Healing — Page 74

Death by LONELINESS

August 9, 2017 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

Have you ever been lonely?

Do you know someone

who you believe is

L O N E L Y. . .

Who would think

that it could ever be deadly:

L O N E L I N E S S

The latest studies

T E L L

that in the United States,

about a quarter of the population lives a l o n e;

. . .In fact, RESEARCH presented

at the 125th Annual Convention of the American Psychological Association

brings out the connection between

Loneliness and a Premature Death. . .

The Shocking Scoop:

Julianne Holt-Lundstad, A Professor of Psychology

at Brigham Young University

presented evidence from two meta-analyses

on the effects of social connection and H E A L T H

The first study looked at over 148 studies

involving more than 300,000 people

and found that people with SOCIAL CONNECTIONS

had a 50% lower risk of dying early

compared to people who did not have

strong social circles. . .

The other analysis of 70 studies

found that loneliness, isolation and living alone

all had a significant effect on a person’s

risk for early death. . .

Holt-Lundstad said, “There is robust evidence that social isolation and loneliness significantly increase risk for premature mortality, and the magnitude of the risk exceeds that of many leading health indicators.”

In a 2016 interview with FORTUNE,

John Cacioppo, author of

LONELINESS: HUMAN NATURE AND THE NEED FOR SOCIAL CONNECTION,

believes that loneliness has a physical and psychological effect on people’s health:

“Loneliness is bad for your mental health: Well-being goes down, depressive symptoms go up, your likelihood of developing mental health and affective disorders increases,” Cacioppo said. . .

Holt-Lundstad even went further to comment,

“Indeed, many nations around the world now suggest we are facing a ‘loneliness epidemic.’ The challenge we face now is what can be done about it?”

Can it be this simple:

As a Caring Catalyst

c a n

Merely BE-FRIENDING Some O N E

actually save their lives?

Maybe the deeper

Your Kind of L O V E

August 7, 2017 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

Sister Love

Brotherly Love

Christian Love

Marriage Love

Friend Love

Parental Love

Geographical Love

Passionate Love

Romantic Love

spell it

in many different ways

this thing

we call

L O V E

but it matters not how

you spell it

define it

embrace it

s h o w it

not how

where

when

but t h a t

you give it

not consistently. . .

e n d l e s s l y

. . .Maybe the greatest kind of love there is:

Y O U R S

JUST BECAUSE’D

August 4, 2017 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

Have you ever done

a n y t h i n g

j u s t b e c a u s e. . .

Most of the time

we stay away from the

J u s t B e c a u s e s. . .

it was the answer we got when

a real answer didn’t want to be given

or worse

there really was no real answer. . .

or worse, still—

when the envelope was pushed too far

with the final:

B E C A U S E

I S A I D S O !

But there’s another side of the

J U S T B E C A U S E

coin. . .

A lady who attends North Royalton Christian Church,

the small Church I serve

recently received a note in the mail

with the words:

J U S T B E C A U S E

that wrapped around a Hundred-Dollar Bill. . .

the same week I received the same note

with a $25 Giant Eagle Gift Card wrapped inside. . .

the same day I saw a mother and her son

standing in the check out line

waiting patiently for their turn to

pay for their goods;

mom saw her son spying

the candy rack. . .

when she saw him zero in on a

S N I C K E R S B A R

she picked it up and handed it to him

with a huge smile on her face

that matched the one looking back up

and simply said:

J U S T B E C A U S E

It got the

Caring Catalyst

in me thinking:

“W H Y N O T?”

. . .Why not go around

J U S T B E C A U S I N G

others. . . ?

It has to be more productive

more producing

more effective

than merely finding painted rocks

with an email/FaceBook address

on the back

instructing to take a pic

before placing it somewhere else

j u s t

so you can see where it travels

in the to and fro. . .

. . .So while pumping gas

I saw a man

who seemed to be wearing everything he owned

walking across the parking lot and perching himself

on a chair outside of a store

letting the sun shine on his face

as he squinted skyward

sipping on a cup of McDonald’s coffee. . .

I walked over to him

with my $25 gift card and asked him,

“How you doing?”

His response was epic:

“Blessed by the Best!”

“Well, maybe this can make the blessing even better,”

He spontaneously hugged me

. . .thanked me. . .

and I thanked him for the honor of allowing me to share. . .

As I drove away

his face was skyward once again

s m i l i n g

arms outstretched. . .

Have you ever been

J U S T B E C A U S E ‘ D

I don’t want to hear about your

F I R S T

J U S T B E C A U S E

e x p e r i e n c e

I want to s e e your

h u n d r e d and f i r s t. . .

J U S T B E C A U S E

The very simple r i p p l e

you create

is the tsunami

a single person

needs to experience. . .

J O I N M E:

C A R I N G

July 26, 2017 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

Is there?

Is there really a

R I G H T

W R O N G

way to

C A R E

DO you

. . .do YOU

C A R E ?

If we had all of humanity

stand at one single solitary moment

and raise their hands and voices

to show that we all believed

in CARING

as a good thing. . .

would there be anyone not voting to make it

unanimous. . . ?

Caring is a good thing,

isn’t it. . . ?

It’s one of the few

the rare

o n e

thing

that distinguishes us

as being a good person

or a bad person. . .

It’s not really whether or not

we care

but maybe what

w h o

we care about

that can make

c a r i n g

t o x i c

Sometimes

it may be caring so much

about what others think and feel

that destroys

or empowers us. . .

Is there a way

N O T

to care

e a s i l y

without g u i l t

or f e a r

or r e t r i b u t i o n

and still be able to care

in a most meaningful

in a very compassionate

in an extremely powerful

w a y. . .

Well. . .

m a y b e. . .

Just by realizing how not so often others don’t give us a second thought. . .

Just by realizing that much of any one’s reality is actually imagined. . .

Just by realizing that we can take things as seriously as we want. . .

Just by realizing that we can change anything at anytime in anyway we like. . .

Just by realizing that by not caring may be our greatest freedom to caring. . .

Can we care too much. . .

a b s o l u t e l y

e s p e c i a l l y

about the wrong things

. . .and when we do. . .

HELP YOURSELF FIRST. . .SO YOU CAN HELP OTHERS

EVERYONE’S REPLACEABLE. . .SO SEEK OUT THOSE WHO APPRECIATE YOU

NEVER COMPROMISE YOUR SELF-RESPECT OR SELF-LOVE

DON’T NEGOTIATE YOUR BORDERS OR BOUNDARIES

The truest of Caring Catalysts

r e c o g n i z e s

that caring too much

may well be worse

than caring not at all. . .

and let’s face it. . .

if your reading this right now

at this very moment. . .

you care

most about

T H A T

LAUGH MAN

July 19, 2017 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

The World is a Sad Place

u n l e s s. . .

Thanks to the World Laughter Tour and Dr. Steve Wilson

I became a Certified Laughter Leader

in February, 2016

but often

I’m more C E R T I F I A B L E

than CERTIFIED. . .

I recently provided a workshop

for a Hospice Team

that was organized by their FUN COMMITTEE. . .

Shortly following the workshop

one of the Nurses on the Team sent me this email:

Chuck, Thanks for the laughs. I think you answered a question for me. A year ago an acquaintance of my brother and I had posted on FaceBook that she could not tell the difference between us from posted pictures. My nephew posted that the the pictures where the guy was smiling was my brother. The other pictures were of his uncle, me. Since I do not use social media, I wouldn’t have noticed except my daughter pointed out to me how she had put her cousin in his place. (Such fire can come from gentle souls!) Since then though I have been checking in with the mirror to see where the smile went I was most puzzled because (1) My nickname in high school was “ear to ear,” and (2) I thought that I was smiling. I have been watching my peers in team and I have noticed that we do not smile except the we are laughing. As I watched you, I did not see a smile except with laughter. When your face relaxed the corners of your mouth relaxed downward. I have a voice from the past that says, “It takes more muscles to frown than to smile.” What has happened? I think that it is this: Both smiles and frowns are surface expressions and quickly deceive Of the two, though, are work allows for the frown as the more acceptable. I think that we spend a great deal of effort in the trenches where smiles are inappropriate. We have lost the ability to smile from disuse of smiling muscles So though we may be smiling on the inside, our faces do not show it. I do not think that this is either good or bad. I thing that it as the artist, Chuck Close has said, “The face is a road map of a person’s life.” You showed me today that you do not have to be able to smile to be able to laugh, Hohohahaha, YEAH! Thanks.

How about an

“A”

for paying way more than just Attention

but for really

N O T I C I N G

Harry Chapin

is still one of my favorite musicians. . .

He died tragically in a car accident

on July 16, 1981, at 39 years of age. . .

He wrote a song,

L A U G H M A N

that I’ve always related to personally and publicly

long before becoming a Certified Laughter Leader

. . .maybe it embodies and describes the essence of all of us:

https://youtu.be/ZpQ_eqi4UKU

The World can be a really sad Place. . .

u n l e s s

I make it a different

r e s i d e n c e

join me

in proving

w h o e v e r

L A U G H S

l a s t s. . .

Let’s be about

P R O V I N G I T

The POEM of YOU

July 14, 2017 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

We don’t often put

P E N

P A P E R

l i t e r a l l y

but it never leaves the pages

of our lives

that are continually

being

written

edited

re-written.

It was about four years ago when I read

A L L O W A B L E S

Niki Giovanni

and then

B A M

there it was

falling out of a book

that I didn’t even remember

I had placed it

and then within an hour

in a post from Frank Ostaseski

I killed a spider

Not a murderous brown recluse

Nor even the black widow

And if the truth were told this

Was only a small

Sort of papery spider

Who should have run

When I picked up the book

But she didn’t

And she scared me

And I smashed her

I don’t think

I am allowed

To kill something

Because I am

Frightened

The poem didn’t have the impact in 2013

that it did when I re-read it

July 13, 2017

A C C I D E N T L Y

C O I N C I D E N T L Y

I N T E N T I O N A L L Y

Is this a simple concept?

TO REFRAIN FROM KILLING ANY LIVING BEING, CULTIVATE THE PRACTICE OF HONORING ALL LIFE

Thich Nhat Hahn once said:

“Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I vow to cultivate compassion and learn ways to protect the lives of people, animals and plants. I am determined not to kill, not to let others kill, I cannot condone any act of killing in the world in my thinking and in my way of life.”

Q U E S T I O N :

How do you we practice t h a t quote

as we see and read of the violence in our world?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh of the Day:

This is where our Pen comes to Paper

This is where the

P O E M

of our lives

is not only written

not only read

not only heard

not only seen

but truly

e x p e r i e n c e d

L I V E D

and it starts

with my

pen

and it starts

with my

paper

and it starts

with my

poem

not someone else’s

j o i n

so that the poem

not only becomes

epic

but continues long past the last stroke of

our

pens

Children ONE and ALL

June 30, 2017 By ChuckBehrens 6 Comments

A Sea of People offer the most unique of voyages. . .

It was a great night

for an outdoor concert. . .

but not just any concert;

It was the DEAD & Company Concert

at Blossom Music Center

near Cleveland, Ohio

And it was spectacular

. . . It had little to do with the

m u s i c

and certainly nothing to do with the massive

traffic jam

that made my usual 45 trip to Blossom

a three plus hour ordeal

which cost me

and many more

mostly the whole first set

of the show. . .

The Saving Grace?

The 20,000 concert goers

of all

shapes

sizes

sexes

ages

political ideations

literary preferences

religious opinions

hair styles

clothing choices. . .

came together for a little while

in a field

to listen to

more than just a few musical selections

from an iconic group;

we just came together

laughed

high-fived

showed kindness

gave consideration

were Caring Catalysts

with not just a few memories

but some life-long-changes

which will do much more than just

l i n g e r

but to powerfully illustrate:

Love in the Air only makes a D I F F E R E N C E when your Sails are UP

Sadly. . .

I am not an official

D E A D H E A D

I was there as an extension of a gift to my son,

C o n n o r. . .

but I became a part of the tribe

that night

that moment

and now a lifetime of

m e m o r i e s

T H E T A K E A W A Y:

When a group of people come together

even for m u s i c

there’s a capacity not just to become

Children

One and All

a g a i n

but more. . .

to become friends. . .

and

m o r e:

F A M I L Y

The Worst Shake of DARK

June 21, 2017 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

T H E D A R K N I G H T O F T H E S O U L

we all have some

but

S O M E

have an everlasting, eternal D A R K N I G H T

with no chance of dawn

and dusk being a far too long ago memory. . .

C A R R I E F I S H E R

. . .her autopsy reports were released this week

screaming that there was a deadly cocktail

of countless illicit and prescription drugs

in her system. . .

THE NEWS

as it always does with public figures,

began a new tidal wave of grief

and a fresh round of moralizing

on the wastefulness of addiction

and the perceived weakness of the poor victim,

which sadly is the stuff that keeps

TMZ and EXTRA and The National Enquirer in business. . .

If you’ve never suffered from a Mental Illness

you can’t begin to

K N O W

let alone imagine what it possible could be like

or f e e l

It would be like attempting to tell what it feels like to jump out of a plane

without ever having even been to an airport

let alone on a flight. . .

and yet we

P R E S U P P O S E

Carrie talked openly about her demons

She never hid them

She never ran from them

She never shied away from letting us see her scars

even if it would make us wince

even if we’d prefer that they would stay hidden. . .

Mental Illness

is still the only kind of illness

we make people feel guilty

for being afflicted . . .

By the end of this week

I will have conducted three funerals for a

24, 27 and 28 year old folks

who battled their mental illness the same way

that Carrie Fisher

they weren’t quite as famous

but they’re all quite as dead

It’s a war

without a promise of ending

or a long-sought cease fire

and worse. . .

we seem to

at the least

be handing out the ammunition

and most definitely offering

little or no

s a n c t u a r y

and then shake our heads in pity

for the unfortunate causalities . . .

W H A T T O D O ?

It’s a legitimate question

if you care enough

to ask it

and then

simply wait for an answer. . .

Every year,

according to Newsweek Magazine

about 42.5 million American adults or

18.2 percent of the total adult population in the United States

suffers from some mental illness

enduring conditions such as

depression, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia. . .

It would seem that this

above all would be the norm and not the opposite:

The War

(if there truly is one)

on Mental Illness

rests not on the Mentally Ill

but the overwhelming majority

choosing to be Caring Catalysts

for more than just every once in a while

or when it happens to not-very-often

is convenient. . .

A F T E R A L L :

Don’t pull the shade up

on the

D A R K N I G H T O F S O U L

tear it down

and L I G H T a path

that well might not have ever seen

even a flicker !

When Humility Dials a Phone

June 2, 2017 By ChuckBehrens 2 Comments

Sometimes it happens to

M E. . .

Y o u ?

Sometimes my inner and outer

Caring Catalyst

gets scabbed over

o k. . .

C A L L O U S E D

and then it gets

s o f t e n e d

with the

s i m p l e s t

the most

s i g n i f i c a n t

things:

A mere phone call. . .

I hadn’t heard from him in a long time–

y e a r s

We had been colleagues

but never close

and never social. . .

we might have seen each other across the room

at a conference or a luncheon presentation

but neither would make a move to meet

in the middle. . .

an acquaintance

nothing more

maybe even

l e s s

and then

I had heard recently after giving a presentation

at a local hospital

that he had suffered a severe stroke. . .

I think I reached out

benignly

via a FaceBook Instant Message

that I was thinking of him and wishing him the best

and then. . .

h o n e s t l y

I f o r g o t a b o u t him. . .

When the cell phone rang

I didn’t recognize the number

but I broke my rule of answering a

number I didn’t recognize

and it was him. . .

He quickly identified himself

and even before I could say

h e l l o

or ask him how he was doing

he was apologizing. . .

asking forgiveness for

not keeping in touch

talking about me behind my back

not being supportive when he knew I had been going through a particularly tough professional situation. . .

and then through broken sobs

he was asking if I and everyone I knew

could pray for his healing—

not his complete healing from the stroke,

just a partial healing that would allow him to play his music

on the piano and guitar

he often did for patients and families

and with a jazz group he would jam with

on Friday nights. . .

the scab gave loose. . .

the callous

s o f t e n d

Sometimes it happens to me. . .

y o u ?

Sometimes my inner and outer

Caring Catalyst

gets scabbed

ok. . .

C A L L O U S E D;

Has that happened to you?

When was the last time?

Me?

It happened when

Humility Dialed A Phone

and

a n s w e r e d

the scab gave loose

the callous–

softened. . .

Me. . . ?

h u m b l y

c h a n g e d

B I K E D

May 19, 2017 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

I’ve got a mouth that belongs in the Circus.

For as long as I’ve talked, I’ve loved to talk. . .

from A-B-C’s to Abstracts. . .

from simple syllables to significant stories,

I love the written word—spoken.

I’ve made my livelihood with my mouth, from sermons to speaking engagements to Life Celebrations, Memorial Services, Keynotes, Workshops, Weddings, Commitment Ceremonies, Master of Ceremonies, Small groups, Leadership Training Series to Counseling sessions to simple phone calls to 1 on 1 conversations.

My mouth has taken me to many different places and put me in front of a lot of Eclectic audiences,

but one of my favorite of late, without any hesitations,

was at Lake Erie Harley-Davidson Sales Company for

T H E B L E S S I N G O F T H E B I K E S

I unfortunately met Mike Stevens a couple of years ago when his father George, who had been the proud owner of Lake Erie Harley-Davidson, died of a heart attack.

I was honored to conduct George’s service which included an awesome tribute of a motorcycle procession to the cemetery.

Because of a prior commitment,

I wasn’t able to participate in the Blessing of the Bikes in 2014,

but was so honored that Mike didn’t forget me and booked me to be there

the last two years

and then again this year on May 13, 2017

There was not a cloud in the sky and it’s blueness served as a perfect backdrop for a

perfect Sun and all of it’s warm rays. . .

there would be no fear

that this beautiful morning

would be more of a Baptism than a Blessing,

in fact,

the only thing that outshone the Sun

was the multitude of warmth and brightness

by those who came to have a complimentary pancake breakfast before

a brief meditation. . .

and standing proudly by their Bikes

before heading out on their various treks.

“There’s a huge ROCK that you can’t help but to see when you pull into this Dealership. It represents a man, George Stevens, the foundation for this Company and more, the one who has brought countless people together. . .and still is. The Road promises us nothing, in fact, it almost always guarantees lots of danger and uncertainty, but it offers up a Creed where the Law is Love and the Gospel is Peace…Ride Well…Ride Safe…,”

I offered up before going to each bike and individually blessing it and its Rider(s).

I usually asked each bike owner how many miles they had on their bikes and no matter what their answer,

I would offer,

“And yet the best miles are those still yet to be ridden. . .No matter what roads you go down or come back up, from the most dangerous to the most comforting, may you be blessed to bless those you’ll undoubtably meet. . . .”

A 68 year old lady who as ready to saddle up for a day of riding told me that she never felt more alive than when she was riding.

Another lady told me that this was a Sanctuary on two-wheels; that she felt truly worshipful and the Presence while riding.

A man, eyes filled with tears told me that he only had gotten his bike because it was his dying wife’s last wish for him and he now rides every mile not for her, but with her;

A proud grandfather stood beside his bike with his small grandson by his side and proudly said, “This is his, he’s just letting me ride it for a little while longer. . .”

Couples, Ladies, Men, Young, Old

and all in between were there to show

intensely that Road before them

was for the Riding and the Living. . .

I was being accompanied to each bike by Lori, who literally had an offering bag, where the riders gave donations for Hospice of the Western Reserve.

I got B I K E D that day in a most intimate way.

B l e s s o r B l e s s e d

is there a distinction?

Uh. . .not THAT Saturday,

not for those couple of hours in the Sun

where the Sun was even more

magnificently manufactured

and much more pure because of it. . .

A Community came together

and He-Who-Was-First-Created was very Present;

A Journey wasn’t begun that morning,

only Continued in a most profound way

and the hummmmmm of the Engines

was really a Symphony of

H E A R T B E A T S

A b r a c a d a b r a a w e s o m e l y h e a l i n g

( S t i l l i s )

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