https://youtu.be/SQuyCc1Cuac
So just what is in your
L U N C H B O X. . .
Maybe the bigger question is:
just
what
are
you
w i l l i n g
t o
s h a r e. . .
and the greatest question yet:
A R E Y O U ?
A Helper’s High(er)
Have you ever suffered from
A L T I T U D E S I C K N E S S ?
I’m not asking what’s the highest mountain you’ve ever climbed
or if you’ve ever hiked a Pike’s Peak-like trail;
I’m asking did you ever feel the highest of high’s:
A H E L P E R ‘ S H I G H ?
No, it’s not a myth or even a goal to have or aspire. . .
it’s very real and like most real things,
it not only evokes a lot of opinions and theories,
but also a lot of studies that actually present facts.
Take any N D A D. . .
That’s right, a Non-Directed Anonymous Donor. . .these are people who literally walk in off the street and say that they are healthy and would like to donate a kidney; not to a family member or a distant relative or a very close childhood friend. . .NO, to an actual person they have never met and quite possible never will; a true; NON-DIRECTED ANONYMOUS DONOR.
Dr. David Lansburg, director of kidney transplants for British Columbia, Vancouver says that such a donation sets off a chain reaction of giving as well as a saving multiple lives.
You think?
Dr. Abraham Maslow called such acts, witnessed and shared,
P E A K E X P E R I E N C E S. . .
Dr. Jonathan Haidt is a psychologist calls this peak experience ELATION and describes it as a warm feeling in the chest, a sensation of expansion in the heart, an increased desire to help, and increased sense of connection with others.
Well. . .
are you buying THIS a cup of coffee
or treating it like some discarded moldy grounds?
BE YOUR OWN STUDY
You don’t have to go too far back into your own personal photo album to remember,
do you?
If someone yells at you for no good reason, first thing in the morning. . .
it’s sets off a chemical reaction inside of you that would make the most sophisticated Chemistry Sets pale in comparison.
Pssssssssssssssst:
The same is true if you
DO GOOD. . .or even witness good being done!
FACT: When you do even the simplest of kind things, you literally feel happier–because you do; it’s the brain’s natural versions of morphine and heroin–they call it dopamine.
FACT: Kindness gives you a healthier heart. Oxytocin causes the release of nitric oxide which expands the blood vessels, hence, lowering blood pressure.
FACT: Kindess slows down the aging process. The study of Tibetan Buddhist’s Loving Kindness Compassion meditation found that kindness and compassion did, in fact, reduce inflammation in the body.
FACT: Kindness makes for better relationships. Seriously, do you hate seeing an act of kindness or actually having one done to you?
FACT: Kindness is contagious. Let’s go back to our 28 year old Non-Directed Anonymous Donor (NDAD) who walked into a clinic and donated a kidney. It set off a “pay it forward ” type of ripple effect where the spouses or other family members of recipients of a kidney donated one of theirs to someone in need. The “domino effect,” as it is called in the New England Journal of Medicine report, spanned the length and breadth of the United States, where 10 people received a new kidney as a result of a that single anonymous donor.
So. . .
you want to get H I G H ?
Get your kindness on. . .
It’s the one Rock you can throw
that’ll start three ripples with the first skip:
The ripple for the recipient
The ripple for you
The ripple for the one who might see the kindness. . .
One simple act of kindness will get you a one way ticket to a
H e l p e r ‘s H i g h
W A R N I N G:
B E W A R E. . .
T H I S I S H I G H L Y A D D I C T I V E
A True VICTOR
Are you a Victim
or a
V I C T O R ?
Or just a
Chuck,
Erin,
Sam,
Henry,
Danica,
Johnny,
Joe,
an Anybody. . .
Somebody. . .
Nobody. . . ?
About once a month we get free buffets at the Horseshoe Casino
Great Dinner. . .
but the
S E R V I C E
was way beyond ordinary;
V i c t o r
He seated us
and poured out ice teas
and then gave us some complimentary bottled waters. . .
He got real excited when he announced
that he had something very special for us,
and he even more excited
when he brought some special made appetizers. . .
did I mention that this was a b u f f e t
and not some Four-Star restaurant?
He brought us back fancy desserts
that weren’t up on the dessert tray. . .
He couldn’t be more accommodating and kind;
He got a little embarrassed
when I asked him about himself
and how long he had been working here at the casino. . .
He said he loved
w a i t i n g
on people
and that we had been great people to serve. . .
W O W
I was watching the other servers,
but no one was running around like Victor. . .
No one was giving
who they were serving
anything e x t r a. . .
I even saw a few roll their eyes
when someone had left them a less than satisfactory tip. . .
Victor was a most excellent
S E R V E R
A True Caring Catalyst
I gave him a huge tip that night. . .
He was very grateful and very surprised;
I told him that he was most excellent and he
m a d e
our night extra ordinary. . .
I have him a big tip
but he had given me a
t i p
much larger
and even more significant:
S E R V E P E O P L E
MORE THAN THE EXPECT OR DESERVE
WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATION OF ANYTHING IN RETURN
He made me ask a question
a r e a l q u e s t i o n:
Am I more of a
V i c t i m
or a
V I C T O R ?
Victor showed me that no matter what Color
No matter what your Race,
No matter what your Creed,
No matter what your Gender,
No matter what your political Persuasion,
You can still serve others by serving in the best way possible;
Victor showed me that it’s not about
doing for others as you would have them do unto you
so much as serving others as they would like
in a most perfect way. . .
Victor s h o w e d
that it’s not about giving people what they deserve,
it’s about just giving to others
j u s t b e c a u s e
Are you?
Are you more
A Victim
or
A V i c t o r?
Psssssssssssssst:
S H O W M E. . .
better still
S H O W O T H E R S
(lots of them)
o f t e n
T O U C H E D
He was the first AIDS patient I had ever met, let alone visit.
He was in the hospital and I was a part-time Protestant Chaplain.
I HAD TO VISIT HIM
within the first 24 hours of his admittance;
He was sick. . .
very, very sick. . .
It was 1993
He didn’t say he was gay
. . .I didn’t ask.
I introduced myself and explained why I was coming by to visit him.
I asked if he was comfortable and if there were was a Church or someone he wanted me to contact?
He told me that he grew up Catholic and had fallen away. . .
that he never felt comfortable or was made to feel welcome. . .
He told me that
‘t h e s t o r i e s’
didn’t ever make much sense to him
and felt like it was a little late to make any sense of them now. . .
He told me that he was a professional Ice-Skater/Choreographer
and really missed being with his students;
While we talking an Aide brought in his lunch–
Soup. . .
some orange jiggly jello. . .
a toasted cheese sandwich. . .
a carton of milk. . .
and an extra side of sandwich;
There were tears in his eyes which started streaming down his cheeks. . .
and before I could say another word. . .
“THEY do this three times a day. . .
THREE TIMES. . .
and then walk out thinking I can feed myself. . .”
He half laughed as he started sobbing
“JESUS CHRIST. . . I’M IN HERE BECAUSE I CAN’T FEED MYSELF!”
We both started laughing. . .
I opened up his milk carton and put a straw in it and gave him a sip
I cut his toasted cheese sandwich into small squares and gave him a bite
I brought the bowl of soup to his lips so he could sip it
I put a spoon in the jello and brought a small spoonful of jiggle to his mouth
I wiped his chin when another sip of milk dribbled out
and I held his hand
and I held his hand
and I held his hand
and I held his hand
and asked him if he wanted me to offer a prayer. . .
He put his other hand over top of mine
and didn’t look up
for what seemed like a longer than a significant moment could ever hold;
He spoke very slowly and almost in a sigh:
“You know. . .
I can’t remember the last time that anyone has ever touched me without having to. . .
I can’t remember anyone ever touching me without gloves on or wearing protective clothing. . .
I can’t remember. . .
I can’t remember. . .
I can’t remember. . . .”
he said over and over again.
I broke the trance
by asking him again if it would be okay if I offered him that prayer. . .
I’ll never forget what he said next:
“YOU JUST DID”
I said what you usually do a the end of a prayer as I squeezed his hand:
“a m e n”
T O U C E D
It wasn’t the first time
it certainly hasn’t been the last time
but I’m at the very best of me
when I can’t answer,
t r u t h f u l l y
WHO
TOUCHED
WHO ?
The Man on The Moon
https://youtu.be/wuz2ILq4UeA
Are you more of a
V E R B
o r a
N O U N ?
There are lots of Seasons
There are lots of comings and goings
There are lots of Beginnings and Endings
There are lots of Starts and Finishes
There are lots of things that none of those things can compare. . .
L O N E L I N E S S
being just one of them. . .
Loneliness is the only season that lasts all twelve months—
no vacation or holiday.
H O W E V E R
I F
Loneliness were a Disease,
YOU’D be the Cure. . .
I F
Loneliness were a Destination,
YOU’D be the Road from it. . .
I F
Loneliness were a complex Math problem,
YOU’D be the Answer. . .
I F
Loneliness were an Ocean,
YOU’D be it’s Shore. . .
I F
Loneliness were a a Sunset
YOU’D be its Sunrise. . .
I F
Loneliness were a Sentence
YOU’D be its Reprieve. . .
I F
Loneliness were a Verdict
YOU’D be its Appeal. . .
I F
Loneliness were hunger
YOU’D be its Banquet. . .
I F
Loneliness were Thirst
YOU’D be its Oasis. . .
I F
Loneliness were poison
YOU’D be its Antidote. . .
I F
Loneliness were Antarctica
YOU’D be its Equator. . .
I F
Loneliness were a man on the moon
YOU’D be his first Visitor. . .
Y O U
are the Great answer to
Loneliness in all of its forms and guises
I F
You’re more of a
V E R B
than a
N O U N
by just
s h o w i n g u p
instead of just shaking your head and
t a l k i n g i t a b o u t i t . . .
The man on the moon would really like
T H A T . . .
people much,
m u c h closer would, too;
Every Season should have an Ending
after it’s Beginning. . .
Loneliness is the one Season
you can have Effect of
not just ending. . .
but actually making it
e x t i n c t. . .
Are you more of a
V E R B
or a
N O U N ?
SOME ONE
is looking for you to
S H O W T H E M !
F O C U S
in on
t h e m . . .
Make half-way around the world
a
t o u c h
a w a y
All Hands ON. . .
The problem with
H A N D S
is not that we all have them. . .
it’s that they are not always joined;
Our hands c a n
and have done so much on their own. . .
but when they are joined together with other hands
the imagination isn’t vast enough to comprehend
what can be accomplished;
Could have H A N D S joined together
stopped the tragic,
senseless violence that takes place all to often in
Anywhere, USA. . . ?
P E R H A P S
We will never know. . .
but H A N D S joined together can go along way in
providing the
H E A L I N G
What to do. . .
Imperfect hands in an imperfect world. . .
S I M P L E :
H E A L I T !
I’m often. . .
too often reminded
Of the story of a Rabbi who prayed daily that God would make a perfect world in which there would be no hatred, jealousy, pain, disease, pain or problems. One night, God appeared to the Rabbi in a dream and took him on tour of the world made perfect. The Rabbi saw his house, his synagogue, his town. Lions and lambs laid together. Still, the Rabbi was troubled. . .something was missing. “Where am I in this perfect world?” the Rabbi asked. God offered an apologetic answer: “This is the Perfect World you requested. You must understand that you are not perfect, so you cannot be included.”
Now, this is where
I would usually plug in some
facts,
figures,
data
scientific studies
that would prove
K I N D N E S S
is not just an option
it’s a healthier life style. . .
but
sometimes you just don’t need a study
to tell you
what you already know. . .
F A C T :
Terrible. . .
most horrible things take place in our lives and in our World
but they have no relationship on how we live our lives of
Care and Compassion. . .
F A C T :
Expecting the World to treat us fairly
because we are nice people
is like expecting a Bull not to gore us
just because we’re vegetarians. . .
F A C T :
We may never be able to prevent horrible events from happening again. . .
but by coming together
by joining hands
by Unconditionally Caring
by Unrelentlessly being Compassionate
we lessen pain and make the World a better place
N O M A T T E R W H A T
F A C T :
The Future isn’t a place we go to
It’s a Place we Create
F A C T :
By joining hands in Care and Compassion
the Future becomes a much better
P R E S E N T
a more hopeful
N O W
Join me
p l e a s e
oh please oh please oh
p l e a s e
NOT Lives Touched
I became a part-time-on-call-Chaplain at Fairview Hospital in 1988
The hours were from 5 p.m. to 8:00 a.m. five or six days a month,
and it was usually Emergency Room cases
that had me rolling out of my warm bed
on cold winter nights to attend to those crises. . .
It was those catastrophes
that involved car accidents,
shootings,
heart attacks,
still births,
suicides
and some natural caused deaths. . .
I met and cared for many more family members
than I ever did patients in those settings and they taught be
the most important,
the most sacred,
the most intimate,
the most significant,
the most heart-wrenching,
the most profane
the most consecrated,
the most hallowed lesson
I’ve learned in all my 61 years
and had affirmed and validated countless times over since:
IT IS NOT THE LIVES
YOU TOUCH THAT MATTERS. . .
SO MUCH AS THE
L I V E S
T O U C H E D
BECAUSE OF THOSE YOU FIRST HAVE TOUCHED !
It’s a lesson
I’ve learned
re-learned
continuing to learn
and never fully
comprehend
or
understand. . .
and hopefully never will–
even with the very next life I touch
to continue the never-ending
wave. . .
Go ahead. . .
T O U C H A L I F E
Create a Ripple–
try seeing where it ends. . .
or better still. . .
what it starts in yet another person
A Helper’s High
It happened. . .
T H E Y
said it would happen. . .
I T D I D
I can’t run anymore. . .
L I T E R A L L Y—
X-RAYS
don’t lie. . .
they showed my poor 61 year old knees are in reality
9 0
from 8 marathons and countless miles to prepare for them
and more recently,
just running for the
r u n n e r ‘ s h i g h
G O N E
The most painful thing I’ve found out through this
cut off
is that nothing
no thing
not one thing
replicates that high
Not an elipitical
not a weight-lifting
not planks
not water jogging
no steam room
no sauna
no hot tub
uhhhhh-nada
nil
null
aught
zilch/zero/zip/z i p p o
except what’s been there all along. . .
Desmond Tutu once said:
“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”
Nice words. . .
or
T R U T H ?
or. . .
D A R E ?
THE STUDIES
show that generous people are happier and healthier. . .
so why are these acts often questioned and mocked?
Sandi Mann, a psychologist at the University of Central Lancashire went out to prove it, literally, She wrote a book entitled, PAYING IT FORWARD: HOW ONE CUP OF COFFEE COULD CHANGE THE WORLD
Michael Norton, at Harvard Business School paid attention. He offers some of the most convincing evidence, repeatedly finding that people who spend a bigger proportion of their income on others tend to be far happier, in the long run, than spending it on themselves.
What makes it impressive is that Norton has tested this theory all over the world in more than 130 countries from the US to Uganda.
“Across all countries–rich or poor, and in ever every continent–people who gave more tended to be happier people,” he says. For this reason, he thinks the joy of giving appears to be a ‘psychological universal’–a trait that lies at the core of human nature, independent of your culture.”
B A M
Mann has also proven that taking time to help others may even protect you from disease. Over a 30-year study, women who volunteered for a charity were 16% less likely to suffer a major illness during that period–maybe because it actually lowers stress levels, which may also, in turn, boost the immune system.
B A M
Ms. Mann believes heavily in a Helper’s High. . .in fact, as a clinical psychologist, she has often counseled people with depression to try and incorporate small acts of kindness into their therapy. . .she offers that it’s not a cure but it does give a way to contribute–to give back–and that makes them feel good and that they are useful.
I don’t run any longer.
My knees often ache a good bit during the day and throb at night,
but there’s another race I’ve been running all of my life
that often leaves me breathless, too.
And so far. . .
I’ve never gotten tired;
G I V I N G
Paying IT Forward
it turns out
isn’t a Season. . .
It’s a Lifestyle
The Road isn’t crowded. . .
and I’d love the Company–
Join me
You’ll never be the same again
and that Helper’s High
will always have the Clouds looking up
A T Y O U
Best In Show(ing UP)
This past Wednesday afternoon
there was a small gathering of staff in the Atrium
at David Simpson House House on
East 185th Street
to celebrate a very important
Member of the Hospice Staff
Tallulah
She’s been a therapy dog at The House for the past seven years
and it would be impossible to try to calculate
just how many lives—
patients. . .
families. . .
staff. . .
Tallulah has not just touched
but inspired—
patients. . .
families. . .
staff. . .
to also reach out and
T O U C H
We all gathered together
and surrounded her in a-not-so-perfect
c i r c l e
and while Tallulah was in the center
chewing on a treat
Dr. Kevin Dieter
led us in a unison reading,
TO LEARN FROM ANIMAL BEING:
Nearer to the earth’s heart, Deeper within its silence; Animals know this world in a way we never will.
We who are ever Distanced and distracted by the parade of bright windows thought opens; their seamless presence is not fractured thus.
Stranded between time gone and time emerging, we managed seldom to be where we are: Whereas they are always looking out from the here and now.
May we learn to return and rest in the beauty of animal being, Learn to lean low, leave our locked minds, and with freed senses feel the earth breathing with us.
May we enter into lightness of spirit, and slip frequently into the feel of the wild.
Let the clear silence of our animal being; cleanse our hearts of corrosive words.
May we learn to walk upon the earth with all their confidence and clear-eyed stillness so that our minds might be baptized in the name of the wind and the light and the rain.
One by One
each of us
by instinct
rather than instruction
left the circle and went into the middle
and gave her our own
little blessing that only
a heart can shout
and a mouth can’t begin to whisper
. . .I stood there and noticed
that eyes were weeping
what tissues can’t ever quite absorb
and chose not to think it was some kind of a
meaningful, sincere
G O O D B Y E
as a much more
intentional
devout
T H A N K Y O U
Tallulah
was making her last visit to the House
but not giving us her
Final Lesson. . .
Her Last Lecture
if we are Student enough to
l e a r n:
J u s t
S H O W I N G U P
B E I N G P R E S E N T
brings a
h e a l i n g
not found in an
intervention
therapy
prescription
plan of care
I V
syringe
pill
capsule
s a l v e. . .
And like her. . .
makes us the
BEST IN SHOW
Willie Morris wrote a book called
MY DOG SKIP
The Family Movie came out in 2000
As I was standing in that most sacred-imperfect Circle
the ending scene came to mind:
https://youtu.be/nLKMroK2bA0
Good Bye?
THANK YOU?
For now
and
for an ever
May the Peace that
Tallulah
has brought to many
now be that
Profound Peace
she’ll enjoy
f o r e v e r m o r e
as she crosses over
The Rainbow Bridge
but never out of our hearts.
R E M E M B E R i n g
To the Living
I am Gone
To the Sorrowful
I’ll never return
To the Angry
I was cheated
To the Faithful
I’ve never left
I can’t be seen
but I can still hear
I can’t speak
but I can still listen
so the next time you stand on a shore gazing at a beautiful sea
or look upon flowers to admire their simplicity
R E M E M B E R M E
in your heart
of the times we fought
the times we cried
the times we laughed
the times we loved
Because if you always think of me
I WILL HAVE NEVER GONE
When do words become more than words?
. . .when they become
a c t i o n s
DAVE & BUSTERS
in Westlake, Ohio
did just that
a couple of weeks ago.
Two of their employees have recently died.
T H E Y
sent condolences.
T H E Y
sent flowers.
T H E Y
bought two benches
with the individuals names and very special sentiments on them
and put them in a very nice garden area right in front of their entrance
T H E Y
invited the members of their families
and their employees to come to
A Celebration Service
in their honors
before work
to REMEMBER
“Anytime we come together to remember, it’s never long enough. . . “
I began
“It could be around a holiday table
It could be outback at a family reunion
It could be on a sunny morning before work, like this
but anytime we come together to remember–
it’s never long enough. . . .”
“. . .but you haven’t come here to remember, have you?
You’ve come here to be powerfully reminded that you haven’t come here to begin
only continue the celebrations of these two lives
in your lives
for the rest of your lives. . . .”
and then I asked one of the most powerful
ever hard to answer question
that could ever be asked at
any Celebration service:
“WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE STORY?”
And then the stories of these two lives,
i n t e r m i n g l i n g l y
and were told
RE-MEMBERED
Put back together again
one after another
intermixed with tears
and laughter
and smiles
I reminded them:
“IT’S NOT ONE THING”
. . .that the cliche
A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS
is a l i e
a million, maybe, but not a mere 1000.
I reminded them:
“BUT YOU DON’T NEED A PHOTOGRAPH, DO YOU ?
I just need to say their names. . .
and it’s not a moment
it’s not a memory
it’s not an event
or an occasion
it’s a cascade of all of those things
water falling down over them
shouting for their attention.
DAVE & BUSTER’S
made sure
to show these families and friends
that the only thing more powerful than memories
is the love that makes them
everything they were
everything they are
everything they will forever be
by bringing people together
and making ongoing
new memories
in the names
of those
we came
to celebrate. . .
and what better way to do that?
What Else?
A BRUNCH!
DAVE & BUSTER’S
are Caring Catalyst’s
Who Cares
What Matters
by showing as long as we think of
T H E M
T H E Y
are never gone