The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

GREAT-FULL-NESS

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piglet_gratitude_(1)

It’s Thanksgiving

A       G       A        I        N

Tomorrow.      .      .
in the middle 
of a world
of a time
that literally feels totally 
O U T
oF
cOnTrOl
I  T
 begs  the 
q  u  e  s  t  i  o  n
(almost in a mocking tone)

Are you full of

G R E A T    F U L L    N E S S ?

Bet the Turkey Farm

YOU   ARE;

ONCE AGAIN 

family and friends will gather together to eat,

watch football,

talk,

remember,

laugh,

cry,

drink,

eat again,

watch movies,

play games,

take naps,

shop and.        .        .

Guess what?

It’ll do more than add pounds or inches.       .       .

Your Gratefulness

will multiply

Your  GREAT – FULL – NESS

in a huge way;

For starters–it’ll make you feel better–literally.

WebMD reports that Gratefulness

is linked with more of a
Full-glass-over the rim

feeling of Optimism,

which boosts your immune system.        .        .

GREAT – FULL – NESS

It lowers your Blood Pressure and Cholesterol so says a 2007 study on the health benefits of giving back and being Thankful.  The American Journal of Cardiology showed that appreciation and positive emotions are linked with changes in heart rate variability.        .        .

GREAT – FULL – NESS

Who doesn’t want to sleep better?

Experts suggests that expressing what you’re Thankful for will help you actually sleep better.   .   .Researchers found that when people spent 15 minutes jotting down what they’re grateful for in a journal before bedtime, they fell asleep faster and stayed asleep longer, Psychology Today, reported.        .        .

GREAT – FULL – NESS

According to The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, gratitude could also boost pro-social behaviors, like helping other people who have problems or lending emotional support to another person.  .  .

GREAT – FULL – NESS

WebMD reported that negative events can boost gratitude, and that gratitude can help to boost feelings of belonging and decrease feelings of stress.  Their survey showed that feelings of gratitude were at high levels after 9/11.       .       .

GREAT – FULL – NESS

Pssssssst: We are all Grateful

for many things.        .        .

We are all

G R E A T  F U L L

for many things.        .        .

So somewhere between the turkey,

dressing,

potatoes

and pie and everything else that comes with it—-

if you find the

Z  I  P  P  E  T  Y

Going  out  of   Your

D O – D A H.        .        .

Sing Anyway !

You’re  Filled  with

G R E A T – F U L L- N E S S

C H E E R S !

A N D. . .
WILL YOU. . . ?

Putting the NEW in new year

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This video by J J Heller makes
It a fair question. . .
especially since 2021 is just barely
under a 100 hours old:
WHAT MAKES FOR A HAPPY NEW YEAR?
Wealth
Health
Fitness
Weight
Possessions
Relationships
Vaccines
Scientific Discoveries
Medical Advances
Bank Accounts
Books
Music
Movies
YOUR FILL IN THE ____________________WISH
W H A T ?

There’s a reason why the
Windshield
is so very much bigger
than the rear view mirror;
G A W K
unblinkingly
at what lies before you
with only a quick glance
at what’s already behind you
. . .good advice for a New Year;
better advice for what ails you
(and it cuts down tremendously on collisions)

So make sure when you look back
to see ahead
your eyes aren’t covered
and you don’t blink. . .
Do you want to know the secret for having a successfully awesome
2 0 2 1
. . .it’s no different than the success
of any other years:
DO MORE FOR OTHERS
THAN YOU DO FOR YOURSELF
. . .GUARANTEE:
Making others Happy
will bring you unspeakable joy
. . .It’s like taking someone out to dinner:
YOU GET FED, too
Hey, don’t take my words for it:
You’ve got
8 6 6 4
hours to prove it beginning
NOW

Put the NEW
in a New Year
(You are that Powerful)

WISH GRANTER

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Q U E S T I O N:

What’s better,
To be a
Wish Granter
or to be a
Wish Receiver

A N S W E R:

BOTH

Remember the greatest wish you were ever able to grant. . .

Remember the greatest wish you were ever able to receive. . .

THE SECRET TO LIFE:

Remembering both
is one thing. . .

DOING BOTH
(often)
IS THE ONLY THING!

True
or
False. . .

Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
You don’t pick the answer
so much as the way you live
SHOWS THE ANSWER

Wish Granter
Wish Receiver

CARING (for each other)

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The story of Trenton and Lindsay Cochran is a simple one:

They are best friends.            .          .

brother and sister.                .                .

support and inspiration at the same moment;

10 year old Lindsay suffers from Spinal Muscular Atrophy

has been in a wheelchair since she was two.          .          .

Trenton understands deeply that his life would have been extremely different

if he didn’t have a disabled little sister

and not only is this mature 12-year-old

 a helper and a protector

and not only is this mature 12-year-old

an advocate and an ambassador for kids with disabilities

he’s a CARE(ER)

he’s a SHARE(ER)

HE      IS      A     BEARER     OF      COMPASSION

and it’s highly contagious if you don’t allow the

E     V     E     R     Y     D     A     Y

to  innoculate  you.          .          .

Just a simple question:

I mean.          .          .

how   much   would

c              a              r              i              n              g

even   be   valid;

how   much   would

it      even      matter

if   not   for   the

E         A         C         H         O         T         H         E         R

F        A        C        T        O        R

Here’s   the   ultimate   integer:

DON’T       FIND       OUT

Now   THAT’S   Math  made  easy,

wouldn’t    you    agree?
( P R O V E     I T )

R I N G S

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R           I          N           G           S

Are       you       a       good      Buddhist ?

I am not.          .         .

as good as one I imagined;

I know the basics:

PAIN is caused by ATTACHMENT

PEACE: D E T A C H M E N T

Just about everyday since October 31, 1994

when I began working with Hospice and

DEATH & DYING

I’ve learned to die a little bit every day;

Embrace it;

When I go to bed and asleep (very quickly) each night

I have a huge sense of GRATITUDE

and an
OK-NESS

with the possibility I might not awaken

but not quite yet
(IF SHE DOESN’T AWAKE)

(Most likely from the childhood prayer my parents prayed and taught me every night:
NOW   I   LAY   ME   DOWN   TO   SLEEP
I   PRAY   THE   LORD   MY   SOUL   TO   KEEP
IF   I   SHOULD   DIE   BEFORE   I   WAKE
I   PRAY   THE   LORD   MY   SOUL   TO   TAKE

I practice DEATH every day
(but apparently never.     .     .ever enough)

because I know, I know that I know, bet my Life that I know
(but don’t always ACT like I know)

that ONE DAY I will die.        .       .
(that she will die)

Now that’s one thing, isn’t it.         .         .

but when it’s not
YOUR  LIFE

but ANOTHER’S;

ONE    WHO    YOU    DEEPLY    LOVE 

more desperately than your next breath.         .       .

well, now, that’s an whole other
MATTER.          .         .

W             O             R             D             S

much like these

but maybe laced with a little more effectiveness
sincerity 

have been said by many of us;

I’ve guided hundred’s in reciting/repeating them;

been at the bedsides of lifetime lovers who whisper them again to each other;

presided over the funeral of ONES.       .       .

who now very painfully have become TWOS (again)

“FOR      BETTER      FOR      WORSE
FOR      RICHER      FOR      POORER
IN      SICKNESS      AND      IN      HEALTH
TO      LOVE      AND      TO      CHERISH.          .         .”

Each time during the Summer for the past three years I’ve reflected;

E            X           P            E             R           I          E          N          C          E          D   

The other side of the coin of

THE BETTER
THE RICHER
THE HEALTH
and a much deeper
TO LOVE AND TO CHERISH

The other side of the coin is dirty
indistinguishable

The OTHER SIDE OF THE SHEETS

are rough;

much too ruffled/unsmooth/scratchy/P A I N F U L

When I saw her lying on the floor that early Sunday morning

seizing uncontrollably

watching my son

rolling her on her side

and calling 911 at the same time;

when I saw her limp and lifeless in the back of an ambulance;

lying on a gurney in the emergency room;

looking in her eyes and for the first time seeing them

NOT RECOGNIZING me
or any semblance of the language we’d seamlessly share with a mere glance;

it made me see a shore without her waves
a life without her life.          .           .

When I held her wedding ring in my hand

while she was getting an MRI

and a series of endless seemingly endless

eternally long tests

that were screaming to me

“There’s no mass; no bleed, no sign of stroke but we still don’t know why she had five Grand Mal seizure.         .       .”

I remember these words, along with a Niagara Falls of furious, fearful thoughts:

HER WEDDING RING
feels so very much
different 
foreign 
alien
small
in my hand
than it ever felt
on her hand
as I held it
squeezed it
without her holding
squeezing mine
back

I wrote a series of poems
thoughts
f e a r s
that have remained
in an old notebook
unshared
with
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SHEETS

We have all kinds of
r     i     n     g     s

Ring around the Rosie
Ring around the Collar
Ring around the Moon
Ring of my phone
Ring my neck

rivals not

The    Ring    on    My    Finger

which would have me WRUNG OUT

without it

bare beyond on naked.          .         .

Y         O          U  ?

LAUGH MAN

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The   World   is   a   Sad   Place

u n l e s s.          .          .

Thanks to the World Laughter Tour and Dr. Steve Wilson

I became a Certified Laughter Leader

in February, 2016

but often

I’m more C E R T I F I A B L E 

than CERTIFIED.        .        .

I recently provided a workshop

for a Hospice Team

that was organized by their FUN COMMITTEE.       .       .

Shortly following the workshop

one of the Nurses on the Team sent me this email:

Chuck, Thanks for the laughs. I think you answered a question for me.  A year ago an acquaintance of my brother and I had posted on FaceBook that she could not tell the difference between us from posted pictures.  My nephew posted that the the pictures where the guy was smiling was my brother.  The other pictures were of his uncle, me.  Since I do not use social media, I wouldn’t have noticed except my daughter pointed out to me how she had put her cousin in his place.  (Such fire can come from gentle souls!)  Since then though I have been checking in with the mirror to see where the smile went  I was most puzzled because (1) My nickname in high school was “ear to ear,” and (2) I thought that I was smiling.  I have been watching my peers in team and I have noticed that we do not smile except the we are laughing.  As I watched you, I did not see a smile except with laughter.  When your face relaxed the corners of your mouth relaxed downward.  I have a voice from the past that says, “It  takes more  muscles  to  frown  than  to  smile.”  What has happened?  I think that it is this: Both smiles and frowns are surface expressions and quickly deceive  Of the two, though, are work allows for the frown as the more acceptable.  I think that we spend a great deal of effort in the trenches where smiles are inappropriate.  We have lost the ability to smile from disuse of smiling muscles  So though we may be smiling on the inside, our faces do not show it.  I do not think that this is either good or bad.  I thing that it as the artist, Chuck Close has said, “The  face  is  a  road  map  of  a  person’s life.”  You showed me today that you do not have to be able to smile to be able to laugh,  Hohohahaha, YEAH! Thanks.

How about an

“A”

for paying way more than just Attention

but   for  really

N        O        T        I        C        I        N        G

Harry Chapin

is still one of my favorite musicians.        .         .

He died tragically in a car accident

on July 16, 1981, at 39 years of age.        .         .

He wrote a song,

L  A  U  G  H      M  A  N

that I’ve always related to personally and publicly

long before becoming a Certified Laughter Leader

.         .         .maybe it embodies and describes the essence of all of us:

https://youtu.be/ZpQ_eqi4UKU

The   World   can   be   a   really   sad   Place.        .          .

u n l e s s

I   make   it   a   different

r            e            s            i            d            e            n            c            e

join me

in proving

w     h     o     e     v     e     r

L       A      U      G      H      S

l    a    s    t    s.       .       .

Let’s    be    about

P        R        O        V        I        N        G                 I        T

MERCIFULNESS

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images

Have you?

Have you ever forgiven?

Have you ever been forgiven?

Did it feel different?

Did you feel Different?

Better

Relieved

Happier

H       E       A       L       T       H       I       E      R

There’s a new study out in Journal of Health Psychology that shows being

f o r g i v i n g

M     E     R     C     I     F     U     L

to others

and even to yourself

can protect you against damaging stress

can make you

H  E  A  L  T  H  I  E  R

What’s the criteria?

Researchers took a close look at the effects of a lifetime of stress on a person’s mental health,

and just how more forgiving people fared compared to people who

weren’t so forgiving.

So they asked 148 young adults to fill our questionnaires

that assessed their levels of lifetime stress,

their tendency to forgive and their mental and physical health.

S     U     R     P     R     I     S     E

People with greater exposure to stress over their lifetimes had

w o r s e       m e n t a l       a n d       p h y s i c a l       h e a l t h

b u t

the researchers also found out that if people were highly forgiving of themselves and others

THAT  characteristic alone virtually eliminated the connection between

stress and mental illness.

Loren Toussaint, the author and Associate Professor of Psychology at Luther College in Iowa went on to say,

“It’s almost entirely erased–it’s statistically zero.   .   .If you don’t have forgiving tendencies, you feel the raw effects of stress in an unmitigated way. . .

YOU   DON’T   HAVE   ANY   BUFFER   AGAINST   THAT  STRESS.”

So does it pay?

Does it make

C     E     N     T     S ?

The best

C          H          A          N          G          E

will never jingle in your pocket

but it’ll never stop   j a n g l i n g

in your heart

Come on.     .     .

The Research

R  E  A  L          S  C  I  E  N  C  E

points to the

facts

people

C A R I N G     C A T A L Y S T S

who are more

forgiving

m e r c i f u l

adopt better coping skills

to deal with stress

or their reaction to major stressors may be dulled

Either way.     .     .

merciful people are

happier

h     e     a     l     h     i     e     r

BETTER

W H E N

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https://youtu.be/6JBSdWD4O0Y

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines

S            U            C            C            E            S            S

a s

:  the fact of getting or achieving

wealth,

respect,

or fame

:  the correct or desired result of an attempt

:  someone or something that is successful

: a person or thing that succeeds

I love

.           .         .like I hope you just did what these kids

3 – 11 had to say about success and happiness

We’ve long know that kids

have a way of saying the darndest things

but there’s only ever one definition about

  s         u         c         c         e         s         s

that matters :

Y       O       U       R       S

W     h     a     t

s      a      y

y          o          u  ?

When have you felt the happiest?

When did you feel like you were the most successful?

When did you feel at your wealthiest?

When did the

 k               i               d

 in you last peek out to see

if the coast was clear to just

p           l           a           y ?

When was the last time you played the game,

WHAT      WOULD      YOU      RATHER      BE ?

When was the last time that you

L          I          V          E          D                I     T   ?

When was the last time it mattered?

.             .             . w   h   e   n .             .             .     ?

Merriam-Webster defines many things

.           .           .but never

m    e

or

y   o   u 

.            .            .n       e       v       e       r !

Immunity

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images-3

When was your first time?

When was the very first time you didn’t actually believe. . .

When was the very first time you actually knew,

K          N          E          W

that you weren’t going to live forever?

Was it was you went to the funeral of a friend, a relative, a dear loved one. . .

was it just when you read an obituary, even of one you didn’t even know the person?

When was it?

Sometimes  THAT  happens when you sit on the other side of the desk of a Doctor and his face tells you what you don’t want his mouth to ever say and your ears to ever heard.

Have you felt    T     H     A     T  ?

The biggest problem with   T   H  A  T 

is most of them are   T     H     A     T  ‘  S

They’re  P L U R A L

We had a great family reunion the Saturday before Easter.

My brother and his family were in from San Antonio

and even though not every family member was present

there were a great number of us

t o g e t h e r

for several hours.

We all knew just how precious and priceless was   T H A T    Moment

and then.     .     .

less than two weeks later

a humbling, powerful, very life-threatening event takes place

and my father is in the hospital.

It’s then. . .

It’s there that you go to a place a GPS can’t follow, lead or identify. . .

a  Continent that doesn’t exist called

I          M          M          U          N          I          T          Y

The harshest truth to ever be discovered and rediscovered

is the one to never be hidden or forgotten,

only in slight moments overlooked:

NONE OF US ARE IMMUME

not if you have a heart beat, a pulse, a mind that can half reason or not so easily forget

NONE OF US ARE IMMUNE

from hurt

(FROM JOY)

from disappointment

(FROM HAPPINESS)

from unmet expectations

(FROM FULFILLED GOALS)

from unfulfilled dreams

(FROM VISIONS REALIZED)

from undreamt imaginings

(FROM UNDERSTANDINGS GRANTED)

from sickness

(FROM PERFECT WELLNESS)

from losing

(FROM GAINS)

from failing

(FROM VICTORIES)

from being on the other side of the sheets

(FROM BEING ON THE SHEETS)

from dying

(FROM LIVING)

F          R          O          M

NOT  being immune

from it  ALL 

has a certain blessing that a wish can’t hold or grant

has a certain authenticity that makes a heart, beat–especially a broken one

has an awareness that a life lived–

L     I     V    E    S

It’s what can’t be traded. . .only owned

which births another sort of immunity

s     h     a     r     e     d

and only known fully from the grave to which we all go. . . .

When. . .

w   h   e   n     have you ever felt

 T   H   A   T ?

(This is a re-working on one of a four installments of  THE ROUGH SIDE OF THE SHEETS  that I wrote back in August/September 2015 after my wife, Erin suffered a series of seizures; these are some of the lessons experienced, learned, and now hopefully shared again since my father suffered a fall with several complications ensuing since his surgery.  It’s my hope that you enjoy these journey-ings, and more, take the time to share a few of yours that that we can all learn a little more about those razor-blade laden sheets…and in the sharing, soften them a little and bring a fragrance from which they knew not.  It’s been nearly eight months since Erin experienced her seizures, and a week since my dad’s fall and surgery; daily they recover and ready themselves to live Life in the Shadow of Death of which no one is Immune that reminds us all: YOUR PAIN IS MY PAIN)

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man