The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

MOMENTS

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I
T H I N K

Christmas is so much more than lights on a tree
or a date on a calendar in the month of December
or a Season
or a Day
. . .it’s a bunch of moments
in a not so perfectly wrapped package
that when opened
you just really don’t know what
you’ve got
but
you know it’s
s p e c i a l

And what get’s me all lit up
is that it doesn’t happen all at once
. . .it comes to us in a series of
m o m e n t s

A MOMENT:
I was gifted a free Starbucks
while in the drive thru
twice during the week of Christmas

A MOMENT:
I stopped back at one of hometown favorite hole in the wall dives

And I was literally shocked that after some 45 years that I’ve been gone the place actually never changed;
as I was eating my usual,
three dogs with everything

The waitress asked me how I liked everything
and when I told her
how much I liked it
and even more
how much I had missed this
after all of these years
she smiled and said,
“Good, because it’s on the House; a Secret Santa picked up your bill.”

A MOMENT:
I was asked to give a Blessing at a Youth Community Christmas Bash
for at need kids/parents
who came to have a meal
make crafts
dance
GET GIFTED

And as I was walking around
way overdressed in
my suit and tie
because of two earlier Memorial Services I conducted
several people came up to me
thinking I was a politician
a councilman
except one little guy
who asked me if I was
Santa Claus
I and I shot back at him,
“Do you think Santa would come dressed like this?”
and I love his
little-kid-speak-the-truth-because-you-don’t-know-how-to-lie-remark:
“Hey, I know Santa don’t always come looking like Santa but that don’t mean he ain’t Santa Claus!”

A MOMENT:
The lady in front of me
pumping gas at the pump
with a cool
License Plate:

When I said,
“Great Licencse Plate!”
she walked back to me and asked,
“Do you want to know what it means?”
And when I told her, “Absolutely”
she told me that it had nothing to do with her
running marathons or half marathons or
W H A T
she ASPIRES
to be
but
“I ASPIRE
to be all I’ve been created to be
no matter how many roadblocks
or short-cuts I need to take to get me
to the
FINISH LINE”

I
T H I N K
Lifetimes
can me lived in
m o m e n t s
and that when you have that
Special Season
they not only get accentuated
but magnified
and hopefully
r e a l i z e d
n o t i c e d
r e c o g n i z e d
K N O W N

I
T H I N K
that Special Season
is a never-ending
NOW
a moment
within
THE
M O M E N T
b u t
what do
Y O U
T H I N K



Hap Hap HAPPIEST TIME OF THE YEAR

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Happy?

It’s not a hard to ask question.         .         .

It might be the toughest one to answer

or at least to try and understand

TO  ANSWER:

Are you HAPPY?

Brian Rea)

Johnny Mathis and a host of others have been singing for the 6 weeks IT’S    THE    MOST    WONDERFUL    TIME    OF    THE   YEAR

Charles Dickens wrote:
IT’S  THE  BEST  OF  TIMES, IT’S  THE  WORST  OF  TIMES

and even though it was from a TALE  OF  TWO  CITIES

and not

THE  CHRISTMAS  CAROL

it somehow seems that it could well fit,
doesn’t it?
The World is a huge

M   A   G   N   I   F   Y   I   N   G          G   L   A   S   S  

about now.          .          .

E        N        L        A        R        G        I        N        G

especially those things that make us the most unhappiest:Loss
Disappointment
Unmet
Expectation
DeathIllness
Job Security
Money Woes
Health
Family
Distances
or
anything else you might want to place in this:_________________________________________________________________________

HAPPINESS has traditionally been considered an elusive and evanescent thing. To some, even trying to achieve it is an exercise in futility. It has been said that “happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.”

Social scientists have caught the butterfly. After 40 years of research, they attribute happiness to three major sources: genes, events and values. Armed with this knowledge and a few simple rules, we can improve our lives and the lives of those around us. We can even construct a system that fulfills our founders’ promises and empowers all Americans to pursue happiness.
Psychologists and economists have studied happiness for decades. They begin simply enough — by asking people how happy they are.

The richest data available to social scientists is the University of Chicago’s General Social Survey, a survey of Americans conducted since 1972. This widely used resource is considered the scholarly gold standard for understanding social phenomena. The numbers on happiness from the survey are surprisingly consistent. Every other year for four decades, roughly a third of Americans have said they’re “very happy,” and about half report being “pretty happy.” Only about 10 to 15 percent typically say they’re “not too happy.” Psychologists have used sophisticated techniques to verify these responses, and such survey results haveprovedaccurate.

Beneath these averages are some demographic differences. For many years, researchers found that women were happier than men, although recent studies contend that the gap has narrowed or may even have been reversed. Political junkies might be interested to learn that conservative women are particularly blissful: about 40 percent say they are very happy. That makes them slightly happier than conservative men and significantly happier than liberal women. The unhappiest of all are liberal men; only about a fifth consider themselves very happy.          .          .

Mind you.        .        .

This story was op-ed was written by

Albert C. Brooks

in the New York Times

DECEMBER 13, 2014

but it could be

TODAY’S  HEADLINES

o r

T         O         M         O         R         R         O         W  ‘   S

So.          .          .

what      makes      you      happy?

It’s   not   answering

the   opposite   of

WHAT    MAKES    YOU    SAD?

Is  it  the  Hap

H  A  P

HAPPIEST   TIME  OF  THE  YEAR ?

Could it be?

Something tells me

you won’t need to consult the

Social Scientists

or house up in their

respective labs to

F I N D     O U T

and better.        .        .

provide that illusive feeling

for another.        .        .

Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:

You’re   the
R  e  a  s  o  n 

for      the
S   e  a  s  o  n

.          .          .Share   Excessively

(o   f   t   e   n)

BE    A    Producer    of    Smiles

infest

infect

others with

J          O          Y

Make it a neverending

incurable

epidemic.         .        .

E        X        C         E        S        S        I        V        E        L        Y

YOUR DANCE

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https://youtu.be/Ok0IzCapyJ0

I love this short video

that many people have brought to my attention

for the past couple of weeks for 

TWO  REASONS:

  1. You don’t need to speak a foreign language (or any language to understand it)
  2. I could embarrass any one of my kids/grandkids or all of them at any given time just by breaking out in 

D            A            N            C            E

It didn’t matter if it was in the middle of an amusement park

It didn’t matter if it was in the middle of a restaurant 

It didn’t matter if it was in the middle of Church

It certainly didn’t matter if it was a Father/Daughter Dance

It didn’t matter if it was at a concert

My moves are drop dead

L            E            T            H            A            L

and I believe,

highly CONTAGIOUS

Maybe there was a not-so-small-

T H I R D     R E A S O N :

I’d do anything to connect 

F O U R T H     R E A S O N

Make them laugh

F  I  F  T  H     R  E  A  S  O  N

Make sure that the attention was never put on them in an uncomfortable situation.          .          .

Did I always achieve my objectives.          .          .

Not always;
Sometimes not even close to SOMETIMES

But no language was ever necessary 

TO  SHOW

I      l o v e     y o u

.          .          .that’s a MOVE

that needs no DANCING AROUND

and it’s COMMUNICATED

p           e           r           f           e           c           t           l           y

Every Time

Hey.          .          .

Can I have this Dance?

No Big Deal.          .          .

I’ve got a MOVE for you, too

Cue the Music
 ( or.       .       .n o t )

$33.76

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Sometimes a Starbucks
DRIVE THRU
is way more than a
STARBUCKS
DRIVE THRU. . .
And when it is
MAKE SURE YOU ARE IN THAT CAR
(especially the one right behind THE ONE). . .

It was something
that I not only began
but shared a little over a year ago
JUST BECAUSE. . ,

JUST BECAUSING
is when you do something anonymously for someone
who not only has no idea who has done something nice for them
but in no way can even begin to think about re-paying you
because they have not idea of who
JUST BECAUSE’D
t h e m. . .

After placing my order
I patiently waited to get my coffee and egg white bites
and after paying with my App
I told the Barista
I wanted to pay for the car behind me
and she told me
I really didn’t want to do it because
total was $33.76. . .
and when I told her that I was feeling especially
s e l f i s h
she told me that many people
THIS TIME OF THE YEAR
pay it backward
(for the car behind them)
but not at that price. . .
And when I put a $5.00 bill in her tip jar
I told her that she’s never thanked enough and how much I appreciated her taking care of all of us. . .

SO VERY CARING CATALYST of me, huh. . .
but the point is never so much what I do
so much as what I inspire others to do
THERE IS NO TIME
THAT IS NOT
THIS TIME OF THE YEAR. . .

When I went through the
DRIVE THRU
this afternoon
and paid it behind
The Barista
when I told him that I wanted to take care
of the car behind me
without blinking he stated
“That’ll be $63.05”
and when I gave him my iPhone
so that he could swipe my App
he said,
“Man, you were really going to pay THAT? I was just joking it;
It’s only $5.50 but I like your style.”

Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
The secret to having a great Holiday
(or an awesome day)
IS GIVING ONE
J U S T
B E C A U S E
It may cost you $33.76
but it won’t compare to what
you get in return. . .

JOIN ME


For the Benefits

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Were you there
THAT DAY
THAT TIME
THAT MOMENT
THAT PLACE
when they handed out
P A T I E N C E
or did you somehow get
sidetracked
miss the memo
forget the time
get lost
had something better to do
or
couldn’t wait around long enough to get your fill. . . ?

Just in case
any or all
of the above happened to be the case. . .
NEWS FLASH:

Here’s an Easy Way to Become More Patient

Illustration by Sydney Rae Hass for TIMEBY ALEXANDRA SIFFERLIN APRIL 4, 2016

Would you rather take $30 today, or wait for $50 three weeks from now? While the average person would grab the money and run, a new study finds that people with one particular emotional trait—those who are gracious—have more patience and self-control.

“The human mind has a tendency to value the present more than the future,” says study author David DeSteno, a professor of psychology at Northeastern University. “That’s related to all kinds of bad outcomes, from credit card debt to addiction.” According to DeSteno, a person’s emotional states have long been blamed for that person’s impatience, and the path to becoming more patient was thought to be through logic and willpower. But in his new study, published in the journal Emotion, DeSteno and his team set out to find if some emotions, specifically gratitude, can actually help people become more patient.

In the study, the researchers asked 105 people to complete a task on a computer. When they were close to finishing, the computer was rigged to break down. The experimenter would come in and say that when it’s fixed, the person will have to start the task over from the beginning. Then, another actor in the room would try to help the person fix the computer. Eventually, the actor would hit a button on the computer that would cause it to come back to life in five seconds, right where the person left off. Most of the people in the study reported feeling gratitude towards the actor. For the next three weeks, the researchers continued to measure gratitude levels. People who felt more gratitude during that frustrating computer task were also more likely to feel gratitude throughout their week.

W O W
and we just thought
G R A T I T U D E
was good for a day
a Season
served with
lots of fixings
dressings
friends. . .

At the end of three weeks, the men and women were offered some cash immediately or a higher amount later on. People in the study who were more gracious were more willing to wait for more money down the line.

“We found that gratitude increases people’s self control, and it increases their ability to wait,” says DeSteno. “[When] you cultivate gratitude in your life, it’s like a self-control buffer. It helps you more frequently be ready to resist temptation and do the right thing, whatever that right thing may be.”

The trick, according to DeSteno, is to not always focus on the biggest things in your life that you’re thankful for. “If you think about the same thing every day you are going to eventually habituate to it,” he says. Instead, focus on smaller things, like a nice favor someone did for you.

“By taking time to count your blessings and focus on things that you are grateful for, you are enhancing your self control,” he says.

So. . .
Just where were you at
THAT DAY
they passed out
P A T I E N C E. . . ?
Has it drained from you like water from a colander. . .
Is it too late to go back, stand in line, WAIT. . .
Is it truly a way to extend
T H A N K S G I V I N G
past the WISHBONE
and the last piece of pie. . . ?

FOR THE BENEFITS
be willing to
FIND OUT. . .

YOUR BENCH (mark)

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Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . .
I don’t much care what you’re
looking at
SO MUCH
AS WHAT YOU
S E E

Out of all of the sights
and sounds
we’re bound to be
bombarded with
over the next few weeks
there’ll be none more important
than the ones you won’t so
much look at
or even
SEE
as much as the ones you’ll be able to
S H A R E. . .

The most important Bench that exists
isn’t the one we occupy;
IT IS THE ONE WE
S H A R E
with Another. . .

In this Season of
LIGHT and HOPE
there’s a certain
guaranteed
B R O K E N N E S S
mostly sitting right next to us
and the only one that can make a difference
is You. . .

You’ll never be called to
LIGHT THE WORLD
so much as just to
s i m p l y
share your glow. . .

So
take another
g a n d e r
glimpse
at what you didn’t see
but need view


Mister Rogers’D

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It was a staple in most households when we were growing up and there were literally only three (4) channels on your tv set:
NBC
ABC
CBS
PBS
and most often I was a human remote control
changing the stations
upon request. . .

We’d tune in just about every early evening while my mom was finishing preparing dinner and it would be my job to watch my younger brothers; we’d watch MR ROGERS and though I acted like it was for little kids, this not-so-little-kid got a lot out of it, but maybe not as much as I got this past Friday when I went to see Tom Hanks in
A BEAUTIFUL IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

Thanksgiving is just a few days away
and maybe we’ve already snuck a piece of pumpkin pie
or some fruitcake
or a slice or two of turkey. . .

I have a request for you this Thanksgiving:
If you haven’t already
sometime over this holiday weekend, maybe even
T H A N K S G I V I N G
itself,
I want you
I’m literally begging you
TO BE SELFISH
P L E A S E
be selfish enough to go see this movie. . .

I’m so glad that this small Trailer showed my favorite thing in the movie:
THE ONE MINUTE OF SILENCE SCENE
with the powerful
the most awesomely powerful message:
“LET’S JUST TAKE A MOMENT AND THINK ABOUT ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED US INTO BEING. . .JUST ONE MINUTE!

Mr Rogers was one special person because it was his life’s mission to make everyone he met feel
SPECIAL;
he was
COMPASSION IN ACTION
KINDNESS ENACTED
and more:
He’s inspired us to be the same. . .
Join me in doing
JUST THAT. . .

Please, won’t you be my neighbor?

Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
It won’t guarantee you a
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
It’ll give you a most
Enchanted Life. . .

EMPTY SHELVES

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ONCE they held
Whatever was deemed
Important
Significant
Sacred

NOW they are emptied

THEY worlded Memories
of what Was
But More
What Hallowedly WAS
THE WAS

Can’t ever be fully photographed
and yet
never has to be
FULL HEARTED GRATEFUL
What never has to be

Empty Shelves
are never fully empty
and what habitats them
can’t be seen
so much as
f e l t
for an ever

DECORATED

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Putting Christmas decorations up early can make you happier, psychologist says

If you’re already yearning to get your tree out of storage and stock up on mince pies, then there’s good news. . .

  • 16:28, 14 SEP 2019

Reporter Matthew Porter tells us, it’s going to make you happier and I’ve got to believe we need no studies to show that if YOU are happier, the folks around you are going to get some happier benefits, too. . .

Does this mean we can start getting excited about Christmas already?

The most Christmas obsessed people among us will already be counting down the days to mince pies, mulled wine (OK, Maybe not the Mulled wine) and presents.

But, while the nights have started drawing in a bit, there’s no longer a long way to go until that magical month of December.

Nonetheless, if you’re looking for an excuse to get in the festive spirit as soon as possible, then science is your friend.

Getting the decorations up early might draw groans from your less festive friends, but it turns out there might be genuine psychological benefits to savouring a few extra weeks of Christmas fun.

Y E S
it’s true:
I have my Charlie Brown Christmas Tree up
3 6 5
days a year . . .
S T I L L :

You don’t have to wait until December to get those decorations up

The impulse to get the tree out at the earliest opportunity has a rational logic.

Psychoanalyst Steve McKeown says: “Although there could be a number of symptomatic reasons why someone would want to obsessively put up decorations early, most commonly for nostalgic reasons either to relive the magic or to compensate for past neglect.

McKeown added: “In a world full of stress and anxiety people like to associate to things that make them happy and Christmas decorations evoke those strong feelings of the childhood. 

“Decorations are simply an anchor or pathway to those old childhood magical emotions of excitement. So putting up those Christmas decorations early extends the excitement!”

So there we have it. If having all your decorations up makes you happy, then there’s no reason you shouldn’t indulge your impulse and get that tinsel hanging up

THE REAL SCOOP?
The Real Deal
is that I’m not so much of a Christmas fanatic
AT ALL
even though I post on the
25th day of every month:
M E R R Y
P R A C T I C E
CHRISTMAS. . .
It’s not the day I like
It’s the the Season I love
It’s the
F E E L I N G
that I will forever strive to make
A
L I F E S T Y L E
and hopefully infect others
so contagiously
they’ll want to make it a
L I F E S T Y L E
t o o. . .

JOIN ME

CRY BABY METER

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I call it
B E I N G
SENSITIVE
CARING
IN TOUCH
VULNERABLE
OPEN
TRANSPARENT
EMPATHETIC
SYMPATHETIC
well, yes, even
A CARING CATALYST

. . .O T H E R S
well, they call it being a
WIMP
SOFT
SACCHARINE
MUSHY
GUSHY
A
C R Y
B A B Y

Here’s the scene. . .
Actually, four of them. . .
When I came home around 4:45 there was no one home and so after changing, I flipped on the tv and knew I didn’t want to finish Dr Phil or begin ELLEN and I wasn’t crazy about the mumbo-jumbo on SPORTSCENTER, so with remote in hand I went to HBO and the first thing that came up was the ending of BRUCE ALMIGHTY:

ANYTHING?
Go ahead. . .
No one’s watching,
No hand in the air to admit that the scene might have put some dampness in the corner of your eye. . .
As BRUCE ALMIGHTY ended I switched it over to the ending of
MOULIN ROUGE:

https://youtu.be/5OGoNAFD6Gs


NOTHING?
Oh, for me, yeah. . .
IT WAS ON
Lump-in-the-throat-can’t-swallow-want-to-primal-scream-cry. . .
and the before I could fully get one good
swallow
I switched the channel to the old 2005 movie
IN HER SHOES:

SOMETHING. . . ?
Not only because I’ve been a life long fan of
e.e. cummings
but because sometimes there are just
W O R D S
that a Heart shouts
and a mouth can never whisper
that says everything you ever wanted to say
but no way ever could
and yet. . .
HAVE
with THAT person
you know that living a life time with
can never be long enough
so there’s an Eternity
to have your never-do-you-part Lives
(I love you in THAT way, Erin)
and just seeing that scene. . .
feeling those words:
t e a r s
and even as I was getting the remote control wet
I flipped over to the final scene of Tom Hanks
BIG:

https://youtu.be/aqyj9YjPjyk

W E L L. . . ?
Is there anything better than not just
GOING HOME
but actually
BEING HOME. . .
I loved what Elizabeth Perkins character said right before this last scene when Hanks was trying to explain to her that he was really just a 13 year-old kid and she said, “WHO DOESN’T HAVE A 13 YEAR OLD KID LIVING INSIDE OF THEM?”
Oh, my, my, my, my. . .
I just clicked the tv off
and sat there in the dimly lit room
. . .the cat and the dog were both a little curious
about their odd owner/caregiver
who was anything but an
owner of his feelings
caregiver of his emotions
and loving every moment of
i t
. . .I need no
CRY BABY METER
it’s on
often for me
with a movie scene
a song
a well phrased line
a. . .

TRUTH:
If there’s an intervention
If there’s a therapy
If there’s a medication
. . .I don’t want it;
If there’s a Cure
I look not to be healed. . .
Y O U ?


Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man