Who Cares - What Matters
Some stories are so good. . .
No additional words or commentary are ever necessary. . .
Except to be heard and then shared and shared and shared and shared until
The Story
is in everyone’s book–un-edited
and becomes so very, very, very familiar that everyone,
Not only does everybody KNOW IT
but it is so HO-HUM Mundanely EVERYDAY NORMAL that chewing gum on the bottom of an old-never-worn-again discarded pair of shoes becomes the biggest news of the day.
I bend my knee for THAT day!
I was
T H I N K I N G. . .
You?
“IF YOU WAIT UNTIL YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING FOR EVERYBODY, INSTEAD OF SOMETHING FOR SOMEBODY, YOU’LL END UP DOING NOTHING FOR NOBODY.”
When I first saw this clip just filmed in New York City in February of this year, IT brought out the
C
in me…
Not my Compassion;
My Cynicism.
I immediately had flash backs of countless pieces of junk mail that I had received about how I could feed a hungry orphaned kid in a far away geographical place I can’t spell phonetically or begin to say, let alone place.
Or
The infomercials that wouldn’t tug but pillage my heart strings with kids who had flies all over them or maggots crawling out of their noses which were meant to implore I would send generously to alleviate this plight.
When I researched the video I was a little shocked to see that well over 22,0000
C H I L D R E N
are homeless in New York City alone.
Staggering
Bothersome
Alarming
all good adjectives and correct.
I guess, I just didn’t like it was a set up…
that it took well over two hours of NO ONE helping this kid who crawled in a not-so-well-insulated garbage bag to keep warm until a homeless man came over and offered more than his sympathetic compassion. He actually gave his coat and money for the freezing kid to eat.
M O R E. . .
He gave what so few of us
(AND I’M FIRST IN LINE)
Just the mere PRESENCE of himself–
which is always the most valuable thing we own and can ever give:
O U R S E L V E S !
I didn’t like that the film makers were a block away and came and not only praised the Homeless man
(Which was a powerful gift in itself)
but actually gave him well over $500 (perhaps a piece).
Here’s what I was THINKING:
IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES TO MOVE US?
IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES TO MOTIVATE US TO GIVE?
IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES TO BRING AWARENESS TO AN OBVIOUS TRAGIC SITUATION?
IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES TO SHOCK US TO ACTION?
IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES TO SHAME US?
IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES TO_______________________________________________?
Maybe that was the real purpose of the short 6 minute clip:
Not so much to make me Question
But to make me seek an ANSWER. . .
To actually make me feel disgust and then wrestle with why I actually FELT IT. . .
To T H I N K ?
You?
WHAT
DO
YOU
T H I N K ?
We all have T H A T idea, don’t we?
We all know what LOVE IS
We all know what LOVE ISN’T
We all know what LOVE HAS
We all know what LOVE HASN’T
We all know what LOVE DOES
We all know what LOVE DOESN’T. . .
For US. . .no. . .
FOR ME!
I had a hypothesis WE would have a different view of this short little film clip on
DIVERSITY and INCLUSION.
I wasn’t disappointed. . .
but I was really hoping I was.
I showed it to several different groups over the past few weeks: Discussion groups, hospice groups, church groups, older generational groups, a group of teenagers, a bereavement group, a host of individuals, and several close friends and family members.
The Verdict?
NOT Unanimous.
The
S T I C K I N G
point?
It wasn’t LOVE HAS NO RACE. . .
It wasn’t LOVE HAS NO DISABILITIES. . .
It wasn’t LOVE HAS NO AGE. . .
It wasn’t LOVE HAS NO RELIGION. . .
It wasn’t LOVE HAS NO LABELS. . .
Love, apparently DOES KNOW Gender.
QUESTION: is love the greatest force in and out of this world?
ANSWER:
Psssssst: it’s just a
YES
NO
answer.
Not an:
UNLESS
EXCEPT
BUT
AND
IF
OR
ANSWER. . . .
Love AGREES to DISAGREE so this isn’t a Blistering Commentary for those who don’t go along with my
feelings
thoughts
perspectives
beliefs
theory
hypothesis. . . .
It’s an invitation to share
It’s an invitation to imagine
It’s an invitation to reach out and be reached out to
It’s an invitation to LOVE
ESPECIALLY if it’s NOT in Agreement
with definition or without
to make the
GRAY
a little more of a blinding
White
that makes us all squint in amazement
always to see a little better…maybe never in the same way
BUT ALWAYS IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
Join me, Love.
When was the last time you felt totally
B A LA NC ED. . .?
If you talk to any person or group of people they most likely will admit to you that
BALANCE
is work and rare for any length of time.
Well, of course there’s an APP for THAT and now, of all things, a bracelet.
A LOKAI Bracelet.
It’s a stretchable bracelet that has a Black Bead containing mud from the Dead Sea, the lowest point on Earth. The Black Bead symbolizes the most Difficult moments you may experience throughout life.
Directly across from the Black Bead of Difficulty is a White Bead containing water from Mt. Everest, the highest point on Earth, highlighting Life’s Highest moments. The water is actually infused into the silicone mixture and then injected into the White ball itself to insure that the water is always in the Bead.
The Clear Beads in between are clear to remind us that
C L A R I T Y
is key in times of both, Joy and Sadness.
The Clear Beads also symbolize that we all have
A STORY
and those Beads just represent pieces of THAT Story.
The Lokai Bracelet was created by a man named Steven Izen after he learned that his grandfather had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. The experience of joy and sadness was experienced so close together that he thought life is
C I R C U L A R
and throughout our highest HIGHS and lowest LOWS, it’s important to always remain balanced.
Why LOKAI?
The name was inspired by the Hawaiian Word: L O K A H I
which means UNITY and to BLEND OPPOSITES. . . .
It’s main purpose is to
R E M I N D
us to simply stay HOPEFUL and know that even in the most darkest moments
IT WILL GET BETTER!
I asked HER about this bracelet when I first saw it and in part, that was the explanation I received.
My knee-jerk follow up question was:
DOES IT WORK?
There was no hesitation before I got a one-word answer:
A B S O L U T E L Y.
I swallowed hard the remark,
“SO DOES SHARK REPELLENT IN OHIO!”
What is it for you?
What gives. . .brings. . .assures. . .infuses. . .promises. . .delivers. . .
B A LAN CE in YOU?
Is it a Bracelet?
Is it a Blanket?
Is it a Robe?
Is it a piece of jewelry?
Is it a Symbol?
Is it a piece of clothing?
Is it a Chair?
Is it Music?
Is it a Written Word?
Is it Food?
Is it Alcohol?
Is it Drugs?
Is it a certain kind of meditation?
Is it a massage?
Is it_______________________________________________?
Whatever you feel brings you Balance, does–doesn’t it?
What YOU THINK really is a powerful, second-to-none-potion.
Pssssssst: It’s NOT the same thing for Everyone.
The real irony is that
WHATEVER IT IS
is seldom utilized.
IT should be used often/always. . .
and then…then Shared!
(NO, NOT THE SYMBOL FOR THE BALANCING)
But YOUR BALANCED SELF!
YOUR BALANCED SELF IS THE GREATEST FORM OF BALANCE YOU CAN BRING TO ANOTHER. . .
(WHICH IS THE REASON I WEAR MY LOKAI BRACELET–TO BE BALANCED TO BRING BALANCE).
A Peaceful Heart Comforts a Troubled Heart
which equals
A BLENDED BALANCE!
Slip THAT on for Size
It was a nice night out where everyone wanted to have Breakfast for Supper.
Some days are best when they end up upside down and reversed.
One granddaughter order hash browns;
One granddaughter ordered kids Pancakes with a smiley face made of bacon;
Granny order Blueberry pancakes;
Pappy had an order Buttermilk Pancakes.
They saw him over at another table and then another table and then one more closer to theirs still.
He had on a L O U D green sports coat, an even Louder yellow shirt, a red polka dot (fake) bow tie, black pants and dirty big brown shoes.
He was 1/2 Clown, 1/2 magician that made not-so-good-balloon creations.
One granddaughter could hardly wait for him to get to the table to craft her an elephant; the other granddaughter ran for the restroom–
AVOIDANCE COMES IN MANY GUISES!
He came over and he
NEVER LEFT!
He started with the elephant and then a penguin for granny; a motorcycle for Uncle and a giraffe for
Uncle’s girlfriend. . .
All the while, BREAKFAST had come and had been E A T E N
and while they were waiting for the check he crafted Pappy a hat that had no rival.
There’s nothing more Lonely than a Lonely 1/2 CLown, 1/2 Magician that couldn’t blow up or twist more than a few balloons together before
P O P !
He tried to make jokes
He tried to make conversation
He tried to make a sale for his services at parties
He tried to make balloon animals and shapes
He tried. . . .
It wasn’t until they were walking out, with him at their heels,
until Pappy got a reflection of himself in the glass doors.
IT HIT HIM
only then!
The granddaughters were laughing at some of the deformed creatures, while Uncle was complaining to Granny just how rude he was for never leaving, even while BREAKFAST came and they ate, a little uncomfortably, in front of him as he miserably failed to entertain but much more easily irritated.
IT HIT ME
How sad. . .how sad–
NO, NO. . .
not how he was
but maybe how we were.
The reason he came to our table and stayed is because we were the only table that entertained him; that didn’t dismiss him or be rude. . .but it didn’t keep us from complaining about how he made us feel awkward or, or…
making fun of him!
It was obvious that he was being shunned and in at least one incident, not very welcomed at all.
As we walked to our car,
WHILE STILL WEARING MY CONCOCTED, TWISTED HAT–
I looked back into the window and saw him not being very well received at yet another table and something felt a little twisted and blown out of proportion in me.
WHO’S THE REAL CLOWN?
Not much feeling like being the Entertainment when going out is one thing, not appreciating the Entertainment–even bad Entertainment–when it’s
S I N C E R E
is quite another.
I felt like giving myself a hand–
RIGHT ACROSS THE BACK OF MY HEAD. . . .
Bravo!
Bravo!
Kevin Costner has made a lot of different sports movies.
FOR THE LOVE OF THE GAME is one of my favorites…no, it’s not the Classic, FIELD OF DREAMS or the funny, BULL DURHAM or even TIN CUP or DRAFT DAY, but it has some strong moments.
It’s about Kevin’s character, Billy Chapel near the end of his career playing for a not so good Detroit Tigers Team and he’s literally pitching the game of his life. He’s pitching a no-hitter going into the bottom of the 8th inning with a one run lead and he’s tired with not a whole lot left in the tank, when his catcher counterpart tells him that the whole team is behind him and that right now because of his awesome performance versus the New York Yankees that they “Don’t Stink.” He encourages his tired, nearly worn-out friend to:
“JUST THROW”
Oh, that’s right, he’s lost the love of his life and will soon find out that even throwing a no-hitter means absolutely nothing if YOU HAVE NO ONE TO SHARE THE JOY.
But, but that’s not the story, really.
The real story as told by Kevin Costner recently in an appearance on Mike & Mike on ESPN was that the movie almost never was able to take place; at least not in Yankee Stadium.
George Steinbrenner, who was still alive and the owner of the Yankees almost pulled the plug on the whole project.
Do you know why?
It was because when George read the script he found out that someone would come into HIS HOUSE of Yankee Stadium and actually NO-HIT his beloved ball club. He almost pulled the plug on the whole project because THE YANKEES LOSE!
They had to convince George that the Yankees, in fact, had already clinched the Division and it was just another game at the end of the season before they made another march in the playoffs. They had to assure George that the game MEANT NOTHING–that it was just a throw away game. And after believing that the game didn’t have significance he allowed the movie to be shot in Yankee Stadium with the Yankees being defeated in a dramatic No Hitter.
I love T H A T!
I so very much admire and at times envy THAT Passion of Mr. Steinbrenner.
That makes the movie, ultimately different, doesn’t it?
WHAT. . .
IN YOUR LIFE WOULD YOU NOT NEGOTIATE
unless you were totally assured it really had no meaning or significance and that indeed, it was actually to illustrate a greater outcome?
Now THAT question is like an all day sucker you can’t quite get your tongue around. . . .
JUST THROW
is really good advice if you know you’ve got THE WHOLE TEAM behind you; if you knew that just for this one significant moment in your life you could put your EVERYTHING in to IT with nothing to lose, when you were at your weakest, at your can’t-do-one-more-thing-exhaustive-break point.
JUST THROW
is really easy to do with pure, unadulterated PASSION!
It’s one thing to Recognize THAT Moment. . .
It’s one thing to Have THAT Moment. . .
It’s one thing to Give THAT Moment. . .
It’s one thing to Share THAT Moment with another. . .
It’s one thing to Combine THOSE Moments into ONE. . .
Go ahead…
JUST THROW!
Be the Magic!
Batter UP!
Yeah, I was one of THOSE:
A Gas Station Attendant!
You’d have to Google or go to Wikipedia to even begin to understand what A Gas Station Attendant even
W A S
I worked my way through the last year of College and saved enough to begin my first year of Seminary.
It was waaaaaaaaaaay back in 1976
and I didn’t learn a thing about tires, oil changes, alternators, headlights, radiators or cars in general, but I did learn a lot about People and Service.
I was the guy that dropped everything he was doing to meet you at your barely rolled down window before the Service Station bell rang twice as you pulled up to the gas pump.
I would politely ask what type of gas you’d like, how much and if you would be so kind to allow me to check your oil, your tire pressure and clean your windshield.
I’d usually be treated just a little above whale dung–especially when it was in the dead of Winter.
…I learned a lot about People and a whole lot more about Service. . . .
The worse People would treat me was usually when I provided the most Service.
It really set me up for a life of service.
Givers are not Takers but Takers are!
I was making a whopping $75 a week and the best lesson I learned THEN
is the one I Teach, NOW:
NO ONE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO PAY YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO, BUT HOPEFULLY THEY’LL PAY YOU ENOUGH SO YOU CAN DO IT!
Anyone in any Service area, will never be paid for the SERVICE provided–EVER. . .
but most likely you’ll be compensated JUST ENOUGH to be able to continue to provide YOUR SERVICE.
I remember shoveling out the drive way of the service station before it was open and a grandmother and her two granddaughters pulled in with their radiator steaming. The hose had a hole; sprung a leak.
I poured hot chocolate from my thermos for the girls and grandma while I quickly replaced her hose and when she said she didn’t have any money to pay for the repair, I told her not to worry about it, paid for it out of my own pocket and wished them a good day with the advice to KEEP WARM and be safe.
It was near the end of my shift when I saw grandma’s car come into the lot, but this time grandpa was driving and he barely put the car in Park before he jumped out and started yelling me about how I had taken advantage of his wife, and put her and his two granddaughters at great risk for installing UN-named brand parts.
He didn’t want to hear that I never charged her and gave his granddaughters my hot chocolate. . . .
I learned a lot about People and a whole lot more about Service.
It wasn’t the next day or the next. . .
I was shoveling out the lot before the Station opened again, and I noticed “THE CAR” coming into the lot.
Grandma was driving.
She got out of the car with a brand new thermos filled with her HOME MADE Hot Chocolate and a warm ham and cheese sandwich and even warmer chocolate chip cookies.
“You’re a nice boy who deserves nice things.”
It was one of the nicest THANK YOU, I’M SORRY I’ve ever experienced.
I learned a lot about People and a whole lot more about Service.
Wouldn’t it be great if we still had Service Stations?
No. . .
Not the kind that serves gas, checks oil, tire pressure, radiator levels or washes windshields. . .
Not the kind that trades radiator hoses for warm sandwiches, cookies and homemade hot chocolate. . .
Not the kind that swaps merchandise for money. . .
. . .the kind that doesn’t count a cost before it delivers. . .
. . .the kind that doesn’t pay you adequately for what you deserve only what you can’t help doing anyway. . .
. . .the kind that the World needs and seldom gets enough. . .
. . .the kind that’ll get your treated a half-inch above whale dung. . .
. . .the kind that’ll make you feel better than any paycheck or hefty bank account. . .
. . .the kind that you’ll learn about People and a whole lot more about Service. . .
. . .the kind that you’ll Teach, Pass on as you first learned it, most likely the hard way. . .
DING
DING
Excuse me, time to go provide some
SERVICE!
He was a kid in 7th grade who really didn’t like himself.
He couldn’t look in the mirror and NOT see something wrong with
His hair–too unCOMBly and wild
His Ears–too big
His Eyes–too green
His Nose–UnSHAPELY
His skin–Blemished
His body–Gawky
He couldn’t look in the mirror and NOT see something wrong with himself.
He even hated his name even though it came from his grandfather, but the way his teachers and sometimes, parents, used it, uhhhhh, NO!
He hated himself and worse. . .
It’s in Every One of us. . .
What’s the
I T ?
Happiness
Sadness
Hope
Despair
Hurt
Disappointment
Un-met Expectation
Suffering
Happiness
______________________________________
It’s been attributed to many different people, from Stephen Covey to Wayne Dyer to Pierre Teilhard de Chardin:
WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS WHO MAY HAVE A SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE, WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS HAVING A HUMAN EXPERIENCE.
I T
is a great saying and very believable. . .
HOWEVER,
The truest T H I N G
in every one of us just might well be our sincerest capacity to
E X P E R I E N C E
Your Suffering is my suffering. . .
Your Happiness is my happiness. . .
Yours. . .Mine
. . .a never ending thread of multiple colors and textures making up the ongoing Tapestry that ultimately makes a Yours and a Mine
O U R S
a glorious US
It’s in Every One of Us. . .
see THAT
be THAT
free THAT
all ways.
We did it.
It was usually during Summer vacations when we were actually on vacation, too.
We’d let the kids eat DESSERT FOR BREAKFAST?
Sometimes it would be cake
Sometimes it would be pie
Sometimes it would be cookies
Sometimes it would be popcorn
Sometimes it would be ice-cream
Sometimes it would be a bag of candy
I noticed it without really trying to notice. . .
So did THEY
We all did.
Seriously, it was 7:30 A. M. Before School.
Among the French toast, easy over eggs, pancakes, sausage patties and links, bacon and hash browns…
THERE IT WAS:
A Huge Chocolate Fudge Sundae
His eyes were shiny and huge and very appreciative.
His Father?
Well, he seemed very pleased to appease.
Was it a reward?
A paid off bet?
A bribe?
An Equalizer?
The other two kids from a couple of tables down almost immediately stopped eating and couldn’t stop ogling that mountain of quickly disappearing fudge and dripping vanilla ice-cream with whipped frosting.
THEIR’S was not to know THAT pleasure at 7:44 that morning.
When I went to the register to pay for my cheesy eggs and side of bacon with a fountain of coffee, the mother of the two kids who couldn’t stop looking at the Sundae which had magically disappeared before their eyes, but not his face…
“What’s with the kid getting a Sundae before eight-o’clock in the morning?”
The waitress behind the register said, “You know, I asked they guy the same thing when the kid ordered it.”
“Well, what did he say,” the mom insistently wanted to know?
“He said, well He said, JUST BECAUSE…”
“JUST BECAUSE,” Mom bellowed probably louder than she thought so that everyone stopped stirring, scooping, slicing, cutting, slurping and eating and just looked up. “LIKE THAT’S A REASON?”
T H A T
happened about three weeks ago between that magical time…those beautiful moments…between Christmas and New Year’s before the Holiday glitter of glorious globed world settled down
AGAIN
It keeps bouncing around my head, well, actually more my heart…
Of THOSE TIMES
once lived but never forgotten and now remembered…
LIVED ALL OVER AGAIN!
I had to bring them to page for Peace and for even more RE-Memberings
It’s like I just discovered a beautiful, unknown Continent–
in just two words:
JUST BECAUSE
Hey, Sundae’s for ALL, on me, for the bestest reasons of all:
J U S T
B E C A U S E