more excited

when he brought some special made appetizers.        .         .

did I mention that this was a    b  u  f  f  e  t

and not some Four-Star restaurant?

He brought us back fancy desserts

that weren’t up on the dessert tray.        .        .

He couldn’t be more accommodating and kind;

He got a little embarrassed

when I asked him about himself

and how long he had been working here at the casino.        .        .

He said he loved

w           a           i           t           i           n           g  

on   people

and that we had been great people to serve.       .       .

W               O               W

I was watching the other servers,

but no one was running around like Victor.        .        .

No one was giving

who they were serving

anything      e   x   t   r   a.        .        .

I even saw a few roll their eyes

when someone had left them a less than satisfactory tip.        .        .

Victor      was      a      most      excellent

S      E      R      V      E      R

A    True    Caring    Catalyst

I gave him a huge tip that night.        .        .

He was very grateful and very surprised;

I told him that he was most excellent and he

m        a        d        e

our night extra ordinary.        .        .

I have him a big tip

but he had given me a

t          i          p

much    larger

and even more significant:

S E R V E      P E O P L E     

MORE   THAN   THE   EXPECT   OR   DESERVE

WITHOUT   ANY   EXPECTATION   OF   ANYTHING   IN   RETURN

He made me ask a question

a     r e a l     q u e s t i o n:

Am I more of a

V   i   c   t   i   m

  or    a

 V        I        C        T        O        R ?

Victor showed me that no matter what Color

No matter what your Race,

No matter what your Creed,

No matter what your Gender,

No matter what your political Persuasion,

You can still serve others by serving in the best way possible;

Victor showed me that it’s not about

doing for others as you would have them do unto you

so    much    as    serving    others    as    they    would       like

in a most perfect way.           .           .

Victor      s   h   o   w   e   d

that it’s not about giving people what they deserve,

it’s    about    just    giving    to    others

j  u s t          b e c a u s e

Are you?

Are you more

A Victim

or

A         V   i   c   t   o   r?

Psssssssssssssst:

S         H         O         W           M         E.        .        .

better still

S  H  O  W        O  T  H  E  R  S

(lots of them)

o      f      t      e      n

Life ASSURANCE

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This week is a very Holy week in the Judeo-Christian population that spans the World.

It always brings to surface the most interesting questions and debates but it always focuses on doing for others what you would want done for you.        .        .

for being

K I N D;

We spend literal billions of dollars

INSURING LIFE

but easily go in the

RED

when it comes to

ASSURING LIFE.        .        .

What’s in it for you?

Is it just Dollars and Cents?

A nicer Home?
Better furnishings?
Higher Education?
Prestigious Job?
Comfy Bank Account?
Healthy Check-Up’s?

W H A T ?

I mean, can we actually LIVE

off a Feel-Good Emotions?

Will merely witnessing HAPPINESS

make you HAPPY?

Will reaching UNDERSTANDING

make you HAPPY?

Will feeling Love

guarantee what no money or vast amounts of it

BUY?

WHAT      IS      IT      YOU      DESIRE      MOST?

Sometimes.        .        .

It’s NOT the Ripple you cause,

but the one you

C  A  U  S  E       T  O       B  E        C  A  U  S  E  D

in others.         .         .

The one you might never know exists,

let alone ever having knowledge of I N D U C I N G.         .         .

Life INSURANCE

may never be used.        .        .

L  I  F  E       A  S  S  U  R  A  N  C  E

will never fail NOT being Utilized;

Hmmmmmmmmm of the Day:

LIFE ASSURANCE   is something we’ll all be able to CASH in on.      .      .

It’s what’ll make a Holy Week,

H       O       L       Y

even when it’s

N        O        T !

Now

THAT’S a POLICY

we all should invest in

L  A  S  T        W  E  E  K.          .          .

The World in Your Hands

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empathy1

YOU

hear it more and more:

IT’S    NOT    A    SMALL    WORLD  

 SO    MUCH    AS    JUST    A    BIG    LIVING    ROOM.       .       . 

I do a Keynote presentation where I hand out of Baggie full of objects

that helps us Understand that very thing:

IT’S   NOT   A   SMALL   WORLD   SO   MUCH   AS   JUST   A   BIG   LIVING   ROOM

One of the small objects I place in the baggie is a puzzle piece;

I tell the audience that the we’re often told to

LOOK     AT     THE     BIG     PICTURE

which is really an overwhelming thing to do.         .         .

It   is

P  I  E  C  E      b  y      P  I  E  C  E

 that our lives are literally put together and

T  A  K  E       S  H  A  P  E
R  E  C  E  I  V  E       M  E  A  N  I  N  G

I give the audience a puzzle piece to remind them just how important

 I  S

T    H    E         M   O   M   E   N   T

I give the audience a puzzle piece to remind them just how

WE       ALL       FIT       TOGETHER.

Mother Theresa once said,

“IF    I    LOOK    AT    THE    MASS,    I    WILL    NEVER    ACT.”

If she thought about just how many suffering victims there were in the World, it would have been emotionally paralyzing and prevented from actually providing help.

I don’t have to help every poor, hungry, down-on-their-luck-no-one-gives-a-damn-about-me-person in the World.        .        .

JUST   THE   ONE   IN   FRONT   OF   ME
JUST    THE    ONE    BEHIND    ME
JUST     THE     ONE     BESIDE     ME

J   U   S   T        T   H   E        O   N   E !

We really do have the World in our Hands.        .        .

It’s not so big

T H A T      W A Y,

is  it?

Very  manageable;

I don’t know the 12 Mystical Ways to Open your Soul

I don’t know the 21 Magical Ways to open your Heart

I      do      know      that     when

I    LISTEN    WITH    MORE    THAN    MY    EARS  

I    RESPOND    AND    NOT    SO    MUCH    REACT

I    REPLENISH    MY    SOUL    TO    REFILL    ANOTHER’S

I    REMEMBER    THE    WHOLE    PERSON

I    SUFFER    WHAT    OTHER’S    HAVE    SUFFERED

I    GIVE    MYSELF    A     PASS    FOR    BEING    TOO    HUMAN

I   know

that my Puzzle Piece becomes a little bit more important

I know

that the World becomes a little bit more smaller in my Hands.       .       .

More, uhhhh,

H           A            N            D            A            B            L            E

for    me
for    you
for    us
A      L      L

W O R D S

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Stick and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.      .      .

T  r  u  e,   h u h ?

Words, won’t hurt you at all.       .       .

they’ll maim,

mutilate,

humiliate,

and possibly stop you growing for quite sometime if ever,

the same again,

but no,
W   o   r   d   s        w i l l        n e v e r        h u r t        y o u .      .      . 

It was our parents and grandparents way of protecting us from bullies wasn’t it?

But again,

the biggest bullies we ever face

might not be those we perceive to do us harm

from the “OUTSIDE,”

but those who are the very closest to us,

wives,

husbands,

mothers,

fathers,

sons,

daughters,

grandparents,

nieces/nephews,

brothers,

sisters,

friends, or, yes.          .          ,

even     o u r s e l v e s !

I   WISH   THAT   YOU   WOULD SAY__________________________________________

We all have our individual ways

of filling in the most important blank

that often leaves us

B       L       A       N       K—–

E     m     p     t     y.       .       .

H O W   we fill in that Blank

is much more important than   W H A T

we fill in it’s________________________.

And yes,

we know it,

we know we know it,

we bet our lives that we know it,

but for the life of us,

we mostly act like we don’t know:

We can be that

Glorious    Blank    FILLER

for others.        .        .

I   WISH   THAT   YOU   WOULD   SAY.         .         .

Needs to be replaced with:

TELL ME WHAT YOU’D LIKE TO HEAR

THAT WOULD MAKE YOU THE

H     A     P     P     I     E     S     T.           .         .

and then do more than  listen,

or hear.        .        .

but    do    accordingly.          .          .

Absolutely,

YOUR   WORDS   ARE   POWERFUL        .        .

Use them as the balm that soothes i

nstead of the bash that bruises.          .          .

In   the   End,
we   will   remember   not   the   words   of   our   enemies,
but   the   silence   of   our   friends
–Martin Luther King, Jr.

Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will. . .

hmmmmmmmmmmm.        .        .

Fill in

“T   H   E       B   L   A   N   K”

C o m p a s s i o n a t e ly .          .          .

Scars

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Unknown-1

We all have them, don’t we?

S              C              A              R              S  !

They always tell stories, don’t they?

Where we got them?

How long ago?

What they used to look like?

How they faded.       .        .

How,

How   they   still   hurt.        .        .

But isn’t this the truest of true?

The worst scars there are,

the ones that hurt the most,

aren’t the ones we wear on our sleeves,

or can ever really be seen.         .         .

they’re the ones we wear on our hearts,

aren’t they?

It’s an older movie now,

“THE      PERKS     OF     BEING      A      WALLFLOWER,”

2012;

the book, older still, by Stephen Chbosky,

1999,

and there’s a Classic line that’ll knock you to your knees and let the funk run out, or at least, uncover that bruised, scarred, still-very-much-beating heart

“WE      ACCEPT      THE      LOVE      WE      THINK      WE      DESERVE.”

Before I even hint of asking you,

is it

T     R     U     E

or

F     A     L     S     E,

maybe what I should really ask is,

“Are you willing to show your scars,

every minute,

 infinitesimal scar

your beating heart expands

with each pulsation?

Well.        .        . ?

T     R     U     E

or

F       A       L       S       E ?

Sorry.        .       .

you’ve got to

S                 H                 O                 W

your work,

just like some Fifth Grade Math homework.        .        .

P    R    O    V    E        I    T !

Do     Y O U,

Accept the Love

Y       O       U

think    YOU   deserve?

Want      to      see      my      scar ?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh,

you   already   have—-

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,

your    scars    are    my    scars,

my    scars    are    yours.       .       .       

WHY BE KIND

By Leave a Comment

W          H          Y  ?

Why  be

 k                   i                    n                    d   ?

A  learned Rabbi once told me

to always ask a

q     u     e     s     t     i     o     n

with  a

q     u     e     s     t     i     o     n

So.       .       .

W h y     b e

m                     e                    a                    n  ?

There’s a lot of negativity out there

that we actually

A  R  E      N O T

immune.     .      .

I love that filmmakers,

Jessie Aurit and Alexandra Berger

wanted to do something to

c        o        m        b       a        t

all   of   the

s        t       u       f       f

out

t                   h                   e                 r                   e   

and  kids

are the perfect

v               o               i               c               e

that  we  may  actually

l          i          s          t          e          n

.          .          .the children discussing

k        i        n        d        n        e        s :

What  it  is.        .        .

Why  it  is important .        .        .

The consequences of being unkind.          .          .

Why  kindness  is  vital  for  our  future.          .          .

Your  Favorite ?

Mine:

“IF    YOU    BE    NICE    IT    GIVES    YOU    A    MAGICAL    LIFE”

y     e    a   h.        .        .

a     m a g i c a l     life:

L                    E                    T             ‘       S

let’s

K          I          N          D          N          E          S          S

It’s the main ingredient

of being a Caring Catalyst

and here’s the not-s0-big-secret:

It’s in all of us

and there’s always ever just one thing that keeps it from coming

o  u  t.          .          .

y                       o                       u.            .            .            .

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man