The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

It’s a S H A M(E)

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junk_mail_pile_2

It’s almost become a thing of the past:

J  U  N  K      M  A  I  L

It’s almost a story no one would even notice or care about:

Richard’s

It’s almost a S H A M (E)

Funerals are a time to Remember.

Funerals are a time to Honor.

Funerals are a time to Celebrate.

It’s most likely why I really like,

yes actually enjoy,

conducting funerals.        .       .

I get to hear the most sacred thing in and out of this world:

S   T   O   R   I   E   S

I got to hear,

I got to facilitate,

I got to tell Richard’s story.        .        .

And now,

now like you,

m a y b e.          .          .

I get to tell,

I get to share,

I get to Celebrate,

I get to Honor,

I get to RE-Member it

He was an Everyone/No One.       .       .

You wouldn’t find him going viral on YouTube

or blowing up Twitter;

He’s not going to be a  SHARE

on anyone’s Facebook page.     .     .

He had no LinkedIn Account.          .          .

or none that  ANY  would bother to observe.      .      .

Richard won’t make the front page of any newspaper

or the top story of any newscast.       .       .

He’s the father or an estranged son,

a brother of a disgruntled sister,

an uncle of a needy, not always grateful niece

and a   f r i e n d

to anyone who ever sent out any kind of junk mail

promising to make you a millionaire for a mere,

new reduced price of $99,

or to feed a child for $5.99 a day,

or to provide clean water,

warm blankets,

medical care for $25 a month or.         .         .

Well you fill in the ________________________________________.

The more Richard responded, the more mail he would get
A  S  K  I  N  G,
P  L  E  A  D  I  N  G,
I  M  P  L  O  R  I  N  G.        .        .

He had three mountains of such requests around his chair.      .      .

ONE for Denying.        .        .
ONE for Considering.        .        .
ONE for Giving. . .his biggest pile by far.       .       .

You are reading this next sentence right:

HE   BORROWED   MONEY   TO   GIVE   AWAY   WHEN   HE   HAD   GIVEN   AWAY   ALL   OF   HIS   OWN

You are reading this next sentence right:

HE   WAS   FOUND   A   WEEK   OR   SO   AFTER   HIS   DEATH   IN   HIS   HOUSE   WHEN   THE   POST-OFFICE   IN HIS   SMALL   TOWN   HAD   MOUNDS   OF   UN-PICKED   UP   MAIL   AND   THOUGHT   SOMETHING   STRANGE AND   INVESTIGATED   DISCARDED   AND   DECAYING   LIKE   THE   PILES   OF   MAIL   SURROUNDING   HIM

He received   FIVE TIMES   the amount of junk mail on the day of his funeral than people attending.         .         .

This man who just didn’t   G  I  V  E,  but

G  A  V  E         W  A  Y,

W A Y,

W A Y      U P.        .        .

up to a place

he dreamed on this earth

that would benefit family and friends

who long abandoned him,

but never the  INVISIBLE HAND  that kept reaching out to him

until it clutched his throat

and strangled him long before his death.       .       .

Was it Compassion?

Was it Love?

Was it Care and Concern?

Was it for some secret Redemption?

Was it a bargaining to get to some Heavenly Post-Office-Place?

Was it Blind stupidity?

Was it ultimately necessary?

What a S H A M (E), huh?

In more than just, both ways.         .        .

One person’s Heaven might be another’s Hell.         .         .

In Richard’s Heaven,

there would be

M A I L—-Lots of it—-

All handled carefully and respectfully and most of all:

A     L     L             A     N     S     W     E     R     E     D!

MUDDIED WORDS

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imrs-php

It was a moment I’ll never forget.     .      .

She’s an 87 year old lady

on hospice

who looked up from her bed at me

and asked me if it was ok for her to say the word:

“F  *  C  K?”

It rolled so sweetly off her tongue.     .     .

from her lips.       .       .

and I remember distinctly not being able to hold back a smile as I asked,

“Do you need permission to say anything, to me, to anyone?”

“It’s   just   a   word   that   for   all   of   my   life   has   seemed   to   sum   up   everything,”

she said,

“.       .       .when   I’m   mad,   when   I’m   happy,   when   I’m   afraid   and   scared   or   when                         I’m   in   pain.     .     .”

“.     .     .Do   you   think   it’s   wrong.     .     .Do   you   think   I’ll   be   punished   for   it?”

“Was you  intention  ever to hurt someone or embarrass them?”

“Oh  no, never.   .   .I  guess  I  always  said   ‘f * c k’    to  make  me  feel  better.”

“Has it?”

“Always.   .   .it’s my go-to-sum-it-all-up-word.       .        .      .”

Some nearly twenty years later.       .       .

Every time I hear

t  h  e     w  o  r   d

I think of her and smile.       .       .

Back then I didn’t have the

Research

The Studies

The Data

that back up her empirical feelings.       .        .

I’ve swallowed bars of soap.     .     .

Sat in countless  TIME OUT  Chairs.     .     .

Been sent to my room.     .     .

Felt a hand across my face.     .     .

Been embarrassed.     .     .

but it seems that the

c     u     r     s     i     n     g

problem, isn’t a problem at all.

Now this is not a blog post

to condone

to allow

to make ok

to put a stamp of approval on

 m     u     d     d     i     e     d              w     o     r     d     s

but the studies are showing support

for what my hospice patient felt all of those years ago:

THAT   SWEARING  ACTUALLY  RELIEVES  PAIN

.       .       .and isn’t that the real goal of emotional outbursts:

TO   RELIEVE  PAIN ?

Richard Stephens of Keele University in England led a study that measured just how long 67 college students could keep their hands submerged in ice water.       .       .The group of students were encouraged to yell profanities for one controlled testing, and then to use non-swear words while completing the test.     .     .is it surprising that the 67 volunteers endured the cold temperatures for some 40 seconds longer  WHILE  SCREAMING  OBSCENITIES and more, the group actually felt less pain overall.     .      .Stephens even went so far as to say, “I would advise people, if they hurt themselves, to swear.”

Of course, there is a sanitary, clinical term for this:

HYPOALGESIC   EFFECT  OF  SWEARING

Richard Stephens also concluded 10 other reasons why swearing may be good for the Soul:

IT  MAKES  YOU FEEL  STRONGER

IT  ACTUALLY  DOESN’T  MAKE YOU  FEEL  STUPID  OR  IGNORANT

IT  SERVES  AS  A  GREAT  COPING  MECHANISM

IT  HELPS  YOU  FEEL  MUCH  MORE  RESILIENT

IT  REALLY  DOES  MAKE  YOU  FEEL  SO  VERY  MUCH  BETTER

IT’S  MORE  ENGAGING  WHILE  WATCHING  TV  AND  MOVIES

IT  HELPS  CREATE  CLOSE  BONDS  WITH  OTHER  PEOPLE

IT’S   INNATE   AND   EXPRESSIVE

IT   MEANS   YOU’RE   CREATIVE

IT  HELPS  YOU  EMPHASIZE  YOUR  POINTS  

Timothy Jay,  a psychologist at the Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts has spent the last 35 years studying the use of profanities.  He states, “It allows us to vent or express anger, joy, surprise, happiness, grief.     .     .It’s like the horn on your car, you can do a lot of things with that, it’s built into you.     .     .     .”

Maybe all of those years ago.       .       .

without the studies and the research.     .      .

my sweet, hospice patient was right that day.         .        .

After I prayed with her that afternoon,

her blue eyes twinkled with a sly secret

that couldn’t quite hold the surprise any longer

as she reached up and touched the side of my face and said,

“You’re such a nice  f*cking man.      .      .

we laughed for the

b e n e d i c t i o n

and honestly.      .     .

f e l t   better

Legislated Hearts

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images-5

H E A R T      M A P P I N G.        .        .

Have You?

Heart  Mapping

is little exercise that helps illustrate

what’s really important to you.        .       .

Heart  Mapping

was a concept

created by Georgia Heard

to help students

 a     c     h     e

about writing

instead of just merely stringing words together.       .       .

but it should be mandatory for everyone who has a

H E A R T   beat.        .        .

It helps you fill in the spaces of your

H     e     a     r     t  

with

Memories that are the most dear to you.         .         .

People who are most important to you–and why.         .         .

Experiences or events that you will never forget.         .         .

Impactful Happy and Sad Moments you’ve had.         .         .

Secrets that can only be kept in your heart.         .         . 

What would be at the Center of your Heart?

Would you add Colors?

Would you add more than one Heart that overlaps?

Would you have things written around the outside of your heart?

What would be on your Heart Map. . .

that if you could, you’d legislate for the whole world to abide?

Hmmmmmmmm of the Day:

YOU     CANNOT     LEGISLATE    THINGS    OF    THE     HEART

if we could

we’d probably all legislate

a kinder

more compassionate

less judging

more accepting

more loving

less hating

more understanding

more caring

more forgiving

more merciful

more healthy

no cancer,

no pain

no disease

no disappointment

no terminal illness

no homelessness

no addiction

all accepting

w      o     r      l      d.           .           .           

I would legislate that we’d all be

Caring Catalyst’s

who would literally find it impossible to be mean or disrespectful of anyone

and more giving and warmhearted to everyone

.          .          .   h o w e v e r

we can’t legislate hate out of the heart.        .        .

s   o   m   e   h   o   w,

our Heart Map

still has passages

that takes us through some pretty swampy areas

that makes GPS’s tremble and stutter.

We can’t legislate a Heart that accepts and loves all—regardless of

race,

color,

creed,

sexual orientation,

socioeconomics,

o          u          r          s          e          l          v          e          s

If     IT    could happen or come to be just by

writing it down

then our Founding Fathers would have had a way to personify

creating all equal with full rights to Life,

Liberty

and the pursuit of Happiness.        .        .

Maybe.        .        .

m a y  b e

that’s where it all starts?

I can’t do your heart map.         .         .only mine!

We can’t vote in

L   E   G   I   S   L   A   T   O   R   S

or adopt laws or amendments or new Constitutions

b     u     t

by looking at our own heart maps

and continually re-drafting

re-working

R      E      F      I      N      I      N      G

them

and not only Beginning

but better still.        .        .

R E F U S I N G

to end there–

Well now.         .         .

We just might have created–

each of us–

a kind of Heart Map

W I T H O U T     B O R D E R S

It’s a Continent worth reaching

and

s          h          a          r          i          n          g

See you in that never-need-legislating-land-of

T      H      E      R      E

(hopefully soon–very soon)

MAGIC SHIRTS

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I’ve   been   a

f          a          t          h          e          r

for some thirty-seven years

a    n   d

my kids have made me a lot of things

over those years

but aside from making me their

 d          a           d

they   really   made   me   a   great

s        t        o        r        y  –  t        e        l        l        e        r

They would be

stories of encouragement

stories of hope

stories of motivation

stories of life

stories of living

but most of all

stories of the

u  n  c  o  n  d  i  t  i  o  n  a  l      l o v e

I’ve always had for them

and hopefully never made them

d       o       u       b       t

THIS     IS    US

is a new NBC tv Series

that began this year

and it not only talks about

conventional life

but conventional

family life.     .     .

I hate

to this day

when any of my kids

or grandchildren

h          u          r          t

and would do anything

to make it evaporate

or

TELL     IT    AWAY

Like this scene

or more

just  by

s     h     o      w      i     n     g          u     p.        .        .

s              h              a              r              i              n              g   

t h e     h  u r t.      .       .

until the tears dried

or were replaced by even a

h a l f – s m i l e.     .     .

I could do that

with trips to the Mall

A movie with

the extra-big bucket of buttered popcorn

and their own Big Pop

A bag full of penny-candy

A play-ground run

A day at an amusement park

one-on-one dates to Bob Evans

or Caribou Coffee

or a well-timed  s t o r y:

M       A       G       I       C       A       L

So

what’s

your

go  to

s       t       o       r       y  ?

Your Cellular Level

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unknown

What’s Greater.        .        .        ?

An  Academy Award.      .       .

An Olympic Medal.        .       .

A Nobel Prize.            .           .

A  Single  Cell  of  Compassion.             .               .              ?

Japan-born scientist, Yoshinori  Ohsumi

has recently been named as one of the newest

Nobel Prize Winners.     .     .

Ohsumi illuminated a cellular process called,

A  U  T  O  P  H  A  G  Y

or

S E L F – E A T I N G

in which cells

take unneeded or damaging material

including entire

o r a n g e l l e s

and transport them to a

recycling compartment

of sorts–

in yeast cells,

this compartment is called

the  lisosome,

while  vacuoles 

serve a similar purpose in

h u m a n    c e l l s.     .     .

and   this   means   what   to   us.       .       .        ?

Ohsumi figured out a way to observe the inner workings of yeast cells and reveal autophagy inside of them.  He went even further to identify the genes involved in yeast autophagy and to show that similar self-eating mechanisms occur inside human cells.  His discoveries in the 1990’s led to a new understanding of how the cell recycles its contents, opening up a window into the importance of autophagy to several physiological processes and even to understanding certain diseases.  Mutations in autophagy have been linked to diseases such as cancer and neurological disorders like Parkinson’s disease.        .        .        .

and     this     means     what     to     us.       .       .       ?

On a cellular level.     .     .

at    o u r   core

both animals and human beings

have what Dacher Keltner

at the University of California, Berkley,

coins a

compassionate  instinct.        .        .

we are wired for kindness and compassion.       .       .

Compassion is a

natural  and   a u t o m a t i c 

response

that   has   ensured   our   survival.       .       .

Mr Darwin’s message

was not the

survival  of  the  fittest

but rather

s  u  r  v  i  v  a  l        o  f        t  h  e        k  i  n  d  e  s  t

because we need

each   other’s   support

and  care  to  survive  as  a  species.        .        .

Being   a   Caring  Catalyst

is  who  we  can’t  help

but  to  be

but we can

h e l p

it   more.       .       .

and   t h a t

goes way.       .       .w   a   y

deeper   than  a

c e l l u l a r     l  e  v  e  l.        .         .

What’s  Greater.     .     .     ?

An Academy Award.     .     .

An Olympic Medal.     .     .

A Nobel Prize.         .         .

A  Single-Cell of Compassion.     .     .

or    y   o   u   r  

 Single-Cell of contagious Kindness.     .     .

B       E       T             Y       O        U       R              L     I     F     E  

on

I    T

WE is the New I

By 1 Comment

Uh-oh,

there’s another reported case of the Zika Virus in Florida after numerous other reports already.     .     .

Uh-oh,

there’s a young lady,

recently married with brain cancer who is moving from her home in California to Oregon so she can participate LEGALLY   in Physician Assisted Suicide.

Uh-oh,

WE   DON’T  have a problem,  do  WE?

Seriously,

WE    DON’T    HAVE    THE    ZIKA    VIRUS,   do   WE?

T  H  E  Y        D  O !

T      H      E      Y

Always live somewhere else,

or speak different languages,

or have different colored skin.        .        .

T    H    E    Y

Need to live somewhere else;

travel somewhere else;

get sick somewhere else.        .        .

T      H      E      Y

Remind us that we’ve already dealt

and been scared to death

of  Tuberculosis,

Aids,

Polio,

and many other forms of illness and disease.       .       .

Here’s   the   Deal:

The   new   WE

is

I

W  E

are

T      H      E      Y

T           H           E           Y

are

W  E.

T     H     E     Y.       .       .

T      H      E      M.     .     .

is

Y  O  U

is

M  E

Z I K A

is something

W  E

all have;

Everyday,

1479 people die from cancer;

everyday there are 3483 new people diagnosed with it.      .      .

Everyday,

in the United States 895 people die from cancer;

and 2938 are diagnosed with it.      .      .

Cancer is something

W E

all have;

It’s time for

US,

WE,

THEM, ‘

THEY

to become the true

I         of         the        Storm.       .       .

Compassion

S          C          R          E         A         M         S

there is no longer a

T     H     E     Y  

or a

T     H     E     M

or an

I

or a

YOU.        .        .

only   a   WE,

an   US.       .       .

The RESET,

the RESTORE BUTTON

  gets tapped not only when

WE    get    IT.        .        .

But when we

S        H        A        R        E              I        T—–

N   O   W.          .          .

why     couldn’t     we     get     bit     by     a     bug

that  would  infect  us  with

C      O      M      P      A      S      S      I      O      N  

and a horribly, dreaded

E          M          P          A        T          H         Y

that  becomes  an  incurable

e p i d e m i c .     .     .     ?

Best In Show(ing UP)

By 2 Comments

FullSizeRender

This past Wednesday afternoon

there was a small gathering of staff in the Atrium

at David Simpson House House on

East 185th Street

to celebrate a very important

Member of the Hospice Staff

Tallulah

She’s been a therapy dog at The House for the past seven years

and it would be impossible to try to calculate

just how many lives—

patients.    .    .

families.    .    .

staff.       .        .

Tallulah has not just touched

but inspired—

patients.     .     .

families.     .     .

staff.       .        .

to also reach out and

T       O       U       C       H

We all gathered together

and surrounded her in a-not-so-perfect

c            i            r           c           l          e

and while Tallulah was in the center

chewing on a treat

Dr. Kevin Dieter

led us in a unison reading,

TO   LEARN FROM ANIMAL BEING:

Nearer to the earth’s heart, Deeper within its silence; Animals know this world in a way we never will.

We who are ever Distanced and distracted by the parade of bright windows thought opens; their seamless presence is not fractured thus.

Stranded between time gone and time emerging, we managed seldom to be where we are: Whereas they are always looking out from the here and now.

May we learn to return and rest in the beauty of animal being, Learn to lean low, leave our locked minds, and with freed senses feel the earth breathing with us.

May we enter into lightness of spirit, and slip frequently into the feel of the wild.

Let the clear silence of our animal being; cleanse our hearts of corrosive words.

May we learn to walk upon the earth with all their confidence and clear-eyed stillness so that our minds might be baptized in the name of the wind and the light and the rain.      

One   by   One

 each of us

by instinct

rather  than  instruction

left the circle and went into the middle

and gave her our own

little blessing that only

a heart can shout

and a mouth can’t begin to whisper

.          .          .I stood there and noticed

that eyes were weeping

what tissues can’t ever quite absorb

and chose not to think it was some kind of a

meaningful, sincere

G    O   O   D       B   Y   E

as a much more

intentional

devout

T H A N K    Y O U

Tallulah

was making her last visit to the House

but not giving us her

Final Lesson.       .       .

Her Last Lecture

if we are Student enough to

l e a r n:

J      u      s      t

S H O W I N G    U P 

B   E   I   N   G      P   R   E   S   E   N   T

brings a

h   e   a   l   i  n  g

not found in an

intervention

therapy

prescription

plan of care

I V

syringe

pill

capsule

s a l v e.       .       .

And like her.     .     .

makes us the

BEST    IN    SHOW

Willie Morris wrote a book called

MY  DOG  SKIP

The Family Movie came out in 2000

As I was standing in that most sacred-imperfect Circle

the ending scene came to mind:

https://youtu.be/nLKMroK2bA0

Good Bye?

THANK  YOU?

For now

and

for an ever

May the Peace that

Tallulah

has brought to many

now be that

Profound Peace

she’ll  enjoy

f o r e v e r m o r e

as she crosses over

The Rainbow Bridge

but never out of our hearts.

When To G I V E

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always-give-back-@j16Acut-1

No surprise, right?

I mean, it’s  THAT  time of the year, isn’t?

In fact.     .     .

E A C H    T I M E

is   T H A T    T I M E,  

isn’t it?

We see folks standing on road ways,

ramps and street corners

with signs that are asking what we all seem to work so hard for

and don’t ever get to keep enough:

M     O     N     E     Y.      .      .

We’ve all probably been in a place and in a time

where we needed more than what we have in our pockets,

bank accounts,

401k’s.       .       .

I’ve never stood on a corner to ask for money.

I once went on purpose to a soup kitchen;

O N     P U R P O S E,

not to help or serve,

 or clean up,

but to actually eat.     .     .

I wanted to see   I T   from another perspective.

I was treated kindly,

with sympathy and compassion,

but it was very apparent

I was  ONE  OF  THEM

and Not one of THEM,

serving.       .       .

I’ve gotten all of the advice on this matter from both sides:

GIVE Freely

and Never GIVE

under any circumstances.

“GIVE a man a Fish and you feed him for a day; Teach a man to Fish and he eats forever.   .   .   .”

Right?

 Wrong?

Circumstantial?

Enabling?

I have heard,

maybe felt it all.

Three things happened most recently

that I think has settled this for me,

and now maybe you.

We were driving home from school

and my granddaughter was in the back seat of the car.

We came to a Stop Light that had just turned, RED.

On the side of the road was a man who looked like he was wearing everything he owned.

He held a sign that just simply read,

H U N G R Y
P L E A S E    H E L P

I heard a zipper getting UN-zipped

and then the window go down from the backseat.

My 8-yr old granddaughter was handing a dollar to the man with the sign.

I found out,

it wasn’t her first time.

Fast forward a few days ahead. I was in the car and I was in another part of town.

I was getting off of the highway and there on the berm of the road was a guy.

He didn’t have everything on that he owned,

he actually was carrying a ripped backpack.

He was sweaty and his face was smeared.

He was holding a sign that I couldn’t actually read.

Maybe he wrote it in the rain.

It was hot and the letters looked like they were melting together.

Everyone was passing him by.

It was a long line and the Red Light came up at least twice

and now was just turning Green.

He was still 5 car lengths ahead of me.

I looked up.

There was a $20 bill in my sun visor.     .     .

it had been a great week

–F O R    M E.      .      .

I hit the button to the window and it purred down.

I crunched the bill between my fingers

and handed it over to him.

Seriously.          .          .

it was One of THOSE Commercials–

except there was no mention of benefits

to the Card Carrier

And yet.      .      .

still,  it was

P   R   I   C   E   L   E   S   S!

THAT look on his face,

and even with the sounds of afternoon traffic,

I heard him gasp.

I couldn’t see his face from the rearview mirror

as I drove away,

but his head was down, looking,

watching the bill in his hand as if it were going to fly away,

d   i   s   s    o   l   v   e

or just turn into a dollar bill before his eyes.

I wonder what story he’ll tell and to who?

I wonder if he’ll,

weeks,

months,

years from now reflect,

“I remember the time on a hot Summer day when this guy, who I didn’t even think noticed me, rolled down his window and handed me a crunched up $20 bill.”

I wonder.     .     .

if.     .     .

when   I’ll   forget?

And then there was the man

outside of the exit of a

GET-GO STATION

with a sign that read:

I   HAVE  DIABETES

AND  NEED  TO  EAT

I had just filled up my tank

and Erin and I were about

to fill up our stomachs

with a Sub-Sandwich we had just bought.

I rolled down my window and offered him

my still un-wrapped Italian Sub

and he declined my offer

by pulling out his own Sub from

the big bag he had in front of him.      .      .

He gave me a great

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm   Of   The   Day

So finally after a lifetime of waffling

with the   SHOULD   and   SHOULDN’T’S

of  what to do

when faced with an opportunity

of someone imploring

my meek earnings

I think I’ve come to a

S     E     T     T     L     I     N     G :

From now on,

there’ll only be two times when I give:

1) When      I      have     IT

2) When      I      don’t      have     IT

.          .          .A     N     D

What    say    YOU ?

R E M E M B E R i n g

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To the Living

I am Gone

To the Sorrowful

I’ll never return

To the Angry

I was cheated

To the Faithful

I’ve never left

I can’t be seen

but I can still hear

I can’t speak

but I can still listen

so the next time you stand on a shore gazing at a beautiful sea

or look upon flowers to admire their simplicity

R E M E M B E R     M E

in your heart

of the times we fought

the times we cried

the times we laughed

the times we loved

Because if you always think of me

I  WILL  HAVE  NEVER  GONE

When do words become more than words?

.      .      .when they become

a       c       t       i       o       n     s

DAVE & BUSTERS

in Westlake, Ohio

did just that

a couple of weeks ago.

Two of their employees have recently died.

T H E Y

sent condolences.

T H E Y

sent flowers.

T H E Y

bought two benches

with the individuals names and very special sentiments on them

and put them in a very nice garden area right in front of their entrance

T H E Y

invited the members of their families

and their employees to come to

A Celebration Service

in their honors

before work

to  REMEMBER

“Anytime we come together to remember, it’s never long enough. . . “

I began

“It could be around a holiday table

It could be outback at a family reunion

It could be on a sunny morning before work, like this

but anytime we come together to remember–

it’s never long enough.   .   .    .”

“.     .     .but you haven’t come here to remember, have you?  

You’ve come here to be powerfully reminded that you haven’t come here to begin

only continue the celebrations of these two lives

in your lives

for the rest of your lives.  .  .  .”

and then I asked one of the most powerful

ever hard to answer question

that could ever be asked at

any Celebration service:

“WHAT’S   YOUR  FAVORITE  STORY?”

And then the stories of these two lives,

i n t e r m i n g l i n g l y

and were told

RE-MEMBERED

Put back together again

one after another

intermixed with tears

and laughter

and smiles

I reminded them:

“IT’S    NOT   ONE   THING”

.     .     .that the cliche

A  PICTURE  IS  WORTH  A  THOUSAND  WORDS

is   a    l i e

a million, maybe, but not a mere 1000.

I reminded them:

“BUT   YOU   DON’T   NEED   A   PHOTOGRAPH,   DO   YOU ?

I just need to say their names.    .    .

and it’s not a moment

it’s not a memory

it’s not an event

or an occasion

it’s a cascade of all of those things

water falling down over them

shouting for their attention.

DAVE & BUSTER’S

made sure

to show these families and friends

that the only thing more powerful than memories

is the love that makes them

everything they were

everything they are

everything they will forever be

by bringing people together

and making ongoing

new  memories

in the names

of those

we came

to celebrate.  .   .

and what better way to do that?

What Else?

A  BRUNCH!

DAVE & BUSTER’S

are Caring Catalyst’s

Who Cares

What Matters

by showing as long as we think of

T   H  E  M

T   H  E  Y

are never gone

And the Most COMPASSIONIST

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WHAT GET’S IT FOR YOU?

A Movie?

A News Story?

A Song?

A First Act of Witnessed Kindness?

A Rags to Riches Story?

W H A T    G E T S    I T    F O R    Y    O    U ?

What Stomps on your

C O M P A S S I O N     B U T T O N

Like an Elephant’s Foot on Your Aorta?

Is it because you are

Religious

Spiritual

Agnostic

Atheist

+    *    ?

You may not really like this. . .

but when it comes to

C     O     M     P     A     S     S    I    O     N  

uhhhh.      .     .

the more

R      e      L      i      G      i      O      u      S

the less

compassionate.

 LOVE THY NEIGHBOR

turns out to be   less   of a thing for

The Religious

than

 The Less Religious

Researchers from the University of California, Berkeley suggests that the highly religious are less motivated by compassion when helping a stranger than are atheists, agnostics and less religious people.

In three separate experiments, social scientists found that compassion consistently drove less religious people to be more generous.  For highly religious people, however, compassion was largely unrelated to how generous they were, according to the findings which were published in the July issue of the Journal of Social Psychological and Personality Science

Obviously, these results challenge a widespread assumption that acts of generosity are largely driven by feelings of empathy and compassion, researchers said.  In the study, the link between compassion and generosity was found to be stronger for those who identified as being non-religious or less religious.

“Overall, we find that for less religious people, the strength of their emotional connection to another person is critical to whether they will help that person or not,” said UC Berkeley social psychologist Robb Willer, a co-author of the study.  “The more religious, on the other hand, may ground their generosity less in emotion, and more in other factors such as doctrine, a communal identity, or reputational concerns.”

COMPASSION is defined in the study as an emotion felt when people see the suffering of others which then motivates them to help, often at a personal risk or cost.

Y’ O U C H

Now. . .seat belts fastened, please. . .

Professor Willer concludes:

“Overall, this research suggests that although less religious people tend to be less trusted in the U.S., when feeling compassionate, they may actually be more inclined to help their fellow citizens than the more religious. . . .”                      

 (More information: Social Psychological and Personality Science April 26, 2012 doi: 10.1177/1948550612444137)

THE   TAKE ?

It’s    N     O     T

to become

Less Religious

or

More Religious.    .    .

Uhhhhh, how about just simply

to become

more COMPASSIONATE

no matter what!

Borders are overflowing with refugees not so much in search of land than an open heart

Diseases aren’t seeking cures more than open acceptance

Hands are outreaching not so much for food or money so much as returning outstretched hands

The  WHOLE   WORLD

is turning.     .     .running the other way

THE COMPLETING COMPASSIONATE

are SPRINTING

towards the unfavored

.    .    .which DIRECTION

are you

j  e  t  t  i  n  g  ?

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man