The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

The Funeral That Wasn’t, WAS

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images-3

It happens you know?

We die many Deaths before the one that actually stops our hearts,

silences our minds and completes un-whispered thoughts

with the promise of not one more inhaled breath.        .        .

W  E    D  I  E.        .        .

I did just a few hours ago.      .       .

I was actually working on this post

(WELL, ANOTHER ONE BEFORE THE PHONE CALL)

when my Cell phone rang.     .     .

I noticed it was the number of a Funeral Home.      .      .

(Some   have   me   on   Speed   Dial)

The words he said

are words that literally make me wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat?

“WHERE      ARE      YOU      AT?”

I was planning to do a memorial service for a family on FRIDAY NIGHT

and they and the Funeral Director

decided to change it to a night earlier—-

WITHOUT       TELLING       ME!

Let’s get something straight,

right away—a Confession of sorts—

The Writer and the Reader of this Blog

ARE      NOT      PERFECT.        .        .

THEY make Mistakes—-

lots   of   them!

With my heart still pounding

(for something that wasn’t my fault this time)

just a mere 15 minutes before the service was to begin,

I told him I could throw my suit on and get to his place within a half-an-hour.       .       .

(I was able to do it in 27 minutes)

When I arrived,

I met her husband of 57 years

and her children

and after apologizing for me being late,

we began the service.        .       .

My heart had been successfully resuscitated.        .        .

It beats best when I speak. . .

when I do Services.        .        .

under pressure.       .       .

I can’t rightly explain

H  O  W   it’s a Gift;

I just know   T H A T   it’s a Gift

and it’s when I absolutely feel most alive,

B U T.           .           .

that’s not really what this Post is about at all.        .        .

Sometimes the worst deaths

take place way before our hearts stop beating.      .      .

When we make mistakes.         .         .
When we don’t own mistakes.         .         .
When we hurt another.         .         .
When we’re hurt by another.          .          .
When prayers aren’t answered and dreams realized.          .          .
When disappointments taunt and unfulfilled anticipations haunt.         .         .
When steps have been taken but lead to seemingly nowhere.         .         .
When Hope is just a Window dressing for Denial.         .         .
When Tears are the Worst Seasoning ever tasted.         .         .
When Shame is Worn more often than Success.          .          .
When Weariness is stronger than Worthiness.          .          .
When___________________.          .          .

What’s      your      Greatest      Fear ?

What’s the thing that makes you wake up

in the middle of the night in that Cold Sweat?

What     S T O P S     your  Heart ?

Open Graves are always a danger for Living

U       N       L       E       S       S

We intentionally bury that which has no Life,       .       .

NO Living in us.        .        .

Some things in us just need to be

G          O          N          E !

It was  S U P P O S E  to be tomorrow night.          .          .

We have many

S       U       P       P       O       S       E  ‘  S

in our Lives that take on Lives of their own—

EXCEPT.         .         .

they are not  R E A L.        .        .

THEY  only feel   THAT   way!

The Funeral that Wasn’t,

W  A  S—

I sat down beside the Widower after the Service

and he told me how great I was

and even after I apologized again for not being able to say what he really needed to hear,

he assured me that my words

were exactly what he needed

and couldn’t believe having not met him or his deceased wife of 57 years

how it  FELT  to him that I did.          .          .

I thanked him for Showing me

WHAT WORKS.           .           .

WHAT CAN’T BE BURIED.        .        .

Who.         .         .

who could imagine that Flowers can grow

without being planting first.         .         .        ?

One’s who see Open Graves

not as a Rut or a Tomb,

but just a another beautiful place

to grow Flowers and Plants.          .          .

(And Actually Use them as Such)

The Glass That Doesn’t B R E A K

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Are   your   Endings

truly   your   Beginnings.     .     .     ?

It feels like an easy answer, doesn’t it?

Maybe this is what really makes us

H           U          M          A          N  ?

These ominous endings and beginnings. . .

these bend-over-laugh-till-you-throw-up-moments

and the I-can’t-stop-crying-instances;

Maybe it’s our insatiable curiosity

or our impending doom gloominess. . .

What makes us

H          U          M           A           N  ?

What makes you distinctively

human?

Your laugh.     .     .

Your sigh.     .     .

Your moods.     .     .

Your smile.     .     .

Your tears.     .     .

Your compassion.     .     .

Your empathy.     .     .

Your eyes.     .     .

Your facial features.     .     .

Your ability to question.     .     .

Your ability to answer.     .     .

what.          .          .what.          .          .w h a t.          .          .

makes          y     o     u           h u m a n ?

It’s enough to shatter your pretty glass, isn’t it?

Well in a World of

u n s u r e d n e s s 

here’s some fragile trustworthiness:

Your Glass may be shattered. . .but never broken

It’s   your

f      i      l      l      a      b       i      l      i      t      y

that’ll  make  sure  your  glass  is  never  fully  empty

a     n     d

by  the  way.          .          .

ohhhhhh      what     a     beautiful     g l a s s 

Raise it up high

y    o     u

are   a  

T              o              a              s              t    

well   worth   being   made

and

celebrated.

S        A        L        U        T        E

Chasing Thrown Rocks

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Pile-of-Rocks_Round-Boulders__36442-480x320

Go ahead.     .     .

pick a couple of Rocks.      .      .

but not just  ANY  Rocks.     .     .

Pick one that represents every

 T               H               I               N               G

 bad you’d like to  Throw Away,

get rid of,

D  i  s  c  a  r  d     from  your  Life.

We all have those pages,

those paragraphs,

those Sentences in the Book of our Life

we’d love to rip out,

obliterate as if they’d never existed,

so we and no one else will ever know of them again or ever.

Well, wonder if you could throw away,

f          o         r         e         v         e         r ,

that Misfortune in your life.          .          .

would you do it?

Take a walk with me to this pile of Rocks.

Pick one that represents everything you’d like to throw away,

and keep one that represents all that is precious to you.

Walk a little further with me

and lets securely put that    p r e c i o u s    rock in the most safest,

securest of places on our way to pitch that nasty,

hurtful Rock.

Here, we are!

See it a nice body of water lapping at the shores before you.

Take your aim!

 Now with all of your might, do it!

 T             H             R             O             W                         I             T

with   all   of   your   strength,

all   of   your   anger,

all   of   your   hurt,

all   of   your   disappointment—

H             E             A             V             E                   I          T  !

W          O         W !

 G o o d      T h r o w.             .           .

Look at that    p    l    u    n    k,

that   s p l a s h,

the   r  i  p  p  l  e  s   you created.           .           .

but it’s      G     O     N     E .           .           .

G     O     N     E            F     O     R     E     V     E     R  !

Hey

H      E     Y !

H            E            Y !   

What are you doing?

Where are you going?

G E T     B A C K      H E R E!

What   do   you   mean   you’re   going   to   go   find   your  Rock?

Are you Crazy?

Ludicrous, huh?

Seriously.         .          .

have you ever Thrown Away Your ROCK

only to go and find it again?

On Purpose?

Pssssssssssssssssssssssst:

 N  o  t      T  o  d  a  y !

Let     it     Go!

Let it be Gone.         .         .

Forever!

It’s weighed you down too much for too long.         .         .

UNLESS.          .          .          

it   hasn’t  yet !

WHY BE KIND

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W          H          Y  ?

Why  be

 k                   i                    n                    d   ?

A  learned Rabbi once told me

to always ask a

q     u     e     s     t     i     o     n

with  a

q     u     e     s     t     i     o     n

So.       .       .

W h y     b e

m                     e                    a                    n  ?

There’s a lot of negativity out there

that we actually

A  R  E      N O T

immune.     .      .

I love that filmmakers,

Jessie Aurit and Alexandra Berger

wanted to do something to

c        o        m        b       a        t

all   of   the

s        t       u       f       f

out

t                   h                   e                 r                   e   

and  kids

are the perfect

v               o               i               c               e

that  we  may  actually

l          i          s          t          e          n

.          .          .the children discussing

k        i        n        d        n        e        s :

What  it  is.        .        .

Why  it  is important .        .        .

The consequences of being unkind.          .          .

Why  kindness  is  vital  for  our  future.          .          .

Your  Favorite ?

Mine:

“IF    YOU    BE    NICE    IT    GIVES    YOU    A    MAGICAL    LIFE”

y     e    a   h.        .        .

a     m a g i c a l     life:

L                    E                    T             ‘       S

let’s

K          I          N          D          N          E          S          S

It’s the main ingredient

of being a Caring Catalyst

and here’s the not-s0-big-secret:

It’s in all of us

and there’s always ever just one thing that keeps it from coming

o  u  t.          .          .

y                       o                       u.            .            .            .

Hearing the SILENCE

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What exactly do you call

S             I           L             E             N             C             E

that    s   p   e   a   k   s.       .       .        ?

Some call it

C o n s c i e n c e

Some call it

I n t u i t i o n

Some call it

S i x t h   S e n s e

Some call it

E n e r g y

Some call it

S p i r i t

Some call it

S        i        l        e        n        c        e

I had just finished a funeral

it was a little 3:30 in the afternoon

and my first thought was to go and finish charting;

but then

I     T

happened.       .       .

As   I   pulled   out   of   the  funeral   home   parking   lot

and began going down the short road to home

I saw there was a lot of traffic

and at the one light

where I would have gone straight

I turned left and got on the road

that took me to

Ames Family Hospice House

one of our inpatient units.     .     .

When I walked in the front door

there she was.       .       .

I had only met her once.     .     .

y   e   s   t   e   r   d   a   y

and we had talked about

the decline of her father and

.       .       .and his funeral.        .        .

and now I walk in and actually see

her being picked off the floor by some staff

and her husband

after being told

“You’re  father died,”

after sitting vigil for him with days on end

and just leaving for a few moments

to pick up her children from school.      .     .

When she saw me, she looked in disbelief and said,

“There’s   the   guy   who’s   going   to   do   my   dad’s   funeral;  how   did   he   know   to   come?”

After I sat with the family for a while

and we made some preliminary funeral arrangements

and I was walking away from them

I heard a voice from a gentleman

who’s uncle I had a funeral service for

two weeks earlier.     .     .

“C      H      U      C     K !”

.      .     .and when I turned to see who was calling my name,

his wife asked,

“How   did   you   know   to   come   here.     .     .my   mother   just   died.”

H     O     W.        .       .

h o w     i n d e e d.       .       .

was  it

c o n s c i e n c e

i n t u i t i o n

s i x t h  s e n s e

e n e r g y

s p i r i t

s        i       l       e       n       c       e

The World takes us down so many, many

d i f f e r e n t   r o a d s

and one of the biggest secrets in the World

isn’t  that they are all in our hands

and not that they all lead

t o  a

p        l       a      c      e

b u t    t o     a

d        e        s        t      i       n       a        t       i        o        n

w h e r e

s            i            l            e            n            c            e

s  p  e  a  k  s

that can be heard

in crystal clear

precision

with no misunderstanding.        .        .

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

l i s t e n.        .       .

There’s a big difference

between listening to the

s    i    l    e   n   c   e

and actually

hearing

e x p e r i e n c i n g

it.     .     .

That’ll take you down roads that will have you and people asking,

“How  did  you  know  to  be  here?”

Cell by Cell

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images-4Have you ever felt

L    E    S    S ?

Have you ever felt

as if you just could get comfortable

for just more than a few seconds,

that your life would take on a different

 S       H       A       P       E ?

Easy for what you wish for.        .        .

There’s probably nothing that a Study hasn’t been done.        .        .

EVEN AMOEBA’S.           .           .

A few years back there was a study done by Researchers at the University of California, Berkley.

The Researchers did an experiment that involved

a   l o n e l y   Amoeba

and placing it into a perfectly stress-free environment.       .       .

It was absolutely

P      E      R      F      E      C      T !

Ideal temperature
Optimal concentration of moisture
Constant Food Supply

P        E        R        F        E        C        T !

The Amoeba had an environment where literally,

there were absolutely no adjustments to be made or compensated for whatsoever.

It’s kind of easy to assume, isn’t it,

that this was one happy little  A m o e b a .       .       .

Whatever it is that gives Amoebas ulcers and high blood pressure was gone–

A      B      S      E      N      T

And.         .         .and here comes the funny,

no, the scary part:

I  T      D  I  E  D  !

The study,

which was run over and over again, hypothesized.      .      .

PROVED  apparently there is something about all living creatures,

AMOEBAS included, that demands

C      H      A      L      L      E      N      G      E !

We.        .        .ohhhhhh nooooooooooo,

seemingly require CHANGE.

We require V A R I E T Y.       .       .

Adaptation and Challenge are just as necessary as food and air.

GET THIS:

Comfort all by itself

A Stress-free atmosphere

Total Ideal Conditions over a long,

sustained period of time

are  D   E   A   D   L   Y !

Is   it   true?

Or is it just

Amoeba-related?

Maybe the whole deal of

B       E       I       N       G

thriving,

living creatures

is that we need

Change
Alteration
Variety
Action
Stimulation
Modification

Real, live, day-to-day consequences.             .             .

L I F E.        .        .

We are living,

walking,

breathing

C h e m i s t r y   sets that prove we need

C            H            A            N            G            E

to remain the same to continue to grow under the not-so-noticable Microscope called the World’s eye.

Maybe.      .      .maybe it really is true:

We are quite the

P     R     O     J     E     C     T

(ALWAYS ONGOING.        .        .and THRIVING because of it)

BEWARE OF THE LONELY AMOEBA–

it’s deadly!

Hmmmmmmmm of the Day:

THE   ONLY   THING   CONSTANT   IS   CHANGE

is  actually  a  HEALTHY  THING!

Do  you l ike

C         H         A         N         G        E  ?    

Pssssssst.      .      .

Check yourself–l i t e r a l l y–

even at this very nano-second

you’re changing cell by cell !

Can’t feel a thing, huh.      .      .      ?

or,  c a n    y o u ?

TABLE’D U P

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https://youtu.be/vDuA9OPyp6I

A    R    E        Y   O   U        H   U   N   G   R   Y ?

For what?

Steak?

Potatoes?

Salad?

Broccoli?

Corn?

Mashed Potatoes?

Spanish Rice?

Shrimp and Grits?

Ribs?

Eggs, Bacon and Homefries?

A Grande Breve Latte?

Cake?

Pie?

Sherbert?

Rootbeer Float?

Milkshake?

Cookies?

Candy Bars?

Tic Tac’s?

Gum?

Popcorn?

Well.            .            .

that which feeds you,

r   e   a   l   l   y

r        e        a        l        l       y

feeds you.          .          .

E  A  T       Y  O  U  R       F  I  L  L

Feed the Beast

and  Feed  it often

until you’re slothingly 

F  U  L  L

and.       .       .

don’t go hungry

ever again.        .        .

and more.        .        .

f   e   e   d       a   n   o   t   h   e   r 

and really take care

of the

hunger problem!

Maybe what the world needs now

is just a huge table full of

hungry people

willing to share

t     h     e     i     r           b     e     s     t     s

to   the    left

and   right   of   them

and   not   being   ashamed

to   go   for   the

s    e    c    o    n    d    s

or

t    h    i    r    d    s.        .        .

T   a   b   l   e       U   P

Bon appetit

LET I T

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The     best     way     to     make

Valentine’s  Day

a

l   i   f   e   s   t   y  l  e

of   being   an   ongoing

Caring  Catalyst

is  summed  up  with

JUST    4    WORDS

l       e       t 

y        o        u        r

l           o           v           e

f              l              o              w

Remembering The FLAME

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https://youtu.be/RIUkqTq7RZQ

Have you actually ever

had  a

D     R     E     A     M

come  true?

Did it unroll before you

just as you scripted?

Was it better than you expected.       .       .

Greater than you imagined.       .       .

A Disaster ?

What would happen if

Y O U R      D R E A M

actually

emphatically

unbelievably

inevitably

came true.       .        .        ?

Would it fit under the

PHYSIC EQUATION:

FOR   EVERY   ACTION

THERE’S   A  REACTION ?

I  F

Your  every  Dream

actually came true

at what cost

would

it

be

?

Emma Stone poses these kind of questions

p       o       w       e       r       f       u       l       l       y

in her

Audition Song:

H E R E ‘ S    T O    T H E    F O O L S

from  La La Land

an Academy Award Nominated Movie

for the Best Picture of the Year

Here’s to rebels

the ripples from pebbles

The Painters

The Poets

The Plays

Here’s to the Fools who Dream

Crazy as they may seem

Here’s to the Hearts 

that Break,

Here’s to the Mess

W  E

m       a       k       e.         .         .

L          I          V          E

your life in such a way that

s      m     i     l     i     n    g

through

you’d    pledge    to     do     it

a   g   a   i   n

.            .           .a life full of dreams

realized

and not so

c  o  m  p  l  e  t  e  d.       .       .

A  Caring Catalyst Life

fulfilled

and 

intentionally

purposely

painfully

F  U  L  F  I  L  L  I  N  G

The H A N D

By Leave a Comment

 

I’ve got to

H      A      N      D           I      T

to you.        .        .

no pun intended!

Really.       .       .

It’s never the Hand

you’ve been dealt.          .           .

Go ahead.      .      .

finish the cliche.        .         .

it’s the way you play it!

W       R        O        N        G !

When I do my presentation:

DID YOU HEAR WHAT I DIDN’T SAY,

I always  H A N D  

everyone a card as they walk in

and then I let them choose one on their own.       .        .

Most ask,

“Am   I   allowed   to   look ?” or

“What’s  this   for ?”

Then I forget about it.         .         .

almost until the middle to end of my talk;

I tell them to take their cards and ask:

“W   H   O       W   O   N ?”

It’s amazing to me how many people

tell me that they have won and why.       .       .

.       .       .Say’s Who ?

“Why did you win?”

I  ask,

don’t we know what game we’re playing and more.         .         .

here’s the clincher:

W   H   A   T         A   R   E           T   H   E           R   U   L   E   S ?

We play

U        N        A        N        N        O        U        N        C        E        D

G a m e s

e          v          e          r          y          d          a          y

and as if that’s bad enough,

what’s worse,

we’re trying to   F  I  G  U  R  E

out the rules

let alone being willing to play by them;

Each person,

friend,

family,

stranger

deals up a set of cards for us

and the  Game  is  O N !

The most important Language you’ll ever Speak

or Hear

is the one you’ll never utter or detect by sound,

but begging to be understood.        .        .

Pssssssssst of the Day:

It’s never the Hand you’ve been dealt,

or the Hand you’ve had

or are currently holding right now.       .       .

It’s Not the Hand you’re playing—

It’s      the      Hand      you      are      Extending.         .         .

the hand you are Sharing.         .         .

the Hand you’re Giving.           .           .

and yes, most importantly,

the      Hand      you’re      holding

(THAT’S       ATTACHED       TO       ANOTHER       ARM)!

NEVER   let the hand you’re dealt

interfere with the

H  a  n  d        y  o  u        E  x  t  e  n  d.           .           .  

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man