Communication — Page 59

BULLY

August 31, 2015 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

Sometimes. . .

The Bully gets

B U L L I E D

Most of the time, we’d stand up and cheer when we actually see or hear of this happening.

It is, actually, what makes this video so viral. . .

WE LOVE CHEERING FOR THE BULLIED. . .

The Underdog.

Here might be the question of the year. . .maybe even the decade. . .maybe this Century and

CENTURIES PAST:

What if the BULLY and the BULLIED

are one and the same. . .

What if

The Bully and the Bullied are actually

Y O U ?

The worst Bully you might ever encounter is the one that stares you down in the mirror

. . .there just might not be any more of a Brutal Bully.

I’m Fat. . .

I’m a Loser. . .

I’m Lazy. . .

I suck. . .

I’ll never get this right. . .

I’m not meant to be in a relationship. . .

I’ll never kick this habit. . .

I_________________________________. . . .

Whatever you believe about negative Self-Talk

YOU BETTER NOT BELIEVE THAT IT’s JUST IN YOUR HEAD !

The Research shows that HAPPY people have a way. . .a habit. . .of putting bad days behind them and LEAVING them there. . .

Head-butting the over matched, huge, big, bad Bully and not only standing up against that Bully

but actually

BACKING IT DOWN

Knock THAT TRAIN off it’s tracks.

We all do Self-Talk

We all do NEGATIVE Self -Talk

We all have the capability of doing POSITIVE Self-Talk

HOW?

Three Words:

C O N F I D A N T

S M A R T

E F F E C T I V E

Go ahead, Bullied,

Test it out. . .

The next time the Bully starts the trashing of YOU

Get YOUR BULLY on

See YOURSELF as Bullying the bully by being

Confident. . .Smart. . .Effective.

Hmmmmmmm of the The Day:

I bet that’ll get your Goat!

Paint Your Picture

August 17, 2015 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

It’s one thing to paint a

M A S T E R P I E C E

. . .And it’s quite another to just realize

YOU are a MASTERPIECE

John Bramblitt

went blind and only then began to really see. . .amazing that he felt going blind was actually the BEGINNING, the Prerequisite of him becoming an artist?

Have you ever gotten the feeling that there just might be something else you no way, no how, ever can do?

John Bramblitt is a blind artist from Texas who not only had sight, but is now blind, but

NOW AN ARTIST WHEN HE ONCE WAS NONE!

John paints the most amazing, colorful paintings–and he can’t see them, but to paint them he just doesn’t

i m a g i n e

he actually feels them and maybe best of all. . .

makes you experience them!

Obviously the inspirational point is apparent. . .

or. . .or is it?

Need we become so blind to

g e t i t ?

Y O U

are the Masterpiece the YOU need to BE

Y O U

are the Masterpiece the World needs to SEE

Y O U

are the Masterpiece that needs set Free

S E E, B E, F R E E

that magnificent Masterpiece in you

(o f t e n)

Get SHARED

The World is your Canvas. . .

waiting for your

C O L O R S

Deprive your Audience no longer!

UNdefeated

August 3, 2015 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

Well. . .what’s the greatest speech you’ve ever heard

WHEN YOU’VE LOST?

The one that Coach Belisle gave last year after his Cumberland Americans from little Rhode Island, lost in the Little League World Series has to rank up there as one of the best. . .not just for 12-13 year olds. . .but for a bunch of

L O S E R S

like us. . .because, well, none of us are undefeated, but all of us are

U N D E F E A T A B L E

I really like that he Coach Belisle actually gathered his team around and made them look UP. . .look him in the eye, because he can’t talk to heads that are hanging. . .

I really like that Coach Belisle told them that they had their whole town, , the whole state, ESPN all jumping because they are fighters; they didn’t quit; that they played the game the right way: HARD

I really like that Coach Belisle talked straight to their hearts from his heart. . .

I really like that Coach Belisle told them, “I love you guys. I’m going to love you forever. You’ve given me the most precious moment of my athletic and coaching career. . .I need memories like this, I need kids like this. You’re all my boys. You’re the boys of Summer. . .

The Point?

Remember the next time you open your mouth you can just say words or you can actually tell them what a heart shouts and mouths can’t begin to whisper. . .you can make another. . .MAKE a huge difference in another’s life. . .or

. . .or N O T. . . .

What do you say?

The WHERE and WHEN of it All

April 27, 2015 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

A lot of people Hear. . .

A lot of people Listen. . .

A lot of people don’t do either!

There’s a major difference between

COMPASSIONATE LISTENING

which we all have the capability of doing, of providing and

COMPASSIONATE HEARING.

Compassionate Listening takes place when you are with another person and you are in a sacred place of actually hearing The Story they not only have to tell, but also need to share.

Compassionate Hearing takes place when you are actually present at an event, a Spot in which it would be impossible for you NOT to hear something you could have ever had the opportunity to hear anywhere else:

A Song

A Word

A Phrase

A Sentence

A Message

It’s a B E I N G

Not so much to an IF

Not so much to a HOW

But actually to a Where and a When

When you are at that WHERE and that WHEN

you no longer Hear or Listen. . .

You Experience the real message. . .

and then you share it to be experienced by others:

THAT’S the Where and the When of it all. . .

Singing in the Bathtub isn’t like singing on stage in front of 10,000 people. . .

IT matters Where

IT matters When

That’s Hearing

That’s Listening

That’s Experiencing

That’s Living

That’s Being

That’s “IT”

Sign of the Times

April 20, 2015 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

I’ve known Stephanie Ford Jessup nearly all of her life; her parents, Tom and Diane are two of the finest people I know and her family is one of the best ever to be called friends.

I accidentally came across her video last week.

Stephanie is an American Sign Language Teacher at Medina High School.

You can easily tell that American Sign Language (ASL) is a very visual language…I’ve come to learn over the past week that with Signing, the brain processes this linguistic information through our eyes…what I love about this language is what Stephanie does so awesomely:

THE SHAPE, PLACEMENT, AND MOVEMENT OF THE HANDS, AS WELL AS THE FACIAL AND BODY MOVEMENTS, ALL PLAY IMPORTANT PARTS IN NOT ONLY CONVEYING INFORMATION, BUT ACTUALLY EXPRESSING AND MAKING IT UNDERSTOOD.

Heavy stuff, huh…but WHAT WE JUST SAW is feather light and more, inspires you to float about the what is said or heard, but begs to be experienced.

SO. . .what about the song that was being signed?

Uh-Ohhhhhhhh. . .tricky stuff no matter how we communicate or are communicated.

The Lyrics:

MY LOVER’S GOT HUMOUR
SHE’S THE GIGGLE AT A FUNERAL
KNOWS EVERYBODY’S DISAPPROVAL
I SHOULD’VE WORSHIPPED HER SOONER

IF THE HEAVENS EVER DID SPEAK
SHE’S THE LAST TRUE MOUTHPIECE
EVERY SUNDAY’S GETTING MORE BLEAK
A FRESH POISON EACH WEEK

“WE WERE BORN SICK” YOU HEARD THEM SAY IT

MY CHURCH OFFERS NO ABSOLUTES
SHE TELLS ME ‘WORSHIP IN THE BEDROOM’
THE ONLY HEAVEN I’LL BE SENT TO
IS WHEN I’M ALONE WITH YOU

I WAS BORN SICK
BUT I LOVE IT
COMMAND ME TO BE WELL
AAAY, AMEN. AMEN. AMEN.

TAKE ME TO CHURCH
I’LL WORSIP LIKE A DOG AT THE SHRINE OF YOUR LIES
I’LL TELL YOU MY SINS SO YOU CAN SHARPEN IN YOUR KNIFE
OFFER ME THAT DEATHLESS DEATH
GOOD GOD, LET ME GIVE YOU MY LIFE

IF I’M A PAGAN OF THE GOOD TIMES
MY LOVER’S THE SUNLIGHT
TO KEEP THE GODDESS ON MY SIDE
SHE DEMANDS A SACRIFICE

DRAIN THE WHOLE SEA
GET SOMETHING SHINY
SOMETHING MEATY FOR THE MAIN COURSE
THAT’S A FINE-LOOKING HIGH HORSE
WHAT YOU GOT IN THE STABLE
WE’VE A LOT OF STARVING FAITHFUL

THAT LOOKS TASTY
THAT LOOKS PLENTY
THIS IS HUNGRY WORK

TAKE ME TO CHURCH
I’LL WORSHIP LIKE A DOG AT THE SHRINE OF YOUR LIES
I’LL TELL YOU MY SINS SO YOU CAN SHARPEN YOUR KNIFE
OFFER ME MY DEATHLESS DEATH
GOOD GOD, LET ME GIVE YOU MY LIFE

NO MASTERS OR KINGS
WHEN THE RITUAL BEGINS
THERE IS NO SWEETER INNOCENCE THAN OUR GENTLE SIN

IN THE MADNESS AND SOIL OF THAT SAD EARTHLY SCENE
ONLY THEN I AM HUMAN
ONLY THEN I AM CLEAN
OOOH OH. AMEN. AMEN. AMEN.

TAKE ME TO CHURCH
I’LL WORSHIP LIKE A DOG AT THE SHRINE OF YOUR LIES
I’LL TELL YOU MY SINS SO YOU CAN SHARPEN YOUR KNIFE
OFFER ME THAT DEATHLESS DEATH
GOOD GOD, LET ME GIVE YOU MY LIFE.

Your interpretation?

When I asked Stephanie for permission to use this, she warned me that one of the interpretations of this song is related to gay people who go to church seeking to worship God but instead are told they won’t go to Heaven unless they’re Straight and about the countless frustrations of having a partner and others looking down and condemning them.

True enough, look at the original YouTube video of the song.

Some say it slams the Church for trying to be the Church.

The author, Hozier himself said that the song is not really about either:

“THE SONG IS ABOUT ASSERTING YOURSELF AND RECLAIMING YOUR HUMANITY THROUGH AN ACT OF LOVE. TURNING YOUR BACK ON THE THEORETICAL THING, SOMETHING THAT’S NOT TANGIBLE, AND CHOOSING TO WORSHIP OR LOVE SOMETHING THAT IS TANGIBLE AND REAL”

Pssssssst. . .all of that means nothing, not even what the writer of the song/lyrics, does it?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU?

Not just this song or any other. . .but what’s

C O M M U N I C A T E D

what’s actually Said
what’s actually Heard

Really. . .

It’s one thing to hear the lyrics
It’s one thing to see the Signs
It’s one thing to watch the facial expressions
It’s one thing to observe the body movements
It’s one thing to KNOW the Person Signing
It’s one thing to interpret it through your filter and experiences. . .

Just when you think you’ve GOT IT
when it comes to Communication
Uhhhhhhhhhhh. . .
YOU DON’T

Is there such a thing as a Universal Language?

UNSPOKEN
but
HEARD,
UNDERSTOOD?

Maybe not. . .

Maybe not if it doesn’t Universally includes us ALL

Hear That
Speak That
Experience That

SHARE THAT. . .anyway it needs to be heard, spoken, experienced, Understood

Always

ALL-WAYS!

It’s so much more than just The Sign of the Times.

McBrought It

September 12, 2014 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

I’m impatient.

That’s a huge McUnderstatement.

Would you like a McClassic Example?

So very crowded was the line inside of McDonald’s that I went back outside, got in my car and got in the drive-thru line.

It was also a dramatic illustration of just how competitive I am, even with myself. My personal-no-one-even-noticed-Game was to get in my car, go through the drive-thru, get my order, park my car and get back into McDonald’s and eat my sausage egg McMuffin without the last person in line inside the store getting their order.

Little did I know that there was another game about to take place. . .

One with a couple of Winners.

I first heard her voice when I came up to the speaker to place my order.

Before she ever asked me for my order, she asked me this:

“Good morning. Are you having a good day?”

I told her I was having an awesome day and asked her how she was doing?

She told me, “Most Excellent.”

“Now what can I get for you to make the day better,” she asked?

I placed my order and was a little intrigued to find who this Order-Taking Wizard was.

She was young, and had a smile on her face that filled the window.

She told me what I owed her and as I handed her the money, I told her I owed her much more than that.

“How is it that you are TAKING orders but GIVING so much more than what you could put in a bag?”

She laughed and said, “I’ve never heard it put THAT way before.”

I thanked her for making my morning and she thanked me for coming through her line and told me it was good to see me.

I gave her my standard reply to that comment: “IT’S BETTER TO BE SEEN THAN VIEWED”

She laughed and that when I said, “Hey, thanks for bringing it. . .you McBROGHT IT!”

She yelled as I drifted away, “Thanks, you McBrought it, too!”

I hurried and parked my car and went back into McDonald’s to read the papered news and eat my Sausage Egg McMuffin.

Oh yeah, I was smiling big because I had beaten the people who were still in line waiting for their orders.

I WON!

…and then, and then I realized, I ready had W O N. . . .

When was the last time Some One McBrought if for you?

When was the last time you McBrought if for Some One Else?

Let the Game begin. . .

McBring It!

W I N

Listening is Speaking (Volumes)

August 15, 2014 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

There’s very things I really enjoy more than Speaking.

It’s actually FIRST nature to me.

I’ve been babbling since, well since EVER BEFORE I CAN ACTUALLY REMEMBER.

I’ve got a mouth that belongs in a circus and it’s rare when it’s actually shut–I’m told I even talk in my sleep.

Is it always because I have something to say?

Do I love the sound of my voice, THAT much?

Does it cover up a multitude of other flaws?

Has it gotten me as much OUT of trouble as it has IN trouble?

Well….

I’ve come to understand, in spite of my love of the spoken word (MINE), that sometimes the greatest things I ever say are the things I DON’T.

I loved sharing the small YouTube video of me, shot a few years ago before I began blogging, before there actually was a www.thecaringcatalyst.com website.

OF COURSE, I HAD TO TELL SOMEONE ABOUT IT!

But, it wasn’t the video, it wasn’t the wasted preparation time, the travel to this venue for nurses, social workers, and nursing home administrators that was of any consequence THAT night.

It was not the Story-Telling…

It was the STORY-LISTENING that took place.

I’m not shocking anyone with this statement:

WE LISTEN TO REPLY!

But when our main agenda is to Listen, FIRST, Second and Third, the most amazing type of Communication takes place.

We don’t so much get to use our Ears but THAT which only hears what a heart shouts and a mouth can’t begin to Whisper.

T H A T language of the Soul, Words of the Heart, is the most sacred and the most significant. . .

And, and the most NEEDED!

When I became the audience THAT night, when I actually was able to be my own living illustration of HEARING WHAT WASN’T SAID…I not only became a card-carrying STORY-LISTENER, I instantaneously became more Empathetic, more Humanly in tuned, more Compassionate.

I was able to learn once more, which I LOUDLY EXTOLE each time I present, DID YOU HEAR WHAT I DIDN’T SAY?…

What I know, what I know I know, what I bet my life that I know, I, for the very life of me, don’t always act like I know:

EVERYONE HAS A STORY THAT DESPERATELY, NOT SO MUCH NEEDS TO BE TOLD, AS SIMPLY H E A R D!

I Became THAT person THAT night.

Now, at this moment, I’m inviting you to an awesome Phenomenon:

Join me.

Do the Same.

O F T E N. . .

It just might well leave you, uhhhh…

SPEECHLESS.

Story-Telling, Story-Listening, Story-Applying

July 23, 2014 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

I love telling stories.

I love listening to stories.

One of my favorite stories either comes from the Talmud or Ben Franklin, but the story’s so great to tell, listen to and now read…WHO CARES?

It’s a story about Abraham and Sarah. They invited an old man to join them for a meal and to stay for a night of rest. After the generosity shown, the man, appropriately thanked them for their warm hospitality. Abraham assured him, “You need not thank me. Whatever I have given you comes from the God of creation. Thank God.”

“Why would I bother to thank your God when I have my own?” the old man said reaching into his pack. He brought out a wooden idol and set it on the floor before them. “This is the god who I intend to thank for taking care of me.”

Abraham was livid. “How dare you worship a god made with hands,” he shouted. He seized the man and threw him out of the tent. “I am sorry I ever wasted my warm hospitality on you,” he yelled out at the man who was now quickly walking away.

Before the old man was even out of sight, though, Abraham heard a voice calling his name.

“Yes, Lord?” Abraham answered.

“For 80 years I have protected and cared for the old man you just threw out of your tent. All this time, though he has given credit to his wooden idol, I have continued to claim him as my own. Although he knows no better, Abraham, YOU DO! Now go, find this old man, and bring him back. You make him feel welcome. You are to serve even those who do not understand that there is but one God.”

And Abraham once again obeyed God.

I love telling stories.

I love hearing stories.

I love applying stories…

…or at least, I want to love applying them more to my day to day living.

“…He knows no better–YOU DO–serve even those who do not understand that there is but One God….”

Hmmmmmmm…maybe Compassionate Telling, Compassionate Listening, Compassionate Applying is what The Story is ever all about…Maybe….

Read This. . .

June 30, 2014 By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment

This clip of Seinfeld is one of my Favorites. It’s appropriately called, “THE LIP READER.”

It’s Classic Seinfeld.

It’s Classic Jerry.

It’s Classic George.

It’s Classic US!

Did you hear what I didn’t say?

Did you SEE what You Thought my Lips Said?

Communication comes in so many forms and is misinterpreted in just as many.

T H E Y

Tell us: We retain 10% of what we Read
20% of what we Hear
30% of what we See
50% of what we Hear and See
70% of what we Say
90% of what we Say and DO.

You may bet a Country of Farms on this one and WIN:

B E T

. . .that when you THINK you Know what’s being Communicated, you are at the highest RISK level for absolutely knowing NOTHING!

GET THAT!

…No matter who great of a Communicator and Listener, A See’er a Hear’er you think you may be–

YOU ARE NOT!

If we hired are own personal Lip Reader what would you want that Lip Reader to peruse?

What would you want your own personal Lip Reader to ascertain information-wise for you?

What would you want your Lip Reader to part on your behalf?

We just aren’t all that good with the Speaking,
with the Hearing,
with the Signing,
with the Interpreting.

Mostly. . .we aren’t good at admitting it. . .

Mostly. . .we ARE fantastic at Faking it.

No More!

We may fail horribly of Communicating–all aspects–the saying, the hearing, the understanding, the interpreting.

Let us FAIL NOT evermore now…

of at least Attempting!

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