The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

NOT SO FAST

By Leave a Comment

Was this past year and a half
a complete wash out because of the Pandemic
or were there a few
TAKE-A-WAYS. . .
Your Pandemic Habits May Fade Away—
But the Strength and Wisdom You Gained Won’t. . .

Jamie Ducharme, a frequent journalist for TIME MAGAZINE took a good look at glancing back over the past year to remind us that maybe,
JUST MAYBE
NOT EVERYTHING
wasn’t all bad
and some
ACTUALLY GOOD. . .

Since the pandemic began, the think-piece economy has churned out countless articles about how our world—work, medical care, cities, transit, social interactions—will be different when it finally ends. . .
But will we be different after the pandemic?

Judging by the fact that a New York Times essay titled, “You Can Be a Different Person After the Pandemic” quickly became a meme this past spring, it’s safe to say lots of people have changed over the last year-plus. How the pandemic changed your life, of course, depends very much on how you lived before it. A childless white-collar worker who spent a year at home in sweatpants obviously had a different pandemic experience than a doctor working ICU shifts, or a grocery clerk desperate for adequate PPE, or a single mom struggling to homeschool her kids while also supporting them.

But almost to a person, the pandemic altered some elements of our lives. Old habits, from grabbing coffee with friends to visiting the gym, were suddenly rendered unsafe. New behaviors—masking, social distancing, vigilant hand-washing—rapidly became routine. And in many cases, our personalities or values or temperaments changed too, as a byproduct of extra flexibility and free time, loneliness, fear, stress, awareness of mortality, or any number of other emotions brought on by this seismic event.

Now, as shots go into more arms every day, many of us are standing, blinking into the sunlight, and wondering what happens next. Will we still bake sourdough and tend our houseplants when there are once again other things to do? Will we return to offices, or to our old jobs at all? Will we ever feel safe shaking hands with a stranger, ever pack into a crowded bar without wondering who’s exhaling which germs?

In short. . .
Will we ever get back to where we were
B E F O R E. . .

Humans are adaptable; when our surroundings and circumstances change, so do we. It’s that skill that allowed us to develop new habits during the pandemic in the first place. Mask-wearing is one obvious example—something few people in the U.S. did regularly before March 2020 quickly became second nature for many.

Now, after performing pandemic-era routines for more than a year, they may feel permanent—but Benjamin Gardner, a behavior-change researcher at King’s College London, says people may be surprised by how quickly they fall into their old ways when their circumstances change back to normal. Habits explicitly based on “temporary changes to our situation,” such as wearing a mask in public, will likely be the first to go, Gardner says.

That’s already happening, particularly since the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention relaxed its mask guidance for fully vaccinated people. A May 25 Axios/Ipsos poll found that 45% of people in the U.S. said they always wear a mask outside the home, down from 58% earlier in May. That’s a clear sign that people are abandoning their pandemic-era behaviors, in line with historical examples. One 2009 research review examining public behavior during respiratory disease outbreaks concluded that people are quite willing to tweak their behavior at the most dangerous part of an outbreak, but that willingness fades over time. When the danger passes, we go back to the way we were.

Y I K E S

Routines formed during—but not in direct response to—the pandemic may also slip away once it ends, Gardner says. How you behave is dictated largely by where you are and who you’re with. If the context that cues a behavior stays the same, you’ll likely keep doing it. But if your context changes, so might your actions. If, for example, you used to buy lunch every day from the same salad place near your office, you may find yourself doing that again when you return to in-person work—even if you’ve steadfastly prepped all your meals at home during the pandemic.

Reward is another key element of habit formation. If activities are satisfying or pleasurable, Gardner says, we are logically more likely to do them regularly. But we may find different things rewarding after the pandemic than during it. For example, if you were home 24/7, cooking three meals a day may have felt like a nice pastime. When you’re back in an office, it may begin to feel like a chore. “If something is no longer rewarding, we may stick with it for a while and then slowly taper off,” Gardner says.

For some people, however, the pandemic may have served as a reset button. A 2017 study published in the Quarterly Journal of Economics found that, after a 2014 labor strike kept many commuters from taking the London Underground, about 5% afterward stuck with whatever alternate transport they’d adopted as a replacement. This finding, the authors write, suggests that when people are forced to change course, at least a portion of them find better options and stick with them.

So may be the case post-coronavirus—lots of people have discovered they like remote work and at-home workouts, among other facets of pandemic life, and don’t intend to go back to their old systems. “We’re likely to stick to aspects of our pandemic lifestyles if they can optimize our quality of life,” says Jacqueline Gollan, a psychology professor at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine who researches decision making.

Indeed, while many people are itching to return to their pre-coronavirus lifestyles, others have realized there was a better way to live all along. That helps explain why houses are selling fast and furious as people relocate, and why about half of U.S. workers said in a recent Fast Company/Harris Poll surveythey’re considering changing jobs. All told, about 70% of people said in a 2020 Coravin/OnePoll survey that they’d learned something about themselves during the pandemic and more than half felt embarrassed by what they valued pre-2020.

Some changes may also be outside our control, happening subconsciously in response to the conditions of the last year. Skyrocketing levels of depression and anxiety during the pandemic could lead to lasting, population-level upticks in mental health conditions, as research shows happens after natural disastersand wars.

The extent to which traumatic events have a lasting impact varies widely from person to person, says Karl Pillemer, a professor of human development at Cornell University. Personality matters—some people simply find it easier to bounce back than others—as does someone’s lot in life. Logically, if someone faced great hardship during the pandemic, or lost out on significant future opportunities, they are more likely to bear scars than someone who was comparably well off, Pillemer says.

But even those who were mostly fine during the pandemic may see subtle, lingering changes. The Great Depression is an illustrative example. Like the pandemic, it was a highly disruptive, widespread, and long-lasting event that fundamentally changed the way people lived. And just as many people who lived through the Great Depression maintained values like frugality, the pandemic may leave behind its own fingerprints—perhaps germaphobia, wariness of proximity to strangers or increased comfort with solitude.

“There might be an epidemic of mistrust” after the pandemic, suggests Pillemer. Flawed pandemic responses caused many Americans to lose faith in their elected officials, and trust in the media is at its lowest point in recent history. Arguably more affecting, strangers have been equated with danger during the pandemic. Solitude, in these times, is safe; crowds and social interaction are risky. Particularly for young children learning about the world, Pillemer says, it may take concerted effort to undo that conditioning.

But Pillemer says he is optimistic it can be done. From wars to recessions to terrorist attacks, nearly every generation has faced traumatic events, Pillemer notes. After each, there are some people who face long-term psychological effects, and the mental health system must be set up to recognize and care for them. But the majority of people, Pillemer says, do return to a steady state once the immediate crisis subsides. In many cases, they even grow from it. “People who go through adversity, especially in later life, develop wisdom, ability to regulate their emotions, resilience,” he says. “It is remarkable how resilient people are.”

In fact, research suggests older people weathered the pandemic’s psychological challenges better than younger generations. During the pandemic, adults 65 and older reported lower rates of anxiety, depression, substance use and suicidal ideation than any other age group, according to CDC data. That’s somewhat counterintuitive, given high rates of loneliness and isolation among the U.S. elderly, but that fortitude may come from dealing with difficult situations before. They had a kind of “inoculation against stress,” Pillemer says.

No one would choose to live through a pandemic, and the world has lost a staggering number of lives and livelihoods over its course. Those losses should never be discounted. But for those fortunate enough to come out on the other side, the pandemic may instill this kind of strength, Pillemer says.

So will we be different when we’re no longer living with COVID-19? Yes and no. Most of us will, in all likelihood, return largely to our pre-pandemic norms. We will socialize and commute and eat in restaurants, even if those things feel inconceivable now. Some people will make lasting changes to their lives, both mundane and monumental. And, hopefully, many of us will hold onto lessons learned during this time—such that next time we are faced with difficulty, we may have a better understanding of how we can overcome it.

OR. . .
or NOT

SO. . .
NOT SO FAST. . .
Before moving forward
have a quick look back
take some inventory
DARE
keep some of the things
that made your life
not just bearable
but actually better. . .

NOT SO FAST
. . .don’t just take a quick look back
TAKE A LONG GAWK
and bring along some of the things
that kept you,
Y O U

YOUR MIDNIGHT LIBRARY

By 2 Comments

The Pandemic hasn’t been all BAD. . .
BECAUSE IT HAS GIVEN ME MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO
R E A D
A voracious reader
from the even before I could read
I have loved books
and have loved passing on my
LOVE OF BOOKS
from the very first one
I can ever remember
having

To the one
I just started last night

And the
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
so many in between. . .
which brings me to the opening pages of:

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm:
One of the reasons I’ve always loved reading
is because it
has inspired
WRITING
SPEAKING
FREE-THINKING
that I have no
ON/OFF
Switch
(and one I’m not seeking or ever hoping to find). . .
It’s made my
EYES, HEAR
NOSE, TASTE
EARS, SEE
IMAGINATION, FANTASIZE
IT HAS MADE ME
M E
and my idea of a perfect death
is having
FAMILY
FRIENDS
BOOKS
surrounding me. . .
It allows me
WONDER
as I
WANDER
and to
P O N D E R
even now
AM I MORE
IF/BUT
or
CAN/WILL
KIND OF A PERSON. . .
Y O U ?

So here’s the
D E A L
We have a Pen in our hands
with Blank pages before us
waiting not just for a written word
or a secret message
but that one single sentence
that can only come from
Y O U
THE WORLD
desperately needs to not have written
but
specifically
intentionally
purposely
intimately
R E A D
(NO PANDEMIC NECESSARY)

For BETTER or For WORSE

By Leave a Comment

IT’S BEEN THAT KIND OF YEAR
. . .the kind of year that makes you a little afraid to look
or ask
ARE YOU FOR THE BETTER
ARE YOU FOR THE WORSE

The Rear View Mirror
speculation is already underway
and it may not stop for at least
a real good
LET’S TAKE A LOOK BACK
some fifty years down the road
but here’s what we kind of know
of the
FOR BETTER FOR WORSE
question just over the past
13 Months
of this still
not-completely-over-pandemic. . .

Fifty-seven scientists make predictions about potential positive and negative consequences of the pandemic.

 IGOR GROSSMANN, OLIVER TWARDUS of the Greater Good Science Center compiled a kind of
“LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT THE PAST YEAR AND FIGURE OUT EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.” review.

How do pandemics change our societies? It is tempting to believe that there will not be a single sector of society untouched by the COVID-19 pandemic. However, a quick look at previous pandemics in the 20th century reveals that such negative forecasts may be vastly exaggerated. 

Prior pandemics have corresponded to changes in architecture and urban planning, and a greater awareness of public health. Yet the psychological and societal effects of the Spanish flu, the worst pandemic of the 20th century, were later perceived as less dramatic than anticipated, perhaps because it originated in the shadow of WWI. Austrian psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud described Spanish flu as a “Nebenschauplatz”—a sideshow in his life of that time, even though he eventually lost one of his daughters to the disease. Neither do we recall much more recent pandemics: the Asian flu of 1957 and the Hong Kong flu from 1968.

Imagining and planning for the future can be a powerful coping mechanism to gain some sense of control in an increasingly unpredictable pandemic life. Over the past year, some experts proclaimed that the world after COVID would be a completely different place, with changed values and a new map of international relations. The opinions of oracles who were not downplaying the virus were mostly negative. Societal unrest and the rise of totalitarian regimes, stunted child social development, mental health crises, exacerbated inequality, and the worst economic recession since the Great Depression were just a few worries discussed by pundits and on the news. 

Other predictions were brighter—the disruptive force of the pandemic would provide an opportunity to reshape the world for the better, some said. To complement the voices of journalists, pundits, and policymakers, one of us (Igor Grossman) embarked on a quest to gather opinions from the world’s leading scholars on behavioral and social science, founding the World after COVID project. 

The World after COVID project is a multimedia collection of expert visions for the post-pandemic world, including scientists’ hopes, worries, and recommendations. In a series of 57 interviews, we invited scientists, along with futurists, to reflect on the positive and negative societal or psychological change that might occur after the pandemic, and the type of wisdom we need right now. Our team used a range of methodological techniques to quantify general sentiment, along with common and unique themes in scientists’ responses.

The results of this interview series were surprising, both in terms of the variability and ambivalence in expert predictions. Though the pandemic has and will continue to create adverse effects for many aspects of our society, the experts observed, there are also opportunities for positive change, if we are deliberate about learning from this experience.

Three opportunities after COVID-19

Scientists’ opinions about positive consequences were highly diverse. As the graph shows, we identified 20 distinct themes in their predictions. These predictions ranged from better care for elders, to improved critical thinking about misinformation, to greater appreciation of nature. But the three most common categories concerned social and societal issues. 

bar graph showing the potential positive consequences of the pandemic

1. Solidarity. Experts predicted that the shared struggles and experiences that we face due to the pandemic could foster solidarity and bring us closer together, both within our communities and globally. As clinical psychologist Katie A. McLaughlin from Harvard University pointed out, the pandemic could be “an opportunity for us to become more committed to supporting and helping one another.” 

Similarly, sociologist Monika Ardelt from the University of Florida noted the possibility that “we realize these kinds of global events can only be solved if we work together as a world community.” Social identities—such as group memberships, nationality, or those that form in response to significant events such as pandemics or natural disasters—play an important role in fostering collective action. The shared experience of the pandemic could help foster a more global, inclusive identity that could promote international solidarity.

2. Structural and political changes. Early in the pandemic, experts also believed that we might also see proactive efforts and societal will to bring about structural and political changes toward a more just and diversity-inclusive society. Experts observed that the pandemic had exposed inequalities and injustices in our societies and hoped that their visibility might encourage societies to address them.

Philosopher Valerie Tiberius from the University of Minnesota suggested that the pandemic might bring about an “increased awareness of our vulnerability and mutual dependence.” 

Fellow of the Royal Institute for International Affairs in the U.K. Anand Menon proposed that the pandemic might lead to growing awareness of economic inequality, which could lead to “greater sustained public and political attention paid to that issue.” Cultural psychologist Ayse Uskul from Kent University in the U.K. shared this sentiment and predicted that this awareness “will motivate us to pick up a stronger fight against the unfair distribution of resources and rights not just where we live, but much more globally.”

3. Renewed social connections. Finally, the most common positive consequence discussed was that we might see an increased awareness of the importance of our social connections. The pandemic has limited our ability to connect face to face with friends and families, and it has highlighted just how vulnerable some of our family members and neighbors might be. Greater Good Science Center founding director and UC Berkeley professor Dacher Keltner suggested that the pandemic might teach us “how absolutely sacred our best relationships are” and that the value of these relationships would be much higher in the post-pandemic world. Past president of the Society of Evolution and Human Behavior Douglas Kenrick echoed this sentiment by predicting that “tighter family relationships would be the most positive outcome of this [pandemic].” 

Similarly, Jennifer Lerner—professor of decision-making from Harvard University—discussed how the pandemic had led people to “learn who their neighbors are, even though they didn’t know their neighbors before, because we’ve discovered that we need them.” These kinds of social relationships have been tied to a range of benefits, such as increased well-being and health, and could provide lasting benefits to individuals. 

Post-pandemic risks

How about predictions for negative consequences of the pandemic? Again, opinions were variable, with more than half of the themes were mentioned by less than 10% of our interviewees. Only two predictions were mentioned by at least ten experts: the potential for political unrest and increased prejudice or racism. These predictions highlight a tension in expert predictions: Whereas some scholars viewed the future bright and “diversity-inclusive,” others fear the rise in racism and prejudice. Before we discuss this tension, let us examine what exactly scholars meant by these two worries. 

bar graph showing the potential negative consequences of the pandemic

1. Increased prejudice or racism. Many experts discussed how the conditions brought about by the pandemic could lead us to focus on our in-group and become more dismissive of those outside our circles. Incheol Choi, professor of cultural and positive psychology from Seoul National University, discussed that his main area of concern was that “stereotypes, prejudices against other group members might arise.” Lisa Feldman Barrett, fellow of the American Academy of Arts & Sciences and the Royal Society of Canada, echoed this sentiment, noting that previous epidemics saw “people become more entrenched in their in-group and out-group beliefs.”

2. Political unrest. Similarly, many experts discussed how a greater focus on our in-groups might also exacerbate existing political divisions. Past president of the Society for Philosophy and Psychology Paul Bloom discussed how a greater dismissiveness toward out-groups was visible both within countries and internationally, where “countries are blaming other countries and not working together enough.” Dilip Jeste, past president of the American Psychiatric Association, discussed his concerns that the tendency to view both candidates and supporters as winners and losers in elections could mean that the “political polarization that we are observing today in the U.S. and the world will only increase.”

These predictions were not surprising—pundits and other public figures have been discussing these topics, too. However, as we analyzed and compared predictions for positive and negative consequences, we found something unexpected. 

The yin and yang of COVID’s effects

Almost half of the interviewees spontaneously mentioned that the same change could be a force for good and for bad. In other words, they were dialectical, recognizing the multidetermined nature of predictions and acknowledging that context matters—context that determines who may be the winners and losers in the years to come. For example, experts predicted that we may see greater acceptance of digital technologies at home and at work. But besides the benefits of this—flexible work schedules, reduced commutes—they also mentioned likely costs, such as missing social information in virtual communication and disadvantages for people who cannot afford high-speed internet or digital devices. 

Amid this complexity, experts weighed in on what type of wisdom we need to help bring about more positive changes ahead. Not only do we need the will to sustain political and structural change, many argued, but also a certain set of psychological strategies promoting sound judgment: perspective taking, critical thinking, recognizing the limits of our knowledge, and sympathy and compassion.

In other words, experts’ recommended wisdom focuses on meta-cognition, which underlies successful emotion regulation, mindfulness, and wiser judgment about complex social issues. The good news is that these psychological strategies are malleable and trainable; one way we can cultivate wisdom and perspective, for example, is by adopting a third-person, observer perspective on our challenges.

On the surface, the “it depends” attitude of many experts about the world after COVID may be dissatisfying. However, as research on forecasting shows, such a dialectical attitude is exactly what distinguishes more accurate forecasters from the rest of the population. Forecasting is hard and predictions are often uncertain and likely wrong. In fact, despite some hopes for the future, it is equally possible that the change after the pandemic will not even be noticeable. Not because changes will not happen, but because people quickly adjust to their immediate circumstances. 

The future will tell whether and how the current pandemic has altered our societies. In the meantime, the World after COVID project provides a time-stamped window into experts’ apartments and their minds. As we embrace another pandemic spring, these insights can serve as a reminder that the pandemic may lead not only to worries but also to hopes for the years ahead.

FOR BETTER OR WORSE. . .
that’s not really the biggest question, is it. . . ?
The BIGGER question is
FOR YOU
What’s been the greatest take aways
that’s made you list all of the
FOR BETTER’S
FOR WORSE’S
. . .that’s right,
WHAT SAY YOU?
(That’s what matters most going forward in your World History Book)
Has it been the kind of year that’s had you being more
Caring
Compassionate
Patient
Tolerant
Understanding
Forgiving
Accepting
Loving
Selfish
Self-Centered
Greedy
Hoarding
(fill in the blank)__________________________

Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
It most likely won’t take 50 years of review
to figure
T H A T
o u t. . .



A Year in Review

By Leave a Comment

set of paper calendars with months on pink background
Photo by Olya Kobruseva on Pexels.com

NEW YEAR’S DAY
isn’t always JANUARY 1. . .
In fact
this past year there were a lot of
NEW YEAR’S DAY
almost every day
as we dealt with the
COVID Pandemic. . .
How do you think we’ve done
. . .HOW HAVE YOU DONE

It seems that each grain of sand
through the Hour Glass
has answered THAT
Q U E S T I O N
Now
there’s some evidence based data out
from this past year
and our roller coaster trip through it. . .

World Happiness Report Shows How We Weathered the Pandemic

Around the world, trust and generosity helped us cope with crisis.

 KIRA M. NEWMAN a free lance reporter for Greater Good shares that throughout 2020, researchers called people across nearly 100 countries to ask how they were doing. 

Results are being shared today in the 2021 World Happiness Report, which might seem like a misnomer given all the anxiety, grief, and general unhappiness that we experienced last year. But their survey told a surprising story, one of “almost astonishing resilience,” according to the report. 

Yes, we experienced more sadness, worry, and stress in 2020 than in previous years. However, on average, there was no change in our positive feelings, or our satisfaction with life. While lockdowns, uncertainty, and loss hit our mental health hard last spring, there’s evidence to suggest that many people recovered over the course of the summer and fall. 

The secret ingredient? Our trust in each other seems to have been crucial in weathering this crisis, both as individuals and as societies. 

Bouncing Back

The World Happiness Report ranks the happiest countries based on a simple question: on a scale of 0-10, with the best possible life for you as 10 and the worst one as 0, where do you stand? 

As in years past, the Scandinavian countries ranked as the happiest in the world, with Finland, Iceland, Denmark, and Switzerland at the top in 2020. As economist Baron Richard Layard of the London School of Economics explained in a Greater Good interview conducted in the wake of the 2018 World Happiness Report:

We should learn from the Scandinavian countries, which are uniformly happier than, for example, the U.K. or the United States. There are important lessons to be learned: You don’t have to turn your back on economics, but it’s not the be-all end-all. Human relationships are extremely important and need to be given a great deal of attention—we shouldn’t sacrifice them in the name of economic efficiency. Neither should we sacrifice human relationships at work, give up our work-life balance, or drive our children crazy at their high schools.

The researchers also ask participants about their experiences the day before, including positive emotions (whether they smiled, laughed, or felt enjoyment) and negative ones (whether they felt worried, sad, or angry). While positive emotions didn’t change in 2020 compared to previous years, more people felt worried (42%, up from 38%) and sad (26%, up from 23%).

When researchers drilled down to look at surveys conducted over the course of 2020, some hopeful patterns emerged. 

Around the beginning of lockdowns, when many of the first studies were done, the shock to our mental health was clear. We felt anxious, depressed, traumatized, and lonely. But studies that followed people over the summer and into the fall began to look more positive. 

One U.K. study identified several different trajectories that people followed. Nearly 23% had poor mental health in April and September, continuing to struggle as the pandemic dragged on. These were more likely to be young people, women over 65, and people who lost work during the year. Another 21% struggled in April but improved significantly by September. And over 40% of people were able to cope with the pandemic relatively well at both times. 

Similarly, a study in the United States saw overall improvements in people’s anxiety, depression, and stress across the middle of 2020. After peaking near the beginning of April, mental health problems gradually lessened over time before stabilizing around July. Overall, the United States ranked 14th in happiness in the world, up from 18th in 2019, rating life overall as just over a 7 on a scale of 0-10.  

Happiness is local

At an even more granular level, our emotions seem to shift day by day based on what’s happening in our local area. 

For example, the report’s analysis of the social network Sina Weibo (similar to Twitter) found that on days with more new COVID-19 cases in China, Weibo users expressed lower happiness. This dip was less dramatic when stricter lockdown policies were in place, perhaps because people felt more protected or hopeful for the future. On days when more people recovered from COVID, users expressed more happiness online. 

Researchers also used Google searches to investigate people’s moods in Hong Kong, Japan, South Korea, and Taiwan. On days with more new COVID cases in the country, people’s searches were more negative, touching on topics like apathy and fear. Again, stricter lockdown policies seemed to offset fears about rising case counts. And when more COVID patients recovered that day, people’s searches weren’t as frantic. 

What makes us this resilient, even if it feels like we’re not? 

Across the world, people tend to believe their lives are going better when they have money, health, and someone to count on, and when they’re generous to others. More satisfied people feel free to make life decisions and confident in public institutions. These factors still mattered in 2020, but the pandemic seemed to shift their importance slightly. While income became less important to happiness, for example, being generous became more important.  

We need trust in a crisis

In fact, the authors write, one of the reasons why we showed so much resilience may have been the trust that many people have in their communities. To gauge that trust, researchers ask people around the world whether they believe their lost wallet would be returned by a neighbor, stranger, or police officer. Answering yes to that question seems to be vital to well-being—even more so than being employed or having high income. 

This year, our sense of trust was deepened when we saw the young helping the old, people coming together online for support, and others creating care packages for health care workers. The authors write:

The pandemic has provided many chances to see the kindness of others. If seeing these kindnesses has been a pleasant surprise, then the resulting increase in perceived benevolence will help to offset the more widely recognized costs of uncertain income and employment, health risks, and disrupted social lives.

If this all sounds like too rosy a picture, it might be. Forced to conduct phone surveys, the World Happiness Report may not have reached the populations hit hardest by the pandemic—those in nursing homes and prisons; the homeless; the burned-out, working, homeschooling parents who have no time for a telephone call. And while we showed resilience as a globe, it was uneven. In many ways, the pandemic seems to have exacerbated existing inequalities in people’s health and well-being. And it’s not over yet. 

Among its many disruptions to our lives, COVID has brought the topic of mental health to the fore. “Mental health has quickly risen high on policymakers’ and researchers’ agenda,” the report authors observe. Going forward, mental health will continue to be an important part of the conversations in our families, our communities, and our governments.

So what’s it all mean. . .
what’s our takeaway
in a year where everyday seemed like a
NEW YEAR
but without the confetti
. . .it often brought about
everything opposite of what we know and experience about
joy
happiness
security
hope
confidence
togetherness
caring
compassion
empathy
L I V I N G

Often can’t be measured
ONLY FELT
which may mean that the greatest
TAKEAWAY
just might be the biggest
GIVEAWAY:


SEASONS OF LOVE

By Leave a Comment

525600 minutes, 525600 moments so dear, 525600 minutes, how do you measure, measure a year? in daylights, in sunsets? In midnights or cups of coffee? In inches? In miles? In laughter or strife? In 525600 minutes? How do you measure a year in the life? How about love How about love How about love Measure in love Seasons of love Seasons of love 525600 minutes, 525600 journeys to plan. 525600 minutes. How do you measure the life of a woman or man? In truths that she learned or in times that he cried. In bridges he burned, or the way that she died. It’s time now to sing out tho’ the story never ends. Let’s celebrate. Remember a year in the life of friends. Remember the love. Remember the love. Measure, Measure the love. Seasons of love, seasons of love

It’s a rear view mirror no one wants to look
or even give a quick glance
as we recall this past year
365 days
525600 minutes
315360000 s e c o n d s
I’ve loved the play
R E N T
ever since it’s come out
and have seen it already a half a dozen times
and won’t tell you
how many times
I’ve watched the movie
or just listened endlessly to the
Soundtrack
but this is the song
especially this past year
that’s kept boomeranging back to me
at different times
when I’ve searched for my
p l a c e (s)
in an ever unfurling
NEW NORMAL

Where we’ve searched
tried to find
how we can be all things to all people
while trying to figure out who we are
T O D A Y

YOUR TAKEAWAY
over these past
525600 minutes. . .
Seriously
in these shake-up-the-snow-globe-world
we’re living in
have you measured these
525600 moments
in daylights, in sunsets,
in midnights or cups of coffee,
in inches, in miles,
in laughter or strife
or LOVE. . .
Here’s hoping they continue to be measured
in Love
(The Only Season that Matters)

WE BELONG TOGETHER

By 2 Comments

M U S I C
at it’s best will do much more than just
make your foot tap
or your head, bob. . .
it’ll literally make your
H E A R T B E A T
d i f f e r e n t l y
. . .and not just for a while–
for an e v e r. . .

I love the simpleness and yet significances of JJ Heller’s music

For years J J’s timeless love song,
“THE BOAT SONG”
 has been played at weddings and funerals in slideshows.
I loved this quirky, homemade video featuring
many pairs of found objects to match her lyrics
but like most songs I’m not so sure we get the
message in the message:

WE BELONG TOGETHER

It’s not just about finding the love of your life
It’s not just about being silly and funny for someone
It’s not just about love and truly
BEING IN IT

. . .Oh it is about relationships. . .

It’s about
BELONGING. . .
TOGETHER

B E L O N G I N G

I love the quote from Mother Teresa
(now Saint Teresa of Calcutta)
where she said the biggest threat to us and our world was that people don’t feel as though they BELONG. . .

“IF WE HAVE NO PEACE,” she said, “IT IS BECAUSE WE HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT WE BELONG TO EACH OTHER.”

We’ve all felt it before, haven’t we:
DO I BELONG
or
WHERE DO I BELONG ?

It hits us at our heart level
It’s more real than typed or spoken word
It’s more desperate than our next breath or heartbeat. . .
B E L O N G I N G

We want to
BELONG,
TOGETHER,
o f t e n
again and again
for an ever. . .

and here’s the best part:
WE HAVE THE POWER
to not only include others
but to actually make them feel
THEY BELONG

Each of us gets to decide whether we want to name-call, gaslight, sow fear or whether we really want to elevate, empower, life others up
I N C L U D E

Let our Caring Catalyst Message be:
“COME HERE
YOU ARE WELCOME
YOU BELONG”

We are all vulnerable
We are all human
WE ALL BELONG TOGETHER. . .

See. . .
I told you it was more than just a love song
. . .this is a pure
PANDEMIC BUSTER
A HUMAN UNIFER
(and none too soon)
Hum along
and more
. . .put the
P E P
in another’s
S T E P

THRIVING Surviving

By Leave a Comment

EVERYTHING THAT’S BEEN UNRAVELING
OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKS
AND NOW FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE. . .
well, it’s enough to make your head explode;
S O :

How DO YOU Keep the Greater Good in Mind During the Coronavirus Outbreak

In the midst of our panic around COVID-19, we must look to each other to help us get through it.

Recently, journalist  JILL SUTTIE wrote an article that gave us a peek about how we can do better doing better. . .

Should we expect more cooperation and compassion in the face of an epidemic? Because, contrary to popular belief, crises often tend to bring out the best in people. A report that looked at how people responded during the September 11th Twin Tower attacks showed that people bent over backwards to help others escape, sometimes at great personal risk to themselves. Other reports on the aftermath of natural disasters show that strangers will stick out their necks for each other to help.

While it’s true that sometimes disasters can lead to a minority taking advantage of the situation—for example, stealing people’s possessions when they have to leave their house—this is not a common response, much as it grabs headlines. Instead, when we face a common enemy, like an epidemic, we are more likely to pull together for the benefit of everyone.

Notice how many young and healthy people are taking seriously the need to wash their hands frequently, cover their mouths when they cough, stay home when sick, or wear masks when in public. Sure, no one wants to get sick—but, at the same time, no one wants to be responsible for making others sick. 

In fact, research shows that protecting others is a huge motivator for doing the right thing. For example, one study looked at what prompts handwashing behavior in hospital doctors and nurses. Researchers found that signs saying, “Hand hygiene prevents patients from catching diseases,” were more effective at prompting handwashing than signs simply saying, “Hand hygiene prevents you from catching diseases.” In other words, appealing to the health care workers’ altruistic care for their patients was more effective than appealing to their self-interest.

In fact, it may simply be human nature to be kind and helpful when others need us. In one recent study, children only four to five years old who were told that resisting a treat would benefit another child were better able to delay gratification than children told their actions would only affect themselves. Similarly, babies as young as 19 months old were willing to give food away to someone who appeared to need it, even when hungry themselves. 

Of course, not everyone acts altruistically in these situations. So, what makes it more likely they will, and how can we use that to our advantage? Here are four ways we can encourage more altruism for fighting the virus.

1. Look to the heroes

There will always be heroic efforts in a disaster—people who sacrifice themselves for the good of others. Think of the health care workers who are treating people infected with this virus at great personal risk. Or those infected with the virus who voluntarily isolate themselves for weeks to protect the public.

When we hear stories of these people, we feel what is called moral elevation—a warm feeling inside that inspires us, fueling optimism and a desire to act altruistically ourselves. While the temptation might be to focus on fear and everything going wrong, we can redirect our attention to those who are doing the right thing, which will lead us to be better citizens ourselves. 

2. Stay calm and focused

It’s easy to be lost in fear when disaster strikes. However, it doesn’t help anyone to stir up panic about the situation, because we don’t think as clearly when we are in emergency mode. You can see how this has played out already, as people have been stockpiling masks and creating a shortage that could affect the people who truly need them—those who are sick and need masks to avoid spreading the disease to the rest of us.

How can we stay calmer and make wiser choices? One way is to use whatever tools you have at your disposal for keeping a cool head—like practicing mindfulness, which has been shown to both lessen emotional reactivity and help us make better decisions. We might take a walk in the park or nearby woods and let nature soothe us. Or we could talk to a friend—a calm friend, that is—who can help us reduce our anxiety.  

Of course, our normal ways of connecting socially—like singing together at a concert or going to large parties—may have to change. But whatever we can do to maintain an air of calm, and to spread it to those around us, the better. After all, our emotions tend to be contagious in our social circles, and we should do our best to keep fear and panic contained. 

3. Show gratitude

One of the kindest things we can do is to say “thank you” to those who are doing what they can to fight the outbreak. As with my son’s university, it doesn’t hurt to send a message of thanks to people and organizations that are doing the right thing—whether it’s a tour group that offers refunds for cancelled trips, the neighbor who delivers a spare mask to you, or viral experts who give you straight-up information on how to stay safe.

When we show gratitude toward others, we let them know that their actions matter, which encourages more of the same kind of behavior—not only toward the grateful person but to others. Creating a cycle of altruism is helpful when we are faced with a challenge that affects us all, helping to foster trust in each other and care for each other’s plight.

4. Remember our common humanity and show compassion

When we are fearful, our first instinct might be to cast blame on others or to indulge in prejudice toward groups we see as responsible. News reportsalready show that some people of Asian descent in the United States are finding themselves shunned or the victims of racist profiling, simply because the virus appears to have originated in China. Though we might rationally know that no one person or country can be blamed for a viral outbreak, our minds still seek simple explanations. 

Research suggests that when we recognize our common humanity and show compassion, we are more likely to pull together and to solve issues that may be complex in nature. You can start by giving yourself some compassion, which can help you become more willing to admit mistakes and take steps to correct them. This is important, as human error can be costly when there is a viral outbreak, and we need to work together to learn from our mistakes. 

Of course, all of these guidelines don’t supplant the importance of practicing good hygiene. We need to continue to frequently wash our hands and avoid touching our faces, so that we can lessen the chance of infecting ourselves and others. But we also should remember our
 social hygiene—looking for the heroes, staying calm ourselves, being grateful, and remembering our common humanity. In this way, we can help to make the world safer for all of us.

Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
You don’t need a crystal ball to know that
it doesn’t matter what you hold in your hand
so much as how you extend what you hold
to others. . .
DO THAT
and the immediate
the most intimate
World around you
not only becomes richer;
you become priceless
Y O U
T H R I V E
S U R V I V I N G

Make JUST ONE Happy

By Leave a Comment

Commercials have just one purpose and one purpose only, don’t they?

TO SELL. . .LOTS!

To be sure, it costs lots to advertise so there is much done to assure that the very highest returns are going to be about as guaranteed as possible.

Commercials during the Holidays have the same, purpose–to SELL–unless. . . .

I remember listening to Jimmy Durante in my grandparents home. We use to make fun of his album covers and his humongous “S C H N O Z.”

I remember, in particular this song, MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY

I remember, in particular being told that IT was the easiest thing to do–make someone happy.

I remember, in particular being SHOWN IT was the easiest thing to happen–being made happy.

We often get it wrong, don’t we? We think that it’s a huge World-wide project–it’s NOT.

It’s NOT about the World or a Country. . .

It’s NOT about a State or a Town. . .

It’s NOT about a neighborhood or even the street you live on. . .

IT is just about A Person!

Just ONE SINGLE PERSON. . .

The ONE closest to you,

The next ONE meet,

The next ONE you happen to run into wherever you might be.

NO ONE ELSE CAN DO FOR ANOTHER WHAT IT IS THAT YOU CAN DO!

(That should be enough to make your HAPPY SELF spill over and splash many who happen to be in YOUR Range)

Commercials have just one purpose and only one purpose. . .until they don’t. . .and then you don’t so much buy, but BUY IN.

Here’s to BUYING IN to what Amazon Prime never stocks and Coca-Cola will never quite quench–that which seems so very much enhanced this time of the year: HAPPINESS!

May it be that one PANDEMIC that we never recover–whatever the Season.

May it be that YOU are an infected carrier for which there is no antidotes, medications, interventions or cures.

MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY

And then try, defy yourself NOT to be Happy as well.

Now THAT’S a Ripple that’s endless–

Look at YOU!

Love Epidemic

By Leave a Comment

images-1

Have you been Ebola-ized yet?

The World once again seems to be on guard for another epidemic awaiting to pounce.

A NYC Dr. has just been diagnosed with Ebola within the past hour.

We’re afraid. . .once again. . .

but it certainly IS NOT the first time.

I don’t remember his name. . .

but I’ll never forget his SELFLESS LOVE.

It was about 18 years ago and he had been with his partner for nearly 12 years.

He had AIDS.

He was dying.

His father was a Southern Baptist minister who actually believed that AIDS was God’s righteous punishment for homosexuality. He had said that his son was already dead to him and that he had no place in his house or his life unless he “REPENTED.”

What’s worse than a young man in his mid-thirty’s dying of AIDS?

A man in his mid-thirty’s who’s dying of AIDS and has to choose between staying with his partner UNTIL DEATH DO THEM PART or reuniting with his judgmental, YOU’RE-GOING-TO-GO-STRAIGHT-TO-HELL-UNLESS-YOU-ATONE-IMMEDIATELY-FOR-YOUR-DISCRECTION family.

True love never really has to choose. . .

It only needs to recognized that it has chosen YOU.

. . .Often it is not.

After much painful discussions and ultimately even more daring decisions, the AIDS-Infected Prodigal son returned to the home of his parents to be reunited with them.

He went home as his last gift FOR THEM.

He and his partner agreed, that there love didn’t need explained or proven, that in fact, it had COMPLETED THEM.

What they further agreed upon was that his parents needed to have their son return so that they could actually grieve his death in a much more acceptable way.

So home he went. . .

R E P E N T A N T

He died in the care of his parents.

LOVE as a VERB.

. . .A very SELF-LESS ONE.

We’ve had many epidemics hit the world–even in our current lifetimes.

What about Love?

The DIS-EASE OF LOVE?

The EPIDEMIC OF LOVE?

The highly contagious. . .

The Severely communicable. . .

The Intensively contractable. . .

The Unimaginable transmittable. . .

Dis-Ease. . .pandemic outbreak of pure, undefiable, unadulterated

L O V E ?

It’s never death that parts us. . .

It’s life without love–unconditional–that keeps us separated; segregated,

I N C O M P L E T E D.

Here’s to a HOPEFUL Love Epidemic. . .

Here’s that we each may be infested with the Dis-Ease of Love. . .

That we may intentionally, purposely INFECT others. . .

That we may make it airborne. . .

That we may leave no lung without it’s air. . .

That we may become terminal. . .

Now. . .

Then. . .

For an ever. . . .

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man