The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

MAGIC SHIRTS

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I’ve   been   a

f          a          t          h          e          r

for some thirty-seven years

a    n   d

my kids have made me a lot of things

over those years

but aside from making me their

 d          a           d

they   really   made   me   a   great

s        t        o        r        y  –  t        e        l        l        e        r

They would be

stories of encouragement

stories of hope

stories of motivation

stories of life

stories of living

but most of all

stories of the

u  n  c  o  n  d  i  t  i  o  n  a  l      l o v e

I’ve always had for them

and hopefully never made them

d       o       u       b       t

THIS     IS    US

is a new NBC tv Series

that began this year

and it not only talks about

conventional life

but conventional

family life.     .     .

I hate

to this day

when any of my kids

or grandchildren

h          u          r          t

and would do anything

to make it evaporate

or

TELL     IT    AWAY

Like this scene

or more

just  by

s     h     o      w      i     n     g          u     p.        .        .

s              h              a              r              i              n              g   

t h e     h  u r t.      .       .

until the tears dried

or were replaced by even a

h a l f – s m i l e.     .     .

I could do that

with trips to the Mall

A movie with

the extra-big bucket of buttered popcorn

and their own Big Pop

A bag full of penny-candy

A play-ground run

A day at an amusement park

one-on-one dates to Bob Evans

or Caribou Coffee

or a well-timed  s t o r y:

M       A       G       I       C       A       L

So

what’s

your

go  to

s       t       o       r       y  ?

A ROCK Starts a WAVE

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He’ll never be in the

HALL     OF     FAME

but

Rocky Bleier

who played for the Pittsburgh Steelers

when they won their first four

Super  Bowls

knows how to make

W             A             V             E             S

that never end.      .       .

After playing football at Notre Dame

Rocky served his country

by serving in the Vietnam War

and was nearly mortally wounded

when he stepped on a landmine

that nearly crippled him for life.     .     .

but this Rock didn’t disintegrate

he learned to

crawl

hobble

walk

r          u          n

but his greatest

r            a            c            e

came after the

cleats here hung up

the crowds ceased to cheer for him

the football was no longer carried.           .           .

his truest life work

began;

his ripple

started;

his     w     a      v     e

commenced;

   h i s        T             S             U             N             A             M             I

never e n d i n g.     .     .

his tragic wounds

his determination

his story

has   become   motivational

for many.       .       .

most very recently

a friend of a friend;

When Rocky was made aware

that a horrible car accident made an innocent man

a quadriplegic.     .     .

a former quarterback from Marshall University

who is now trying to make the best of it

going through his

“t   w   o  –  d  a  y  s”

of therapy

has a very good friend

who contacted

Rocky Bleier’s personal assistant

and  Rocky

r     i     p     p     l     e     d

This ROCK

caused a  WAVE:

img_2459

(Sorry to hear about the accident.  Things happen that we cannot control–what is important is knowing what we can control–Attitude is one of those things.  It’s a long road–you know that–so never give up—-With the support system you have–all things are possible—Rocky Belier)

I  know.      .      .

I  know.      .      .

that’s what

sports stars

celebrities

well knowns can do.       .       .

they can cause ripples

that become waves.       .       .

but so can

C      A      R      I      N      G              C      A      T      A      L      Y      S      T      S

We   don’t   have   to   be   a

w       a       v       e.      .      .

we just have to be in the many

m                      a                      n                      y

d   r   o   p   l   e   t   s

that makes up

The     W A V E;

When our love

our compassion

our kindness

our empathy

our sympathy

our very selves

become more

V       E       R       B       S

than

n o u n s

we add strength to

The  W A V E

not just to dive into

but actually become a part of—

to be endlessly

dripping wet

never-to-ever-be-dry-again-from.     .     .

it’s a rolling

unstoppable

completely wonderful

ongoing

W          A          V           E.          .           .

L     i     v     e     d

and now shared

for an ever

that is forever

n            o            w

B   E

T     H     A     T

C      E      A      S      E

R        I        P        P        L        E

THAT   CONTRIBUTES

TO   THAT   ENDLESS

W                    A                    V                    E

We   are   all   a

R     O     C     K

in our own ways

and the next big

T    S    U    N    A    M   I

awaits

Y   O   U   R

R i p p l e

Y   O   U   R

w        a        v        e

.          .          .y     o     u

Your Cellular Level

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unknown

What’s Greater.        .        .        ?

An  Academy Award.      .       .

An Olympic Medal.        .       .

A Nobel Prize.            .           .

A  Single  Cell  of  Compassion.             .               .              ?

Japan-born scientist, Yoshinori  Ohsumi

has recently been named as one of the newest

Nobel Prize Winners.     .     .

Ohsumi illuminated a cellular process called,

A  U  T  O  P  H  A  G  Y

or

S E L F – E A T I N G

in which cells

take unneeded or damaging material

including entire

o r a n g e l l e s

and transport them to a

recycling compartment

of sorts–

in yeast cells,

this compartment is called

the  lisosome,

while  vacuoles 

serve a similar purpose in

h u m a n    c e l l s.     .     .

and   this   means   what   to   us.       .       .        ?

Ohsumi figured out a way to observe the inner workings of yeast cells and reveal autophagy inside of them.  He went even further to identify the genes involved in yeast autophagy and to show that similar self-eating mechanisms occur inside human cells.  His discoveries in the 1990’s led to a new understanding of how the cell recycles its contents, opening up a window into the importance of autophagy to several physiological processes and even to understanding certain diseases.  Mutations in autophagy have been linked to diseases such as cancer and neurological disorders like Parkinson’s disease.        .        .        .

and     this     means     what     to     us.       .       .       ?

On a cellular level.     .     .

at    o u r   core

both animals and human beings

have what Dacher Keltner

at the University of California, Berkley,

coins a

compassionate  instinct.        .        .

we are wired for kindness and compassion.       .       .

Compassion is a

natural  and   a u t o m a t i c 

response

that   has   ensured   our   survival.       .       .

Mr Darwin’s message

was not the

survival  of  the  fittest

but rather

s  u  r  v  i  v  a  l        o  f        t  h  e        k  i  n  d  e  s  t

because we need

each   other’s   support

and  care  to  survive  as  a  species.        .        .

Being   a   Caring  Catalyst

is  who  we  can’t  help

but  to  be

but we can

h e l p

it   more.       .       .

and   t h a t

goes way.       .       .w   a   y

deeper   than  a

c e l l u l a r     l  e  v  e  l.        .         .

What’s  Greater.     .     .     ?

An Academy Award.     .     .

An Olympic Medal.     .     .

A Nobel Prize.         .         .

A  Single-Cell of Compassion.     .     .

or    y   o   u   r  

 Single-Cell of contagious Kindness.     .     .

B       E       T             Y       O        U       R              L     I     F     E  

on

I    T

Lost and FOUND

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I’ve only heard of it happening.     .     .

Has it ever happened to you.    .     .     ?

Losing your Parking Garage Ticket

I had it in my pocket,

I thought for all day

and I thought wrong.      .      .

When I got to the attendant

I already knew that I would have to be

T H E       A L L       D A Y       F E E

Uhhhhhh.     .     .I was wrong about that, too.       .       .

The sign read in

extremely bold numerals

$ 6  0 . 0  0  FOR  THE  LOSS  OF  TICKET

I pled my case to the young girl parking attendant.    .    .

A c t u a l l y.       .       .

I thought my argument was very convincing,

telling her that I had just finished presenting

at a Conference at the Hyatt Regency.     .     .

for good measure,

I even showed her my fancy, super-shiny

name tag that boldly showed my name

and the even more prominent

S            P            E            A            K            E            R

label under my name.   .   .

She asked me what time I arrived

and when I told her

she got on her walkie-talkie to

T  H  E       M  A  N  A   G   E   R

told him, quite eloquently my plight and without hesitation he responded:

“Uhhhhh, yeah, he’s going to have to pay the Sixty-dollar fee without a ticket.   .   .I’d have him go back in and hunt for it again.”

She looked at me and shrugged her shoulders,

moved the cars behind me out of the way to another line

(They really thought that was a great idea)

and I went back in to the Hotel/Conference Center

to search every place I had been that day.   .   .

including the Starbucks literally right outside of the door of the room I conducted my presentation

.       .       .n  o      l  u   c   k

.       .       .back to my car, up the ramp to the attendant.     .     .

“Ma’am, I’m sorry.  .  .I looked everywhere and I can’t find it.     .     .It’s not your fault, it’s mine, and I’ll have to pay the fine.”

And I was reaching for my credit card and extending it towards her

I   T      H  A  P  P  E  N  E  D

Her hand went over top of mine as I extended the card to her and she held it.    .    .

she held my hand until I looked up

I saw her eyes–wet–

“Sir, I am so sorry,  I hate this.  I know you are a good man.  I know you’re not lying.  I know you didn’t lose this ticket on purpose and I really like your tie.”

T H E R E      I T      W A S :

WHAT     I     LOST

wasn’t  as valuable as

WHAT     I     FOUND:

Pure

unadulterated 

sincere

Compassion

We do, don’t we.     .     .     ?

We so very often fail to

Notice what we Recognize.     .     .

Uhhhhhhh,  NO!

Not today

Not now

Not this Blog-post

Recognize–won’t you.     .     .

Notice–will you.          .          .

When you have  L O S T

You’ve   F O U N D

Found  what?

S o m e t h i n g

.        .        .something sometimes more awesome than what we’ve lost.     .     .

but we won’t stop

focusing

recognizing

noticing

on what we’ve lost

so much that it’s literally impossible to

focus

recognize

notice

what’s   f o u n d

So can you.     .     .     ?

Can you

recognize or notice

what was found after what was lost.     .     .     ?

A new relationship

A new job

A new challenge

A new goal

A new fortune

A new journey

A new beginning

A new door

A  Newness  you’ve never

envisioned

known

experienced

s  h  a  r  e  d ?

The next time you go to the

L   O   S   T        A  N  D       F  O  U  N  D

don’t look for what’s been

L          O          S          T

search

for  what’s  to  be  found

and don’t fail

to notice or recognize it.       .       .

or    share    it

Best In Show(ing UP)

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FullSizeRender

This past Wednesday afternoon

there was a small gathering of staff in the Atrium

at David Simpson House House on

East 185th Street

to celebrate a very important

Member of the Hospice Staff

Tallulah

She’s been a therapy dog at The House for the past seven years

and it would be impossible to try to calculate

just how many lives—

patients.    .    .

families.    .    .

staff.       .        .

Tallulah has not just touched

but inspired—

patients.     .     .

families.     .     .

staff.       .        .

to also reach out and

T       O       U       C       H

We all gathered together

and surrounded her in a-not-so-perfect

c            i            r           c           l          e

and while Tallulah was in the center

chewing on a treat

Dr. Kevin Dieter

led us in a unison reading,

TO   LEARN FROM ANIMAL BEING:

Nearer to the earth’s heart, Deeper within its silence; Animals know this world in a way we never will.

We who are ever Distanced and distracted by the parade of bright windows thought opens; their seamless presence is not fractured thus.

Stranded between time gone and time emerging, we managed seldom to be where we are: Whereas they are always looking out from the here and now.

May we learn to return and rest in the beauty of animal being, Learn to lean low, leave our locked minds, and with freed senses feel the earth breathing with us.

May we enter into lightness of spirit, and slip frequently into the feel of the wild.

Let the clear silence of our animal being; cleanse our hearts of corrosive words.

May we learn to walk upon the earth with all their confidence and clear-eyed stillness so that our minds might be baptized in the name of the wind and the light and the rain.      

One   by   One

 each of us

by instinct

rather  than  instruction

left the circle and went into the middle

and gave her our own

little blessing that only

a heart can shout

and a mouth can’t begin to whisper

.          .          .I stood there and noticed

that eyes were weeping

what tissues can’t ever quite absorb

and chose not to think it was some kind of a

meaningful, sincere

G    O   O   D       B   Y   E

as a much more

intentional

devout

T H A N K    Y O U

Tallulah

was making her last visit to the House

but not giving us her

Final Lesson.       .       .

Her Last Lecture

if we are Student enough to

l e a r n:

J      u      s      t

S H O W I N G    U P 

B   E   I   N   G      P   R   E   S   E   N   T

brings a

h   e   a   l   i  n  g

not found in an

intervention

therapy

prescription

plan of care

I V

syringe

pill

capsule

s a l v e.       .       .

And like her.     .     .

makes us the

BEST    IN    SHOW

Willie Morris wrote a book called

MY  DOG  SKIP

The Family Movie came out in 2000

As I was standing in that most sacred-imperfect Circle

the ending scene came to mind:

https://youtu.be/nLKMroK2bA0

Good Bye?

THANK  YOU?

For now

and

for an ever

May the Peace that

Tallulah

has brought to many

now be that

Profound Peace

she’ll  enjoy

f o r e v e r m o r e

as she crosses over

The Rainbow Bridge

but never out of our hearts.

Your Olympic Moment

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Abbey D’Agostino and Nikki Hamblin gave us quite the Olympic Moment

Your Olympic Moment.      .      .

has it happened already

or just merely

inspired?

It takes a long time to get from one Olympic to another.     .     .

for most, it’ll never be a reality;

The next one will be

F O U R     Y E A R S

from now in

Tokyo

but some Olympics moment are never ending.      .      .

so are some of our day to day moments;

We are all running a most difficult

R       A       C       E

One that seems to go

on and on and on and on and on and on

with no seeming

F  I  N  I  S  H       L   I   N   E

in sight

and then you see.     .      .

you   e x p e r i e n c e

something much greater

than some ending point.     .     .

you  feel  the  greatness  that  can  only  come  from  within

but  always

e      m     a      n     a      t      e     s

o u t w a r d

u   p   w   a   r   d.     .      .

We stumble

We fall

We trip up

We get hurt

We get disappointed

We feel discouraged

d     e     f     e     a     t     e     d

and just when the race

feels hopelessly lost

another event starts

that knows

N  O

L     O     S     E     R     S

e     v     e     r.      .      .

In our long journey to the

Finish  Line

with the unceasingly

ever-running

have-got-to-beat

c       l       o       c       k

there’s  a  speckle  of

t  r  u  t  h

that makes the

D  E  F  E  A  T  E  D

U  N  D  E  F  E  A  T  A  B  L  E :

WHEN    YOU    HAVE    A    CHANCE    TO    BE 

RIGHT   OR   KIND

B  E       K  I  N  D

and  watch  the

Finish  Line

not only vanish.      .      .

but become something so very, very much more!

https://youtu.be/z5-fQ2Qda5U

The ROUGH Side of the Sheets

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IMG_2008

There’s a few guarantees in life that are not all that

P     L     E     A     S     A     N      T

Here’s one:

The Other Side of the Sheets are Always

R o u g h e r

 S c r a t c h i e r

More   A  b  r  a  s  i  v  e.      .      .

N  O  T      C  O  M  F  O  R  T  A  B  L  E

In  3 7 5  days

a lot can happen;

much can happen in

3 7 5  s e c o n d s

or blinks of an eye.     .     .

3   7  5

days ago my wife Erin had

Five back to back to back to back to back

s e i z u r e s;

after five  days of testing,

some of it, very painful

we were sent home

with a not so firm diagnosis of

viral meningitis.  .   .

but after a year of recovering

r  e  c  o  u  p  i  n  g

and still having on/off

f o c a l   s e i z u r e s

we spent another short week at

The Epilepsy Lab

at the Cleveland Clinic

and now have a firm diagnosis of

Left Temporal Epilepsy;

most likely managed with

the      right     medications

which may take some tinkerings

that finds us on the

r  o  u  g  h

s c r a t c h y

a b r a s i v e

n o t    c o m f o r t a b l e

O T H E R     S I D E     O F     T H E     S H E E T S

There have been plenty of studies done about

how miserable

The Other Side of the Sheets

can actually be

for those who spend most of their time on

the more comfortable

more familiar

less irritating

BEST    SIDE    OF    THE    SHEETS

of  Caregiving:

W E     D O N ‘ T     L I K E     I T !

There’s a Universe of Difference between

C   A   R   E   G   I   V   I   N   G

and

C   A   R   E   G   E   T   T   I   N   G,

But   T H E     L E S S O N

is invaluable for either side of the Sheets:

YOUR   SUFFERING

is

MY     SUFFERING

and

MY     SUFFERING

is

YOUR     SUFFERING

and no matter how rumpled the sheets

either side.     .     .

we can all do our part

to make sure they are a lot

 s    m    o    o    t    h    e    r.        .        .

adding a little compassionate care

is the softener

necessary to make

both sides of the sheets

h       e       a       l     i       n       g;

.        .        .now  pass  me  the  pillow  case,

p l e a s e,

I T      C A N      A L W A Y S      A      L I T T L E      M O R E      C O M F Y

R E M E M B E R i n g

By Leave a Comment

IMG_1848

To the Living

I am Gone

To the Sorrowful

I’ll never return

To the Angry

I was cheated

To the Faithful

I’ve never left

I can’t be seen

but I can still hear

I can’t speak

but I can still listen

so the next time you stand on a shore gazing at a beautiful sea

or look upon flowers to admire their simplicity

R E M E M B E R     M E

in your heart

of the times we fought

the times we cried

the times we laughed

the times we loved

Because if you always think of me

I  WILL  HAVE  NEVER  GONE

When do words become more than words?

.      .      .when they become

a       c       t       i       o       n     s

DAVE & BUSTERS

in Westlake, Ohio

did just that

a couple of weeks ago.

Two of their employees have recently died.

T H E Y

sent condolences.

T H E Y

sent flowers.

T H E Y

bought two benches

with the individuals names and very special sentiments on them

and put them in a very nice garden area right in front of their entrance

T H E Y

invited the members of their families

and their employees to come to

A Celebration Service

in their honors

before work

to  REMEMBER

“Anytime we come together to remember, it’s never long enough. . . “

I began

“It could be around a holiday table

It could be outback at a family reunion

It could be on a sunny morning before work, like this

but anytime we come together to remember–

it’s never long enough.   .   .    .”

“.     .     .but you haven’t come here to remember, have you?  

You’ve come here to be powerfully reminded that you haven’t come here to begin

only continue the celebrations of these two lives

in your lives

for the rest of your lives.  .  .  .”

and then I asked one of the most powerful

ever hard to answer question

that could ever be asked at

any Celebration service:

“WHAT’S   YOUR  FAVORITE  STORY?”

And then the stories of these two lives,

i n t e r m i n g l i n g l y

and were told

RE-MEMBERED

Put back together again

one after another

intermixed with tears

and laughter

and smiles

I reminded them:

“IT’S    NOT   ONE   THING”

.     .     .that the cliche

A  PICTURE  IS  WORTH  A  THOUSAND  WORDS

is   a    l i e

a million, maybe, but not a mere 1000.

I reminded them:

“BUT   YOU   DON’T   NEED   A   PHOTOGRAPH,   DO   YOU ?

I just need to say their names.    .    .

and it’s not a moment

it’s not a memory

it’s not an event

or an occasion

it’s a cascade of all of those things

water falling down over them

shouting for their attention.

DAVE & BUSTER’S

made sure

to show these families and friends

that the only thing more powerful than memories

is the love that makes them

everything they were

everything they are

everything they will forever be

by bringing people together

and making ongoing

new  memories

in the names

of those

we came

to celebrate.  .   .

and what better way to do that?

What Else?

A  BRUNCH!

DAVE & BUSTER’S

are Caring Catalyst’s

Who Cares

What Matters

by showing as long as we think of

T   H  E  M

T   H  E  Y

are never gone

The E Word

By 2 Comments

images

Do you pass the

E

T       E       S       T

Are   Y O U :

Finding Public Places Stressful

Needing Alone Time

Discovering Clutter as Catastrophic

Labeled as Moody

Enjoying Daydreaming

A Knowledge Seeker

A Free Spirit

Seeing that Rules and Routine are Torturous 

Easily Bored and Distracted

A Creative Force

Battling Fatigue

Being a Human Lie Detector

Having an Addictive Personality

Well did you pass the

E

T        E        S        T  ?

Do you have one or more of these

t          r          a          i          t          s  ?

You know what it means?

You could be a very

dangerous

hopeless

impossibly irreconcilable

true-blooded

E       M       P       A       T       H       E       T       I       C

p e r s o n

It’s more than just a word,

isn’t  it:

E          M          P          A          T          H          Y

The word is everywhere these days, isn’t it

but not as

the   v e r b

we all desperately need.

To be empathetic

is the ability to put yourself into another’s shoes

with the simple goal to just

understand their feelings.     .     .

so are you a highly empathetic person;

Do you have those traits?

Some would actually say

t h o s e     t r a i t s

aren’t all that

admirable

Studies and Researchers say

approximately

T  W  E  N  T  Y       P E R C E N T

of the population are

highly empathetic people;

Caring Catalysts

Kind of makes

the

80/20

rule

u  n – r  u  l  y

 Maybe   that’s   the best definition of   EMPATHY

Webster’s

has yet to

d e f i n e

  WHAT     SAY     YOU ?

The GREATEST

By 4 Comments

You’ll have to forgive me.   .   .

in fact, you might want to skip this all together.     .     .

it’s a long clip

and I wouldn’t be blame you if you didn’t watch this 11 minute clip of

Billy Crystal’s famous

15  ROUNDS

depicting the life of Muhammad Ali

on his 5oth Birthday.

He died the other day some 24 years later.

I’ve been a life-long fan of Ali

and met him one time

at the JACK CASINO

when it was then Higbee’s in 1988

Ali was promoting his new cologne,

A   L  I

I bought a bottle so I didn’t have to stand in a longer line of those

who didn’t buy a bottle of his cologne but still wanted to meet him.

He was up on a small stage that looked like an open end

of a boxing ring.

I didn’t know if it was the

Legend or the Man

that loomed so large in front of me.

He shook my hand with his

huge baseball mit of a hand

and asked me,

“WHAT  DO  YOU  DO?”

I told him I was a minister.   .   .

“So am I,” he said.   .   .

“We both call our God’s by different names, but

H E     I S    O U R    G O D”

We locked eyes for a brief moment

and I muttered out,

“Thanks, Champ.”

No.   .   .

it wasn’t

The   G R E A T E S T

moment in my life

but it was a special one.

Ali’s truest fragrance wasn’t ever what he did in the ring

so much as what he did outside of the ring

being the truest kind of

Caring Catalyst

Who Cares

What Matters

.     .     . not for a profession

or a religious group

but  for

o     t     h     e     r     s

which is the best

r e l i g i o n

of  all.

I’ll  miss  him

but will not grieve

what he’s done

or what will continue

because he made an all too brief visit

through the world

and made it a little better. . .

and inspired many

to do the same.      .      .

“I’ve  made  my  share  of  mistakes  along  the  way,  but  if  I  have  changed  even  one  life  for  the better,  I  haven’t  lived  in  vain.”                                                                                                                                                                                                           –Muhammad Ali

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man