The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

LADLE-LIVING

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Some would say it’s the ONLY question.       .       .

Some would say  WE  all do it, but only with a small

“S”

Some would say.           .          .

What say  Y   O   U ?

It’s never really a matter of to serve

or not to serve

as much as it is

WHO’S       SERVING       WHOM?

I use to play a game each Fall when Youth Groups would get back together again from Summer vacation. A nice, kind of lame Ice-Breaker that would allow us all to get to know each other and re-acquaint with old members graduating and new members moving up. It went something like:

Are you more of a Mountain or a Valley?

Are you more of a Lake or a Ocean?

Are you more of a Forest or a Desert?

Are you more of a Jingle or a Symphony?

Are you more of Lion or a Lamb?

Are you more of a Ladle or a Bowl?

Even now as I read those examples, like you, I’m answering them, maybe in a different way that I did well over 30 years ago.          .          .

Hey, we’re  allowed  to  C H A N G E  aren’t  we?

And  although,

CHANGE    IS    THE    ONLY    THING    THAT’S    CONSTANT

and that it’s literally inevitable

and at times very exhilarating,

it still doesn’t always have to be obeyed or observed.          .          .

Anyone who practices any degree of

Ladle-Living

knows how absolutely the Benefactor

receives so much more than the Benefactor-ee.      .      .

Being in hospice since 1994, I’ve found that,

without a doubt,

I am one of the most selfish person’s I’ve ever met,

known

or heard of.          .          .

Once you not only POSSESS the Ladle,

but actually USE it,

without thought

or account of repay,

Life becomes a series of

G     I     V     I     N     G     S.          .          .

G  I  V  I  N  G  S

that are intoxicatingly addictive.       .       .

TRANSLATION:

YOU   CANNOT   GIVE   AND   NOT,

 N   O   T,

NOT   WANT   TO   GIVE   MORE,


a g a i n      a n d      a g a i n,     a n d      a g a i n.       .       .

So. . .

Are you more of a Mountain or a Valley?

Are you more of a Lake or an Ocean?

Are you more of a Ladle or a Bowl?

Are you more SERVING or SERVED?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm,

the     answers     that     need     no     pondering     are     the     most     truthful;

especially   since   we   KNOW   before   the   Questions   are   asked !

Here’s to a little more Ladle-Living for each of us. . .

even if it means make-shifting a handle

on the not so shiny bowl

we’ve been carrying around for way too long.          .          .

well  now,

that’s  a

CHANGE   THAT   CAN   BE   CONSTANT

.          .          .e  v  e  r  y  t  i  m  e  !

and    simply    remember    the    greatest    of    truths:

IT MAKES YOU THINK

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https://youtu.be/MWBFbYZxiBw

I love the story of a man who died and went to Heaven.          .          .

When he arrives at the Pearly Gates,

Saint Peter asks him just one simple question:

“HOW  DID  YOU  ENJOY  HEAVEN?”

Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:

D   O   N  ‘  T        W   A   I   T

Not one of us can

A  D  D

another Day to our Lives.          .          .

but there’s also not a

Single ONE of US

that can’t

I       N       C       R       E       A       S       E

more LIFE to any Day

W  E      L  I  V  E.          .          .

D          O          N   ‘   T          

W          A          I          T

W H A T I F. . .

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Do you do most of your

D        R        E        A        M        I        N        G

when   you’re   A W A K E

or  A S L E E P.          .          .          ?

Back in December I had a lot of colleagues get laid off right before Christmas and though I grieved for them each for the personal loss I was feeling it was for the REAL LOSS they were Experiencing.          .          .

It made me start this very present

never-ending game called:

WHAT  IF

It goes like this and I’m going to invite you to play along

although this is a game that doesn’t get competed and go safely back into a box;

Let’s begin:

Do you have a WHAT  IF  LIST?

Actually it’s more than just a list.          .          .

it’s a couple of lists;

at least two.          .          .

Here’s the first WHAT IF LIST:

What if you lost your job RIGHT NOW:

What would you do.           .         .

LIST      YOUR      POSSIBILITIES

I’d be a Lyft driver and immediately start writing a book entitled LYFT TO LIFT chronicling  all the experiences and all of the stories that I would gather together with the folks I would take from one destination to another.      .     .

I’d start working for Starbucks

I’d start working for Amazon

I’d become a REDCOAT for Cleveland Clinic and instruct/help them where to go

I’d work exclusively for funeral homes

I’d become a full time Officiant for funerals, weddings, baptisms

I’d open up a cigar shop and call it HOLY SMOKES

I’d open a bar and call it CONFESSIONALS

I’d open a full service Spa and call it SOULED OUT

I’d open a coffee/tea shop and call it HOLY GROUNDS

I’d begin a Churchless Church that would never meet on Sunday’s and call it
NO PLACE

I’d open a hospice facility that’d never be dependent on government funding or regulations and call it BEGINNINGS

I’d open a FREE thrift store called GIFTED

I’d open a second free thrift store and call it CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY

Now what about that second what if list.          .          .

It’s a great list called:

WHAT  IF
You   won   the   500   million   dollar   lottery  list

I’d be a Lyft driver and immediately start writing a book entitled LYFT TO LIFT chronicling  all the experiences and all of the stories that I would gather together with the folks I would take from one destination to another.      .     .

I’d start working for Starbucks

I’d start working for Amazon

I’d become a REDCOAT for Cleveland Clinic and instruct/help them where to go

I’d work exclusively for funeral homes

I’d become a full time Officiant for funerals, weddings, baptisms

I’d open up a cigar shop and call it HOLY SMOKES

I’d open a bar and call it CONFESSIONALS

I’d open a full service Spa and call it SOULED OUT

I’d open a coffee/tea shop and call it HOLY GROUNDS

I’d begin a Churchless Church that would never meet on Sunday’s and call it
NO PLACE

I’d open a hospice facility that’d never be dependent on government funding or regulations and call it BEGINNINGS

I’d open a FREE thrift store called GIFTED

I’d open a second free thrift store and call it CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY

Sounds like both of my lists are the same.          .          .

Sounds like both lists talk about me being very altruistic and giving loving and
non-judgmental.          .          .

Sounds like both lists really uncovered who I truly am at heart:
S       E       L       F       I       S       H

YEAH. It might sound like I’m altruistic;

it may sound like I’m a really giving person but here’s the truth:

I      AM      SEVERELY      SELFISH

A   HARSHER  TRUTH:

I’m  STRIVING  to  become  even  more  S E L F I S H

I am the way that I am even though it appears so good, so true, so compassionate, so empathetic, so giving.            .            . when really I’m the most selfish person
I   have   ever   met.             .            .
It truly makes me feel good to be the way that I am and I agonize that I’m not  even  more   like   that.          .          .

I think I’ve uncovered the secret of life.          .          .
it’s not the fountain of youth;
it’s not quick get rich scheme;
But it is so highly effective
and I believe even more severely contagious;
I would hope that it not only characterizes me as a
Caring Catalyst
but also Caring Person.         .       .

The Secret:

GIVE      WHAT      YOU      WANT      TO      RECEIVE


No abracadabra stuff.         .        .
No magic.        .        .
Secret formula or potions.        .        .
No A-B-C-D  and then you will get X-Y-Z.         .        .

W H A T-IF-ING

is a great game.           .          .
It’s a fun game.          .          .
It’s a really cost-you-nothing-bet-your-life-changing-game

that, if involving others,

will long outlast a pulse beaten,
a breath taken
a heart pumping;

And it’ll absolutely teach

THE  LESSON:

COMPASSION      COMES      WITH      DIRT-CRUSTED      HANDS
that never come clean

Go ahead.          .          .

Bring FLAME  to  WICK

E           X           P           E           R           I           E           N           C           E

the pure answer of

WHY    LIGHT    A    CANDLE    WHEN    YOU    CAN    IGNITE    WICKS

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.          .          .
W     H     A     T         I     F

HARDWIRING HAPPINESS

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It’s always one of the most important questions.          .        .

but not as important as

T H E    A N S W E R:

A   R   E        Y   O   U       H   A   P   P   Y

Seriously.          .         .

ARE  YOU MORE

 Eeyore or Pooh.       .       .

 Rocky or Mr T

 Beauty or The Beast

Cop or Robber

Sweet or Sour

Hot or Mild

Mountain or Valley

It seems, doesn’t it

that at times we have a fantastic pull

to ignore the good in life

and focus instead on the bad.          .          .

E  N  T  E  R       R  I  C  K       H A N S O N

He’s a psychologist who wrote a book a few years ago:

HARDWIRING  HAPPINESS

His   main   thesis   is   this:

Humans’ hardwired tendency is to go negative.  It’s whats allowed our ancestors to survive.  And for depression-prone folks, this proclivity to see the glass half empty is even worse.  To mitigate that negativity  bias, we need to “RE-WIRE” our brains for resilience and happiness.  You do this by taking a few seconds throughout the day to think about and really soak in the good stuff you have going in your life.  It’s basically a form of cognitive behavioral therapy, but it’s incredibly easy to do and the results are powerful.     .     .     .

It’s tough being a Caring Catalyst 

but it’s not always the achieving or the maintaining of being

a Caring Catalyst 

that’s  so  important

so much as the attempt

so much as the intention

so much as the overall consistency

that’s significant.          .           .

So even when you’re feeling more like Eeyore

P   O   O   H        U   P

and realize that even on Cloudy

OVER CAST DAYS

the Sun still shines

.          .          .especially if you let it shine through you;

THINK   ON   THAT

DOING WHAT YOU LOVE

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R  U  T      R  H  O

 Do What You Love?

Or, Love What You Do?

David Sturt and Todd Nordstrom , CONTRIBUTOR Opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their own, reported back on March 13, 2015 some pretty eye-opening stuff all of us who hold burning candles at both ends and in the middle 
NEED   TO   TAKE   NOTICE

Since some of the earliest writings from the world’s most prolific thought leaders the notion of doing what you love (seeking a career that fills you with passion) has been discussed at length. But with current research showing how many people are disengaged, dissatisfied, and frustrated at work, we wondered is it possible to flip the words—is it possible to simply love what you do—your current job?

Q        U        I        C        K:

ARE   YOU   LOVING   WHAT   YOU   ARE   DOING 

RIGHT  HERE

RIGHT  NOW

ON  APRIL 11, 2018.          .          .?

Finding a job you love is age-old advice. Confucius probably has the best longstanding quote about “do what you love.” His words, “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life,” have been repeated throughout history. Or consider Warren Buffett’s words, “Take a job that you love.” And let’s not forget the prolific thoughts of Maya Angelou who said “…pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.”

Does anyone advocate the opposite approach—telling people to love what they do? We did not have to look far to find the advice of Steve Jobs who said, “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.”

Image courtesy of shutterstock.com

Image courtesy of shutterstock.com

 Curious about our own experiences in the workplace, we began reviewing previous job titles we have had over the years. Between the two of us, we’ve held titles like: fire inspector, market research manager, disk jockey, product development director, wind surfing instructor, creative director, and the list goes on. As we discussed our roles, we couldn’t help but talk about the positions we loved, and those we knew weren’t the perfect fit. And apart from one position (we won’t admit who it was) of company mascot, which consisted of wearing a fuzzy cow suit and dancing down parade routes in the middle of summer, we loved each of the jobs we had (the cow suit was extremely hot, it was ridiculous, but pardon the pun, ‘Holy cow it was fun’).

Are we typical of most workers? Science actually gives us some insight.

The “find a job you love” advice listed above is easy to buy into for those who love their jobs. But for those who still don’t love their work, should they quit their current job and chase the dream of the job they would love? Or can people learn to find meaning and success in their current job? The answer is ‘yes.’ And here’s why.

Kind of makes
Burning the Candle at both ends and in the middle
take another a whole different perspective
ESPECIALLY  WHEN  YOU  KNOW
THE   SOURCE

SNOWING when it DOESN’T

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While others were complaining

about it

S              N              O              W              I              N              G

again

and yes,

I absolutely was tempted.        .        .

I caught myself

and literally stopped in my tracks for

just a couple of minutes

T O     R E C O G N I Z E   W H A T     I     N O T I C E D.         .        .

Amazingly

when I just did that for two minutes

and a mere seven seconds

The other side of the coin flipped for me

and instantly

instead of literally joining the Masses

and severely

C      O      M      P      L      A      I      N      I      N      G

about it being APRIL 8

and it was snowing

A          G          A          I          N.          .          .

i  instead heard the most amazing

symphony being composed and performed at the same time

by an orchestra and chorus of birds

who were in the snow like me

and singing back in defiance

WHO CARES, WHO CARES, WHO CARES, WHO CARES, WHO CARES, 

and I stopped  myself  and  S   A   N   G

back this amazing refrain from an inner voice

I didn’t recognize:

I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, 

and I did

.            .          .I finally recognized what I noticed

that  m o m e n t s

even those sprinkled with snow flakes

on a April 8th Sunday Morning

on the edge of an empty Church Parking lot

where bare brush and trees only purpose

were to collect rare Spring snowflakes

are  L I F E T I M E S

that never perish

and nor do the ones

who take the time

to recognize

what they notice.          .          .

I won the coin flip

to one of the biggest events

in my life

(this time)

but it was all I had

and all I wanted

in just two-minutes and seven seconds.          .          .          .

S A U N T E R I N G

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Have you done it lately.        .       .

S          A          U          N          T          E          R          E          D

I  just  complete a few days of doing that along the Florida coastline

from Clearwater to Tarpon Springs

I   S A U N T E R E D.          .          .

My knees no longer let me run

My knees no longer let me walk great distances

Q      U      I      C      K      L      Y

So  now  I

s       a       u       n       t       e       r

and I’ve got to tell you

Seaside Sauntering is my absolute favorite

Henry David Thoreau, in an essay on walking,

explained the origin of the word

s     a     u     n     t     e     r

He says the term comes from the Middle Ages

when wandering pilgrims would beg for alms

to finance their journey to

“la   saint   terre”

“T H E       H O L Y       L A N D”

I can’t overwhelming vouch for the origin of the word

but I’m more and more understanding Thoreau’s  theory is in doubt,

but I do like his explanation better than any I’ve heard

because more and more

I’m becoming a

S        A        U        N        T        E        R        E        R

a      true      W a n d e r i n g      W O N D E R E R

who needs to wander

and wonder

a little bit more than what I have.          .        .

Let’s hear it for true sauntering.          .          .

My dictionary tells me the word

“as  to  wander  or  walk  about  idly  and  in  the  leisurely  or  lazy  manner;  to lounge; to  stroll; to  loiter”

W     H     O     A

I’m  not  so  sure  that’s  100%  me  yet

or  if  I  would  like  it  to  be  bigger  percentage  of  me.        .        .

 a loiterer

in no particular hurry

taking time to see the world around me

sampling it along the way.          .          .

Not a whole lot of people saunter about these days.          .          .

Everyone seems to be in a hurry

to get to somewhere

and do something

running off to this meeting

or taking care of that obligation

signing up for one course

or another continuing education opportunity

frantically working out our own ways

that often lead down not-so-getting-to-where-you-need-to-be-destinations

I found out in a magical kind of way

these past couple of days

S A U N T E R I N G        I S       A N       A   R   T

No one taught me better than that than

G E O R G E

who would SAUNTER

up to our Breakfast table and

not-so-sneakily-ate-off-my-plate

scraps I wasn’t scrappy enough to gobble up first

Our waitress, Susan told us that George

had been a regular the past 10 or so years

and was a not only a Eater’s Favorite

but  a  great  Professor  of

S           A           U           N           T           E           R           I            N           G

with the truest of lessons:

THE COURSE:

SAUNTERING  LEADS  TO  DEEPER  CARING AND  COMPASSION 101

and just when you might be thinking that this course might be for the birds;

S A U N T E R

on and

S A U N T E R I N G L Y    WONDER  

a g a i n

t  o      g  l  o  r  y

In the meantime,

I’ll  have  to  look  into  the  legal  ramifications  of  my

l o i t e r i n g

charges.          .          .

 

THE FALL I N

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It was in front of me

after traveling some 203 miles

and close to 3 hours of driving

just 3 miles from my house

at a red light—

I look up and

this license plate is right in front of me.          .          .

mind you,

if I wouldn’t have stopped to go to the bathroom

or even started off by going through that drive through

S T A R B U C K S

or taken anyone of three or four different routes home,

I would have never been at that light

at that moment

at that spot

a  t

T          H          E          R          E

but with long disbelieving in mere meaningless

coincidences

the license plate of

was smack dab in front of me

and the light was long enough for me to

get out the iPhone and snap

the shot.          .          .

SO  WHAT.     .     .     ?

BIG  DEAL.     .     .     ?

right,

well it kind of is.          .          .

Ever since I’ve been taking this Caring Catalyst thing seriously

and making it more of a VERB

than a mere noun

a more intent

P     E     R     S     O     N     I     F     I     C     A     T     I     O     N

than a simple

I D E A

stranger than strange things have been happening;

the RIPPLE

is literally

TSUNAMI – like

and uncharitable;

out  of  control.          .          .

It’s been more of a

FALLING IN

and so much less of any

FALLING  OUT

than I’ve ever had.           .          .

When I started

JUST BECAUSE’ING

in July

(i.e doing anonymous kind acts for unsuspecting, at times unknown people)

The Caring Catalyst in me

has been transformed so drastically

no mirror or photo lens could ever capture or reflect

and no blog post can aptly narrate.        .         .

it’s like a flame has been not been ignited but severely accelerated.          .          .

and this FALLING IN

has a FALL OUT

that is unmapped

and GPS-less.          .          .

it’s almost as if I don’t look for opportunities to

JUST      BECAUSE

someone.          .            .

they are seeking.     .    .

laser-direct zeroing in on me

and I’ve discovered once again

what has only in the past

been very fleeting

and mostly embarrassingly

been attempted to hide in the darkest of shadows:

I     AM    S  E  V  E  R  E  L  Y    SELFISH

JUST  BECAUSE’ING

is so intoxicating and addictive

I can’t wait for the next opportunity

because not only have I never given like this before

I have absolutely never

r         e         c         i         e         v         e         d

like this before

e                     v                    e                    r .            .            .

Gift Cards

A free Cruise

Dinners

Winning Lottery Scratch off Ticket

Refunds

Cavs Loge Tickets

and a host of everyday LITTLE THINGS

that have added up to huge benefits.          .          .

S T R A N G E :

Erin told me she talked with a person at our local CVS

on Wednesday who was a severely obvious

JUST  BECAUSE  CANDIDATE

.          .          .she had recently been sick and not being able to work for several weeks

and was worried about how

‘everything was going to work out’

she wasn’t asking so much for money or assistance

so much as baring her soul to another undressed soul who was willing to

ACTIVELY   LISTEN

and  not  just  h e a r.          .          .

I had just hung up the phone with Erin telling me this story

and my phone vibrated with this message:

Who needs a megaphone

with such a resounding message.          .          .

WHO.     .     .

who will benefit more.          .          .

the   giver

o   r

the just because’er.          .         .

Everyone wants to know

WHAT’S     THE     KEY

It’s   really   this   simple:

W h o   c a r e s   i f   t h e   K E Y   i s   i n   t h e   l o c k

i f   i t’  s   n e v e r

T          U          R          N          E          D

.          .          .Most spend their lifetimes

with key in hand

AND      IT      JUST      STAYS      THERE

GET      SELFISH

GET-FILTHY-LOW-DOWN-SKY-HIGH

S  E  L  F  I  S  H

UNCOVER THE MAGIC OF

 JUST BECAUSE’ING

FALL IN

FALL WAY DEEP DOWN IN

PROVE

YOUR

ABRACADABRA-NESS

Practice more than regularly

P R E E M P T I V E       C O M P A S S I O N

G            I            V            E

Before it’s Needed

Before it’s Necessary

Before it’s EXPECTED 

.          .          .Be   T H A T    SomeOne Who comes along;

Provide your own Personal

T  R  I  P  L  E      ‘A’      S  E  R  V  I  C  E

A V A I L A B L E

  A C C E S S I B L E

       A C C O U N T A B L E

M E M E N T O S

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https://youtu.be/gsVt6-PgdNc

Your Best

M      E      M      E      N      T      O.          .          .   :

Food

Clothes

Hats

Cars

Motorcycles

Bikes

Houses

Vacations

Smart Phones

Smarter TV’s

Socks

Shoes

Coats

Watches

Furniture

Beds

Blankets

Sheets

Pillows

Restaurants

Jobs

r        e        l        a        t        i        o        n          s         h        i        p        s

 

 

E M P T Y

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images

Have you ever run on Empty?

How far have you been willing to push it?

Have you ever run just past Empty?

Had you walking, didn’t it.       .       .   ?

.            .            .or at least furiously texting or calling to get

r         e         s        c         u        e        d

unless that tank isn’t a gas tank.         .         .

Is   Your

E    m    p    a    t    h    y           T    a    n    k

running   low?

There’s research out of the University of Michigan led by Sara H. Konrath and Published in Personality and Social Psychology Review, 

which  contends that  our  empathy has declined  significantly  over  the  past  thirty plus  years.       .       .

S          H          O          C          K          I           N          G  ?

Since the creation of the Interpersonal Reactivity Index in 1979, tens of thousands of students have filled out this questionnaire while participating in studies examining everything from neural responses to others’ pain to levels of social conservatism.  Ms. Konrath and her colleagues took advantage of his wealth of data by collating self-reported empathy scores of nearly 14,000 students.  She then used a technique known as cross-temporal meta-analysis to measure whether scores have changed over the years.  The results were startling:

ALMOST 75% of students today

rate  themselves  as  less  empathic  than  the  average  student  30  years  ago!

W            O            W

You  want  to  hear  the  good  news?

The shared belief is that

IF      EMPATHY      CAN      CHANGE.       .        .

IF      IT      CAN      DECLINE.       .       .

IT     CAN

I              N              C               R              E              A              S              E   !

Have you ever run on empty?

Have you ever run past empty?

How far have you ever been willing to push it?

What’s sapped your empathy the most?

What’s dried up your empathy the fastest?

What’s fueled your empathy?

What fills up your empathy tank the fastest?

When’s the last time you felt it for another?

What were the circumstances?

The quickest way to RE – FILL?

The studies say:

READ  Fiction

WATCH  a  Movie

TOUCH  a  Hand

LET  A  HAND  TOUCH  YOURS.       .       .

Fill’er UP

(o f t e n)

BEFORE      YOU      GO      RUNNING

E                 M                 P                 T                 Y

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man