The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

DON’T H E A R. . .L I S T E N

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I often play this short video when I do my talk/workshop on

D I D    Y O U    H E A R    W H A T    I    D I D N ‘ T    S A Y ?

It always gets laughs for the

O     B     V     I     O     U     S.         .         .

but then again,

The  O B V I O U S  is often funny–

W H E N    W E    N O T I C E    I T !

I love the 104 second video because of the one major question it begs me to ask others:

ARE YOU MORE OF A

H  E  A  R  E  R

L  I  S  T  E  N  E  R

F  I  X  E  R ?

It  also  begs  another  question  following  the  true  answer  to  the  first  one:

DO  YOU  MORE

R E S P O N D

R E A C T ?

Here’s the only lesson you’ll ever need to learn.         .         .

and it’s simple,

but few,

very few ever learn it–

F U L L Y

or

FOR LONG!

Ready?

C O M M U N I C A T I O N     I S     E V E R Y T H I N G !

When you  HEAR TO RESPOND,

It’s   NOT   Communicating,

it’s certainly not  Listening

and it doesn’t come close to  Fixing;

.           .           .it’s not Reacting or Replaying. . . .

It’s   i n s u l t i n g ! 

It’s not about the Nail.          .          .

it’s about the  H A M M E R–

Real Communication always

IS  that

I M P A C T F U L

DO IT OFTEN

or

U     N     D     E     R     S     T     A     N     D

it  really  is

N O T    A T    A L L .            .            .            .

Ugly Christmas Sweater DAYS

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IMG_0220

D O     Y O U     O W N     O N E ?

An Ugly Christmas Sweater?

T                    H                    E                    Y

actually have parties with everyone wearing an Ugly Christmas Sweater.      .      .

Do  you  own  One ?

Do you feel like you’re wearing one

W  I  T  H  O  U  T     O  W  N  I  N  G    O  N  E ?

Even if we don’t own an Ugly Christmas Sweater

There are some days when it feels like we are wearing one that seems it’ll never come off:

Bad Relationships

Job Security

Ill-Health

Death

Unrest

Zero to limited Bank Accounts

Moves

Conflict

.          .          .What to do?

I often remember my student church the first year I was in Seminary.

By God,

we were going to have the first

LIVE   NATIVITY   CHRISTMAS   PAGENT

that small little Country Church had ever had.     .     .

I learned from that experience,

NEVER    TO     BRING     LIVE    FARM    ANIMALS

into the Sanctuary;

Little Lambs looks great on Christmas Cards,

but the things they left between the

PEEE-EWWWS

while they were bleeping away

are smells and stains

I don’t think they’ve yet to rid themselves of nearly 40 years later.     .     .

I’m not even going to mention the Donkey’s antics

or the calves

or the fact that the goat ate stored furniture.       .       .

It got worse still

when our third Wiseman came down with chicken-pox the night of the big show

and it’s not the same song  singing:

  “WE   TWO  KINGS  OF   ORIENT  ARE“

.       .       .It got worse before   NEVER   getting better:

We had a beautiful illuminated JESUS

in the manager who’s    LIGHT    burned out.        .        .

no problem,

I replaced it with a bulb

that turned out to be a STROBE LIGHT.        .        .

N O T H I N G   like an

ON/OFF   ON/OFF   ON/OFF   ON/OFF   ON/OFF   ON/OFF   ON/OFF   ON/OFF   ON/OFF

J       E       S       U       S

B            L            I            N            K            I            N            K

away  in  the  manger.

W E   L I V E

Ugly     Christmas     Sweaters     LIVES

and we have the same three choices I had that

bleating/blinking/too much stink for a sanctuary full of un-clogged noses/two-wiseman cursed night:

C  A  N  C  E  L       T  H  E       M  E  S  S

It always seems like one of the best of possibilities,

doesn’t it.     .     ?

Let’s just cancel this craziness;

this mess,

and cut our losses and speak of it never again.       .       .

Who would blame us when things are a disasters

and getting no better.       .       .

I mean,

when the Ugly Christmas Sweater snags—-

why fix it.        .        .?

P  R  E  T  E  N  D

I’ve long believed

that the only day we actually celebrate all 365 days is

H     A     L     L     O     W     E     E     N

We should all be nominated

and actually win the Academy Award

every year for the phenomenal acting jobs we pull off each day.     .     .

Let’s just pretend our way through our Ugly Christmas Sweater Days.       .     .

After all,

we don’t want to spoil anything for anyone,

especially during  T H E    S E A S O N.   .   .   

E     M     B     R     A     C     E             I     T

It’s like hugging a porcupine.       .       .

but why not just embrace the obvious—-

Just not  O W N.        .        .

W E A R    T H E    C H R I S T M A S    S W E A T E R

I N    S T Y L E

Endure the Stank,

Dance to the pulsating Light,

Sing the not-so-complete-song

and fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

your way to the homemade cookie and coffee cake line,

straight to the hot chocolate.      .      .

Y  O  U  R     C  H  O  I  C  E ?

UGLY  SWEATER  CHRISTMAS  DAYS

We all have them

We all live through them

We all come out the other end of

T  H  A  T

tunnel a little more disheveled, snagged, smelly, guffawed at

but–THRIVERS–ALL

There’s only one thing to do–ever–when faced with an

UGLY  CHRISTMAS  SWEATER  DAY:

S   P   O   R   T        I   T

(No   Matter   What   The   Season)

MUDDIED WORDS

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imrs-php

It was a moment I’ll never forget.     .      .

She’s an 87 year old lady

on hospice

who looked up from her bed at me

and asked me if it was ok for her to say the word:

“F  *  C  K?”

It rolled so sweetly off her tongue.     .     .

from her lips.       .       .

and I remember distinctly not being able to hold back a smile as I asked,

“Do you need permission to say anything, to me, to anyone?”

“It’s   just   a   word   that   for   all   of   my   life   has   seemed   to   sum   up   everything,”

she said,

“.       .       .when   I’m   mad,   when   I’m   happy,   when   I’m   afraid   and   scared   or   when                         I’m   in   pain.     .     .”

“.     .     .Do   you   think   it’s   wrong.     .     .Do   you   think   I’ll   be   punished   for   it?”

“Was you  intention  ever to hurt someone or embarrass them?”

“Oh  no, never.   .   .I  guess  I  always  said   ‘f * c k’    to  make  me  feel  better.”

“Has it?”

“Always.   .   .it’s my go-to-sum-it-all-up-word.       .        .      .”

Some nearly twenty years later.       .       .

Every time I hear

t  h  e     w  o  r   d

I think of her and smile.       .       .

Back then I didn’t have the

Research

The Studies

The Data

that back up her empirical feelings.       .        .

I’ve swallowed bars of soap.     .     .

Sat in countless  TIME OUT  Chairs.     .     .

Been sent to my room.     .     .

Felt a hand across my face.     .     .

Been embarrassed.     .     .

but it seems that the

c     u     r     s     i     n     g

problem, isn’t a problem at all.

Now this is not a blog post

to condone

to allow

to make ok

to put a stamp of approval on

 m     u     d     d     i     e     d              w     o     r     d     s

but the studies are showing support

for what my hospice patient felt all of those years ago:

THAT   SWEARING  ACTUALLY  RELIEVES  PAIN

.       .       .and isn’t that the real goal of emotional outbursts:

TO   RELIEVE  PAIN ?

Richard Stephens of Keele University in England led a study that measured just how long 67 college students could keep their hands submerged in ice water.       .       .The group of students were encouraged to yell profanities for one controlled testing, and then to use non-swear words while completing the test.     .     .is it surprising that the 67 volunteers endured the cold temperatures for some 40 seconds longer  WHILE  SCREAMING  OBSCENITIES and more, the group actually felt less pain overall.     .      .Stephens even went so far as to say, “I would advise people, if they hurt themselves, to swear.”

Of course, there is a sanitary, clinical term for this:

HYPOALGESIC   EFFECT  OF  SWEARING

Richard Stephens also concluded 10 other reasons why swearing may be good for the Soul:

IT  MAKES  YOU FEEL  STRONGER

IT  ACTUALLY  DOESN’T  MAKE YOU  FEEL  STUPID  OR  IGNORANT

IT  SERVES  AS  A  GREAT  COPING  MECHANISM

IT  HELPS  YOU  FEEL  MUCH  MORE  RESILIENT

IT  REALLY  DOES  MAKE  YOU  FEEL  SO  VERY  MUCH  BETTER

IT’S  MORE  ENGAGING  WHILE  WATCHING  TV  AND  MOVIES

IT  HELPS  CREATE  CLOSE  BONDS  WITH  OTHER  PEOPLE

IT’S   INNATE   AND   EXPRESSIVE

IT   MEANS   YOU’RE   CREATIVE

IT  HELPS  YOU  EMPHASIZE  YOUR  POINTS  

Timothy Jay,  a psychologist at the Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts has spent the last 35 years studying the use of profanities.  He states, “It allows us to vent or express anger, joy, surprise, happiness, grief.     .     .It’s like the horn on your car, you can do a lot of things with that, it’s built into you.     .     .     .”

Maybe all of those years ago.       .       .

without the studies and the research.     .      .

my sweet, hospice patient was right that day.         .        .

After I prayed with her that afternoon,

her blue eyes twinkled with a sly secret

that couldn’t quite hold the surprise any longer

as she reached up and touched the side of my face and said,

“You’re such a nice  f*cking man.      .      .

we laughed for the

b e n e d i c t i o n

and honestly.      .     .

f e l t   better

MAGIC SHIRTS

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I’ve   been   a

f          a          t          h          e          r

for some thirty-seven years

a    n   d

my kids have made me a lot of things

over those years

but aside from making me their

 d          a           d

they   really   made   me   a   great

s        t        o        r        y  –  t        e        l        l        e        r

They would be

stories of encouragement

stories of hope

stories of motivation

stories of life

stories of living

but most of all

stories of the

u  n  c  o  n  d  i  t  i  o  n  a  l      l o v e

I’ve always had for them

and hopefully never made them

d       o       u       b       t

THIS     IS    US

is a new NBC tv Series

that began this year

and it not only talks about

conventional life

but conventional

family life.     .     .

I hate

to this day

when any of my kids

or grandchildren

h          u          r          t

and would do anything

to make it evaporate

or

TELL     IT    AWAY

Like this scene

or more

just  by

s     h     o      w      i     n     g          u     p.        .        .

s              h              a              r              i              n              g   

t h e     h  u r t.      .       .

until the tears dried

or were replaced by even a

h a l f – s m i l e.     .     .

I could do that

with trips to the Mall

A movie with

the extra-big bucket of buttered popcorn

and their own Big Pop

A bag full of penny-candy

A play-ground run

A day at an amusement park

one-on-one dates to Bob Evans

or Caribou Coffee

or a well-timed  s t o r y:

M       A       G       I       C       A       L

So

what’s

your

go  to

s       t       o       r       y  ?

Mirror, Mirror OFF The Wall

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96ee8f6b-f617-49c3-8fd4-4703e5caea30

When you look in the mirror.     .     .

Do you really see yourself.       .       .

Do you Like   W   H   O     you see

or are you really looking at someone completely

d         i         f         f         e         r         e         n         t         l         y   

than the attractive person who stares unblinkingly

back at you.     .     .     ?

There’s a new study that says your level of

a     t     t     r     a     c     t     i     v     e     n     e     s     s

varies depending on who you’re with

and just how  good-looking  they are in comparison to you.       .       .

Now, you’d think a person’s  attractiveness

is fixed.     .     .

but the research suggests that context is key when assessing how  good-looking

someone actually is.     .     .

In a somewhat cruel,

if    u  n  s  u  r  p  r  i  s  i  n  g   twist.      .      .

a person will rank higher on a scale

of attractiveness

when compared alongside less attractive people

than they would when judged alone.        .        .

For the study,

which was led by psychologists from

Royal Holloway,

University of London

and published in the journal

P S Y C H O L O G I C A L    S C I E N C E,

40 participants were asked to rates pictures

of different faces

for their attractiveness .     .     .

They were then asked to assess

the same faces when they were placed alongside others.     .     .

when adding these

d i s t r a c t o r      f a c e s

the original faces increased from

the first round of ranking.      .     .

Dr. Nicholas Furl, the author of the study, said

“If you saw a picture of George Clooney today,

you would rate him as good-looking as you would tomorrow 

H     O     W     E     V     E     R

this work demonstrates that the company we keep

has an effect on how

attractive we appear to others.     .     .     .”

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

Dr. Furl thinks:

“People may even socially evaluate a person differently depending on who is standing nearby.     .     .     .”

S     O

W     H     A     T  ?

.       .       .w  e  l  l

this information could be useful to those working in

a d v e r t i s i n g

w e b s i t e     d e s i g n

and

c o n s u m e r     b e h a v i o r.      .     .

S     O

W     H     A     T  ?

M  I  R  R  O  R

M  I  R  R  O  R

O  F  F

T  H  E

W  A  L  L

get smashed to bits

and see what’s behind the mirror.      .     .

what the mirror can never reflect

and what your eyes can never see

but your heart will never get wrong;

what your heart will never

fail to notice

the inside

of  a person

the very  i n s i d e

of yourself.     .     .

n            o            w

when that gets

reflected

noticed

s        h        o        w        n—

.         .          .what a perception

.          .          .what a vision

.          .          .what a sight

.          .          .what a gift

to    b e h o l d.        .          .

to   s h a r e.           .           .

to     r e c e i v e.       .        .

DEGRADED

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120611_DX_elementaryschoolartclassEX.jpg.CROP.rectangle3-large

Yeah.       .       .

I was   T H A T   kid.

I wasn’t very good in school.      .      .

I didn’t like it.       .       .

I don’t know if it much liked me, either.       .        .

I went there to play sports

and when sports went away,

I used it for a true means

to an   e  n  d.     .     .

I learned to beat it

M            O          R          E

than it beat me.

I learned to overcome it’s shame

and   D   E   G   R   A   D   I   N   G         G   R   A   D   E   S.       .       .

When I was in 6th grade we had just moved again;

It was the third school I had been in 6 years.      .      .

In retrospect.      .      .

it really made me the extrovert,

people-person I am today.       .       .

but it was tough,  t h e n.        .         .

Our teacher was Old School

in an    n e w   school.       .       .

She believed in motivating through humiliation;

When you took a test

she let everyone know what   S  C  O  R  E

they received by

Calling out your name

and putting your paper on the desk.      .      .

but just not any desk;

We had five rows of them.     .     .

She started by calling out the names

of all those who had received

F’s

by putting them on the row of desks in the fifth row;

D’s

were the Fourth Row;

C’s

right in the middle;

B’s

in the Second Row

and with drum roll anticipation

and great Pomp

T h e   A’s  

were reserved for   T H A T

First Row.     .     .

Yes, I can finally write about it now.       .       .

I landed not just in the Fifth Row,

but most of the time,

the last or next to the last seat in the Fifth Row.     .     .

H-U-M-L-L-I-A-T-E-D–N O T

m     o     t     i     v     a     t     e     d !

And then I found a way out:

E     X     T     R     A           C     R     E     D     I     T !

We walked to school,

which was a half of a block away

and went home for lunch.     .     .

I would hurry home

and eat lunch and then hurry back to school

so that I could grab the Encyclopedias

and come up with a 3-5 minute talk

about some interesting facts

of what we were studying in Geography;

I didn’t discover my voice.        .        .

I literally ascertained that my mouth,

the mouth that had been washed out several times with soap,

that got sent to bed countless times for

‘s  a  s  s  i  n  g,’

that mouth which could convince

my brothers and sister

out of their favorite Halloween or Easter candy,

belongs in a Circus—

all   T h r e e – R i n g s !

I did what everyone else hated to do:

T   a   l   k

 in front of the class room,

three days a week,

following our lunch break.      .      .

I’d tell them about the importing and exporting business

in Peru or Rio or Guam;

Told them about climates and what grew best in the soil;

What Winter’s or Fall’s were like;

I told them what the favorite hobbies

or past-time’s were in those locales and

I      K  E  P  T      F  A  I  L  I  N  G      T  E  S  T  S.         .        .

But I kept moving up Rows.     .     .

From the  F’s

to the  D’s

to the  C’s

to the  B’s

and finally.      .      .

I was sitting in the last seat of the

A’s   Row

because of a mouth that couldn’t be quieted or

D  E – G  R  A  D  E  D !

I remember one afternoon,

going in before school resumed

again after lunch

and working on another Extra Credit talk

while  S H E

was sitting at her desk grading papers

to a test we had just taken that morning;

“You found a way, didn’t you,”  she asked me?

I looked up from the Encyclopedia that I was reading,

getting ready for my next talk.     .     .

“Uhhh, ma’am.”

“You found a way of passing while failing, didn’t you?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Well, it’s a good thing, because this test you just took would have landed you back in the last seat of the Fourth Row.”

I didn’t say or do anything, because I couldn’t look away from her.

She smiled and said,

“Congratulations. Well done, Mr. Behrens. You have found a way out of the way and I believe it will serve you well.”

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.      .      .

I haven’t stopped smiling—–

y  e  t.        .        .

or

T       A       L       K       I       N       G.        .        .        

Taught

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Amazing isn’t it.     .     .

it’s rarely about Teaching;

Amazing isn’t it.      .      .

it’s rarely about the Student;

Amazing isn’t it.       .       .

it’s rarely about them

N O T  finding themselves

T     o     g     e     t     h     e     r

at the exact time they’re both needed to show up.      .      .

The Teacher doesn’t always Teach.       .       .

The Student doesn’t always Learn.       .       .

But.       .       .

when that exact moment

the two are on the Same Page

in THE SAME BOOK.        .        .

Learning just doesn’t take place,

M         A         G         I         C

h a p p e n s.  .  .

Who was   that   Teacher for   your   Student?

It doesn’t always happen in the Classroom,

does   it?

Maybe that’s the problem.        .        .

we look for the Teacher in a Classroom,

chalk in hand,

Blackboard at their back,

opened Book,

Power-Pointed Up,

Lecturing,

Instructing,

Directing,

Assigning.        .        .

Maybe that’s the problem.      .      .

we look for the Student in a Classroom,

slumped in seat,

doodling on blank pages,

reading the same sentence/paragraph

over and over again,

feigning attention.       .       .

 But the Teacher,

the Student

can be in grocery story lines,

or movie theaters,

or ballgames,

or swim meets,

or at a diner,

a car wash,

Church,

a Mosque,

Synagogue,

Cathedral,

Cemetery,

Drive-Thru,

Playground,

Anywhere.      .      .

Anyplace.      .      .

Anytime.      .      .

Anyhow.      .      .

Is   it   Today ?

Is it Right now

at this exact moment

via   a   blog?

Is   it

Virtual?

Did you hear it in a Song Lyric.      .      .

a Headline?

Maybe the truest question is

N O T      W H E N      I S      I T.         .         .

BUT      WHEN      ISN’T      IT ?

Class  is  in  Session.       .       .

All Ways.        .        .

Always.        .         .         . 

Has Your MESSAGE Changed?

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images-1

Has Your Message Ever Changed?

Not only is

T     I     M     E

moving  at  an  unbelievably

fast  pace,

but so is everything that is attached to

T      I      M      E

like our information .       .       .

Has your Message Ever Changed?

Have what you believed

a year ago.      .      .

five years ago.       .       .

ten years ago.       .       .

fifteen years ago.       .       .

twenty years ago.       .      .

thirty years ago.       .        .

FIFTY years ago.       .       .

S I X T Y-S E V E N     Y E A R S     A G O .     .     .  

still what you    N  O  W    believe

without any shadows of doubt

or

bet-the-farm-

bet-your-own-life

assurance?

It’s amazing what was

B E L I E V E D

K N O W N 

T O U T E D

in 1949

so profoundly factually

has been so significantly been

debunked.      .       .

ever have any thoughts

ever have any feelings

ever have any on-your-children’s lives

S            U            R            E            T            I            E            S

ever evaporate into

a-not-so-thin-puff-of-smoke

H  A  S            Y  O  U  R            M  E  S  S  A  G  E            E  V  E  R            C  H  A  N  G  E  D

.            .            .Should     I T ?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm  Of   The   Day:

G L O R I O U S

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Sometimes you go to Church

without ever actually going

T     H     E     R     E

(and those are the most holy of times)

There are times when

You might feel aimless

And can’t see the places

Where you belong

But you will find that

There is a a purpose

It’s been there within you

All along

And when you’re near it

You can almost heart it

It’s like a symphony

Just keep listening

And pretty soon you’ll start

To figure out your part

Everyone plays a piece

And there are melodies

In each one of us

Ohhhhh it’s   G L O R I O U S

And you will know how

To let it ring out

As you discover

Who you are

Others around you

Will start to wake up

To the sounds that are

In their hearts

It’s so amazing

What we’re all creating

It’s like a Symphony

Just keep listening

And pretty soon you’ll start

To figure out your part

Everyone plays a piece

And there are melodies

in each one of us

Ohhhhh it’s  G L O R I O U S

And as you feel

The notes built

H I G H E R

You will see

It’s like a Symphony

Just keep listening

And pretty soon you’ll start

To figure out your part

Everyone plays a piece

And there are melodies

In each one of us

Ohhhhh it’s  G L O R I O U S

Sometimes you go to Church

without stepping into the front door

of even the most magnificent of

all sanctuaries.       .       .

on a brand new,

f   r  e  s  h

Monday Morning.          .          .

B E

T  H  A  T

S          A          N          C          T          U          A          R          Y

that simply

a  c  c  e  n  t  u  a  t  e  s 

another’s part

in the

s     y     m     p     h     o     n     y

and listen to how it

plays

inspires

motivates

new notes in you

that have yet to be

c     o     n     d     u     c     t     e     d

I  T ‘ S      

G     L     O     R     I     O     U     S

Communicated

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I’ve never liked it.      .      .

people   yelling.       .       .at   one   another

It never really happened much in my home as I was growing up.

I give my parents, my grandparents, my brothers, sister and extended family a huge

T H A N K        Y O U  

When it did  happen  it always made me sick to my stomach.

It made me feel like

I   had   to   do   something 

to stop it or at least interfere it;

switch the attention.

It shouted to me, at a young age,

N  O  N – C  O  N  F  R  O  N  T  A  T  I  O  N  A  L

 is the way I like things, personally, professionally and incidentally.

It was at recent gathering that I witnessed it.

No.      .      .

no this wasn’t two highly emotional, highly grieved family members fighting with each other.

I have seen plenty of those confrontations where police either had to be called to restore order or actually show up ahead of time to maintain it.

No–this wasn’t between family members or blended family members or a husband/wife.      .      .      .

This communication explosion took place between two people that really had no other vested interest of anyone else there except to be of some service to them.

It really took me aback because my first thought was maybe she was screaming at him because I was talking to him and keeping him from what she thought he ought to be doing instead of talking to me.

It wasn’t long or overly loud but it was pointedly upsetting to me.      .       .

at first.       .       .

until.           .           .

I witnessed his response.

It’s what he didn’t say that shouted the loudest:

N             O             T             H             I             N             G

He didn’t walk away.

He didn’t snear.

He didn’t make any hand gestures at her.

He didn’t give her stink eye.

He didn’t look down, up, or away from her.

He didn’t frown.

He didn’t cry or tear up.

He didn’t fain shame or embarrassment.

He didn’t laugh.

He didn’t yell back.

He did nothing.       .       .

.       .       .which seemed like a for ever until she walked away muttering,

not-so-quietly what:   “a useless jerk!”

When a person gives you a piece of their mind, it’s usually much more real estate than we’d ever like to receive, let alone, OWN.      .      .      .

Communication happens on many different levels,

in a multitude of different languages,

including Sign Language,

but rarely do we interact with exact-laser-pointed-silence.

I saw him a few days ago and I told him maybe what I should have told him  then,  

“I wanted to tell you how much I respected how you handled yourself when you got yelled at a few weeks ago.  I don’t know if I would have had the same reaction or even have been able, at least not to yell or respond back.”

“My dad,” he said in response to my compliment, with a smile on his face, “taught me that little gem.”

 My grandmother wasn’t overly kind to my dad and when she would yell at him for not doing things

‘the right way,’

he would give her that same response.

“When I asked my dad why he never said anything back, he told me that number one, he wanted to show his mother respect and number two, whenever anyone ever yells at you in front of anyone, your response of silence will always be louder than their words.”

“Maybe. . .maybe,” he said, “She might have a feeling that she looked more silly for yelling than I did for saying nothing.”

Hmmmmmmmmmm of the Day, huh?

There’s a lot of fights,

a lot of hurt feelings,

a lot of arguments,

maybe even wars–

that might not have ever taken place with this kind of response.

C O M M U N I C A T E D

Is something that we’ve all had placed down upon us.       .        .

not always in the most pleasant ways,

b u t.           .           .

Maybe the most powerfully poetic,

profound and even profane thing we can ever say is:

 

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man