Your Best
M E M E N T O. . . :
Food
Clothes
Hats
Cars
Motorcycles
Bikes
Houses
Vacations
Smart Phones
Smarter TV’s
Socks
Shoes
Coats
Watches
Furniture
Beds
Blankets
Sheets
Pillows
Restaurants
Jobs
r e l a t i o n s h i p s
Who Cares - What Matters
Your Best
M E M E N T O. . . :
Food
Clothes
Hats
Cars
Motorcycles
Bikes
Houses
Vacations
Smart Phones
Smarter TV’s
Socks
Shoes
Coats
Watches
Furniture
Beds
Blankets
Sheets
Pillows
Restaurants
Jobs
r e l a t i o n s h i p s
Every year in
Louisville, KY
the first week of February
a group of nearly 1000 students
from all around the state of Kentucky
gather together each evening during the
K M E A Conference
to sing our great nation’s
National Anthem. . .
While I have never been at the
Louisville, KY Hyatt Regency Hotel
to witness this moment
I feel very much a part of it
even now
listening to it sung
almost as a
l u l l a b y. . .
As a Caring Catalyst
I am never much about
making political statements
or backing candidates
or politcal parties
or even espousing
governmental sentiments
so much as
working towards a
u n i t y
that
brings us together as
o n e
like never before. . .
W h e n
I hear something like this
I feel a little closer to
T H A T
o n e
that need not be a dream
any longer for
any
o n e. . .
You don’t have to see my hand
to know
it’s extended to join yours
to know
to bet our very lives
that we don’t have to agree
to be
o n e
and realize
it’s been a part of the
e q u a t i o n
to make
I T
o n e
a l l a l o n g!
Lots of Questions, huh. . .
Maybe none bigger
Maybe none more important
T H A N :
W H I C H O N E ?
If you could only choose just one of your P U R P O S E S
If you could only choose just one of your R E A S O N S
If you could only choose just one of your M E A N I N G S
If you could only choose just one of your D E S T I N I E S
WHICH ONE WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
What would be your criteria for choosing?
Would you go Simple. . .
Would you go Challenging. . .
Sitting on the Fence never got anyone much but a hole in their pants
and a sore R U M P. . .
Does your P L A N A
include the Possibilities
of O T H E R O P T I O N S
Minister
Chaplain
Officiant
Professional Speaker
Writer
Published Author
Counselor
Husband
Father
Grandfather
Son
Brother
Uncle
Friend
These are the roles that pop into my own head
and occupy my life
on a daily basis
and if I had to be
S I N G U L A R
and not be a
P L U R A L
which one would I pick. . .
not so much which one would I hone in on. . .
which ONE would I eliminate. . .
which ONE would I unravel
not only from my own multicolored Tapestry
but from the fabric of so many other lives
who have intermeshed with my own. . .
SHOULD I PUT IT TO A VOTE. . .
and just who are the proper Constituents
to the
U N I V E R S E o f C H U C K
Does the Sea
in all of it’s vastness
just lap the SHORE
O N C E
. . .which wave is the most important one
. . .which wave is the least of all the others
Life is never counted by Candles on a Cake. . .
but by M O M E N T S
M O M E N T S
that don’t compete with another to yell out
I AM THE GREATEST. . .
M O M E N T S
that are threads to the
MOSAIC OF ME
We don’t have to CHOOSE
WE JUST HAVE TO UTILIZE
and the best part:
You don’t have to PICK PLURAL
you just have to simply embrace it. . .
HAPPINESS IS IN YOUR HANDS
to h o l d
to s h a r e
to r e c o g n i z e
Sometimes. . .
The biggest
M I S S — T A K E
is waiting for the L I G H T
to TURN ON
without ever recognizing
it’s never been
O F F
. . .It’s not enough to embrace
YOUR PLURALITY. . .
S H A R E I T
(o f t e n)
in all of It’s
W A Y S
Ever feel insignificant?
Ever feel as insignificant as a
F E R RU L E. . .
You know. . .
a F E R R U L E:
noun/fer – rule\’fer-el, fe-rel\
: A ring or a cap usually of metal put around a slender shaft (such as a cane or a tool handle) to strengthen it or prevent splitting;
: A usually metal sleeve used especially for joining or binding one part to another (such as pipe sections or the bristles and handle of a brush)
fer-ruled \fe-eld, fe-reld\ adjective
ORIGIN:
alteration of Middle English virole, from the Latin viriola, bracelet, of Celtic origin; akin to Old Irish fair oblique.
FIRST KNOWN USE: 1611
Ever feel like a FERRULE
or even a basket full of them. . .
Seriously. . .
did you even know that band around a pencil
was ever really called a FERRULE
or for that matter, even had a name?
Talk about INSIGNIFICANCE. . .
TALK ABOUT FEELING INSIGNIFICANCE
or having it personified
B U T
that’s not
Y O U. . .
I F
the Ferrule
has a purpose
of being a metal band
that cinch around the bases
of erasers
and it actually has a name
a distinct purpose
how in our wildest imaginations
and unleashed understandings
can we fathom
N O T
having a purpose
having a menaing
having a destiny
having a reason
So get at I T
Isn’t that the ONE thing that makes us severely
S I G N I F I C A N T
that YOU are actually not just redirectable
but utterly RE-DEFINABLE
YOU get instant DO-OVER’S
of yourself any time
Y O U C H O O S E. . .
and more:
YOU are a SPARK
WHO is utterly inextinguishable
setting off bonfires in others
. . .that’s SIGNIFICANT
and more. . .
uhhhhhhhh. . .
much more than a shiny band of metal securing an eraser to a pencil
and more. . .
The greatest thing about each one of us is that
A L I F E T I M E
can not only be lived in
A M O M E N T
but a L I F E
can forever be changed in that very moment:
S I G N I F I C A N T
and more. . .
I N S I G N I F I C A N T
O R
S I G N I F I C A N T. . .
not even a thought. . .
and then again. . .
much more a mere concept:
The Significance of YOU
H A V E Y O U ?
Have you ever been asleep and actually having a very vivid dream
that you can actually wake yourself ?
. . .and really d i d ?
I was at an old, run down country home with the only thing worse than the cracked, paint-chipped exterior being the bare, unkept inside.
I was in the bedroom with a bare-lamp-shadeless bulb flickering on and off. I was talking on my cell phone and there was a knock at the front door.
Who would be knocking at the front door of this old, out in the middle of no where farm house?
I answered the door and there was an older, bigger man in big overalls and he was trying to come in; I walked out with him on the porch and stood with him on the porch.
He asked me about the “MUD BUGS” that were flying around and sticking to the string door. And before I could answer him, there was a policeman that came from around the side of the house and he asked me if “OVER-ALLS” was bothering me. . .And before I could answer him there was a large number of men with guns who came around from the other side of the house where there were a bunch of trees and bushes. The police officer had his back to them and didn’t see them coming toward all of us.
THIS WAS NOT GOING TO END WELL
. . .I wasn’t going to have any of this.
Even before I yelled to the Officer to look out
I DECIDED TO WAKE UP !
and I DID
My heart was pounding and I was sweaty and a little out of breath but
I WAS AWAKE
Has that ever happened to you?
The Dream doesn’t haunt me.
I didn’t go back to sleep very shortly after that and began where it left off. . .
I slept great the rest of the night.
But I am still haunted. . .
No. . .
Not by the meaningless, somewhat puzzling, a little scary dream. . .
but more. . .
by the
D R E A M S
the many. . .
the very, very, m a n y
d r e a m s
I have;
EYES WIDE OPEN
intentionally. . .
on purpose. . .
with full knowledge. . .
awakened myself from
heart still pounding,
sweating,
a little out of breath
as I ran away from them
and never went back to
and seemingly lived
happily ever after. . .
THAT HAUNTS ME !
You. . . ?
YOU EVER HAVE THOSE AWAKENED KIND OF DREAMS ?
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . .
I don’t want to wake you . . .
(I hope no one else does, either).
T R U T H ?
I’m not a big fan of Burger King. . .
T R U T H ?
I’ve got a sudden urge to begin to visit ONE
a little more frequently. . .
The Power of Advertising?
Nah. . .
The Power of Shame
I very likely would intercede
in the bullying of my burger
absolutely less likely to
NOT GET INVOLVED IN WHAT’S NOT MY BUSINESS
is that the proper/easy way
to avoid
B U L L Y I N G
if it knocks on my back porch screen door
but not necessarily my front door?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm of the Day:
I spoke ashamedly honest about
standing up what I’d do if you’d bully my burger
and what I most likely wouldn’t do if it were some kids messing with another
So UN-Caring Catalyst of me, huh. . .
IT DOESN’T MATTER
. . .what does is
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ?
Pass the Ketchup
and oh yeah. . .
T H E S A L T
(I obviously, e m b a r r a s i n g l y lack)
I was in between services recently and stopped in the the library to
see if there were any good dollar books
that would look better in my library
or at least the side of my bed
instead of on their shelves. . .
As I was walking up the walk way, there was a little unhappy, crying boy who was coming out of the library. He was with his grandmother who was trying to calmly explained to him that they couldn’t take out any library books and movies this time, but he wasn’t having any of it. He sobbingly wanted to know why he couldn’t have his books like he always had in the past, especially now; she calmly was telling him about him going away with his parents and not being able to take the books back before he goes. . . .
When I walked in the Library there were a couple of ladies looking out the window as the grandmother, holding the crying boy’s hand, walked away.
I said he was a little upset and they picked up the script from there and put the scene in focus right before their exit by explaining that they are regulars, especially on STORY DAY.
“What book were you reading,” I asked?
Shel Silverstein’s, WHERE THE SIDEWALK ENDS
“Well. . .no wonder he was crying–that’s a good one,” I offered up.
I N V I T A T I O N
If you are a dreamer, come in,
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,
A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer. . .
If you’re a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin.
Come in!
Come in S.Silverstein
I went to the restroom and then began pursuing the tables lined with $1.00 a book sale; after picking up a few gems I was leaving the front door where I overheard one of the Librarians sigh,
“WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW A KID CRY BECAUSE HE WAS LEAVING LIBRARY WITHOUT BOOKS?”
It was my Hmmmmmmm of the Day and apparently
the question that hung in the air
and now ricochets around in my head. . .
N O W
when was the last time you can remember that wanted something
so desperately bad
that you actually cried. . .
you sobbed?
Was it yesterday?
Was it some 20. . .
30. . .
50 years or so?
Was it when you were a teenager?
Was it when you had your heart broken. . .
or broken again?
Was it when it your parents or grandparents said,
“N O”
or that you had to go
or couldn’t go someplace. . .
Was it when you wanted your favorite toy then. . .or now?
Was when it you were caught doing something you shouldn’t have been doing?
Was it when you were four or five,
coming out of the library
WITHOUT BOOKS?
W A N T T H A T
a g a i n
and you can find the secret
to life and the living of it. . .
LISTEN TO THE MUSTN’TS
Listen to the MUSTN’TS, child,
Listen to the DON’TS
Listen to the SHOULDN’TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON’TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me–
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be. S. Silverstein
‘When was the last time you’ve seen a kid cry
because he was leaving the library without any books?’
Just a few weeks ago for me when I got
l i b r a r y ‘ d
going into a Library
to get something that a library
was never meant to be known for
. . .and every time I’ve looked in the mirror since
and slowly,
very,
very
slowly re-read
Shel Silverstein’s, WHERE THE SIDEWALK ENDS
Y o u ?
T R U E O R F A L S E:
Your Kindness is more of a NOUN
than a V E R B. . .
T R U E O R F A L S E :
Your Kindness is more of an ACT
than a W O R D. . .
T R U E O R F A L S E :
Your Kindness is more FICTION
than F A C T
D O E S K I N D N E S S W O R K. . .
is it effective. . .
does it make a difference in
Earthquakes
Hurricanes
Wildfires
Mass Shootings. . .
T R U T H:
“It’s kind of like weight training, we found that people can actually build up their compassion ‘muscle’ and respond to others’ suffering with care and a desire to help.” DR. RITCHIE DAVIDSON , UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN
The positive effects of kindness are experienced in the brain of everyone who witnessed the act, improving their mood and making them significantly more likely to “pay it forward.” This means one good deed in a crowded area can create a domino effect and improve the day of dozens of people!
Witnessing acts of kindness produces oxytocin, occasionally referred to as the ‘love hormone’ which aids in lowering blood pressure and improving our overall heart-health. Oxytocin also increases our self-esteem and optimism, which is extra helpful when we’re in anxious or shy in a social situation.
“About half of participants in one study reported that they feel stronger and more energetic after helping others; many also reported feeling calmer and less depressed, with increased feelings of self-worth” CHRISTINE CARTER, UC BERKELEY, GREATER GOOD SCIENCE CENTER
A 2010 Harvard Business School survey of happiness in 136 countries found that people who are altruistic—in this case, people who were generous financially, such as with charitable donations—were happiest overall.
“People who volunteer tend to experience fewer aches and pains. Giving help to others protects overall health twice as much as aspirin protects against heart disease. People 55 and older who volunteer for two or more organizations have an impressive 44% lower likelihood of dying early, and that’s after sifting out every other contributing factor, including physical health, exercise, gender, habits like smoking, marital status and many more. This is a stronger effect than exercising four times a week or going to church.” CHRISTINE CARTER, AUTHOR, “RAISING HAPPINESS; IN PURSUIT OF JOYFUL KIDS AND HAPPIER PARENTS”
According to research from Emory University, when you are kind to another person, your brain’s pleasure and reward centers light up, as if you were the recipient of the good deed—not the giver. This phenomenon is called the “helper’s high.”
Like most medical antidepressants, kindness stimulates the production of serotonin. This feel-good chemical heals your wounds, calms you down, and makes you happy!
Engaging in acts of kindness produces endorphins—the brain’s natural painkiller!
Perpetually kind people have 23% less cortisol (the stress hormone) and age slower than the average population!
A group of highly anxious individuals performed at least six acts of kindness a week. After one month, there was a significant increase in positive moods, relationship satisfaction and a decrease in social avoidance in socially anxious individuals. UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIA STUDY
Stephen Post of Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine found that when we give of ourselves, everything from life satisfaction to self-realization and physical health is significantly improved. Mortality is delayed, depression is reduced and well-being and good fortune are increased.
Committing acts of kindness lowers blood pressure. According to Dr. David R. Hamilton, acts of kindness create emotional warmth, which releases a hormone known as oxytocin. Oxytocin causes the release of a chemical called nitric oxide, which dilates the blood vessels. This reduces blood pressure and, therefore, oxytocin is known as a “cardioprotective” hormone. It protects the heart by lowering blood pressure.
This may be the easiest bottom line ever. . .
in a time
in a place
in a situation
where it’s most needed:
O U R N O W :
Our kindness doesn’t have to
I G N I T E
The World
It just has to illuminate
W H E R E W E A R E
Here’s a Simple Caring Catalyst’s Rule:
Whenever you’ve been kind enough
BE KINDER STILL
We have forgotten how to be kids, huh?
Wouldn’t it be great
if there was a Charter School that
all adults
were mandated to attend
O F T E N
to learn how to be a kid again
or merely stay a child
or to dare be a child. . .
Kids would be teachers
and we’d all major in
R E C E S S
We’d learn their math
(That 1 + 1 = way more than two)
we’d learn their language
we’d learn their dream power
we’d learn their art techniques
we’d sing their kind of music
we’d have lunch time of ice-cream and cotton candy for a day
we’d major in mud puddle jumping
J U S T B E C A U S E
like Miss Emma
my colleague, Rachel’s daughter
who found pure joy
not by walking the zoo and seeing all of the animals
but finding a puddle shortly after a rain storm
and being ALLOWED by mom
to jump away happily. . .
ahhhhh. . .
to jump untethered in a mud puddle
or to go fishing in it and expect so much to catch fish
so much so
that you actually bring the tartar sauce along. . .
Pablo Picasso was right, wasn’t he:
“EVERYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE IS REAL; EVERY CHILD IS AN ARTIST, THE PROBLEM IS HOW TO REMAIN AN ARTIST ONCE HE GROWS UP.”
This past weekend I became a child again. . .
but it was even more momentarily
than my several firsts go throughs. . .
We visited our daughter Zoe, our son-in-law Mark and our
granddaughter, Evey . . .
. . .literally moments before we were leaving
Eve forget to hold on to a coffee table and took
6-8 unassisted steps
HER FIRSTS
and made us feel like we were taking our
First few steps. . .
my 62 year old heart
beat excitedly younger. . .
Some 12 hours later
a large part of our family gathered together
to celebrate my dad’s Birthday
We sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY
ate cake, cupcakes, Birthday potluck foods
and celebrated that
L I F E
is never made up from how many Candles are found on a Cake
so much as
M O M E N T S
. . .m o m e n t s
that aren’t defined by any age
so much as the endless child inside of us
desperately fighting to simply remain
a c h i l d
reaching for a hand to hold
a dream to imagine
a song to sing
a jingle to dance
a food to eat
a picture to create
and yes. . .
a puddle to jump into
again and again and again and. . .
Just in time to jump into a pile of leaves that begs never to be left alone
Life is filled with
F I R S T S T E P S
and D A N C I N G
our A-B-C’ S
like TOMORROW
and YESTERDAY
is our forever
T O D A Y
and that our best creations
are very next ones. . .
Now, that’s worth singing
H A P P Y B I R T H D AY
with the loud refrain of
O N E M O R E T I M E
Uhhhhhhh, if you know even a little bit about me. . ,
It’s that I adore Christmas. . .
Every year
Every Season
Every Month
Every Week
Every Day
Every Minute
Every Second
OF IT. . .
W H Y ?
Here’s a little Explanation:
When A N O T H E R
says something
better than you could ever
u t t e r
w r i t e
r e c i t e. . .
Give’em the Stage
and the Microphone
and most definitely,
T H E S P O T L I G H T
and don’t shut up
so much as really
L I S T E N :
This Henry van Dyke story is featured in our collection of Christmas Stories. and Short-Short Stories to read when you have five minutes to spare. You might enjoy his other works, The Other Wise Man and The First Christmas Tree
It is a good thing to observe Christmas day. The mere marking of times and seasons, when men agree to stop work and make merry together, is a wise and wholesome custom. It helps one to feel the supremacy of the common life over the individual life. It reminds a man to set his own little watch, now and then, by the great clock of humanity which runs on sun time.
But there is a better thing than the observance of Christmas day, and that is, keeping Christmas.
Are you willing to forget what you have done for other people, and to remember what other people have done for you; to ignore what the world owes you, and to think what you owe the world; to put your rights in the background, and your duties in the middle distance, and your chances to do a little more than your duty in the foreground; to see that your fellow-men are just as real as you are, and try to look behind their faces to their hearts, hungry for joy; to own that probably the only good reason for your existence is not what you are going to get out of life, but what you are going to give to life; to close your book of complaints against the management of the universe, and look around you for a place where you can sow a few seeds of happiness–are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.
Are you willing to stoop down and consider the needs and the desires of little children; to remember the weakness and loneliness of people who are growing old; to stop asking how much your friends love you, and ask yourself whether you love them enough; to bear in mind the things that other people have to bear on their hearts; to try to understand what those who live in the same house with you really want, without waiting for them to tell you; to trim your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke, and to carry it in front so that your shadow will fall behind you; to make a grave for your ugly thoughts, and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open–are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.
Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world–stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death–and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas.
And if you keep it for a day, why not always?
But you can never keep it alone.
L I S T E N :