The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

TWO QUESTIONS t o PARADISE

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W     E     L     L.          .          .

what answer you to enter into paradise:

H A V E     Y O U     F O U N D     J O Y     I N     Y O U R     L I F E

and even more so:

H  A  S     Y O U R       L  I  F  E       B  R  O  U  G  H  T      J  O  Y
T  O          O  T  H  E  R  S

Do   you   believe

as the ancient Egyptians believe that when your soul gets to heaven

you but have to answer these questions and

P                 R                 E                 S                 T                 O

If you found

J            O            Y

If you gave

J            O            Y

you entered into Paradise.          .          .

sounds simple

sounds glorious

doesn’t it.          .          .

Yesterday I was heading home after visiting  a couple who were making final plans on their upcoming wedding when I saw a little girl and her brother were selling Kool-Aid in their drive way.  Mom was doing some yard work behind them and when I stopped and asked them what they were selling they both yelled out:

“GRAPE  KOOL-AID”

“G R A P E     K  O  O  L  –  A  I  D, ” I yelled back.  “That’s my favorite.  How much do I owe you for my most favorite drink ever?”

They both yelled back, “A Quarter!”

“A Quarter?  Oh my, since it’s my most favorite drink ever would it be okay if I paid you both a dollar?”

“YES!  YES!  Mom, he’s going to pay us both a dollar for his most favorite drink!”

Mom was behind them, mouthing the words,

“T H A N K    Y O U”

I drank the small Dixie cup of watered down Grape Kool-Aid in front of them and let out a huge sigh as I wiped my mouth and told them:

“THE   BEST  EVER!   THANK YOU!”

Joy

received

JOY

shared :

P A R A D I S E

(In a Moment)

The Caring Catalyst

in me has a nice vision

a beautiful belief:

F          I          N          D          I          N          G

S          H          A          R          I          N          G

j          o          y

I  S

P       A       R       A       D       I       S       E

h     e    r     e

and

t      h      e      r      e

(u s h e r     i t )

o f t en

The GPS-less Trip

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IMG_1180

IF  YOU  DON’T  LIKE  WHAT  YOU  SEE,

 DON’T  LOOK  IN  THE  MIRROR

It’s the trip everyone needs to take,

but the very one we resist the most.      .      .

The journey to Mars or the middle of the Earth

are nothing compared to that GPS-less jaunt to that mysteriously haunting,

always harrowing expedition to the depths of

S       E       L       F

It really is the irony of all ironies, isn’t it?

We spend all of this time with ourselves.      .      .

I mean,

everyday and every second of every day,

right,

but it’s as if we don’t know ourselves at all sometimes, huh?

W  H  O       A  R  E       Y  O  U?

It’s not a rhetorical question so much,

but it’s amazing how we answer that question by telling people

WHAT    WE    DO,

WHERE    WE    LIVE,

WHAT    WE    WANTED    TO    DO    BUT.      .      .

and I don’t know.      .      .

that’s   not   really

WHO     WE     REALLY     ARE?

Sad part of all of this, of course,

is if we don’t really know ourselves all that well,

g    u    a    r    a    n    t    e    e    d,

neither   do   others

This may be the bad news,

but it doesn’t have to be any longer.       .        .

not if you are willing to take ‘

 T     H     A    T 

excursion to  S E L F

To be sure,

it’s a not-so-comfortable-always-easy-to-find-your-way-GPS-less voyage.

H  o  w  e  v  e  r,

this honest look-in-the-mirror-see-yourself-as-you-never-have-before-glance

isn’t as frightening as you have ever thought.        .        .

actually, it can truly be the

T  R  I  P       O  F       A       L  I  F  E  T  I  M  E!

FIVE      QUESTIONS:

1)  What do you really believe?   This isn’t a final Philosophy 101 exam where your answers will be posted for the Universe to see.  Is what you believe about Love, God, Spirituality, Life, Relationships YOUR BELIEFS or those that have been passed down to you from others?

2)  What do you value?  If someone were gushing about you, what would you feel best about what they would be saying?  What do you admire most and value best in another person.  Do you possess those qualities…do you really want to have them be YOU?

3)  What makes you the happiest?  Most of the time we think HAPPINESS is something that someone else is, but not really ever us.  So are you really doing/being what you want, or did you settle for the HAVE-TO, instead of your WANT-TO?

4)  What scars are still seeping?  HINT: Usually the things that still cause an emotion in us are the things that still need healing.  That’s NOT a bad thing…IT’S A REAL THING that you needed look away or try to cover up.  Healing takes time…sometimes a lifetime and THAT is what a LIFE TIME is about.

5)  What do you love about you?  No, we’re not going to get up and share what we’ve barely seen a glimpse of ourselves. . .but we rarely need a mirror to reflect what makes us shine the best.  You really do know your strengths, your successes, your attitudes, your friendships and relationships–what you are really thankful for in yourself.

Some of the best Company we’ve ever entertained is

O     U     R      S     E     L     V     E     S.      .      .

but TV,

radio,

mp3 players,

the Internet

or the Smart phone

has      kept      us      from      us.            .            .

LOVE     YOUR    NEIGHBOR    AS    YOURSELF

.      .      .is usually great advice unless we don’t love ourselves so well  

—which is not a virtue.       .       .

Psssssssssssssssst:

Your   Compassionate   Self   actually   begins   with

  s            e            l            f

The mirror is not always kind.     .     .

The expedition to

S                E                L                F

is not always the most pleasant of journey’s.     .     .

maybe that’s why we don’t take that venture too often

—-or   at   all—-

and maybe that’s just why we should;

You don’t need a Passport

You don’t need a Tripticket

You don’t need a GPS system

You don’t need.       .       .

much it seems on this trip except a willingness to travel

i n s i d e

Book that trip.        .        .

often.       .       .

for  you

for  others.      .      .

It’s   a   vacation   you’ll   never   have   to   return

 (n  o  r       s  h  o  u  l  d).

IF   YOU   DON’T   LIKE   WHAT   YOU   SEE,  

DON’T   LOOK   IN  THE   MIRROR                                                  

L  O  O  K         I  N  S  I  D  E                                                                                                                                                                                  

(THE   DEEPER   THE   BETTER)       

 

More STRESSED to BLESS

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Hmmmmmmmm   of   the   DAY:

Stress Might Make You A More

Empathetic Person

While it might be uncomfortable, it could also be a force for good.     .     .
headshot
By Lindsay Holmes

PEOPLEIMAGES VIA GETTY IMAGES

Brain imaging research suggests that being under stress may make you more compassionate to others who are struggling or in pain. That’s because stress may activate a part of the brain associated with empathy.

In short.        .         .

E           M           P           A           T           H           Y

is Sympathy on Steroids.          .          .

Here’s  How   the   study   worked:

An international team of researchers measured the brain activity of 80 male participants, some of whom were given a stress test while others acted as a control group with no intervention.

The stress test sounds hellish: Participants were instructed to solve difficult tasks under a deadline, all while receiving negative feedback on their performance. Researchers measured the participants’ anxiety during this exercise by measuring their levels of the stress hormone, cortisol.

Once sufficiently stressed, the study subjects looked at photos of strangers who were undergoing a painful medical procedure and were asked to imagine how the patient in each photograph felt. For some of the images, researchers told the participants that the patient in the photo had received anesthesia, indicating that the person didn’t feel pain during the procedure. Researchers did this so they could determine whether the study participants’ reactions were to the image of the procedure or were based in an understanding of the patient’s experience.

The control group also looked at the photos.        .        .

The study found that stressed participants displayed more empathy toward the photographed patients. Even when the individuals were informed that the patients weren’t in pain, they still had an empathetic reaction, according to scans done of the “empathy” neural center in the brain. 

Stress      compels      people      to      help      others.       .       .

The study also aimed to measure if stress not only helped people empathize with others who were struggling, but if it compelled them to act on that empathy. 

The results showed the amount of neural activity a person had in the empathy network of the brain also correlated with how much money the participants gave away in the dictator game. The more empathetic a person was in the first test, the more money that person shared with others in this test.

What       this       all       means :

The results of the study indicate that people may have stronger emotional reactions when they’re under stress and may be more likely to behave altruistically. 

But this reaction may not always be beneficial: The researchers were surprised to find that the study participants felt pain on behalf of patients they were told were under anesthesia as well as those they were told were in pain. 

This suggests empathetic reactions under stress may “result in aid that is uncalled for or inappropriate,” study researcher Claus Lamm of the University of Vienna, said in a statement. For example, a stressed person may react with alarm when someone is crying out of joy. 

“Depending on the context and situation, stress can be either beneficial or detrimental in social situations,” Lamm added.

There are also some other caveats. The study sample was small, for one, and it was also only conducted on men. It’s difficult to say if these results can apply to the whole population.          .          .

That being said, as Science of Us pointed out last year, there’s a whole body of research that supports the notion that the jitters can help people succeed under pressure. A 2013 study found that reframing performance-related anxiety in the mind as excitement can help people do better in the task. Other research found that students who were told their anxiety over a test would help them get better scores actually ended up with better results on the exam than those who weren’t told their stress would help.

In other words, while stress might be uncomfortable, there are times where it can be a force for good.

At least something positive can come from it, right?

S  o.          .          .

E M B A R R A S S E D

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What’s your most embarrassing moment?

Can you share it and not still feel embarrassed?

How many people know about this most embarrassing moment you’ve ever had?

 Who is involved in it.          .          .

Who sought out this most embarrassing incident you ever had.       .        .

 I always thought it was when I filed for bankruptcy;

 when I got a divorce;

when I got fired from a job;

when I failed a test and was called out in front of the whole 6th grade class;

 when I wasn’t able to show up more times than not to one of my kids or grandkids activities;

 when I said the wrong hurtful thing in front of a crowd

 at my student church when I had a Huge Freudian slip and directed peoples attention to the beautiful CENTERFOLD on the piano instead of the floral CENTERPIECE PIECE;

T           R           U           T           H.           .           .

When I saw this video I became embarrassed.          .           .

I became embarrassed

because I’ve had the biggest lead in my life

and I don’t know that I’ve done much with it.          .          .

or as much as I absolutely could have done

W  I  T  H    I  T;

especially when compared to others

I’ve been light years ahead because of

M  Y       P  R  I  V  I  L  E  G  E

F               A               C             T :

I can’t think of one thing

that would be more embarrassing

literally for the rest of my life:

After seeing this small clip not been different because of it or worse living differently

Y   o   u.             .             .

Are you embarrassed,

even slightly

because, like me,

you’ve gotten this tremendous head start

and not done as much as you could/would/should have.          .          .

L  I  K  E    M  E

it doesn’t make us better RACERS

It doesn’t make us more Competitive

It doesn’t make us more Hall of Fame Champions

It  just  makes  me  Embarrassed;

Even more Embarrassed

if  it  comes  across

P            R            E            A            C            H           Y

because’s there a Scripture at the end

THAT EVERY MAJOR RELIGION

and all the minor Ones 

e s p o u s e:

L O V E      O N E     A N O T H E R
I  N     W O R D,   T A L K,    I N    D E E D,   A N D     I N    T R U T H

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.          .          .

doesn’t    that     apply    to    all    of    us.       .       .

or   is   it   too

E         M         B         A         R         R         A         S         S         I         N         G

t o    a d m i t

?

LADLE-LIVING

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Unknown

Some would say it’s the ONLY question.       .       .

Some would say  WE  all do it, but only with a small

“S”

Some would say.           .          .

What say  Y   O   U ?

It’s never really a matter of to serve

or not to serve

as much as it is

WHO’S       SERVING       WHOM?

I use to play a game each Fall when Youth Groups would get back together again from Summer vacation. A nice, kind of lame Ice-Breaker that would allow us all to get to know each other and re-acquaint with old members graduating and new members moving up. It went something like:

Are you more of a Mountain or a Valley?

Are you more of a Lake or a Ocean?

Are you more of a Forest or a Desert?

Are you more of a Jingle or a Symphony?

Are you more of Lion or a Lamb?

Are you more of a Ladle or a Bowl?

Even now as I read those examples, like you, I’m answering them, maybe in a different way that I did well over 30 years ago.          .          .

Hey, we’re  allowed  to  C H A N G E  aren’t  we?

And  although,

CHANGE    IS    THE    ONLY    THING    THAT’S    CONSTANT

and that it’s literally inevitable

and at times very exhilarating,

it still doesn’t always have to be obeyed or observed.          .          .

Anyone who practices any degree of

Ladle-Living

knows how absolutely the Benefactor

receives so much more than the Benefactor-ee.      .      .

Being in hospice since 1994, I’ve found that,

without a doubt,

I am one of the most selfish person’s I’ve ever met,

known

or heard of.          .          .

Once you not only POSSESS the Ladle,

but actually USE it,

without thought

or account of repay,

Life becomes a series of

G     I     V     I     N     G     S.          .          .

G  I  V  I  N  G  S

that are intoxicatingly addictive.       .       .

TRANSLATION:

YOU   CANNOT   GIVE   AND   NOT,

 N   O   T,

NOT   WANT   TO   GIVE   MORE,


a g a i n      a n d      a g a i n,     a n d      a g a i n.       .       .

So. . .

Are you more of a Mountain or a Valley?

Are you more of a Lake or an Ocean?

Are you more of a Ladle or a Bowl?

Are you more SERVING or SERVED?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm,

the     answers     that     need     no     pondering     are     the     most     truthful;

especially   since   we   KNOW   before   the   Questions   are   asked !

Here’s to a little more Ladle-Living for each of us. . .

even if it means make-shifting a handle

on the not so shiny bowl

we’ve been carrying around for way too long.          .          .

well  now,

that’s  a

CHANGE   THAT   CAN   BE   CONSTANT

.          .          .e  v  e  r  y  t  i  m  e  !

and    simply    remember    the    greatest    of    truths:

IT MAKES YOU THINK

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https://youtu.be/MWBFbYZxiBw

I love the story of a man who died and went to Heaven.          .          .

When he arrives at the Pearly Gates,

Saint Peter asks him just one simple question:

“HOW  DID  YOU  ENJOY  HEAVEN?”

Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:

D   O   N  ‘  T        W   A   I   T

Not one of us can

A  D  D

another Day to our Lives.          .          .

but there’s also not a

Single ONE of US

that can’t

I       N       C       R       E       A       S       E

more LIFE to any Day

W  E      L  I  V  E.          .          .

D          O          N   ‘   T          

W          A          I          T

W H A T I F. . .

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Do you do most of your

D        R        E        A        M        I        N        G

when   you’re   A W A K E

or  A S L E E P.          .          .          ?

Back in December I had a lot of colleagues get laid off right before Christmas and though I grieved for them each for the personal loss I was feeling it was for the REAL LOSS they were Experiencing.          .          .

It made me start this very present

never-ending game called:

WHAT  IF

It goes like this and I’m going to invite you to play along

although this is a game that doesn’t get competed and go safely back into a box;

Let’s begin:

Do you have a WHAT  IF  LIST?

Actually it’s more than just a list.          .          .

it’s a couple of lists;

at least two.          .          .

Here’s the first WHAT IF LIST:

What if you lost your job RIGHT NOW:

What would you do.           .         .

LIST      YOUR      POSSIBILITIES

I’d be a Lyft driver and immediately start writing a book entitled LYFT TO LIFT chronicling  all the experiences and all of the stories that I would gather together with the folks I would take from one destination to another.      .     .

I’d start working for Starbucks

I’d start working for Amazon

I’d become a REDCOAT for Cleveland Clinic and instruct/help them where to go

I’d work exclusively for funeral homes

I’d become a full time Officiant for funerals, weddings, baptisms

I’d open up a cigar shop and call it HOLY SMOKES

I’d open a bar and call it CONFESSIONALS

I’d open a full service Spa and call it SOULED OUT

I’d open a coffee/tea shop and call it HOLY GROUNDS

I’d begin a Churchless Church that would never meet on Sunday’s and call it
NO PLACE

I’d open a hospice facility that’d never be dependent on government funding or regulations and call it BEGINNINGS

I’d open a FREE thrift store called GIFTED

I’d open a second free thrift store and call it CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY

Now what about that second what if list.          .          .

It’s a great list called:

WHAT  IF
You   won   the   500   million   dollar   lottery  list

I’d be a Lyft driver and immediately start writing a book entitled LYFT TO LIFT chronicling  all the experiences and all of the stories that I would gather together with the folks I would take from one destination to another.      .     .

I’d start working for Starbucks

I’d start working for Amazon

I’d become a REDCOAT for Cleveland Clinic and instruct/help them where to go

I’d work exclusively for funeral homes

I’d become a full time Officiant for funerals, weddings, baptisms

I’d open up a cigar shop and call it HOLY SMOKES

I’d open a bar and call it CONFESSIONALS

I’d open a full service Spa and call it SOULED OUT

I’d open a coffee/tea shop and call it HOLY GROUNDS

I’d begin a Churchless Church that would never meet on Sunday’s and call it
NO PLACE

I’d open a hospice facility that’d never be dependent on government funding or regulations and call it BEGINNINGS

I’d open a FREE thrift store called GIFTED

I’d open a second free thrift store and call it CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY

Sounds like both of my lists are the same.          .          .

Sounds like both lists talk about me being very altruistic and giving loving and
non-judgmental.          .          .

Sounds like both lists really uncovered who I truly am at heart:
S       E       L       F       I       S       H

YEAH. It might sound like I’m altruistic;

it may sound like I’m a really giving person but here’s the truth:

I      AM      SEVERELY      SELFISH

A   HARSHER  TRUTH:

I’m  STRIVING  to  become  even  more  S E L F I S H

I am the way that I am even though it appears so good, so true, so compassionate, so empathetic, so giving.            .            . when really I’m the most selfish person
I   have   ever   met.             .            .
It truly makes me feel good to be the way that I am and I agonize that I’m not  even  more   like   that.          .          .

I think I’ve uncovered the secret of life.          .          .
it’s not the fountain of youth;
it’s not quick get rich scheme;
But it is so highly effective
and I believe even more severely contagious;
I would hope that it not only characterizes me as a
Caring Catalyst
but also Caring Person.         .       .

The Secret:

GIVE      WHAT      YOU      WANT      TO      RECEIVE


No abracadabra stuff.         .        .
No magic.        .        .
Secret formula or potions.        .        .
No A-B-C-D  and then you will get X-Y-Z.         .        .

W H A T-IF-ING

is a great game.           .          .
It’s a fun game.          .          .
It’s a really cost-you-nothing-bet-your-life-changing-game

that, if involving others,

will long outlast a pulse beaten,
a breath taken
a heart pumping;

And it’ll absolutely teach

THE  LESSON:

COMPASSION      COMES      WITH      DIRT-CRUSTED      HANDS
that never come clean

Go ahead.          .          .

Bring FLAME  to  WICK

E           X           P           E           R           I           E           N           C           E

the pure answer of

WHY    LIGHT    A    CANDLE    WHEN    YOU    CAN    IGNITE    WICKS

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.          .          .
W     H     A     T         I     F

HARDWIRING HAPPINESS

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It’s always one of the most important questions.          .        .

but not as important as

T H E    A N S W E R:

A   R   E        Y   O   U       H   A   P   P   Y

Seriously.          .         .

ARE  YOU MORE

 Eeyore or Pooh.       .       .

 Rocky or Mr T

 Beauty or The Beast

Cop or Robber

Sweet or Sour

Hot or Mild

Mountain or Valley

It seems, doesn’t it

that at times we have a fantastic pull

to ignore the good in life

and focus instead on the bad.          .          .

E  N  T  E  R       R  I  C  K       H A N S O N

He’s a psychologist who wrote a book a few years ago:

HARDWIRING  HAPPINESS

His   main   thesis   is   this:

Humans’ hardwired tendency is to go negative.  It’s whats allowed our ancestors to survive.  And for depression-prone folks, this proclivity to see the glass half empty is even worse.  To mitigate that negativity  bias, we need to “RE-WIRE” our brains for resilience and happiness.  You do this by taking a few seconds throughout the day to think about and really soak in the good stuff you have going in your life.  It’s basically a form of cognitive behavioral therapy, but it’s incredibly easy to do and the results are powerful.     .     .     .

It’s tough being a Caring Catalyst 

but it’s not always the achieving or the maintaining of being

a Caring Catalyst 

that’s  so  important

so much as the attempt

so much as the intention

so much as the overall consistency

that’s significant.          .           .

So even when you’re feeling more like Eeyore

P   O   O   H        U   P

and realize that even on Cloudy

OVER CAST DAYS

the Sun still shines

.          .          .especially if you let it shine through you;

THINK   ON   THAT

DOING WHAT YOU LOVE

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R  U  T      R  H  O

 Do What You Love?

Or, Love What You Do?

David Sturt and Todd Nordstrom , CONTRIBUTOR Opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their own, reported back on March 13, 2015 some pretty eye-opening stuff all of us who hold burning candles at both ends and in the middle 
NEED   TO   TAKE   NOTICE

Since some of the earliest writings from the world’s most prolific thought leaders the notion of doing what you love (seeking a career that fills you with passion) has been discussed at length. But with current research showing how many people are disengaged, dissatisfied, and frustrated at work, we wondered is it possible to flip the words—is it possible to simply love what you do—your current job?

Q        U        I        C        K:

ARE   YOU   LOVING   WHAT   YOU   ARE   DOING 

RIGHT  HERE

RIGHT  NOW

ON  APRIL 11, 2018.          .          .?

Finding a job you love is age-old advice. Confucius probably has the best longstanding quote about “do what you love.” His words, “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life,” have been repeated throughout history. Or consider Warren Buffett’s words, “Take a job that you love.” And let’s not forget the prolific thoughts of Maya Angelou who said “…pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.”

Does anyone advocate the opposite approach—telling people to love what they do? We did not have to look far to find the advice of Steve Jobs who said, “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.”

Image courtesy of shutterstock.com

Image courtesy of shutterstock.com

 Curious about our own experiences in the workplace, we began reviewing previous job titles we have had over the years. Between the two of us, we’ve held titles like: fire inspector, market research manager, disk jockey, product development director, wind surfing instructor, creative director, and the list goes on. As we discussed our roles, we couldn’t help but talk about the positions we loved, and those we knew weren’t the perfect fit. And apart from one position (we won’t admit who it was) of company mascot, which consisted of wearing a fuzzy cow suit and dancing down parade routes in the middle of summer, we loved each of the jobs we had (the cow suit was extremely hot, it was ridiculous, but pardon the pun, ‘Holy cow it was fun’).

Are we typical of most workers? Science actually gives us some insight.

The “find a job you love” advice listed above is easy to buy into for those who love their jobs. But for those who still don’t love their work, should they quit their current job and chase the dream of the job they would love? Or can people learn to find meaning and success in their current job? The answer is ‘yes.’ And here’s why.

Kind of makes
Burning the Candle at both ends and in the middle
take another a whole different perspective
ESPECIALLY  WHEN  YOU  KNOW
THE   SOURCE

SNOWING when it DOESN’T

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While others were complaining

about it

S              N              O              W              I              N              G

again

and yes,

I absolutely was tempted.        .        .

I caught myself

and literally stopped in my tracks for

just a couple of minutes

T O     R E C O G N I Z E   W H A T     I     N O T I C E D.         .        .

Amazingly

when I just did that for two minutes

and a mere seven seconds

The other side of the coin flipped for me

and instantly

instead of literally joining the Masses

and severely

C      O      M      P      L      A      I      N      I      N      G

about it being APRIL 8

and it was snowing

A          G          A          I          N.          .          .

i  instead heard the most amazing

symphony being composed and performed at the same time

by an orchestra and chorus of birds

who were in the snow like me

and singing back in defiance

WHO CARES, WHO CARES, WHO CARES, WHO CARES, WHO CARES, 

and I stopped  myself  and  S   A   N   G

back this amazing refrain from an inner voice

I didn’t recognize:

I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, 

and I did

.            .          .I finally recognized what I noticed

that  m o m e n t s

even those sprinkled with snow flakes

on a April 8th Sunday Morning

on the edge of an empty Church Parking lot

where bare brush and trees only purpose

were to collect rare Spring snowflakes

are  L I F E T I M E S

that never perish

and nor do the ones

who take the time

to recognize

what they notice.          .          .

I won the coin flip

to one of the biggest events

in my life

(this time)

but it was all I had

and all I wanted

in just two-minutes and seven seconds.          .          .          .

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man