Who Cares - What Matters
He stares
at his hand
and the pen
as it levitates
over a blank page
not just waiting for a word
but a rare polished gem
that’ll never be mined
only to be replaced
by some fool’s gold
d r o s s
unrefined
never to hold any value
meaning
sense
And he smiles
w i d e l y
as he sighs
without a breath
‘This is Poetry at its best’
Hair Love,
an Oscar-winning animated short film
from Akron University’s Matthew A. Cherry,
tells the heartfelt story of an African American father
learning to do his daughter’s hair
for the first time. . .
L I S T E N
take it from a bald man
A LITTLE BIT WORK
AND A WHOLE LOT OF LOVE
is a message
that transcends
even the most
unruliest
strands of hair
Most are willing to put in the
W O R K
but not the
L O V E
but when you do,
Life not only
C H A N G E S
it revolutionarily gets
B E T T E R
(P R O V E I T)
Thinking outside the box challenges, agitates, even frightens most of us,
and worst of all:
KEEPS US IN THE BOX
I recently saw this amazing video from a post of Chris Cade and it came with some other smash-up-get-rid-of-the-box thoughts:
One thousand and five hundred kindergarten children were given a test in divergent thinking.
98% of those children scored at genius level.
Divergent thinking is what allows you to see lots of possible answers to a question.
If you ask your average person how to cook an egg, he’ll come up with about ten different ways you can do it. Frying pan, poacher, pot of boiling water, in a cake, etc.
Someone good at divergent thinking will come up with 200 ways to cook that egg.
How?
Because she thinks outside of the kitchen. He’ll cook the egg on the back of sunbather at the beach. At the end of a lightning rod. Or how about putting it in a indestructible container and throwing it into the center of the sun?
80% of the answers will be impractical… but it’s how you find the perfect answer nobody has thought about yet.
According to this one study (from the book “Breakpoint and Beyond”) we’re all born with a natural ability for divergent thinking. 1,470 out 1,500 children are brilliant at thinking up endless possibilities.
The same study tested the same kids ten years later.
As you can imagine, most lost their ability for divergent thinking.
“This shows two things,” says Sir Ken Robinson (world renowned education and creativity expert). “One is we all have this capacity. And two, it mostly deteriorates.”
“Now, a lot of thing has happened to these kids as they’ve grown up. Al lot. But one of the most important things that has happened to them, I’m convinced, is they’ve become ‘educated.’ They spent ten years at school being told there’s one answer – it’s at the back.”
That’s what today’s “Paper Airplane” video is all about.
And do you know why divergent thinking is so important? Because no two situations are exactly the same.
Whatever troubles, challenges or goals you are facing in life… they are like no one else’s. You’ll never find the exact answer to your problems in a book.
You need to think for yourself.
And you need to think of not 10 or 20 or even 40 different solutions for your problem.
You need to think of 200.
You need to think way outside the box. . .
Because life doesn’t come in a box with a instruction manual
even though we keep acting like it does
in the worst possible way
BY LOOKING FOR SAID INSTRUCTIONS
JUST THE SAME. . .
what tends to happen is we end up putting our life in a box supplied to us by society.
It even comes an instruction
“one-size fits all”
manual. . .
Of course, it’s never going to get you very far
Living in someone else’s box
following their instructions
At best, you’ll be average. . .
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm:
this video is about the
“science of making paper airplanes.”
Interesting because the airplane was invented by two bicycle repair men – the Wright Brothers. . .
They specialized in divergent thinking. . .
Other inventors at the time — with far more money — were focused on building a bigger and more powerful engine for their gliders. The consensus was. . .
“if you get a powerful enough engine, the thing would fly.”
The Wright brothers instead built a six-foot wind tunnel in their bicycle shop. This allowed them to test different wings and propellers. On December 17, 1903 they won the race while competitors were going bankrupt.
But today’s “Paper Airplane” movie puts even the divergent thinking of the Wright brothers to shame. Because a paper airplane is not what Wilbur and Orville flew south of Kitty Hawk…
So why put a paper airplane in the Kitty Hawk Box?
Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
The Best way to think
OUT OF THE BOX
is to
GET RID OF THE BOX
Besides. . .
why’s everyone settling for flying
when you can soar
and why soar
when you can
ascend
and why ascend
when you can
T R A N S C E N D
25 of anything is a good amount
but 25 years
well, now,
that’s even more of a profound number
and account. . .
A QUARTER OF A CENTURY
25 Years and more. . .
So very, very much more
I began serving North Royalton Christian Church on January 15, 1995, knowing that I NEEDED to have a part-time position to supplement my income having jumped from a full-time Senior Minister position at Westlake Christian Church and a part-time chaplain’s position at St. John Westshore Hospital to a Spiritual Care Coordinator’s position at Hospice of the Western Reserve. It was a JUMP then and now I don’t regret even though it was a major change for me and the family. I NEEDED to have this position more than I WANTED to have the position and when Susan Cash, an Elder and also one of the primary people on the Search Committee, stood up this past Sunday in Church and marked the occasion with some fabulous and humbling remarks, (which can be seen at the bottom of this post in full taken from the February Church Newsletter) It only summoned the memory to recall things that the weight of, buckles knees and humbles the heart.
I thought 25 years ago, I NEEDED North Royalton Christian Church for the supplemental income when there have been few moments in those 25 years that have failed to remind me that I NEEDED North Royalton Christian Church for so very much more, and oh, oh how they have delivered in more ways that we will all fail to fully comprehend. My best moments (and hopefully, theirs) is when we have lived in full, vivid living color that I am not THE minister of North Royalton Christian Church, but actually and fully, A MINISTER of the church and our greatest achievements and even failings, have been when we’ve seen each other that way. WE, US, not I or me, do the ministry of the church. In essence, they made me A Caring Catalyst before I knew the true definition on one.
Maybe it’s ironic, but as we are celebrating 25 years of ministry together, I am also looming on celebrating 40 years of being ordained this May. In such a profound and powerful way I fully KNOW that I’m not just a sum total of all the pieces/parts/experiences that make me up, but literally, all of the lives who have made my life, MY LIFE.
What excites and motivates me now is that there are still lives, pieces, parts, and experiences that continue to be added, to further, and not just expand or make my tapestry, but actually BE MY TAPESTRY. A single thread a tapestry does not make. I’m so richly consecrated to have that proven moment by moment and better still, person by person.
Much in the same vein of Robert Frost’s poem, STOPPING BY THE WOODS ON A SNOWY EVENING, I so much embody the last verse:
THE WOODS ARE LOVELY, DARK AND DEEP,
BUT I HAVE PROMISES TO KEEP,
AND MILES TO GO BEFORE I SLEEP,
AND MILES TO GO BEFORE I SLEEP.
In a way that echoes those very sentiments, Susan ended her much appreciated remarks with a quote by an author I’ve never really read, Ursula Le Guin. It comes from her novel, ALWAYS COMING HOME:
“When I take you to the Valley, you’ll see the blue hills on the left and the blue hills on the right, the rainbow and the vineyards under the rainbow late in the rainy season, and maybe you’ll say, ‘There it is, that’s it!’ But I’ll say, ‘A little further.’ We’ll go on, I hope and you’ll see the roofs of the little towns and the hillsides yellow with wild oats, a buzzard soaring and a woman singing by the shadows of a creek in the dry season, and maybe you’ll say, ‘Let’s stop here, this is it!’ But I’ll say, ‘A little further yet.’ And we’ll go on, a you’ll hear a quail calling on the mountain by the springs of the river, and looking back you’ll see the river running downward through the wild hills behind, below, and you’ll say, ‘Isn’t that the Valley?’ And all I will be able to say is, ‘Drink this water of the spring, rest here awhile, we have a long way yet to go without you.’”
I know that my best steps are the ones I’ve never taken alone
but in sync with others
and that the ones to be taken
could be the best ones
still yet to come
with the promise
that those taken long after my last step
could be the very best yet
even more
because of any step I’ve walked along with others
. . .those are the steps
that keep marching forward
. . .ALL-WAYS forward
advancing
inspiring other steps
to be taken
experienced
s h a r e d
25 Years
and More
so very, very much
M O R E
that shows you the difference between
N O T I C I N G
and
K N O W I N G
I have been so magnificently blessed
in experiencing both
and the best part–
I still do
I still am
WE ARE HUMBLY APPRECIATIVE
Thank you
January 26, 2020
In Honor of Chuck and Erin’s 25th Anniversary
In January 1995, we didn’t have GPS. There was no Febreze or Swiffer. Selfies & texting didn’t exist because there were no smart phones. Invisible braces were far off in the future. There was no Wikipedia, Google or Facebook and online banking and shopping at Amazon were not yet available.
If you were attending NRCC in early January of 1995, you know we didn’t have a minister either until later in the month. That’s when Chuck joined us.
Over the years, Chuck has presented about 1200 sermons to us. He doesn’t preach, he tells parables—I remember one of his first Sundays here he told us about a character in his hometown who the towns’ people called Ugly. It was a very touching and dramatic story. Chuck has delivered a sermon from the top of a ladder; he’s come dressed as a bum; was an Elvis impersonator; has been Paul, Peter, and Judas; and he often sings his sermons. Once his niece sat in our congregation as a homeless person.
I don’t think he has ever repeated a sermon let alone repeated a theme.
And standing alongside Chuck is Erin—we got a twofer—two special gifts to this congregation. We thank God for sending you both to us. You’ll never know how much we appreciate your devotion, your dedication, your love, your spirit, your teachings, and your wisdom.
I was watching a program about the writer Ursula Le Guin recently and the program ended with her reading from her novel Always Coming Home. I think her words speak to Chuck and Erin’s ministry here:
“When I take you to the Valley, you’ll see the blue hills on the left and the blue hills on the right, the rainbow and the vineyards under the rainbow late in the rainy season, and maybe you’ll say, “There it is, that’s it!” But I’ll say. “A little farther.” We’ll go on, I hope, and you’ll see the roofs of the little towns and the hillsides yellow with wild oats, a buzzard soaring and a woman singing by the shadows of a creek in the dry season, and maybe you’ll say, “Let’s stop here, this is it!” But I’ll say, “A little farther yet.” We’ll go on, and you’ll hear the quail calling on the mountain by the springs of the river, and looking back you’ll see the river running downward through the wild hills behind, and you’ll say, “Isn’t that the Valley?” And all I will be able to say is “Drink this water of the spring, rest here awhile, we have a long way yet to go and I can’t go without you.”
Thank you Chuck and Erin
Written by Susan Cash
You can learn a lot at the
Service Station. . .
I know because I used to work at one
~~ oh, that was years ago
and things have changed a whole lot
d i f f e r e n t l y. . .
Of course, back then
A Service Station
meant that you went out and pumped somebody’s gas
checked their oil
made sure their tire pressure was correct
A L L
while you actually wiped their windshield,
took their money,
made change
always gave small talk
and did it all with a smile. . .
even in the coldest parts of winter
the hottest parts of summer
Now. . .
well now,
it’s all
do it yourself,
but if you’re like me. . .
sometimes self
can’t do it
especially when it is
m y s e l f. . .
I heard something scraping underneath of the car and of course I took it to the service station and Mark, the mechanic said he’d give me a call when he go to the bottom of the problem; sure enough, within an hour, Mark called and let me know that what had been dragging on the ground was just an unnecessary plastic shield underneath of the car that had come untacted and he fixed it.
N O W
here’s where it gets interesting. . .
When people ask me, “Hey, where do you come up for your blog posts or your sermons, your in-the-process-self-published books, or your presentation ideas,” and I tell them that they’re everywhere, the IDEAS are more rampant than an abundance unmanaged germs; in fact, my biggest problem is never on my what I’m going to say, or write or do so much as what am I going to leave out and not say or do because they are just that multiple. . .
And here was one served up for me . . .
when I walked back into the
Service Station
to pick up my car
I had to wait to check out while Mark the Mechanic was on the phone
and it was
t h e r e
that I overheard a conversation. . .
It was taking place between two people about
predestination. . .
The gentleman said, “I believe that everything was predestined from the beginning and that everything that happens to us is destined and we have absolutely no control over anything.”
I don’t know if it was his wife
but the lady replied back in an agitated tone,
“That is absurd. I can’t believe that any intelligent person could actually think that we have no control over anything, let alone our own fate and destiny.”
This went back-and-forth for a little bit until she slammed the door shut with one simple question:
“If you believe that everything is destined and has been predetermined; that there is no choice on your part, then why did you look both ways before you crossed the street on our way over here after breakfast?”
I found out that day
what I learned a long time ago:
you can learn a lot at a service station
especially when you go there
because you can’t do
(s e r v i c e)
things yourself. . .
When’s the last time you met a person. . .
I mean a brand new person in your life,
you’ve never previously have heard of or met. . . ?
How were you introduced
or did you put your hand out first and say your name
with your title or some other way that identifies you. . . ?
DARE YOU
try to connect
or be connected in
A N O T H E R
w a y
Mingling at a work event inevitably means being asked the question “What do you do?” over and over again. After years of repetition and conditioning, most of us respond with “I’m job title X at company Y.” And while this is the answer people expect, it’s also likely to linger in your new acquaintance’s mind only until it’s replaced by what the next person says to them.
“Answering with your title and company is the cultural norm. But when you do, you’re missing out on an opportunity for the other person to know who you actually are. You are not just your job,” says Joanna Bloor, CEO of Amplify Labs. She specializes in helping people discover and articulate what makes them distinctive so that they can form deeper connections with others.
And it all starts with how you introduce yourself.
Bloor’s own answer demonstrates the power of an original response. If she answers “I’m CEO of Amplify Labs,” her questioner will probably go on to ask about what it’s like to be a CEO or what is Amplify Labs. But those lines of conversation don’t really allow a person to really know Bloor. So, when she’s asked “What do you do?”, she replies: “Do you like your own answer to the question ‘What do you do?’?” People invariably admit they don’t. She then says, “I know — everyone struggles with it, yet the answer can have massive impact. I work with people on crafting an answer that is bold, compelling, authentic and unique. I help you tell people why you’re awesome.”
Introducing yourself this way isn’t just about standing out in a crowded room or cutting through extraneous jargon and chitchat. By naming your special sauce upfront, says Bloor, you’re increasing the chances that the other person will bring up an opportunity, relationship, business or idea that could help you. As Bloor puts it, “When you get your introduction right, the opportunity is not only to genuinely connect with people, but you’ll also be allowed to do the work you really want to do.”
Be warned: crafting your intro takes a bit of time and effort. But as the world of work continues to change in ways we can’t anticipate, knowing what sets you apart from the pack is crucial. Here, Bloor tell us how you can come up with your new response to “What do you do?”
The first thing you need to do is figure out who you actually are. Bloor asks her clients, “What is it you would like to be known for?” It’s an uncomfortable question, but she finds it jolts people out of their comfort zones. Rather than relying on previous accomplishments, you’re forced to consider what you’d like your impact to be.
Bloor used this tactic on me. My typical response to “What do you do?” is “I’m a journalist and playwright.” But after she asked me what I loved about these professions and what I hoped to accomplish through them, she helped me craft a much deeper and more compelling response: “The world can be an overwhelming place, so I help people connect to each other by telling stories as a journalist as a playwright.”
Bloor believes that everyone, no matter their job or industry, is essentially a problem solver. So when she interviews people to help them discover their unique story, she’s also trying to find out the problems they’re particularly good at solving.
Use this tactic on yourself. What problems do you solve at work? And what makes you especially effective at doing so? Framing yourself as a problem-solver may trigger an instant reaction when you meet someone new. “I have that problem, too!” they could say. Figure out how to deliver your capabilities in a single sentence. For example, instead of saying “I’m a lawyer who specializes in X type of law,” you could say, “I think the biggest problem about the justice system is A. As an attorney who focuses on B, I’m helping find solutions through doing C.”
It’s often hard for people to see their own skills. “The thing you are fantastic at can be as natural to you as breathing, so you don’t value it,” says Bloor. If you’re having a difficult time identifying your talents, she suggests you turn to the people who know you well and ask them “What is it you see that I do well and that I’m unaware is really special?” You’ll generally find common themes or language in their responses, says Bloor, even if they’re people from different parts of your life.
Still stumped? Step into a time machine, and think back to your eight-year-old self. What were you great at during that age? According to Bloor, that special skill can often apply to your present and future selves and help you see how you’re different from everyone else. For example, when Bloor was eight, she had a great sense of direction and easily memorized routes while hiking with her father. That skill translated into her previous career of building software for companies — she could visualize 3D maps of software architecture.
Finding people that we connect with can be elusive, especially at work-related events. “I think a lot of the angst in the workplace and angst with each other is because we don’t talk about who we really are as people,” says Bloor. So, take a chance, open up in your opening remarks, and reveal something honest about yourself. Use phrases, such as “I’m really passionate about X” or “What excites me most about what I do is Y,” which can communicate your emotion and enthusiasm and prime others to respond in kind.
After you’ve crafted your opener, practice it on five people you know well. Then, a few days later, ask them ‘What do you remember most about my intro?” Their few-days-later response will tell you what is most memorable about your opener, what you could alter, and what you might try to lean into when meeting new people.
When you first start trying out a new way of introducing yourself, you’ll probably feel nervous. Bloor suggests prefacing it with, “I’ve just learned a new way of introducing myself and I’m experimenting with it. Can I try it out on you?” People love to be asked for their advice or input.
The truth is, it will always be easier to say the stilted “I’m job X at company Y,” stumble through small talk, and then move on to the next person and glass of wine. In addition, when you give a nontraditional introduction, you will inevitably run into some staid folks who don’t get it.
But Bloor urges people to persist. She recently coached a woman named Rumi, whose standard intro was “I’m a copywriter.” After the two women worked together, Rumi realized what her secret strength is: her ability to be the other person in her writing. What’s more, the process of crafting a new opener made Rumi realize that “the part of me that I am ashamed of — being the perpetual outsider — is the very place from which my bulletproof power springs forth.”
Like Rumi, you may find that coming up with an authentic, personal introduction leads to deeper revelations in your life. “We all want to learn and figure out why we matter on this planet and in this life,” says Bloor. “And it can start with being able to answer the question ‘What do you do?’ better.”
F I N D
A new and exciting way to share
Y O U
I hate horror films.
JUST MERCY
is a film based on a true story. . .
It is the worst of horror films
not because it could happen
but because it did happen;
And it’s made scarier more
frightful more
because it still is
h a p p e n i n g;
And the absolute most terrifying thing of all is
I AM A PART OF THE CAST. . .
Like a bad dream I want to wake up
but when I do,
I’m not only directing the film
but actually starring in it
AND ABSOLUTELY
DOING NOTHING ABOUT IT. . .
AND THOUGH IT MAY BE UP FOR COUNTLESS AWARDS
I FEAR NOT THE NOTORIETY
BUT THE HARSH REVIEWS
I SO RIGHTEOUSLY DESERVE. . .
WAIT. . .
What. . ?
Are you in the movie, too?
I only hope
that the
s i l e n c e
that finds me guilty
is over matched by the
radical compassion
I attempt to give
that
e x o n e r a t e s
me. . .
A M E N
When your Purpose
is over. . .
done. . .
through. . .
Are You. . .
over
done
through. . .?
Just because we once held
L I G H T
sported
D E C O R A T I O N S
carried
B L I N G
Held safely beneath us
not just expectations
but actual
G I F T S. . .
Did you ever feel like a
discarded
pushed- to- the- curb
never-to-be-used-again
Christmas Tree. . . ?
Psssssssssssssssssssssssst of the day:
The New
N E X T
is
N O W
The gifts once full of hope lying beneath you
are nothing compared to the gifts within you
HOW IS IT (IT IS HOW)
How is it (IT IS HOW)
that my steps
found yours walking towards me. . .
How is it (IT IS HOW)
that my outstretched arms
had yours reaching me. . .
How is it (IT IS HOW)
that my eyes sought you
but you saw me. . .
How is it (IT IS HOW)
that my darkness
found your light. . .
How is it
(IT IS HOW)
I wrote this poem shortly after reading
I wrote this poem shortly after pondering
Ada’s poem,
Ada Limón – 1976-
When the doctor suggested surgery
and a brace for all my youngest years,
my parents scrambled to take me
to massage therapy, deep tissue work,
osteopathy, and soon my crooked spine
unspooled a bit, I could breathe again,
and move more in a body unclouded
by pain. My mom would tell me to sing
songs to her the whole forty-five minute
drive to Middle Two Rock Road and forty-
five minutes back from physical therapy.
She’d say, even my voice sounded unfettered
by my spine afterward. So I sang and sang,
because I thought she liked it. I never
asked her what she gave up to drive me,
or how her day was before this chore. Today,
at her age, I was driving myself home from yet
another spine appointment, singing along
to some maudlin but solid song on the radio,
and I saw a mom take her raincoat off
and give it to her young daughter when
a storm took over the afternoon. My god,
I thought, my whole life I’ve been under her
raincoat thinking it was somehow a marvel
that I never got wet.
From The Carrying (Milkweed Editions, 2018) by Ada Limón. Copyright © 2018 by Ada Limón. Used with the permission of Milkweed Editions. milkweed.org.
Just who’s most responsible in keeping you from getting wet
Just who are you most responsible for keeping dry
HOW IS IT (IT IS HOW)
Sometimes a Starbucks
DRIVE THRU
is way more than a
STARBUCKS
DRIVE THRU. . .
And when it is
MAKE SURE YOU ARE IN THAT CAR
(especially the one right behind THE ONE). . .
It was something
that I not only began
but shared a little over a year ago
JUST BECAUSE. . ,
JUST BECAUSING
is when you do something anonymously for someone
who not only has no idea who has done something nice for them
but in no way can even begin to think about re-paying you
because they have not idea of who
JUST BECAUSE’D
t h e m. . .
After placing my order
I patiently waited to get my coffee and egg white bites
and after paying with my App
I told the Barista
I wanted to pay for the car behind me
and she told me
I really didn’t want to do it because
total was $33.76. . .
and when I told her that I was feeling especially
s e l f i s h
she told me that many people
THIS TIME OF THE YEAR
pay it backward
(for the car behind them)
but not at that price. . .
And when I put a $5.00 bill in her tip jar
I told her that she’s never thanked enough and how much I appreciated her taking care of all of us. . .
SO VERY CARING CATALYST of me, huh. . .
but the point is never so much what I do
so much as what I inspire others to do
THERE IS NO TIME
THAT IS NOT
THIS TIME OF THE YEAR. . .
When I went through the
DRIVE THRU
this afternoon
and paid it behind
The Barista
when I told him that I wanted to take care
of the car behind me
without blinking he stated
“That’ll be $63.05”
and when I gave him my iPhone
so that he could swipe my App
he said,
“Man, you were really going to pay THAT? I was just joking it;
It’s only $5.50 but I like your style.”
Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
The secret to having a great Holiday
(or an awesome day)
IS GIVING ONE
J U S T
B E C A U S E
It may cost you $33.76
but it won’t compare to what
you get in return. . .
JOIN ME