Gratitude — Page 54

Best In Show(ing UP)

September 2, 2016 By ChuckBehrens 2 Comments

This past Wednesday afternoon

there was a small gathering of staff in the Atrium

at David Simpson House House on

East 185th Street

to celebrate a very important

Member of the Hospice Staff

Tallulah

She’s been a therapy dog at The House for the past seven years

and it would be impossible to try to calculate

just how many lives—

patients. . .

families. . .

staff. . .

Tallulah has not just touched

but inspired—

patients. . .

families. . .

staff. . .

to also reach out and

T O U C H

We all gathered together

and surrounded her in a-not-so-perfect

c i r c l e

and while Tallulah was in the center

chewing on a treat

Dr. Kevin Dieter

led us in a unison reading,

TO LEARN FROM ANIMAL BEING:

Nearer to the earth’s heart, Deeper within its silence; Animals know this world in a way we never will.

We who are ever Distanced and distracted by the parade of bright windows thought opens; their seamless presence is not fractured thus.

Stranded between time gone and time emerging, we managed seldom to be where we are: Whereas they are always looking out from the here and now.

May we learn to return and rest in the beauty of animal being, Learn to lean low, leave our locked minds, and with freed senses feel the earth breathing with us.

May we enter into lightness of spirit, and slip frequently into the feel of the wild.

Let the clear silence of our animal being; cleanse our hearts of corrosive words.

May we learn to walk upon the earth with all their confidence and clear-eyed stillness so that our minds might be baptized in the name of the wind and the light and the rain.

One by One

each of us

by instinct

rather than instruction

left the circle and went into the middle

and gave her our own

little blessing that only

a heart can shout

and a mouth can’t begin to whisper

. . .I stood there and noticed

that eyes were weeping

what tissues can’t ever quite absorb

and chose not to think it was some kind of a

meaningful, sincere

G O O D B Y E

as a much more

intentional

devout

T H A N K Y O U

Tallulah

was making her last visit to the House

but not giving us her

Final Lesson. . .

Her Last Lecture

if we are Student enough to

l e a r n:

J u s t

S H O W I N G U P

B E I N G P R E S E N T

brings a

h e a l i n g

not found in an

intervention

therapy

prescription

plan of care

I V

syringe

pill

capsule

s a l v e. . .

And like her. . .

makes us the

BEST IN SHOW

Willie Morris wrote a book called

MY DOG SKIP

The Family Movie came out in 2000

As I was standing in that most sacred-imperfect Circle

the ending scene came to mind:

https://youtu.be/nLKMroK2bA0

Good Bye?

THANK YOU?

For now

and

for an ever

May the Peace that

Tallulah

has brought to many

now be that

Profound Peace

she’ll enjoy

f o r e v e r m o r e

as she crosses over

The Rainbow Bridge

but never out of our hearts.

Drinking from the Saucer

April 1, 2016 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

Have you ever done it before?

If you were at a Five-Star Restaurant and had just had a very expensive, satisfying dinner and the waitress, who has addressed your every whim and need, is now pouring your coffee to overflowing perfection so it’s a small moat in your saucer around your coffee cup.

Q U E S T I O N :

Are you an A P R I L F O O L enough

in front of all the guests,

enjoying dinner as you are,

going to S L U R P from your saucer?

Not even if it’s the best coffee ever,

Right?

Well, not many of us take notice

and might not readily admit it,

but the good stuff I S in the Saucer. . .

the Overflow is always/ALL ways

where IT’S at. . .

Any Real April Fool knows that, don’t they?

A few weeks ago,

I conducted the small memorial service for Charles.

I never met him before.

He was a hospice patient in a group home near Santa Barbara, CA.

He was 92 and had been there most of his life,

but his life was never defined by that little fact.

Charles was an April Fool every month of the year. . .

Charles drank from the saucer,

u n a b a s h e d l y, o f t e n,

with a smile on his face

and a pure, unadulterated happiness in his heart.

I learned that Charles had friends,

found true love,

traveled extensively,

had a job he took pride in,

and led a stress-free,

h a p p y l i f e !

Saucer slurping high living, huh?

The truest of April Fools

S e r i o u s l y ,

if given the chance IN or OUT of a Group Home,

if at our last breath,

we could KNOW,

not hope, wish, dream. . .

K N O W

that we had friends,

found true love,

traveled extensively,

had a job we took pride in,

and led a stress-free, happy life

—-S a u c e r – S i p p e r—–

Class A April Fool,

would you turn it down,

walk away?

Don’t feel bad. . .

M a n y d o !

Pssssssssst:

D o n ‘ t b e M A N Y !

Most don’t have the chance to drink fully from The Cup,

let alone the Saucer. . .

Most would turn down voluntarily being an

A P R I L F O O L

any day of the year,

let alone on April 1

Look again.

There’s not only a Full Cup we have

but a Saucer for the Overflow

Hmmmmmm of the Day:

Now Noticing would be one thing.

Drinking from them both. . .Quite another!

One. . .Two. . .Three:

S L U R P Deeply

You April Fool

Get Charles’d !

Two Buck Chuck

January 15, 2016 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

Well. . .

Now you know. . .

Now you know that I didn’t win the 1.6Billion-dollar PowerBall

and I’m fairly sure that no one who happens to have split those winnings three ways, is reading this either.

Now you know. . .

maybe what you know,

know that you know,

and bet your life that you know. . .

but for the life of you don’t act like you know

or. . .even recognize.

I didn’t fully

until this morning when I, like millions of others, found out that what

W I N N E R S

we really are.

I found out that the odds of winning were about 1 in 292 million, which we are told are to be worse odds of being mauled by a bear and being attacked by a shark and marrying a supermodel–

A L L C O M B I N E D.

You know what my Two-Bucks bought me?

H O P E :

If you think about it–for two-bucks it’s a great deal, no matter what the odds. I mean, come on, for just two-bucks, I bought a chance for 1.6 Billion dollars. That’s a pretty great deal, isn’t it? H O P E ! It took no skill, no special prayers, I was on equal ground with everyone else without nothing to do or with anyone to compete.

Two-bucks bought me

P E R S P E C T I V E:

The simple experience of playing and actually l o s i n g was worth it. This two-bucks lasted longer than an amusement ride or a movie or a Broadway show; this p e r s p e c t i v e lasted for days as we dreamed about how we’d help people and actually change their lives; make dreams that have never been dreamt, come true. It allowed for friendships and camaraderie and love as I joined other groups at church, at work, in the neighborhood in buying tickets together; we even commiserated about how it just wasn’t in the cards for us to win, and like everyone else who bellied up to that PowerBall Bar, took the chance, anyhow–all that for being Two-Buck-Chuck.

You know what my Two-Bucks really bought me?

I had an awesome conversation with my son last weekend, one of so many other fantastic talks; I found out at in a matter of less than a week we were going to be grandparents to one of our daughters, first daughter, another daughter’s second expected baby, and another daughter’s engagement to be married; I am going to be celebrating thirty fast years of marriage to a woman who said y e s when the whole world and mostly myself was screaming, N O; I’ve served four amazing churches in the past 36 years; companioned hundreds of terminally ill patients; supported their families; conducted hundreds of weddings and thousands of funerals; been befriended by people that can’t be created or imagined by Hollywood’s greatest writers. . .what’s the price tag on all of that? Two bucks? 1.6 Billion?

Hmmmmmmmmmm of the DAY:

A L L O F T H I S F O R

t w o b u c k s. . . .

Two-Buck-Chuck figures the odds of winning some 1.6 Billion dollars don’t stack up to the best two bucks I’ve spent countless times over–especially just right now–that’s gotten me to the point of where

I know. . .

I know that I know. . .

I bet my Life that I know. . .

what for the rest of my life I intend to act

LIKE I KNOW

(what’s really precious and priceless)

Y O U ?

It’s great being
W I N N E R S

Two-Buck-Chuck realizes t h a t

(as do I now hope you do, too)

Broke D O W N

October 12, 2015 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

When’s the last time you’ve been

B R O K E D O W N ?

No. . .

I’m not talking about the last time you blew a tire

I’m not talking about the last time your battery quit battery-ing

I’m not talking about the last time the Alternator stopped Alternating

I’m not talking about the last time when you blew a Radiator hose

I’m not talking about the last time your water pump stopped pumping

I’m not talking about when you pushed it and ran out of gas. . .

I’m asking,

When’s the last time you’ve been

B R O K E D O W N ?

. . .When you’ve read something

. . .When you’ve heard something

. . .When you’ve watched something

that actually Broke You Down ?

I’m pushing a very dangerous limit here.

According to a recent study from Microsoft Corp., we now have an attention span less than a Goldfish

(Talk about getting Broke Down)

The study reveals that we generally lose concentration after about eight seconds, which seemingly highlights the affects of an increasingly digitalized lifestyle on the brain.

So. . .maybe somewhat foolishly. . .

I’m asking you to watch a five-minute-thirteen-second video that was suppose to be a social experiment of how long it would actually take someone to stop to help a motorist who was broken down on the side of the road.

It took over two hours and then the person that actually stopped. . .

W A I T. . .

S T R E T C H

Your Attention Span by five-minutes-and-five-seconds and get

B R O K E D O W N

to become more

whole

than you could ever possibly be on a Monday Morning in any other way.

And. . .

CONGRATULATIONS FOR CONCENTRATING LONG ENOUGH

to make it through the video and this blog posting. . .

maybe the berm

has put you well onto the Road again. . . .

And if you would like to help a not-so-broken-down-ONE to become more whole you can contribute to: https://www.gofundme.com/xbmt3w

When The GIANT EAGLE Ascends

September 18, 2015 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

It was a busy Saturday morning. . .in an extremely crowded Giant Eagle Grocery Store.

It was just a quick,

GET IN, GET OUT

kind of an excursion.

(Aren’t they all?)

I went in and got a couple of gift cards and two greeting cards and then. . .

got in a long, a very long 10 items or less line.

There she was,

THE GIANT EAGLE ANGEL

She had a basket full of things. . .many different

E L E V E N T H I N G S

and then it happened. . .

She looked at what I was holding in just one hand and said,

“Sir, why don’t you go in front of me. I’m in no hurry and you just have some gift cards.”

I, protested at first and told her it wasn’t such a big deal, but she insisted and so,

NOT TO INSULT HER

I took her up on her offer and thanked her profusely.

. . .And then,
B A M

IT HAPPENED.

I told her she had done her good deed for the day and that’s when she shared with me that this had nothing to do with her good deeds so much as her

C A T H O L I C G U I L T

I joked and asked her if she was blaming The Pope on her good deed

and she joked back and told me it was more of the Nuns than The Pope.

I thanked her again for her

good deed

generosity

kindness

fear

guilt. . . .

It made me think about me

It made me think about you

It made me think about us

What ultimately makes us do what we do?

Are the reasons

P U R E

Tainted ?

Was this about some kind of weird guarantee of getting a small spot in Heaven

Not wearing Asbestos underwear for Eternity?

SHOULD’S = GUILT

OUGHT’S = FEAR

HAVE-TO’S = GUILT/FEAR

WANT-TO’S = RAINBOW’S/POT’S OF ENDLESS GOLD

Some kinds of Choices, huh?

What do you Choose. . .

What really CHOOSES YOU?

Can and Act of Kindness

just be an

A C T OF KINDNESS ?

(It Can. . .until. . .it CAN’T

Hmmmmmmmm of the Day:

Sometimes the higher The Eagle Ascends, not only the Closer to Heaven,

BUT the Bigger the Splat of the White Stuff that always finds your Windshield. . . .

IF YOU’RE HELPING SOMEONE AND EXPECT SOMETHING IN RETURN

IS IT

B U S I N E S S

K I N D N E S S

DYER’D NEED

September 9, 2015 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

People die everyday. . .

Sometimes very famous, very influential people

Two such people died on August 31:

Oliver Sacks and Dr. Wayne Dyer.

I’ve read many of Wayne’s books and actually heard him speak once. . .

His message?

Be open

Be forgiving

Be loving

Be Compassionate

“Upon waking, let the words THANK YOU flow from your lips, for this will remind you to begin your day with gratitude and compassion. make it a practice to begin each day by thinking first of someone else and then making a decision to actively do something, anything, that will bring a smile to someone’s face. When you become conscious of wanting to do something kind for another human being, you move into a higher way of being. It takes your thoughts off of yourself and WHAT’s IN IT FOR ME? and puts them on HOW MAY I SERVE? which is precisely how the universal mind we call Tao or God is always operating. When you’re aligned with a compassionate outlook, your entire day will reflect that kind of awareness.

Some suggestions for getting you started: Email a note of appreciation, say a kind word, apologize to an individual you’ve needed to make amends with, pick a few wildflowers and hand them to someone, give away some personal items such as books or jewelry, or send a smile toward someone that might brighten their moment….

–Wayne Dyer in EXCUSES BEGONE!

It’s one thing to Teach the Lesson. . .

It’s quite another to Learn it. . .

and absolutely another to simply

LIVE IT

My personal, favorite take away:

“IF YOU HAVE CHOICE BETWEEN BEING RIGHT OR KIND. . .PICK KIND”

Maybe the best way a person who has impacted us, lives on not so much by remembering their words but by actually living them to our fullest abilities. . .

M A Y B E

OR. . . .

EAGLED

September 7, 2015 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

WHO ARE YOU ?

It’s a question we get asked all of the time, isn’t it. . .

It’s a question we. . .

WE ASK OURSELVES

. . .A LOT, too, isn’t it?

Does the answer ever

C H A N G E ?

THEY

tell us that our children and most especially our grandchildren will most likely, in their lifetimes, have not just five jobs, but actually

FIVE OR MORE CAREERS !

So if we are

WHO WE ARE

as a profession or how we earn our money or

WHO OUR HEART SCREAMS WE ARE WHEN NO ONE ELSE IS LISTENING OR WATCHING ?

Hint:

You know you’ve been

E A G L E D

when you START OVER

. . .especially if it’s not been your choice to do so

We never have a purpose

We never have a reason

We never have a destiny

We never have a meaning

We, out of the very many things, the very many labels, the very many roles, the very many people we actually become and occupy, the absolute one is that we never stay

T H E S A M E

The Eagle doesn’t so much teach us how to soar. . .

so much as

HOW TO SOAR AGAIN

(and here’s the best part)

AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN

If that’s not a celebration of

Labor Day. . .

you quite possibly

have never worked

have never changed,

have never finished/begun again

have never celebrated

have never lived

(enough)

The T I M E

September 3, 2015 By ChuckBehrens 4 Comments

(This was originally posted on Friday, August 28, 2015, but because of some unexplained technical problems, it didn’t post as universal as expected; hence the reposting of this article)

THE TIME. . .

Do you have it?

Do you possess. . .o w n it?

Was there just one, specific, distinct time you actually did. . .

When T I M E

in reality. . .

S T O P P E D ?

Monday

8/10/15

3:15:54 p.m.

was my

T H A T

moment. . .

my point in time. . . .

When you find yourself on the other side of the sheets, you not only find them rougher, unsoothing, cutting, severely less than anything that could be considered comfortable. . .

THESE ARE THE KNOWNS

from THAT side of the sheets.

It’s the

U N K N O W N S

that makes the other side of the sheets so

g r a v e l l y

It had just been some 34 hours since Erin’s last of five seizures and there was a lot of disorientation, a vastness of confusion from her to me to the medical staff compassionately attempting to get an

exactness

on her condition. . .trying to isolate the

WHY, THE HOW COME, THE WHAT-FOR

of it all.

Blood tests were taken; EEG was being studied; CT Scan was being evaluated; a not-so-good-MRI without Contrast freshly finished and now, literally in the middle of a Spinal Tap,

standing behind a thin curtain where I could hear the conversations of the medical staff, Erin and my daughter Zoey who was permitted to be present for The Tap to keep her mom still. . .

I felt the light hand pressure of another one of Erin’s Doctor’s on my shoulder.

When I turned around, she motioned me to come into the hall way

and in the few steps away from the curtain, The Procedure,

it took me to follow her to the hallway

my heart was a war drum in my chest. . .

a beat I can’t remember ever duplicated

because I knew in that very moment

at that VERY TIME

my life. . .

our life. . .

was potentially about the change

for an ever.

“We weren’t able to get an MRI with Contrast because she was moving around to much for us to administer the contrast, but we got a good enough MRI to definitively rule out any tumor or mass, any Hemorrhages or Bleeds and no sign of any Stroke. We believe that it is an infection or a virus but we already were very proactive and began her on a high-powered IV Antibiotic, Acyclovir that should more than be capable of taking care of the infection. . .This is very good news, Congratulations. Hopefully, this spinal tap will reveal what we are fighting. . . .”

I looked down at my watch as she turned and walked away.

My watch was blurry. . .

salt water in the eyes, causes that. . . .

I took a picture of my running watch.

I wanted to freeze that moment. . .

isolate it. . .

set it a part. . .

always recognize it. . .

OWN IT

Monday, August 10, 2015; 3:15:54 p.m.

The other side of the sheets didn’t get any less rougher at that moment,

but they certainly got readjusted, fluffed up and fabreezed

. . .the corners still weren’t tucked in, the center all smoothed out

their appearance mocked their texture. . .still

The Watch. . .kept keeping time. . .

held it prisoner

for what any Watch, Clock or Time Piece never fully reveals. . .

The All-Powerful

N E X T

. . .because even if it’s GOOD NEWS. . .

there’s always a NEXT

. . .like when we found out that there was no mass or tumors, no hemorrhages, no stroke and with the early spinal tap results. . .

NO INFECTIONS/DISEASES. . .

N E X T !

(This is the second installment of four of THE ROUGH SIDE OF THE SHEETS; these are some of the lessons experienced, learned, and now hopefully, shared. It’s my hope that you enjoy these journey-ings, and more, take the time to share a few of yours so that we can all learn a little more about those razor blade laden sheets. . .and in the sharing, soften them a little)

Doctoring

December 19, 2014 By ChuckBehrens 6 Comments

How many Dr’s does it take to change a light bulb. . . ?

We all know a Doctor, most likely several of them.

We all have no doubt needed one, most likely more than once and for more than one thing. . . .

I had already known and worked with Dr. Jeff Spiess several years in the hospice setting when this story took place.

A Social Worker and I were meeting with a patient who had just come into the Hospice facility. We had just introduced ourselves, our roles and reasons for visiting with her and her daughter when Dr. Jeff came into the room.

He was beginning to apologize for interrupting us, when the patient said it was alright for all of us to be together with her and her daughter to talk with her.

Dr. Jeff once said that if there’s no empty seats in room, “SIT ON THE PORTABLE COMMODE, BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS CLEAN IT!”

Finding no bedside commode, he did one better: He sat on the floor in front of the patient and her daughter.

He asked her what her goals were and she went into a huge dissertation about how she was going to begin radiation therapy and then wanted to return home.

Dr. Spiess asked her a most awesome question that I had never heard another Doctor ask:

“Do I have permission to tell you some difficult news?”

She agreed.

“Well, Mrs. Johnson (I’m hip to HIPPA–not her real name), I’ve reviewed your chart and spoke with your primary physician and oncologist and not only don’t I think that the two weeks of radiation therapy will do much good, there’s a very strong chance that it will cause you even more pain and you most likely will not be able to survive it.”

Mrs. Johnson and her daughter both began to cry while the three of us provided supportive, quiet presence. It probably wasn’t any more than two minutes as we sat there with them and then the patient, in the arms of her daughter said, “THANK YOU. . .thank you for telling us the truth.”

Dr. Jeff then asked the next best question: “Knowing what you now know, what can I do for you? How can I help?”

Mrs. Johnson told us that she would like to just go home and be with her family.

Dr. Spiess told her he could make that happen and asked if she’d like to go THAT afternoon or the next morning.

Mrs. Johnson said she wanted to go that afternoon and we all confirmed that there would be medical equipment and medications to make that possible.

Dr. Jeff PERSONIFIED the Hospice philosophy at that moment.

Mrs. Johnson died ten days later.

I had the honor of conducting her Memorial Services. Her daughter spoke during the service and told
T H A T story. I’ll never forget, though it’s been several years now, what she said next:

“We came to a hospice facility searching for a cure and we found a Doctor who offered HEALING. Dr. Spiess didn’t give us years to be with our mother, but he provided precious moments we’ll have for the rest of our years!”

HOW MANY DOCTORS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

Psssssst: When it’s the RIGHT DOCTOR–ZERO–no additional Light needed.

Dr. Jeffery Spiess is retiring today from Hospice of the Western Reserve, but not from the Memories, the Hearts, the Lives of many he’s treated and touched. . .Mine included. I’m a better chaplain, husband, father, grandfather, friend and joke-teller. . . .

Somehow. . .

GOOD BYE

doesn’t seem as appropriate as

T H A N K
Y O U !

Refrained

November 28, 2014 By ChuckBehrens 2 Comments

Come, have a seat with me.

W H E W. . .

we made it.

It’s OVER

and Beginning, isn’t it?

T H A N K S G I V I N G

Sometimes the best thing that can be said of it is:

WE SURVIVED IT.

We survived food–lots of it.

We survived family–lots of them.

We survived football–lots of it.

We survived early BLACK FRIDAY stampedes–lots of them.

WE SURVIVED the THANKSGIVING-TUDE

. . .barely.

There are the 3 6 4 other days we have to contend with us being reminded
why
how
that
we are a Thankful people.

So. . .

as you put the Feast coma behind you

as you begin that not-so-long journey deeper into Happy Holiday time,

How about a little REFRAINING?

No, not that kind of refraining from Something, but the Refrain of that Song that just won’t leave your mind now that you’ve heard a huge dose of it.

A simple Refrain of:

STILL THANKFUL.

Join me:

That we’ve yet to live a day where the Sun comes up and goes down. . .

STILL THANKFUL.

For Hands to hold and be Held. . .

STILL THANKFUL.

For Prayers answered and unanswered. . .

STILL THANKFUL.

For Hearts that beat and enhances the beating of other hearts. . .

STILL THANKFUL.

For Songs not yet written, still being Sung. . .

STILL THANKFUL.

For bodies that break and heal. . .

STILL THANKFUL.

For minds that don’t know everything but capable of learning anything. . .

STILL ThANKFUL

For pockets that aren’t always full but stomachs that mostly are. . .

STILL THANKFUL.

For houses that aren’t paid for, but shelter anyway. . .

STILL THANKFUL.

For jobs that might not always be fruitful, but pay the bills. . .

For clothes not always in style, but offering cover, comfort and warmth. . .

STILL THANKFUL.

For all that is and isn’t, was and wasn’t. . .

STILL THANKFUL.

For____________________________________________________. . .

STILL THANKFUL.

I call it my THANKSGIVING CHAIR. I don’t sit in it as often as I should–especially when I need to the most: WHEN I’M LEAST THANKFUL.

But. . .more and more over these past few weeks I have made my way to THAT place a little more often.

Do you have a THANKSGIVING CHAIR?

Is there a P L A C E

–In Good and Bad–

where you just go, just go and sit…

Just sit and experience, THANK YOU?

In many different ways, in many different places, with many different people,

we celebrated Thanksgiving, YESTERDAY.

For all that now remains. . .continues. . .begins. . .may the Refrain be constant:

STILL THANKFUL

Come. . .have a seat with me.

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