I was never
an academic all-star;
I most likely
was a classic undiagnosed ADHD
Kid who was often classified as a
“SMART KID WHO CAN’T SEEM TO STAY FOCUSED”
during parent/teacher conference
who excelled with
anything to do with
Reading
and nothing to do with
Math. . .
Who
was often writing poetry
and putting together lyrical phrases
that I wrote in the margins of books
or large lined notebooks
that made me look like
I was ferociously
taking notes. . .
I was often motivated to do well in school
so I could play sports
and not to embarrass my
school teaching, coaching dad
and school secretary mom
. . .but it always felt
foreign
distant
and far from a home
my heart beat to reside
UNLESS
I had
THOSE
teachers
who didn’t
look to grade
penmanship
sentence structure
or what I could recite back
after nights of intense memorization. . .
THOSE TEACHERS
that wanted a piece of my mind
and a part of my heart
by inspiring me
with theirs;
who challenged me to read
WHAT WASN’T
on the syllabus
but more in my dreams;
IT
was the one thing that shaped me then
and still drives me now
T H I S
EDUCATION OF THE HEART
which you never graduate
nor receive a degree
but something far
F A R
more important:
A DEEPLY MEANINGFUL LIFE
. . .PAY ATTENTION, CLASS
The Lectures have ended
but the Teaching
is in a never-ending
S E S S I O N
and it’ll not only assure
that your heart will beat differently
IT WILL GUARANTEE
you’ll cause other hearts
to be
forever significantly better
THIS
Education of the Heart
NOT by the Book
THIS BOOK
is about 4 years old. . .
Someone gifted it to me and I have never fully read it through;
I’ve thumbed through it,
read it’s
CONTENTS
page and
the following before putting it on
THAT SHELF
for further reading
and I picked it up over these past few days and read it’s own
DESCRIPTION:
Would you like to change the world but feel like there’s nothing you can do? What if you discovered you could change everything with just five breaths and one kind thought? Want to help heal America? Our planet? The Global Kindness Revolution is the way forward. You don’t even have to get out of bed to join. You only need to take five breaths and think a kind thought, each day, at noon. Kindness at Noon, Everyday, Everywhere is a call to action to all, regardless of beliefs, background or religion, who are craving a kinder, gentler world.
This is a guide to exploring those aspects of ourselves we’re unaware of, such as suppressed anger and racism, that keep us in the dark and prevent us from embracing our neighbor, or what we perceive as the “other.” Scientists call the primitive part of our brains the “lizard” brain from the times when we hunted dinosaurs. Now, in this tumultuous era where viciousness and apathy fills the airwaves, The Global Kindness Revolution aims to elevate our collective mindset, to nurture the “Kind Mind” where empathy and compassion are on automatic.
The book provides exercises and guidance for incorporating a kindness lifestyle. It includes practices to enhance our connection with Mother Earth, and perspectives on what it means to be kind to oneself. It drills down into social issues that impact us individually and as a whole, and how we can navigate our social interactions with more compassion. It suggests ways to improve our personal relationships and our community, and how to maintain a healthy existence with the domination of technology.
The magic of this revolution is its global appeal calling on millions around the world to pause for Kindness at Noon. More are joining the cause to diminish the violence, racism and meanness humanity has continuously been plagued with. What began as a simple experiment in a Pennsylvania prison has expanded into a global initiative making a mark in countries like Nepal, Afghanistan and Egypt, directly addressing the refugee crisis, violence against women, and other injustices in dire need of change.
Kindness at Noon, Everyday, Everywhere. Join us!
SOUNDS GOOD,
r i g h t. . . ?
A N D
nothing against this fine book
and the exercises it implores us to use,
B U T
now’s not the time for words
or books
filled with them. . .
WE ARE
far past needing books about
h e a l i n g
VIOLENCE
RACISM
MEANNESS
but
right on time about
B E I N G
A Volume of
PEACE
ACCEPTANCE
KINDNESS
. . .funny, huh,
THESE TOO, ARE WORDS. . .
and we need to not only be carriers of
SUCH LOVE
but
INFESTERS OF THIS LOVE
that knows
NO
antidote or vaccine
. . .A time
to stop drawing lines in the sand
to be sided against
or straddled
BUT CREATORS OF CIRCLES
that include
and never
e x c l u d e
US ALL
This is to be
A Caring Catalyst
not words
not ideals
not experiments
not wishes
not hopes
not philosophies
BUT A LIVE
ACTIVE
Circle making inclusive
FORCE
one compassionately kind act at at time
(UNCONDITIONALLY)
For Now. . .
It’s not a time to do things by
THE BOOK
and if words be necessary at all. . .
May it be
that we are all more
ADJECTIVES
and way less
NOUNS
Behind the Mask
I have said for a long time now
the only day we celebrate 365 days a year
or for that matter;
E N D L E S S L Y
is Halloween
and now for the past few months
(literally and figuratively)
it feels worse than
Halloween gone
Bill Murray’s GROUNDHOG’S DAY
which makes us all begin to
wonder:
What We Lose When We Hide Our Smiles Behind a Mask
Illustration by Nathalie Lees for TIMEIDEASBY; It seems that we may not be the only ones
W O N D E R I N G
BELINDA LUSCOMBE is an editor-at-large at TIME and the author of Marriageology: The Art and Science of Staying Together has pondered a few of these thoughts as well. . .
Miss Belinda shares, “I miss smiling. I don’t miss it in the inspirational poster “the whole world smiles with me” way. I don’t miss it, as another poster says, because I can no longer “intimidate those who wish to destroy me.” I don’t miss it because “happiness looks gorgeous on me,” although I did put in three very formative years of hard time in the orthodontia trenches–20 months of braces and six retainers–so it looks at least marginally better than it used to. . . .”
I miss smiling because it’s one of the handiest utensils in the communication drawer and my mask has locked it away. Yes, it’s just a facial expression: a deployment of the zygomaticus muscles, sometimes authentic, sometimes a placeholder because the real emotion we’re feeling is best not expressed. But as humans, we learn at the age of approximately 42 days that smiling is a useful way of getting people to feel good about themselves and therefore us. (The “world smiles with you” thing actually works–for babies.)
We continue to refine the way we use that smile to communicate information–from “you’re here!” to “you’re cute” to “you’re not meant to take that seriously, although you also kind of are”–until we no longer have teeth. And now, suddenly, those skills, all that practice, are useless. We have lost our favorite communication gizmo just when we need more ways to connect than ever.
Trying to interact with other humans without being able to smile is the facial equivalent of communicating via text message; it’s easy to be misunderstood. Your expression and words lack context. People wonder: Are you wincing at me? Are you grinding your jaw? Do you just have a lot of crow’s-feet? Was what you said an insult or a joke?
According to Paula Niedenthal, a psychologist who heads up the Niedenthal Emotions Lab at the University of Wisconsin–Madison and has studied facial expression extensively, there are three types of smiles: those that express pleasure at a reward or surprise, like when you get to see your friends in person after a prolonged separation (soon, please); those that convey a desire to be friendly, or at least non-threatening, which she calls smiles of affiliation; and those that show dominance, like the one Dirty Harry gives when he asks a certain punk if he feels lucky.
Her studies have shown that it’s harder to tell the difference between affiliative smiles and dominant ones if you can’t see the lower half of the face. In those situations, people have to rely on other clues. She gives the example of walking a dog that suddenly barks at a passerby. A quick look at an unmasked person’s face will confirm whether the passerby is smiling because he thinks he’s much better with his dog than you are or smiling because his dog is also occasionally silly. Behind a mask, this distinction is not so clear.
Niedenthal predicts that as mask use stretches on, people may rely more on the context of the situation to tell them how to interpret an interaction. “They will imagine that the context confers a reaction that is obvious, which of course will get everybody into a lot of trouble, because people in our culture respond with high variability to the same context,” she says.
BUT I have tried to compensate
for the communication gap by enhancing my other gestures. Upon approaching strangers in the street, I want to let them know that I am harmless and wish them well. In hard times, this message feels particularly urgent. Not being able to smile at them has forced me to wave or do a weird fighter-pilot-style salute. If I’m pulling aside to let them pass and can no longer offer an encouraging “you first” smile, I am reduced to airport-marshal gesticulations, which are about as effective as talking more loudly to someone whose language you don’t speak.
But it’s not just the recipient who gains from a grin. Smiling affects the smiler too. Studies have shown that it enhances the mood that produced the expression and helps us recall happier times. “Facial expression is not just out-put from the brain but also feeds back to the brain and has some consequences for subjective experience,” says Niedenthal. “There is good evidence that smiling naturally has some effect on your ambient emotional state.” In other words, masks may be making us more morose.
It almost never helps a situation to tell people to smile, so I won’t, but I’m going to keep beaming, even if it can’t be seen and sometimes is not entirely authentic. A fake smile, after all, is often given with good intentions, just as a mask is sometimes worn not to hide but to protect.
And then there’s
Steve Wilson and The World Laughter Tour. . .
when I went to his two day workshop a few years ago
and became a Certified Laughter Leader
I still remember
one powerful lesson
that even a fake laugh
is a beneficial laugh;
a FAKE SMILE
still,
physiologically
is immensely beneficial
by relieving stress and enhancing
a calm, creative, good mood. . .
So here’s the deal:
(ESPECIALLY)
BEHIND THE MASK
the best way to assure a smile
IS TO
(CREATE)
GIVE ONE
Losing to WIN
Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
I HATE TO LOSE
I always have;
I’m not a sore loser;
a bad loser
but it has a way
of not just messing up my day
BUT DAYS. . .
In fact,
I’m so competitive
I’ll try and beat myself
trying to make it through a closing door
walking faster than I walked a route yesterday
doing one more thing than I feel is possible
YOU NAME IT
I’m ON IT. . .
B U T. . .
Gratitude Can Calm Our Urge to Compete with Others
Gratitude could help
(M E)
u s
get through the pandemic without turning on each other,
S U G G E S T S
a new study. . .
JILL SUTTIE, a freelance journalist sort of brought things to light during a fairly dark time for us. In the midst of the coronavirus outbreak, we are seeing many acts of kindness and even heroism. Neighbors look out for one another by buying groceries or sing songs together. When doctors, nurses, and paramedics ran out of masks, people donated or sewed new ones.
But not all people act kindly when feeling threatened. There are those who hoard medical supplies or refuse to stay physically distant from others. Sadly, some become more selfish when they think we’re competing against each other for survival.
How can we avoid reacting in self-serving or vindictive ways during the pandemic? A new study suggests that practicing a little gratitude may be useful.
In this study, participants from the National University of Singapore played the “Trucking Game”—a research tool that measures how people bargain or cooperate in conflict situations. In the game, players try to get from point A to B as quickly as possible, while opponents can assist or block players at will. The game is over when both players reach their end point.
Before playing the game, some participants were asked to write about a situation that made them feel grateful, while others recalled events that brought them joy or were emotionally neutral (like their daily routine). When it came time for participants to play the game, they didn’t know the other player wasn’t a real person but a set of preprogrammed, highly competitive moves.
Participants had opportunities in the game to thwart the other player by blocking routes along the way or not stepping aside to let them pass, and many of the participants did so when faced with a competitive opponent. However, those induced to feel gratitude were much less likely to block their opponent’s progress than those who’d been primed to feel joy or no particular emotion.
While not entirely surprised by these findings, study coauthor Lile Jia was impressed by them—especially given how competition usually brings out our worst instincts.
“Showing that gratitude can ameliorate competitive impulses in this setting speaks to the potency of this emotion in reducing undesired competition,” says Jia.
To further test these results, he and his colleagues set up another experiment, this time using a random group of Americans of various ages (instead of the original group of Singaporeans, to see how culture might affect results). Participants were told they would be paired with another player (though, actually, there was no other player) to compete in a moderately difficult and timed word game. Before playing the game, they were induced to feel either gratitude or a neutral emotion.
After playing the game—in which participants were always told they lost—the researchers showed them a narrative describing their opponent as either competitive or not very competitive. The idea was that losing to a very competitive person might make participants feel more upset about losing and make them want to punish their opponent.
After “losing,” participants were told that their opponents would be entering another competition that involved solving anagrams for a chance to win a cash prize. The participants could choose one of three clues to help their opponent solve the anagrams more quickly, with clues ranging from least helpful (“it starts with the letter P”) to most helpful (“it starts with the letter P and it’s an organ in your body”). Choosing less helpful clues was considered a form of vindictiveness.
Results showed that participants induced to feel gratitude were much more likely to give the most helpful clues than participants in a neutral mood. Even under circumstances where they might want revenge, people who felt grateful were less likely to be vindictive.
“Sabotaging their partner’s chance of winning a lottery did not directly benefit the participants, who had already been eliminated from the competition—yet this harmful impulse existed,” says Jia. “Fortunately, the impulse got weakened among those induced to feel grateful.”
Gratitude JournalCount your blessings and enjoy better health and happinessTry It Now
Why would gratitude reduce feelings of vindictiveness? Jia says it might be because grateful people are less selfish and show greater empathy toward others, in general. Given that people often respond to competition by becoming more competitive themselves—at the expense of others—it’s little wonder that gratitude might reduce this tendency.
Jia’s study adds to our understanding of the power of gratitude by showing how it helps people be kinder to others in unfavorable as well as favorable circumstances. This could have huge consequences when we are in situations where we may be tempted not to cooperate or to lash out at others—like during the current pandemic.
“In such threatening interactions, destructive behavioral cycles are easily established,” says Jia. “The present research underscores the potential of gratitude in stopping such destructive spirals.”
Jia points to other ways gratitude can help during the pandemic, too—by strengthening relationships and building a sense of community.
Research suggests that practicing gratitude helps people “gel,” he says, encouraging them to coordinate their actions toward a particular goal—something relevant to our current need to shelter in place. So long as cooperation is the norm in this situation, and grateful people don’t feel that they are being taken advantage of, encouraging more gratitude is all to the (greater) good.
Jia’s research reinforces the importance of practicing gratitude as we go through this pandemic. Not only will it help us be more cooperative, it’s good for our personal well-being, too—protecting our mental health and making us feel more positive and optimistic about the future.
“If we take a broader look at the benefits of gratitude, then the argument for encouraging feeling more gratitude becomes all the stronger,” says Jia.
Ohhhhhhh yesssss
I’m competitive
and most would never see or even imagine
that inner
F I G H T
always raging me
UNLESS THEY NOTICE
some of the good I attempt
(THIS IS MY BIGGEST DAILY COMPETITIVE EVENT)
just to be a little
better than the day
the afternoon
the morning before
the next one
and even when
I LOSE
. . .WE WIN
READY. . .
SET. . .
LET’S GO
(and never stop)
OAT’ed UP
I shared this over three years ago under much different circumstances;
C I R C U M S T A N C E S
that could have never have been imagined
and far from understood
C I R C U M A T A N C E S
that still
even at our most current moment
are difficult to imagine
and feel far from being understood. . .
B U T
Maybe there’s another
a different way
of seeing
I T :
There is sowing your oats
and then there is serving them,
eating them
and digesting
all the goodness
that can’t begin to fit on a spoon,
in a bowl
or even on a cafeteria tray
or a table. . .
EAT UP!
and make a NOTE
of BEING
THE GOOD YOU MAKE
A Bad Burn
Last week during the mid-week blog
we took a look at
CAUTION FATIGUE
and the other side of
T H A T
Coin might be
How to Avoid Burnout in the Middle of a Pandemic
Rachel Fairbank, freelance journalist tried to extinguish something that’s very real over these past several weeks and especially, ongoing.
Burnout is defined as a state of emotional, mental and physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged stress. Given the nonstop barrage of stressors these past few months, many of us are probably well on our way to developing burnout, if we aren’t there already.
“Burnout is chronic stress gone awry,” says Sheryl Ziegler, a psychologist and author of the book “Mommy Burnout: How to Reclaim Your Life and Raise Healthier Children in the Process.”
Stages of burnout
The stages of burnout include a honeymoon phase, in which a person devotes extra time and energy to dealing with their stress; followed by mitigation strategies, when a person is crankier than usual but is still trying to juggle everything; followed by chronic stress, a point when people have an even harder time coping and often find ways to detach themselves from others; and finally, by full-blown burnout.
If these stages sound familiar, well, at least you’re not alone. As a society, we seem to be on a path to burnout together. We started in those ambitious first few weeks with big plans: We were going to learn how to bake and knit! After a few weeks of trying to juggle quarantine and work from home and homeschooling and job loss. Now we all seem to be stuck in a phase of chronic stress, either lashing out at the people around us or detaching from the world at large
“A lot of people are in the second and third stages right now,” Ziegler says. “We are all here.”
That said, there are strategies that we can employ, even in an era of physical distancing and omnipresent fears about our health and safety. These are some of Ziegler’s recommendations for avoiding burnout during a pandemic.
Know the signs of burnout
“Knowing the signs of burnout are really important,” Ziegler says. What stage you might be in will vary, and it’ll look a little bit different for everyone. People who are burned out are often detached from others, feel drained and unable to cope, and lack their usual energy. They also often experience physical symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches.
As Ziegler points out, it’s normal to be stressed and anxious, given everything that is going on. But just because this stress is understandable doesn’t mean we can’t find ways to cope.
Stay connected with others
We may have to practice physical distancing, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be creative about staying connected with others. When it comes to preventing burnout, strong social connections are key.
As Ziegler suggests, in addition to friends and families, lean on online communities that might share some of your concerns. Whatever your situation is, whatever your struggles are, there are people out there who can relate. Make sure to prioritize these connections, as they will help buffer you from burnout. How to Disconnect From Social Media but Stay Connected to the World
Social media is terrible, and social media is amazing. It inundates us with panic-inducing news and paralyzes us.
Shift your standards
It is okay to cut down on the number of hours of school each day or to say no to extra job duties at work. As Ziegler points out, as much as we want to do everything, there just aren’t enough hours in the day. It’s important to be selective about what we take on as well as practical about what we can accomplish, given our constraints.
Set boundaries for yourself
Boundaries are really important, especially in these times. Boundaries can help make your workload and home life a little bit more manageable. It’s okay to say no to things, it’s okay to adjust your expectations, and it’s okay to prioritize what’s most important.
Schedule time for yourself
Don’t feel guilty about it, either. If we put a meeting on our calendars, we do everything we can to make sure we show up to it. Caring for yourself, in whatever form that takes, is just as important; in fact, CALENDAR IT; put a self-care time/date on the calendar and don’t break it!
“Every day, schedule time for yourself,” Ziegler says. “When we are under stress, we don’t tend to squeeze in healthy things for ourselves.”
So carve out a time for yourself. Calendar it and give that time as much priority as a work responsibility. Your mental health and wellbeing is important. You Need to Walk Outside Every Day
In a time when our fitness options are limited, don’t discount the benefits of walking. Walking doesn’t have to be done in large increments, just steady, regular ongoing times of walking.
Have a change of environment
Even small changes of environment can help keep us from feeling overwhelmed. This could be as simple as moving from the living room to kitchen or going for a short walk around the block. Given that we are all at home all the time now, a small change of environment will go a long way toward helping us feel mentally refreshed.
Move your body
As Ziegler points out, there’s a big connection between staying active and maintaining good mental health.
“People have to remember working out is good for your mental thoughts,” Ziegler says. As we are a lot more sedentary than usual, moving can help us stave off some of the effects of abrupt changes in our routines.
Even if you only have ten minutes, it’s worth fitting in a few calisthenics or a quick walk.
Practice mindfulness with your diet
Being at home all day while stressed means a lot more snacking and a lot more unhealthy foods. Unfortunately, although in the short term, reaching for a bag of chips or a carton of ice cream feels good, when it comes to balancing stress, these snacks hurt more than they help. Being mindful about what you are eating will help in the long run.
Power naps are rejuvenating
If you have twenty minutes, consider taking a power nap to boost your energy and productivity. Find a quiet spot, set the alarm and do your best to relax. If it’s hard, Ziegler points out that power napping is something that gets easier with practice.
Early afternoon, when your concentration and ability to focus is suffering, is a good time for a power nap. Twenty minutes is the sweet spot, as 30-60 minutes can leave you feeling more tired than when you fell asleep. Of course, if you’ve got 90 minutes for a full nap, that also works, but that’s harder to carve out of your schedule. I’m a huge 10-20 minute cat-napper.
Notice your words
Words have a way of becoming reality. “We have to notice our words,” Ziegler says. Allow yourself to vent, allow yourself to release all your fears and worries, but then find a way to pivot and channel your fears and worries into something productive.
A side hustle can help you feel in control
If you are worried about your job security—or if you have been laid off—developing a side hustle can be a productive way to pick up new skills while also giving you a way to regain control over your situation.
Now is the time to think about what other skills you have you can use to your advantage. If nothing else, this will help you regain a sense of purpose, which is key to weathering periods of potential burnout. For years I’ve had a job application from STARBUCKS and when people see it they ask me, “Are you looking for another job?” I tell them ‘No, but it’s powerful to know I have choices. Today, I CHOOSE to work here, but I have other options.”
BOOM–talk about FREEDOM. . .Instant Burnout Extinguisher.
List your fears
There are so many fears and anxieties in the world right now, and for good reason. Instead of bottling up them all up, Ziegler suggests listing them all out and then—and this is the key part—coming up with strategies for how you would cope if the worst happened.
“Give yourself your moment,” Ziegler says. “Then, stop, and make a plan around it.”
Are you afraid of losing your job? Not being able to pay rent? Getting sick and needing someone to care for your children? Name these fears, then start making plans. Just the act of thinking through them will help your regain a sense of perspective and control.
Right now, the world is a scary and stressful place. There is no avoiding it. However, even in the middle of all these worries and anxieties, there are still actions we can take to help mitigate the worst effects. Adjust your expectations, carve out time for yourself and do whatever is in your power to preserve your sanity for the long run. Because it’s going to be a long run.
Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
We all know where to get it. . .
B U T
we don’t always take the time to actually go out and
GET IT!
VISION
We are way beyond the
SURREAL
aren’t we. . . ?
For the last 7 weeks we have had it put upon us to do
The New,
N E W
and it’s done everything it can
to not just cripple us
but destroy us
by merely
SOCIALLY DISTANCING US. . .
Have you ever felt like you are just coasting through life and missing out on becoming the person you were destined to be
especially now in this
UN-Normal, NORMAL?
Or have you felt like you’re trying your hardest to live up to your greatest potential — to make a difference – to live out those dreams in your heart that seems now to forever be beating differently. . . ?
But something keeps getting in your way
Holding you back
Road blocking you. . .
This can be
DE- Couraging. . .
Somewhere along the way we might lose sight and motivation to pursue what really makes us happy. . .
we’re lighting our Candle
only to have it immediately
s n u f f e d
We might resign ourselves to being okay with just getting by in life
And worst
accepting that some people
get to live their dreams
as we get robbed of our
V I S I O N
Sometimes the weight of our daily lives can deter us
from taking the first step towards manifesting our heart’s desires
Towards living a life of abundance.
And towards truly living up to our greatest potential. . .
While that might sound pretty heavy – today’s video
isn’t. . .
I saw it years ago
but the perspective has all changed
and so has my
V I S I O N
I’ve lived them on this journey in being of service to you. Following our dreams doesn’t come easy. It comes with the price of hardship and challenge. . .
Fortunately, in just 380 seconds of this video you can learn what each and every truly successful person has done to elevate themselves from the hardships up to living their dreams. 🙂
Now here’s a tough question…
When you look in the mirror, what do you see?
The way we look at ourselves also reflects how we interpret life. The way we think about ourselves shapes how we respond to life.
No matter where we begin, the next step in our journey of living our dreams starts inside each and every one of us.
And what keeps us going when times get hard and it seems like our heart’s dreams are merely that. . .
just dreams?
W H Y
Dream only when you sleep
. . .If you’re only dreaming when you’re asleep
you’ll never have vision;
BE THE PRIMARY PROOF
of it. . .
Feeling IT
(You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.)
“When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting and less scary.” ~Fred Rogers
If you are a human on earth at the moment, you’re likely feeling the uncertainty and anxiety of living in the time of a pandemic. It’s not something we have seen before in our lifetime, so every step is a new one, and the end is unknown and nowhere in sight.
Everyone is coping in their own way. Some are fearful and anxious right now. Others insist on staying on the positive side. Still others are in denial and perhaps will feel the emotional effects later or when it hits their area. Or, more commonly it seems, we have some combination of all three at various times throughout the same day.
It’s all normal. . .
Until it’s not
I was minding my own business Monday night
when the news slapped me across the face
and alerted me about Dr. Lorna Breen, a front line New York City ER Doctor who had to not only deal with the COVID-19
but herself was infected and had recently recovered from it
and had just started back to work
before being sent back home to Virginia
to recover further with her family. . .
Dr. Breen, 49, did not have a history of mental illness, her father said. But he said that when he last spoke with her, she seemed detached, and he could tell something was wrong. She had described to him an onslaught of patients who were dying before they could even be taken out of ambulances.
“She was truly in the trenches of the front line,” he said.
He added: “Make sure she’s praised as a hero, because she was. She’s a casualty just as much as anyone else who has died.”
Listen,
I haven’t missed a day of work since we have been sheltered in place
but I haven’t knowingly dealt with any patient that has tested positive for COVID-19; I have witnessed thousands of deaths, some terribly filled with suffering but none with this disease who have had to not only endure dying but often without any one, let alone a cherished love one, by there sides.
I HAVE NO IDEA
no understanding
and no personal willingness to find out. . .
I have come to realize there is no right or wrong way to feel emotionally. Everyone is doing the best they can based on their own coping style and I have the awesome blessing of merely
c o m p a n i o n i n g
them
instead of trying to
FIX THEM
As a life-long recovering people-pleaser,
I used to try to talk people out of their feelings,
make them feel better
by taking over responsibility for their emotions. . .
Essentially,
I had to fix them to make myself feel better. . .
H E Y
People have a right to be angry.
Everyone has the right to feel anxious.
It is not my job to judge how anyone reacts to life. . .
It’s theirs. . .
It is my job to be a compassionate witness to their suffering and to my own suffering. . .
Every day
I go back to School to learn this lesson
It’s a hard subject to learn
(if it’s even a possible goal)
Life as an empath
One who feels intensely,
can sometimes feel you are being tossed around
in a tiny boat in an open ocean,
with no solid ground. . .
When some are looking for
GROUND ZERO
others are just looking for a piece of solid sod
to plant their feet. . .
It’s a terrible feeling.
So we struggle,
we fight,
we gasp for air,
and occasionally come up to breathe
for long enough to see
the sun setting on the horizon
and better still–
TO SEE IT RISE AGAIN
in the Morning
We wonder
don’t we
how other people seem to live easier,
to ride the waves smoother
and leave storms behind
as they head for calmer waters. . .
Until we find out that we see and feel things differently,
more acutely,
and have to learn the skills to row efficiently,
with the wind,
and in the preferred direction
without a broken compass. . .
It’s one thing to be a little boat
getting tossed about
and it’s another to do it without
a life jacket. . .
During this time
when the world can feel overwhelming
and too,
too much,
just take the time
to do a little check up
from the neck up
Notice where you are, who you are with, and what you are doing.
Breathe into the tight areas and imagine
breathing out your compassion
into the world.
If someone you are with is anxious, can you stay present and breathe?
If not, take a break and find compassion for yourself.
Notice what you are consuming—news, stressful or needy people, violence in movies or TV;
decrease and take lots of nature breaks. . .
It’s real easy to see
and to know
that we are all in this together
but it means nothing
unless we act like it
BEGINNING WITH OURSELVES
N O W
THAT IS
FEELING IT
BLINDING Sound of Silence
The Sound of Silence
was written by Paul Simon
and recorded by Simon & Garfunkel on June 15, 1965. . .
I was getting ready to turn 10. . .
The Sound of Silence
was covered by the heavy metal group
DISTURBED
on December 8, 2015
I was 60 years old. . .
Much as changed from
then to then to
N O W. . .
Very powerful video,
it was when I first saw and blogged it a few years ago
and now again
(as time has continued to flow away one grain by grain)
especially when paired with words attributed to Bill Gates:
“When you go out and see the empty streets, the empty stadium, empty train platforms, don’t say to yourself ‘my God it looks like the end of the world.’ What you are seeing is love in action. What you’re seeing in that negative space, is how much we do care for each other, for our grandparents, for our immuno-compromised brothers and sisters, for people we will never meet. People will lose jobs over this. Some will lose their businesses. And some will lose their lives. All the more reason to take a moment, when you’re out on your walk, on your way to the store, or just watching the news, to look into the emptiness and marvel at all that love. Let it fill you and sustain you. It isn’t the end of the world. Its the most remarkable act of global solidarity we may ever witness. It’s the reason the world will go on.’
Some say,
“WE HAVE A LOT OF TIME ON OUR HANDS”
some
“TIME is the never-ending beat in our Heart”
YOU?
Who would have every imagined
THE BLINDING
SOUND OF SILENCE
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
you can actually
feel it
(maybe too much)
MORE than JUST
I’ve always been captivated
by a
Mustard Seed
it’s size
it’s might
it’s story(S). . .
There is an old Chinese tale about a woman whose only son died. In her grief, she went to the holy man and asked, “What prayers, what magical incantations do you have to bring my son back to life?”
Instead of sending her away or reasoning with her, he said to her, “Fetch me a mustard seed from a home that has never known sorrow. We will use it to drive the sorrow out of your life.” The woman went off at once in search of that magical mustard seed.
She came first to a splendid mansion, knocked at the door, and said, “I am looking for a home that has never known sorrow. Is this such a place? It is very important to me.”
They told her, “You’ve certainly come to the wrong place,” and began to describe all the tragic things that recently had befallen them.
The woman said to herself, “Who is better able to help these poor, unfortunate people than I, who have had misfortune of my my own?”
She stayed to comfort them, then went on in search of a home that had never known sorrow. But wherever she turned, in hotels and in other places, she found one tale after another of sadness and misfortune.
The woman became so involved in helping others cope with their sorrows that she eventually let go of her own. She would later come to understand that it was the quest to find the magical mustard seed that drove away her suffering.
From a
T H A T
came
T H I S
which always makes it so much more than a
J U S T
How is it
the tiny
holds the infinite
tirelessly
endlessly
without us all bearing
its weight
Which be you
A mustard seed Farmer
A mustard seed Sower
A mustard seed Cultivater
A mustard seed Harvester
A mustard seed Distributor
A mustard seed Holder
There’s only one thing better
than the unnoticed
in the each of us
A mustard seed Giver
We
the tiny mustard seed
don’t need faith
its size
but the unblinded eye
to even fuzzily see
we’ve always possessed it
all ways
been possessed by it
without rarely harnessing it
How
how it is
the infinitesimal
holds the immense
held in the each of us
tirelessly
endlessly
if not
in each’s other
for an ever
Oh uprooter of trees
mover of mountains
making us more than
j u s t s
How
- « Previous Page
- 1
- …
- 42
- 43
- 44
- 45
- 46
- …
- 58
- Next Page »