Your Best
M E M E N T O. . . :
Food
Clothes
Hats
Cars
Motorcycles
Bikes
Houses
Vacations
Smart Phones
Smarter TV’s
Socks
Shoes
Coats
Watches
Furniture
Beds
Blankets
Sheets
Pillows
Restaurants
Jobs
r e l a t i o n s h i p s
Who Cares - What Matters
Your Best
M E M E N T O. . . :
Food
Clothes
Hats
Cars
Motorcycles
Bikes
Houses
Vacations
Smart Phones
Smarter TV’s
Socks
Shoes
Coats
Watches
Furniture
Beds
Blankets
Sheets
Pillows
Restaurants
Jobs
r e l a t i o n s h i p s
HAVE YOU CAUGHT THAT LOST
THAT STOLEN HOUR
from this past weekend. . . ?
The start of Daylight Saving Time, when the clocks spring forward by an hour, is among the most hated days of the year. Aside from the obvious reason — losing an hour of sleep — research has shown that the time change, which this year falls on March 11, may contribute to everything from lost productivity to a heightened risk of heart attack and stroke.
It has a way of making everyone go
H A Y W I R E
How can resetting your clocks do all that?
TIME asked Dr. Cathy Goldstein, an assistant professor of neurology at the University of Michigan School of Medicine Sleep Disorders Center, what really happens to your body when you lose an hour of sleep for Daylight Saving Time.
Daylight Saving Time’s true impact goes beyond losing an hour of sleep, Goldstein says. Your circadian rhythm, an internal clock that “exists so that wakefulness is promoted during the day, and sleep is promoted at night,” Goldstein says, is also affected.
Thanks to circadian rhythms, the body begins secreting melatonin, a sleep-promoting hormone, around 9 p.m., with levels dropping way off by the next morning. Light exposure can moderate your circadian rhythm a bit, but the body more or less relies on consistent sleep and wakefulness cues — so when they’re altered, even by an hour, your sleep gets misaligned.
“You take somebody who’s very sleepy when they get up at 6 a.m., and then they get up at 6 a.m. during Daylight Saving Time, and for them that’s physiologically 5 a.m.,” Goldstein says. “That’s a big problem, because you’re waking up at a time when the circadian system is not yet promoting alertness. It’s still pushing for that sleepiness.”
Plus, you may lose sleep on both ends of your cycle, since your normal bedtime will feel earlier, potentially making it harder to fall asleep in the first place. Even worse, DST happens on a weekend, when many people stay up later and sleep in. Because of the cumulative effects, you lose more like two or three hours of sleep, and it could take up to a week to get back on a normal schedule, Goldstein says.
Research has shown that losing an hour of sleep may cause you to eat roughly 200 more calories the next day, primarily from fat- and carbohydrate-heavy foods. Exercise endurance also falters after a night of inadequate sleep, Goldstein says, so your workout will likely be sluggish. Work or school performance may also suffer, she adds, citing studies that have found an uptick in “cyberloafing” — or wasting time online — in the days after DST.
Many studies of shift workers, whose nighttime sleep is often disrupted, have also identified health problems associated with chronic sleep deprivation, including heightened risks of obesity, cardiovascular disease and even cancer. While one night of bad sleep certainly isn’t enough to cause these conditions, Goldstein says the findings highlight the importance of solid slumber.
With a little planning, you can save yourself from the worst of the DST hangover.
Before the event occurs, Goldstein recommends going to bed and rising 15 minutes earlier than you normally would. Then, continue to shave off an additional 15 minutes each night leading up to the time change. That way, by the time Daylight Saving Time rolls around, you’ll be more or less acclimated to the adjusted time.
“To help you do that, I recommend getting lots of bright light in the early mornings, because that is what makes your internal clock earlier, and that will help you match better to Daylight Saving Time when the clock adjusts,” Goldstein says.
You should also use DST as inspiration to take stock of your regular sleep habits, Goldstein says. For example, most people could do a better job of keeping sleep and wake times consistent, even on weekends. (Goldstein recommends waking up at your normal time and taking a nap on weekend afternoons, if you need one.) Another common area for improvement is minimizing technology use within two hours of bedtime, Goldstein says.
Does
KNOWING MAKE A DIFFERENCE
Kind of makes you
S T O P
a Second
or a few
to at least
W O N D E R
if not
U N D E R S T A N D
another way
why you feel the way
YOU DO
(or don’t)
She was doing what most women do like breathing. . .
she was multitasking in the most expertly way;
The only reason I came to the courtesy desk to begin with
was because I had a buy some stamps. . .
She yelled from aisle 3:
“I’ll be right there,”
and sure enough she was. . .
faster than a second’s moment
By the time she got to the register she was a little out of breath;
she welcomed me
and when she saw the smile on my face
she asked me this question:
“Who put the sunshine in your day?”
I smiled back at her and said,
“You did,”
She gave me a look over the top of her bifocals and she said,
“If you only knew. . .”
“If I only knew what,” I asked?
She told me the last four months have been horrible. . .
she lost her son to a heroin overdose
and then her father to death
even though he was her stepfather
she clarified without a pause of taking a breath,
“That was my father !”
She added as a sigh
more than a statement,
“Things haven’t been going well at home,”
and then with a look of mocked disgust added:
“. . .and to make worse somebody that was supposed to be there today to help me called off.”
She told me without knowing
M E
without knowing my role
without knowing anything about my reason
or wanting to know my place in life
She offered up,
“I told God, ‘You said you only give us what we could handle;’ I told Him that’s enough young man. . .that is enough!”
I had to ask:
“I’ve got to ask you out of just pure I curiosity did you get any response to that?”
She chuckled out,
“Well I’ve been waiting for thunder and lightning,”
and I asked her do you think that would be the response. . . ?
She told me at this point her life any response even a bad one would be good;
I looked for her name tag where it was supposed to be on her shirt and she goes,
“Oh yeah, that’s another thing I forgot. . . my name tag.”
She said,
“But you know what sometimes it’s great to be nameless.”
I told her sometimes it’s absolutely fantastic to be nameless.
She was my walking talking sermon that morning. . .
She told me when life throws lemons at you
“Why make lemonade, go for the margarita?”
She told me as I was walking away
to have a great day and thanks for listening. . .
I stopped and turned back towards her again and said,
“Listen, you just made my day 100% better not because of your sad pail of WOE, but because in spite of it all, you’re just not telling me your story, but taking care of me and everyone else. . .”
I went over to her again and extended my hand to her,
I shook her hand with both of mine,
“You’re not just dealing with a storm but a whole tsunami and you just haven’t survived it, but THRIVED IT!”
Her eyes filled up with tears;
I held her hand harder and said,
“I’ve got three words for you, WOW! YOU’RE AMAZING!”
So. . .
Who put the Sunshine in Your Day
may not be the question so much as
WILL YOU BE THE WHO BRINGING THE SUNSHINE TO SOMEONE ELSE’S DAY?
R E – F R A M I N G
sometimes is less about Form
and more about a
s h a r e d f i e l d o f v i e w. . .
Have you ever run on Empty?
How far have you been willing to push it?
Have you ever run just past Empty?
Had you walking, didn’t it. . . ?
. . .or at least furiously texting or calling to get
r e s c u e d
unless that tank isn’t a gas tank. . .
Is Your
E m p a t h y T a n k
running low?
There’s research out of the University of Michigan led by Sara H. Konrath and Published in Personality and Social Psychology Review,
which contends that our empathy has declined significantly over the past thirty plus years. . .
S H O C K I N G ?
Since the creation of the Interpersonal Reactivity Index in 1979, tens of thousands of students have filled out this questionnaire while participating in studies examining everything from neural responses to others’ pain to levels of social conservatism. Ms. Konrath and her colleagues took advantage of his wealth of data by collating self-reported empathy scores of nearly 14,000 students. She then used a technique known as cross-temporal meta-analysis to measure whether scores have changed over the years. The results were startling:
ALMOST 75% of students today
rate themselves as less empathic than the average student 30 years ago!
W O W
You want to hear the good news?
The shared belief is that
IF EMPATHY CAN CHANGE. . .
IF IT CAN DECLINE. . .
IT CAN
I N C R E A S E !
Have you ever run on empty?
Have you ever run past empty?
How far have you ever been willing to push it?
What’s sapped your empathy the most?
What’s dried up your empathy the fastest?
What’s fueled your empathy?
What fills up your empathy tank the fastest?
When’s the last time you felt it for another?
What were the circumstances?
The quickest way to RE – FILL?
The studies say:
READ Fiction
WATCH a Movie
TOUCH a Hand
LET A HAND TOUCH YOURS. . .
Fill’er UP
(o f t e n)
BEFORE YOU GO RUNNING
E M P T Y
F A L M O U T H J A M A I C A
early morning
and yet different from any other morning
I had ever been
I had ever experienced
on vacation. . .
THE STREETS WERE ALIVE
Vendors Vending
Cookers Cooking
Sellers Selling
Crafters Crafting
Singers Singing
Dancers Dancing
Pulses Pulsating
There was a
BEAT
in the air
and it was as
I N D I V I D U A L
as your own fingerprint
real as your own heartbeat
closer than your next breath
and it begged
for you
not so much to to find
Y O U R B E A T
as it
i m p l o r e d
you to share
it. . .
G U A R A N T E E:
The World doesn’t NEED
Your BEAT
it just craves to
E X P E R I E N C E I T
(share it)
T H E E L E V A T O R
is always in
S E R V I C E
and it doesn’t matter so much
W H O
purses the Buttons
as it does
WHICH FLOOR YOU DECIDE TO GET OFF. . .
I flat out got my BUTTONS pushed this past week
My FUSE
not only got lit
I found out painfully just how short it was
on this particular day
because of this SCRUPULOUS Reason. . .
WHAT CLOGS YOUR DRAIN. . .
I RE-DISCOVERED what stopped mine up
to less than a trickle. . .
I was asked to do the funeral for
a person I had never met:
N O R M A L
I got at the funeral home to meet with the family I had never met:
N O R M A L
I talked with the Funeral Director for any additional information about the Person:
N O R M A L
He told me the reason the family asked for someone they had never met to conduct the services of their loved one:
M E
Was because the family’s minister, when called by the Funeral Director to ask about his availability for the service told the Director that the Deceased had not paid his Church Pledge and he would be glad to conduct the Services FOR $650.00 because the HE IS RUNNING A BUSINESS AND NOT A CHARITY. . .
ALL OF MY BUTTONS GOT PUSHED/JAMMED simultaneously
ALL OF MY BELLS AND WHISTLES screamed
ALL OF MY FLAGS went high up/off the Poles
ALL OF MY LIGHTS went Red Flashing
ALL OF MY WEAKEST LINKS snapped
E V E R Y T H I N G
I despise about Organized Religion
went off like an ongoing 4th of July Firework Session
gone amok. . .
I was way past
I N C E N S E
a n d straight to the dark heart of
I N C E N S E D
and then we were in the service
and his friend stood up and Eulogized him so perfectly
and it h i t me:
I am not THE CARING CATALYST. . .
but I am A CARING CATALYST
and as it turns out
a not so perfect Caring Catalyst. . .
T R U T H:
I A M P E R F E C T L Y I M P E R F E C T
and one of the Biggest Hypocrites I’ve ever known. . .
Here I am espousing all of this
Peace on Earth
Goodwill
Forgive
Give no matter what
All of this:
and even more of
and dashes and doses of
and pinches of
I come to RE-DISCOVER:
I A M P E R F E C T L Y I M P E R F E C T
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
So is everyone E l s e. . .
E V E R Y O N E
P E R I O D
I on/off stewed
I on/off complained
I on/off retold
I on/off obsessed
over this
all-too-live-all-too-real-button-pushing-bell-whistle-blowing-red-light-blaring
s t o r y
and this poor excuse of a Caring Catalyst
who is most
P E R F E C T L Y I M P E R F E C T
came to this humble-less-than-ever-honest-with-himself:
S E R V E T H E U N D E S E R V I N G
o r
S E R V E N O O N E
No
if’s
an’s
but’s
or’s
unless’s
excepts
until’s
Join me
You Perfectly Imperfects
JOIN ME
JOIN ME, JOIN ME, JOIN ME, JOIN ME, JOIN ME, JOIN ME, JOIN ME, JOIN ME, JOIN
m e
Let’s be Pieces of the Puzzle
who come together
and become better as
ONE
than we could ever be
by our PERFECTLY IMPERFECT SELVES
SERVING THE UNDESERVING
. . .THAT’S not so much thinking out of the box. . .
IT’S O B L I T E R A T I N G IT
And the Biggest Discovery Since one of Columbus’s might be
Let your Imperfect YOU
J O I N
My Imperfect ME
The SERVED
is not always the DESERVED. . .
LET’S SERVE THEM ANYWAY
C O M M E R C I A L S
. . .DO YOU LIKE THEM?
Q U I C K:
What’s your Favorite Commerical?
What’s the Commercial you dislike the most?
It’s hard watching your favorite TV Show
It’s hard watching a Sporting Event
It’s hard flipping through television at any time and not getting caught by one;
But hold on there
Caring Catalysts
the Stats are out:
Though marketers probably don’t want to think about it, Americans really don’t like advertising very much. A 2012 survey by Mancx found that advertising is a big complaint about the internet (54 percent of those surveyed think there are too many ads), and a Gallup survey found that 37 percent of people have a negative view of the advertising industry overall. A Harris poll conducted last summer found that millennials—that darling group that every advertiser is courting—are especially ad-averse: seventy-four percent object to being singled out by brands in their social media feeds, and a whopping 56 percent have quit a social media site just to get away from the ads.
So it’s worth pointing out a finding by a just-released study from the Burson-Marsteller Fan Experience (BMFE): fifty-three percent of Americans say they’d be disappointed if the Super Bowl went commercial free—and that number is actually up 5 percent from last year.
Setting aside that a commercial-free Super Bowl is probably never going to happen, think about what that means: Could the Big Game possibly be the only time of year that people actually want to stare at advertising?
“Yes, without a doubt,” said BMFE chair Jason Teitler—and there’s a reason, he adds. “People want to see what the brands are doing because it constitutes entertainment.”
Another way of putting this: Most ads that Americans encounter these days—from pop-ups to pre-rolls to sponsored tweets—are usually not fun. But Super Bowl ads usually are, so watching them doesn’t feel like the poke in the shoulder that ads so often are.
BMFE’s findings (drawn from a sample group of 1,000 Super Bowl fans) mirror some of those revealed last summer by HubSpot Research. HubSpot polled 1,055 consumers and learned that 85 percent of them believed “not all ads are bad,” yet many people found advertising to be intrusive, unprofessional, or even insulting to their intelligence.
Another key finding of BMFE’s survey: Not only do Americans generally enjoy watching Super Bowl spots, they wish brands would quit releasing them days or even weeks before the game.
“We found a lot of people who’d prefer to see the ads for the first time during the game,” Teitler said. “They want the surprise factor.” If a brand is going to drop $5 million for a “big punch,” he said, “why not do it in the biggest way possible?”
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. . .
Still not a big fan, you?
But in many ways,
though we might not like them a whole
Our day to day
L I F E
is in full-out-right-in-search
of a Commercial Break. . .
Hence,
we go to dinner
we go to the movies
we go to concerts
we got to play
we go on vacations
we go to museums
we go to galleries
we go shopping
WE GO. . .
Maybe the
U L T I M A T E C O M M E R C I A L
is the one advertising
what it BEGS us to buy
Maybe the Utmost Commercial of all
is the one that touts
is the one that urges
is the one that illustrates
is the one that inspires
is the one that motivates
us to
G I V E
(for free with no motive to receive or benefit)
S T O P
D o n ‘ t t o u c h
T H A T
c h a n n e l
It was an early Saturday morning
at Ames Family Hospice House
an Inpatient Unit for
Hospice of Western Reserve;
I was meeting a group of under graduate students from
Case Western Reserve University
to talk with them about
End of Life Issues
Death/Dying
and what Hospice means
and could mean for them in their life times.
It’s a tour I have conducted with Dr. Maryjo Prince-Paul,
their Professor for the last three years,
an excellent Educator/Informer
A former Certified Hospice Nurse
and an even better Friend. . .
I had just began talking with the students
having asking them to tell me
Their names
Their majors
Their Reason for taking this class;
Dr Prince-Paul asked me to share a few
Hospice Stories
of which I have a Memory Field of them:
Sad
Happy
Near-death experiences
Spiritual and Emotional
and all of the Psycho-Social dynamics
intermeshed into the fabric of these
death and dying issues. . .
I noticed as I was talking to these students
before the tour of the facility
a man walked into the back of the community living room
we had gathered
and sat, drinking his coffee;
THEN IT HAPPENED. . .
I asked the students if they had any questions
and Dr. Prince-Paul if she had any further comments
before we began the tour
and this brother of a patient at the inpatient Unit
stood with his hand raised and asked if he could make a comment;
Out all the tours and talks I had ever presented since beginning my
Hospice career in 1994,
this had never happened. . .
He began with:
“LISTEN TO WHAT THIS MAN IS TELLING YOU”
He continued by stating that he has seen death up close and personal
having served three tours in Vietnam
but seeing his younger brother dying of brain cancer
was an indescribable tour he’d never thought he’d have to journey;
he went on the praise
without urging/prompting
what an unbelievable healing experience this had been for he
and his other family members
who no longer could effectively take care of his brother
like the inpatient unit was now doing;
most valuably allowing them to be
FAMILY MEMBERS
to their brother, the patient
instead of Caregivers.
After speaking for nearly ten minutes
of which he had a very engaged and captive audience,
Dr Prince-Paul asked him his name:
“J o h n”
He apologized for ‘butting’ in;
but we thanked him for
TEACHING US ALL
what a lecture
what a book
what a class
what a measly tour
could never promise
or deliver:
AUTHENTIC, HONEST, HEARTFELT, MEANINGFUL
T E S T I M O N Y
J o h n
spoke from his heart
and we each heard with ours. . .
I couldn’t have hit a secret remote control button
that could have made it any more timely;
that could have made it any more significant. . .
My take away
no doubt was different than the students
that gathered together on that early Saturday morning. . .
As a veteran hospice employee
he taught me out of our vast resources
and our willingness to use and
our expertise to implement them
It’s not that it’s NOT
Music Therapy
It’s not that it’s NOT
Art Therapy
It’s not that it’s NOT
Our Particular Sounds
It’s not that it’s not our Surroundings and Perspectives
And not even so much as the Story
that needs Sharing
still untold/unwritten
So much as a Willingness
to give that VOICE
An open Ear
A P L A T F O R M. . .
To be A Caring Catalyst
is to be the Hearer of THAT Story
Are you THAT Person?
I told dozens of stories
that morning
but it’s the one that I heard
(and now re-tell)
that was experienced
the most. . .
“You’re young,” John told the group.
“You have your whole lives in front of you,” he continued; “that you are here this morning to learn; that you’re here to do something great with your lives for others is good.”
Thank you,
Professor John
for writing on a previously blank page of our books
that which will never be blank again;
nor will the pages we now will write following. . .
Amazing, isn’t it?
. . .There’s one thing to Seeing a Wave;
. . .There’s another thing to Catching a Wave;
. . .There’s another thing to Being a Wave;
. . .There’s another thing to SHARING A WAVE;
Just like it’s one thing to impact a person
and quite another to
EXPERIENCE THE INFLUENCE. . .
Strive to do both. . .
(often)
A Guest Lecturer
showed me it could be done
and in the process,
uncovered an UN-TRUTH:
WHEN YOU HELP ANOTHER, YOU HELP YOURSELF
L I E !
When you help another,
You help even many more than
T H A T O T H E R;
with all of the RIPPLES and WAVES their Shores touch;
And all the Waves and Ripples of Shores
EMANATING FROM YOUR’S. . .
It’s an never-ending TSUNAMI
of Unbelievable Kindness. . .
G E T S O A K E D
Illustration by Pete Ryan for TIME
Jamie Ducharme recently posted an article in
TIME MAGAZINE
that argued the universal controversial point of:
If a long life is what you’re after,
going to church may be the answer to your prayers. . .
A number of studies have shown associations between attending religious services and living a long time. One of the most comprehensive, published in JAMA Internal Medicine in 2016, found that women who went to any kind of religious service more than once a week had a 33% lower chance than their secular peers of dying during the 16-year study-follow-up period. Another study, published last year in PLOS One, found that regular service attendance was linked to reductions in the body’s stress responses and even in mortality–so much so that worshippers were 55% less likely to die during the up to 18-year follow-up period than people who didn’t frequent the temple, church or mosque.
Jamie went on to further say:
You don’t have to become a nun to get these health benefits, however. The simple act of congregating with a like-minded community might deserve much of the credit. Tyler VanderWeele, one of the authors of the JAMA study and a professor of epidemiology at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, says factors related to churchgoing–like having a network of social support, an optimistic attitude, better self-control and a sense of purpose in life–may account for the long-life benefits seen in his study and others.
Indeed, it’s also the values drawn from religious tradition–such as “respect, compassion, gratitude, charity, humility, harmony, meditation and preservation of health”–that seem to predict longevity, not the dogma preached at the altar, says Howard Friedman, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, and co-author of the book The Longevity Project.
But what if organized religion isn’t your style? Can solo prayer–or even a more abstract sense of faith or spirituality–provide the same payoff?
It’s difficult to say with certainty, because going to church is easier to measure than the intimate, individual way a person might practice religion. And the research on praying has been mixed. Some studies have found that prayer can improve disease outcomes and prolong survival, while others have been less conclusive. One 2006 study published in the American Heart Journal even found that people who knew they were being prayed for before undergoing heart surgery were more likely to experience complications than people who didn’t know whether they were in others’ prayers.
But prayer has been shown to be powerful, in at least one way. It triggers the relaxation response, a state of mind-body rest that has been shown to decrease stress, heart rate and blood pressure; alleviate chronic disease symptoms; and even change gene expression. This state is typically linked to activities like meditation and yoga, and research suggests it can also be found through praying.
Given that uncertainty and the accumulating evidence supporting communal religious participation, VanderWeele says solitary practitioners might want to consider congregating every once in a while.
“Might you be missing out on something–the power of religion and spirituality–by not participating communally?” VanderWeele says. “That’s not saying, ‘You should have religious beliefs to live longer.’ That’s saying,
‘You already hold these beliefs.
Maybe it would be worthwhile to consider communal participation.’”
This appears in the February 26, 2018 issue of TIME.
S O M E T I M E S
what we
T H I N K
and what we
K N O W
are two different
U N I V E R S E S
that never really ever meet
on the obscure
C O N T I N E N T
of the not very often enough visited
E X P E R I E N C E
But what you know
what you know you know
what you’d bet your life
that you know. . .
we least
A C T
like we know
L I F E
is often
a metaphor
a simile
but rarely a
R E A L I Z E D R E A L I T Y
HOME
HEAVEN
HELL
are not PO BOX Addresses
or Destinations
. . .they’re not even
dreams
illusions
or realities
. . .they are our
c h o i c e s
choices with consequences
. . .s o. . .
G O T O H E L L
you might be surprised by the trip
you might be surprised by the destination
you might be surprised by the
H E L L O F I T