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Who Cares - What Matters
By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment
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L
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K
. . . .
By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment
Does Change jingle?
That’s the problem, isn’t it?
Most of the time when Change is imminent, it makes no sound…
IT JUST HAPPENS!
The worst kind of Change there is the kind that is Jingle-less.
She just graduated from high-school three months ago and now it time for her next step into another phase.
Did you hear that Change Jingle?
She was afraid and began telling herself that she was never meant to go to college just because she had never been. She was absolutely positive that if she just took another four months, maybe even six months off to perfect her study habits and separate more gradually from her friends, she might be able to face it–for surely, she thought, no eighteen year old on the face of the planet was as messed up and as confused as her.
Her parents said, “Ahhhhh, we know THIS Place. . . .
Did you hear that Change Jingle?
She indeed went off to college when that crucial moment came, just as planned and PAID. When she moved into her dorm, she called her mom and said, I”I think I’m going to like it here.
Her mom said, “Ahhhh, I know this place. . . .
In the morning she called her dad, crying, saying she was just too lonely to bear it.
Her dad said, “Ahhhh, I know this place. . . .
Did you hear THAT Change Jingle?
What is stopping you from doing what you always meant to do?
The worst kind of Change there is, isn’t the kind that jingles. . .
The worst kind of Change there is, is the kind that is Jingle-less, but still so loudly clanging around in your soul…eery. . . .
The only thing constant is Change and even when we are on the down slope of the see-saw we moan, “Why
couldn’t I have stayed at the top–longer?
C H A N G E. . .that never jingles or jangles so much as rattles…
Endlessly.
By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment
Today is August 25, four months, or about 120 days away from Christmas.
Hey, I make no excuses or do little to hide that Christmas is my favorite day of the year…actually, my favorite Season and in many ways, it’s already begun. I’ve seen Christmas decorations in some department stores–even before Labor Day. To me, it’s a great reminder of not only WHAT IS COMING, but WHAT IS ACTUALLY HERE!
Now.
What’s your favorite time of the year? What’s your favorite Season? What’s that one time during the 364 days that you always yearn, look forward to–C E L E B R A T E?
Is it your Birthday?
Anniversary?
A landmark moment of good news?
We do, don’t we?
We get F L A S H E S of it other than at an actual moment, the time, or the day, don’t we.
When’s the last time a day has come up and Flashed it self on you; surprised you, made you sit up and realize that your favorite day isn’t a day at all, not a season, a moment or an event–but a lifestyle?
If you lived with an expectancy, or better still, an actual KNOWING, that everyday contains not just elements but the very ingredients of whatever makes YOUR DAY ordinary, EXTRAordinary…wouldn’t Life be a little different?
NO…I don’t think so.
Anyone can DECIDE to have a good day–few actually DO.
Don’t be the proverbial Frog, sitting on a log who DECIDES to jump off–Deciding will keep him on that log for an eternity–L E A P!
News F L A S H
Your Special Day isn’t on the calendar, a time coming or going….
It’s NOW!
If you’ll excuse me, Fa-la-la-la-la, La, La, La LAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment
Friday Afternoon in a nursing home.
Lots of activity for most, but not for her.
She had said often, maybe too often, because of her vascular dementia, that she was an old clock with not many ticks left.
It seemed on this Friday afternoon, she was right.
I received a call mid-afternoon from her Hospice Nurse telling me that she was actively dying; that she was mottled on her hands and feet and up her legs to her knees. She reported that she was having periods of apnea as well, up to fifteen seconds of not breathing at a time.
She called me because she knew that we had a special relationship over the past eight months and felt that the patient would have liked to have me there.
I let the nurse know that I was on my way, but still about a half and hour to forty-five minutes away. She told me that she would stay with the patient until I got there and that she already had set up for a Vigil Volunteer to be there later in the evening if necessary.
The nurse and I had worked together with many previous patients. She was good. She was very competent, caring, compassionate and ATHEIST.
I didn’t think that believing or not believing or anything in between made a difference when it came to bringing compassionate care.
We had many discussions about “The whole God thing,” mostly brought up by her. I never forced those discussions or any of my beliefs. I had much admiration and respect for her and knew the care she brought to the bedside.
Are you Perfect?
I am.
Pristine. Unadulterated. Pure. Faultless–ME!
Perfectly IMPERFECT!
You?
The Teacher Knows.
The story goes, not so Once-Upon-A-Time, but currently, when a Rabbi, The Teacher, prayed daily that God would make a perfect world in which there would never be any hatred, jealously, pain or problems.
Well, wouldn’t you know, one night, God appeared to the Rabbi, The Teacher in a dream and took him on a wonderful tour of any absolutely, magnificently uncorruptable World.
P E R F E C T
The Rabbi, The Teacher, saw his house, his synagogue, his little town. Lions and lambs were actually laying down together.
P E A C E F U L
Still, this Rabbi, The Teacher was troubled. Something, something was terribly absent…MISSING!
“Where am in in this Perfect World,” the Rabbi, The Teacher asked, wanted…needed to know?
God offered the most apologetic answer, ever: “This is a perfect world you requested. You must understand that you are NOT PERFECT, so you cannot be included.”
We are NEVER just one thing in Life, are we?
We are all so very PLURAL and never so SINGULAR.
But one thing, one thing through all of these Personas, through all these changes, through all our ages, our comings/goings, stayings/leavings, pasts/presents/futures remains the same, doesn’t it?
We–everyone one of us–are undeniably, immaculately, impeccably, PERFECTLY IMPERFECT.
It helps, doesn’t it, with the WHY’S, the HOW-COME’S, the WHAT-FOR’S?
Expecting the world, this world of August 20, 2014 to treat us fairly because we are nice, caring, compassionate, PERFECTLY IMPERFECT People is like expecting a Bull not to gore us just because we are vegetarians.
Are you Perfect?
I am.
So are you.
We, we are PERFECTLY IMPERFECT.
By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment
Are you more of an Adjective, a Noun or a Verb?
If you ask what the World needs now, the old Jackie DeShannon song from the 60’s, would tell you,
L O V E.
Do you agree? I mean who in their right or even wrong mind wouldn’t agree, right?
Uhhhh, well…maybe me.
The world doesn’t need Love, Compassion, Forgiveness, Empathy, Sympathy, or Acceptance.
They’re great thoughts.
Easy to say and spell words.
The World needs, not adjectives or more nouns, but VERBS.
Why do a Random Act of Kindness when you can do two?
Why write or read a blog when you can be what one can never quite capture or explain?
Why talk of Compassion when you can DO or BE Compassion.
SHOW WHAT CAN’T BE SAID BUT SO MUCH NEEDS TO BE EXPERIENCED. . . .
Are you more of an Adjective?
Are you more of an Noun?
Pssssst: Here’s the good new about being a Verb:
It most likely will be really easy on your wallet but it’s going to cost you your time, your creativity, your patience and maybe some of your peace of mind.
But, but it’s going to pay what no 401K, paycheck, or award ceremony could ever guarantee or remit.
Can you pay THAT price?
BE A VERB!
You’re all about action anyway.
HEY, if your Heart doesn’t skip a beat. . .why should you?
By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment
There’s very things I really enjoy more than Speaking.
It’s actually FIRST nature to me.
I’ve been babbling since, well since EVER BEFORE I CAN ACTUALLY REMEMBER.
I’ve got a mouth that belongs in a circus and it’s rare when it’s actually shut–I’m told I even talk in my sleep.
Is it always because I have something to say?
Do I love the sound of my voice, THAT much?
Does it cover up a multitude of other flaws?
Has it gotten me as much OUT of trouble as it has IN trouble?
Well….
I’ve come to understand, in spite of my love of the spoken word (MINE), that sometimes the greatest things I ever say are the things I DON’T.
I loved sharing the small YouTube video of me, shot a few years ago before I began blogging, before there actually was a www.thecaringcatalyst.com website.
OF COURSE, I HAD TO TELL SOMEONE ABOUT IT!
But, it wasn’t the video, it wasn’t the wasted preparation time, the travel to this venue for nurses, social workers, and nursing home administrators that was of any consequence THAT night.
It was not the Story-Telling…
It was the STORY-LISTENING that took place.
I’m not shocking anyone with this statement:
WE LISTEN TO REPLY!
But when our main agenda is to Listen, FIRST, Second and Third, the most amazing type of Communication takes place.
We don’t so much get to use our Ears but THAT which only hears what a heart shouts and a mouth can’t begin to Whisper.
T H A T language of the Soul, Words of the Heart, is the most sacred and the most significant. . .
And, and the most NEEDED!
When I became the audience THAT night, when I actually was able to be my own living illustration of HEARING WHAT WASN’T SAID…I not only became a card-carrying STORY-LISTENER, I instantaneously became more Empathetic, more Humanly in tuned, more Compassionate.
I was able to learn once more, which I LOUDLY EXTOLE each time I present, DID YOU HEAR WHAT I DIDN’T SAY?…
What I know, what I know I know, what I bet my life that I know, I, for the very life of me, don’t always act like I know:
EVERYONE HAS A STORY THAT DESPERATELY, NOT SO MUCH NEEDS TO BE TOLD, AS SIMPLY H E A R D!
I Became THAT person THAT night.
Now, at this moment, I’m inviting you to an awesome Phenomenon:
Join me.
Do the Same.
O F T E N. . .
It just might well leave you, uhhhh…
SPEECHLESS.
By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment
We have all heard the news…and it’s sad.
Was it suicide?
Were drugs involved?
Did the Cloud of Depression become Landscape and Horizon all in one?
We may never know.
It evokes all of the UNANSWERABLES:
Why. . .How Come. . .What for. . .?
I’ve dealt with many suicides and none are neat and none come with an answer–only a supposed excuse.
She left him…he left us; bi-polarism; depression, drug addiction; alcoholism; loneliness, brokenheartism; busted relationships; loss of work, loss of money, loss of dignity, pain, disappointment, un-met expectation, un-filled dreams, embarrassment, utter exhaustion…the reason, both matters and matters not.
In my first parish, it was in a small town of about 500 people. I learned behind every door, my door, too, is a pain so deep no imagination could ever fully conjure; that words can’t be attached, feelings can’t be shared or begun to be understood and that the best of intentions, the purest of forms of love, the divine gift of Presence–none of it is ever enough, which causes an entirely different kind of pain, emptiness and ineptness.
It’s not for lack of attempt, care, empathy, love or compassion, but sometimes we just can never know the pain and the battles others are fighting–especially those who seem to have “the world by the tail on a downhill slide.” (A quote from a friend who killed himself after one more time of swearing to never do heroin again and to guarantee it, he found himself at the end of a rope).
If there’s one common painful denominator it just may be that the power of addiction and the desolation of depression DO NOT DISCRIMINATE BY HOW FULL YOUR POCKETS ARE OR HOW FAMOUSLY RECOGNIZED YOU ARE ANY WHERE IN THE WORLD.
I was very conflicted as to which film clip to use…because I’ve used several in the presentations I do.
I was very tempted to put in his clip from Patch Adams where he tearfully extols a medical board that when “You treat a disease, you win, you lose, but when you treat a Person, I guarantee you, YOU WIN!”
I was just as tempted to use the Park Bench scene from his Oscar winning movie, GOOD WILL HUNTING with Matt Damon.
I chose, DEAD POET’S SOCIETY because of the fate of an eventual death for all of us, it seemed fitting.
I don’t believe THE SEIZING is in vain. Of course we Seize until we don’t, we can’t and then, well then, I’d like to think we are CARPE’D in the most profound and purest Sense.
When I was growing up, I was always taught that Suicide was a Sin and that you will go to Hell without passing GO or Collecting $200.00.
That it was a Permanent Solution to a Temporary problem. . .a Coward’s way out. . . .
I guess I now feel Personally and Professionally that I can’t intimately wonder, let alone state, “I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL,” or “I UNDERSTAND,” because I don’t and honestly, I hope I or my dearest loved ones never do.
So. . .hmmmmm, so I sincerely implore and actually do believe, that Robin, like so very, very many before him, now unfeignedly know THE PEACE he, they, were seeking.
And, and in that vein–may his, may their Peace, now be ours, too.
By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment
I had never met him.
I had never even met his Nephew except a half an hour before his memorial service.
I expressed my condolences and asked if he or anyone else might want to speak during the service.
The Nephew said he would be sharing some thoughts.
I had a small opening welcome and short prayer and then invited The Nephew to come forward to share and he did so much more.
He told that his uncle was a World War II vet who never much talked about the war. Recently as his uncle declined and had to be placed in a nursing facility and later, on hospice care, he began sharing his story.
The Nephew shared a story his uncle told him within a week of his death. He had become very restless and no matter what medications were administered, he wasn’t calmed.
The Nephew shared he went to see his uncle one early morning before he left for work, after what the nursing home staff called and stated, it was a fairly difficult and anxious night.
His uncle, who had been fairly confused, told The Nephew of an early morning during the war.
He said that he was lost from his platoon and was wondering through the forest in the fog when he came upon a German soldier propped up against a tree, sleeping, with his gun nearby.
When the German soldier awoke and went for his gun, it was too late. The Uncle already was standing over him with his gun just inches from the soldier’s head.
The German Soldier begged him not to pull the trigger and asked him, “Do you have a family? Do you have kids?”
The Uncle said he did and the German Soldier asked if he could see pictures of his children and wanted to know if he in return could show him pictures of his kids.
They shared a moment.
They talked about families of loneliness, of missing what was most important to the both of them.
Two, tired, weary, fathers/husbands/sons/soldiers, they shared a moment, a moment of compassion, of humanity, of Commonness.
The Uncle, handed back the pictures and received the ones he had just shared with the German soldier and asked him, “Do you believe in Heaven?”
The German soldier nodded and agreed that he did believe in heaven.
The Uncle then said, “Maybe we’ll meet again there.”
And he pulled the trigger and fatally shot the German soldier in the head.
Psssssssssst: Come back to me.
We are in the middle of a memorial service of a man I had never met, hearing a story from The Nephew, another man I had never met, and I, like the forty or so others, for the first time, heard THAT Story.
You want to talk about ‘hear-a-pin-drop-silence?’
The air was sucked out of the room. . .and before the next breath could be taken, before any of us could dare believe what we were about to hear next, The Nephew asked, almost in unbelievable horror, “Uncle…How, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE TO LIVE WITH YOURSELF?”
He related that the Uncle, just above a raspy whisper stated, “Who says I have?”
The Nephew shared that there was an awkward silence between them that early morning in the nursing home. He said The Uncle with a tear running down the side of his cheek also shared, “Every day I ask God to forgive me. . .and every day He does.”
The first thought I had when The Nephew sat down after sharing was, “How do I respond to that? What am I going to say?”
Funny, my first thought was about ME, huh?
“EVERY DAY I ASK GOD TO FORGIVE ME AND EVERYDAY I HE DOES,” I echoed and then, I echoed again.
Our lives are a mixture of all different colored threads…some much darker than others…and yet they all make up this thing called, “The Tapestry of our Lives.” All of those loose-ends, those dangling strings, those jumbled, tumbled up knots that make up the BACK of our Tapestries also, most definitely, CREATE the FRONT of our Tapestries as well.
This happened a few years ago and it hasn’t left me yet.
My biggest Wondering is often,
WHICH OF US ISN’T THE UNCLE?
Which of us, asking forgiveness, believes we actually receive it–
F O R E V E R ?
Sometimes…GETTING is the Hardest type of Giving!
By ChuckBehrens Leave a Comment
21,550 isn’t all that a big number. . .
Until, until it is.
If a person were allowed to live for 21,550 days, 3.078 weeks would have been ventured; 707 months survived, 15 leap years endured…
1,861,904,152 seconds
31,031,735 minutes
517,195 hours
1,539 fortnights
792 lunar moons
414 dog years
60.81 lunar years
2.27 generations
0.59 centuries
0.05904 milleniums
0.00000025669823197229 galactic years
…Countless Moments. . . .
As much as we are not a Label, we are not a distinct moment.
We are so very, very much more and much, much more to become.
What. . .which day isn’t a Birth Day…which day isn’t one we haven’t expired to be birthed again…in another, new way?
I’ve decided to become, without another fortnight or galactic, nanosecond to pass,
A PERSON OF NO AGE.
Ten thousand flowers in spring, the moon in autumn,
a cool breeze in summer, snow in winter.
If your mind isn’t clouded by unnecessary things,
this is the best season of your life.
–Wu Men (Hui-k’ai)
I’m inspired and awed by so much and better–so very, very MANY.
Pause…as I have a few moments before writing these few facts/figures and thoughts from Sherry Ruth Anderson’s story about harp lessons (in this google link below)
http://books.google.com/books?id=fG4dAgAAQBAJ&lpg=PT53&ots=q2SKD57_Jn&dq=sherry+ruth+anderson+ripening+time+harpo+marx&pg=PT52#v=onepage&q=sherry%20ruth%20anderson%20ripening%20time%20harpo%20marx&f=false
How about it? Are you up for becoming a Person of No Age?
Join me…let’s be TIMELESS…and oh yeah…Happy Birth
Day.