The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

DOG DAYS

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Here’s More Proof That Your Dog Really

                          Does Love You

D  O  G      D  A  Y  S
because it’s getting to that TIME
of the Summer;
THE  TRUTH:
EVERY  DAY  IS  A  DOG  DAY
(If you want to be healthier than healthy)
This past week, Time Magazine’s Jamie Ducharme wrote that:
Most dog owners would do just about anything for their pups. And a new study says the feeling may be mutual.

Plenty of research has shown that dogs respond to signs of their owner’s distress, such as crying, but it hasn’t been clear to what extent pups will try to make their owners feel better. A paper published Tuesday in the journal Learning & Behavior, however, suggests that “dogs will actually take an action trying to alleviate that distress,” says Julia Meyers-Manor, an assistant professor of psychology at Ripon College in Wisconsin and a co-author of the study. The results suggest that your pooch may empathize with and care for you even more than you know.

The researchers ran an experiment with 34 dog-owner pairs from the Twin Cities area in Minnesota. The dogs were of a variety of breeds and ranged from 1.5 to 12 years old.

Each of the owners sat in a small room, closed off from his or her dog by a door. The door, which had a window that allowed dogs to see their owners, was fastened to its frame by magnets, so dogs of any size could push it open.

To test how dogs would respond to suffering, half of the owners were instructed to say the word “help” in a distressed tone of voice every 15 seconds, making crying noises in between. The other half said “help” in an emotionless tone, and hummed “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” between words. The researchers then observed how many of the dogs made an attempt to open the door to be with their owner.

Roughly half of the dogs ended up opening the door — but there was no significant difference between dogs who heard their owners crying versus humming. So does that mean dogs have no empathy?

Not necessarily. While about the same number of dogs in each group opened the door, dogs responding to owner distress did so much faster — after an average of 23 seconds, compared to almost 96 seconds in the humming group. Among dogs who did open the door, those who scored highly on a separate owner bond test, which involved measuring how much a pet gazed at its person during a frustrating situation, tended to open the door quickly, signifying that dogs who feel attached to their owners want to help.

“Some of this was that dogs want to be with their people,” Meyers-Manor says. “But they want to be with their people even quicker if the person is crying than if they’re humming.”

The findings also suggest some solace for people whose dogs did not open the door. The dogs in the crying group showed significantly more signs of distress — including pacing, panting and whining — than pooches in the control group, suggesting that they may have been too anxious or upset to complete the task. “That tells us that no one should be concerned if their dog doesn’t open the door if they’re crying,” says co-author Emily Sanford, a doctoral candidate in psychology at Johns Hopkins University. “It might be that they love you too much.”

“There are some people who just don’t have as strong empathy toward other people,” Sanford says. “So we are not surprised at all to find that there’s a range in other species besides our own.”

And while the study exposed some interesting new findings about canine behavior, Meyers-Manor says one thing remained constant: Each owner thought his or her pet was a very good dog.

“Immediately after we finished each person-and-dog combo, almost every one of them would sit and explain how their dog really would rescue them,” she laughs. “That happened whether they were in the control group and humming, or crying. Everyone wanted to tell us how much their dog would actually help.”

THE  TAKE  AWAY FOR

C A R I N G   C A T A L Y S T ‘ S:

If a dog can show

compassion
empathy
kindess
caring
love

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.           .          .

what  about  mutts like  us?

When it comes to

O    U     R

COMPASSION
EMPATHY
KINDNESS
CARING
LOVE

it’s way past time for our BARK

to be much more ferocious

O U R   B I T E,

much more lethal.         .         .

WHAT SAY YOU:

S  P  E  A  K

b e t t e r       s t i l l :

H                    E                    A                    L

NO RESERVATIONS

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What does it take to build a world-class French restauraunt? What if the staff is almost entirely men and women just out of prison? What if most have never cooked or served before, and have barely two months to learn their trade? Knife Skills follows the hectic launch of Edwins restaurant in Cleveland. In this improbable setting, with its mouth-watering dishes and its arcane French vocabulary, we discover the challenges of men and women finding their way after their release. We come to know three trainees intimately, as well as the restaurant’s founder, who is also dogged by his past. These men and women all have something to prove, and all struggle to launch new lives, an endeavor as pressured and perilous as the ambitious restaurant launch of which they are a part.          .          .

Sounds like a typical  well-seasoned  tagline for a film, huh?

But what takes a thought  to a  feeling  is
A N    E X P E R I ENCE

A couple of friends of ours pitched us going to an event that would show KNIFE SKILLS in Medina this past week, where a copy of EDWINS has just opened in Medina called, SERENITE

When I shook hands with  Brandon Chrostowski (he greeted us all at the door inside of the theater) before the Oscar nominated Documentary began, it immediately felt more personal than professional.   It didn’t take very long during this short film to figure out.     .     .to actually be inspired and  slightly embarrassed  that what Brandon is actually

DOING  WE  ALL  COULD  BE  DOING  WITHOUT  HESITATION  OR
R  E  S  E  R  V  A  T  I  O  N  S
( P   U   N        I   N   T   E   N   D   E   D )

In one way or another we not only have all been imprisoned but are still behind bars of unlocked cells

 WE EACH POSSESS IN US THE CAPACITY TO NOT JUST UNLOCK THE CELL DOORS OF OTHERS BUT ACTUALLY TAKE THOSE VERY DOORS
 (real and imagined)
from their very hinges.       .       .

No one deserves a second chance.          .          .

N O   O N E.             .             .

So  much  as  the  countless  ones  very  much  needed  after  those  very second,  third,  fourth,  forty-PLUS  c h a n c e s.           .          .

This evening wasn’t so much of an opportunity to GIVE so much as one to RECEIVE and more.          .         .not a night to contribute or to allow for THOSE CHANCES so much as a vulnerable MOMENT
TO BE THAT CHANCE
for Another.          .          .
And make no mistake about your RESERVATIONS ~~it’ll not just COST YOU~~it’ll literally change you forever

Sometimes the most expensive thing we can ever do, isn’t to write a sizable check(donation)

It’s not even to Care or be Compassionate

B            U            T
to Care
to be Compassionate
to be Kind
to be Forgiving
 O       N       G       O       I       N       G

especially    when    it’s    less    than    perfect

NO   GUARANTEES

and more:

N O   R E S E R V A T I O N S

You up for that DISH?
If you read this far and still interested,
FEEL  FREE
(literally)
To view the truly inspiring/motivating film
“Knife Skills”  an Academy Award nomination in the category of Documentary Short Subject.
https://youtu.be/U7cW60vhP4Y

The Best Priests

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(Photo by Dr. Kevin Dieter)

The best things aren’t THINGS

and the Best Priests aren’t Priests at all.          .           .

I wasn’t looking for it Wednesday night

but IT

found me

and quite a few others, I imagine.          .         .

Here’s hoping that this little blog post will do its part

in helping it find countless others who are not

actively seeking

and finding treasure

just the same.          .          .

Like so many these past couple of weeks, I’ve been captivated by the NOW SUCCESSFUL rescue efforts of the daring divers who saved 12 soccer boys and their coach from a flooded cave.          .          .

I wasn’t there

I assisted no one

I offered no extended hand

Gave no money

but

I prayed;

sent up humble well meaning good intentions

along with countless others

and like those countless others

felt deep relief

felt a warm gratitude;

f                e                l                t

but Dr. Dieter summed it up better than any CNN, Fox News Reporter and certainly much better than my meager blog post when he wrote in his Face Book post on Wednesday night, July 10, 2018:

People of different nations, differing faith traditions, different “military forces”…all PRAYING to their version of God…working together, despite differences, to risk their lives and spend time and treasure to do GOOD…
The mission leaders today acknowledging that they expected failure, the odds were too great…
BUT…the forecasted rains did not come…the pump that kept much of the water out of the caves did not fail until the last of the heroes were out of danger…
The one life lost, I suspect, felt honored as a Seal to give his life for his comrades and the lives of 12 boys and their brave coach…he did not have to take a life to save lives…
Prayer. Trust. Community.

Dr. Kevin Dieter is an awesome Hospice doctor who is more Pastoral and Priestly than I will ever fully be as a Hospice chaplain of nearly a quarter of a century and counting.  Kevin, like so many Housekeeping, Home Health Aids, Nurses, Nurse Practitioners, Social Workers, Expressive Therapists, Bereavement Coordinators do a much better job at my job than I do, mostly because it’s not expected or suspected of them; they do more than I can or will ever do mostly because they are in places and better still, AT  THE  PLACES in the lives of those THEY  SERVE than I will ever be;

THEIR’S is a sacred work without Vestments, Testaments, Hymnals, Rosaries, Liturgies, Incense or Anointing Oils.    .      .

THEIR’S is a healing potion of magical PRESENCE that they produce merely by just SHOWING UP (and not leaving even when they are not physically present)

THEIR’S is a Holy Work that seeks not and often finds no renumeration, special thanks or much recognition

THEIR’S is a Country without borders you already reside but seldom recognize

THEIR’S is a Sanctuary without walls where all are welcomed and better,

h                    e                    a                    l                    e                    d

and   I

like so many, many innumerable others

am a humble beneficiary

m  e  n  d  e  d

by their kindness

r e m e d i e d

by their compassion

r e s t o r e d

by their empathy

enough to recognize that

this blessed beggar

is inspired to not only show

but bring other petitioners

T   H   A   T

same healing presence

LET    THIS    BE    YOUR    ORDINATION    DAY

for   a   world   that seeks your

w a r m h e a r t e d n e s s

G    I     V     E

T   H   E    M

THEIR    EXPERIENCE
(o  f  t  e  n)

I WONDER

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I             W     O     N     D     E     R

I wonder what motivates you.          .          .

I wonder what motivates me.          .          .

I wonder if I’m more motivated by the FEAR of Failure

I wonder if I’m more motivated by the FEAR of Success

I wonder if GOALS are a nice way to postpone the inevitable

I wonder if I planned to FAIL,  I would be 100% Successful

I wonder Why

I wonder WHY NOT

I wonder if you’re still reading

I wonder what you’re doing if you’re not

I wonder if you watched the whole 12 minute plus video

I wonder if you became even a little bit motivated

I wonder if you became shamed over someone else’s motivation/success

I wonder if you’re still reading

I wonder if you’re not

I             W     O     N     D     E     R

THE IMPOSTER’S SYNDROME

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YOUR  TRUE  COLORS .           .          .

Did you ever feel like they weren’t

Y O U R    T R U E    C O L O R S

and just a

Mess on a Canvas.          .          .

Have you ever felt like you don’t belong?

Like your friends or colleagues are going to discover you’re a fraud,

and you don’t actually deserve your job and accomplishments?

If so, you’re in good company.        .          .

These feelings are known as impostor syndrome, or what psychologists often call impostor phenomenon. An estimated 70% of people experience these impostor feelings at some point in their lives, according to a review article published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science. Impostor syndrome affects all kinds of people from all parts of life: women, men, medical students, marketing managers, actors and executives.

What    is    impostor    syndrome ?

Impostor syndrome—the idea that you’ve only succeeded due to luck, and not because of your talent or qualifications—was first identified in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes. In their paper, they theorized that women were uniquely affected by impostor syndrome.

Since then, research has shown that both men and women experience impostor feelings, and Clance published a later paperacknowledging that impostor syndrome is not limited to women. (She also created an impostor syndrome test.) Today, impostor syndrome can apply to anyone “who isn’t able to internalize and own their successes,” says psychologist Audrey Ervin.

Impostor syndrome expert Valerie Young, who is the author of a book on the subject, The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, has also found patterns in people who experience impostor feelings:

  • “Perfectionists” set extremely high expectations for themselves, and even if they meet 99% of their goals, they’re going to feel like failures. Any small mistake will make them question their own competence.
  • “Experts” feel the need to know every piece of information before they start a project and constantly look for new certifications or trainings to improve their skills. They won’t apply for a job if they don’t meet all the criteria in the posting, and they might be hesitant to ask a question in class or speak up in a meeting at work because they’re afraid of looking stupid if they don’t already know the answer.
  • When the “natural genius” has to struggle or work hard to accomplish something, he or she thinks this means they aren’t good enough. They are used to skills coming easily, and when they have to put in effort, their brain tells them that’s proof they’re an impostor.
  • “Soloists” feel they have to accomplish tasks on their own, and if they need to ask for help, they think that means they are a failure or a fraud.
  • “Supermen” or “superwomen” push themselves to work harder than those around them to prove that they’re not impostors. They feel the need to succeed in all aspects of life—at work, as parents, as partners—and may feel stressed when they are not accomplishing something.
Why    do    people    experience    impostor    syndrome ?

There’s no single answer. Some experts believe it has to do with personality traits—like anxiety or neuroticism—while others focus on family or behavioral causes, Ervin explains. Sometimes childhood memories, such as feeling that your grades were never good enough for your parents or that your siblings outshone you in certain areas, can leave a lasting impact. “People often internalize these ideas: that in order to be loved or be lovable, ‘I need to achieve,’” says Ervin. “It becomes a self-perpetuating cycle.”

This is especially true “whenever you belong to a group for whom there are stereotypes about competence,” Young adds, including racial or ethnic minorities, women in STEM fields or even international students at American universities.

How   to   deal   with   impostor   syndrome

One of the first steps to overcoming impostor feelings is to acknowledge the thoughts and put them in perspective. “Simply observing that thought as opposed to engaging it” can be helpful, says Ervin. “We can help teach people to let go and more critically question those thoughts. I encourage clients to ask ‘Does that thought help or hinder me?’”

You can also reframe your thoughts. Young says she reminds people that the only difference between someone who experiences impostor syndrome and someone who does not is how they respond to challenges. “People who don’t feel like impostors are no more intelligent or competent or capable than the rest of us,” Young says. “It’s very good news, because it means we just have to learn to think like non-impostors.” Learning to value constructive criticism, understanding that you’re actually slowing your team down when you don’t ask for help, or remembering that the more you practice a skill, the better you will get at it can all help.

Most people experience moments of doubt, and that’s normal. The important part is not to let that doubt control your actions, says Young. “The goal is not to never feel like an impostor. The goal for me is to give [people] the tools and the insight and information to talk themselves down faster,” she says. “They can still have an impostor moment, but not an impostor life.”

It’s true, huh.          .          .

The only day we may truly celebrate everyday of the year is

H        A        L        L        O        W        E        E        N

but it’s not always

TRICK OR TREAT,

is   it.          .          .

H          O          W          E          V          E          R

The  T R I C K

is  ultimately  discovering  that

Y       O       U              A     R     E

T       H       E                  T       R       E       A       T
(just as you are.     .     .NO  FOOLING)

Especially when you feel

You’re   Just   a   SHADOW   of

 Y          O          U          R          S          E          L          F

 

LOVED TO DEATH

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The line has stuck with me for well over

E I G H T E E N      Y E A R S.     .     .

and I suspect for the rest of my life as a father;

Did you hear it?

Is it one of your favorite lines, too,

in the SHADOW  OF  FATHER’S  DAY.          .          .

“YOUR   FLAWS   AS   A   SON   ARE   MY   FAILURES   AS   A   FATHER.”

S E R I O U S L Y:

Have you ever thought,

“IF I WAS A BETTER PARENT, maybe my children would be better, not suffered as much”

Yes, I have suffered many little deaths along the way as any dad would/does.     .       .      Children always have a way of ripping your heart out without a scalpel and tramping   on your aorta; watching it as flutters, sputters blood and seamlessly stops
beating by either what they say/do or don’t say or do.      .     .But my father’s heart has never stopped loving, never stop caring, never stop giving, and I believe it’s what makes me who I am and who I want to continue to be.           .          .It’s hard work; it’s an endless job from which I will never retire and of which I will never seek to do so.         .          .

It wasn’t the IWatch my daughters came together and bought for me or the great playlists of songs my son compiled for me that has meaning just between he and I including, Harry Chapin’s classic, “Cats in the Cradle”

It wasn’t DONUTS WITH DAD and a great Father’s Day Service at Church.       .       .

Yes, to have the love of my children is severely precious to me but it was crowned with the visit to my dad in the Nursing Home in Washington, Pa.

With my mom, Erin and my brother Mike visiting him we had continual laughs and a constant flow of memories.       .      .including a gift that included a canvas print of his four children with my brother-in-law, Bill and my dad some 11 years ago finishing a half-marathon

I wheeled him down for dinner ahead of my brother, mom and Erin and while I put a ‘man-bib’ (MIB) around his neck I leaned down and whispered in his ear, “I can’t ever remember you and I sitting down and having a ‘father and son’ talk; dad I don’t ever remember you lecturing me; but what has always meant the most to me, especially now, is that we never had that talk, and never had to; you didn’t tell me how to live, dad; YOU LIVED, AND LET ME WATCH YOU DO IT and I can’t tell you how that has shaped my life and literally made me who I am.  I love you to death.       .        .” and I hugged him, hugged him not as hard as Commodus in GLADIATOR, but enough

e         n         o         u         g         h

and made sure we both had a new and lasting

m e m o r y

.          .         .I hope you had as good of a day, yesterday

and more

inspired to have a few more good days, holidays included,

along the way.          .          .

May your greatest memories be those

Y  O  U      H  A  V  E

yet to create
(and then some)

 

 

X-RAY of the SOUL

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And so there it is.            .
.
My poor left knee.          .          .

Most likely more than you wanted or needed to see, huh.          .          .

And yet it shows the painful truth that at nearly

6  3

I have arthritis

and I am bone on bone

because of all the years of running;

Hmmmmmm and here I thought I was actually taking care of myself.       .       .

It wasn’t the 8 marathons

so much the

T R A I N I N G

for the 8 marathons

AND ffter having a really rough time getting in and out of a car

climbing up and down stairs

getting out of a chair

or even walking comfortably

I finally

with the advice of my family doctor

went to see in orthopedic surgeon.      .     .

He confirmed what  my knees were screaming:

‘your knees maybe nearly 63 years of age but they look like a 95-year-old man’s.          .          .

O            U            C            H

~~Literally~~O U C H
.        .        . after talking and confirming the obvious

we talk different plans and maybe different interventions

The least invasive was

getting a Cortizone shot
(It was painless)

and even more so

before I actually got off the examination table

I was pain-free for the first time in 3+ years.           .          .

I           N           C           R           E           D           I           B           L           E
It  kind of got me to thinking though.       .       .

if I can take a shot for something like this

and alleviate this physical pain

that I have Night and day

and worsened under certain conditions.            .            .

Is there such a shot intervention for the pain in the

S      O      U      L.          .          .


I believe there is.          .          .

I believe you’ve experienced that

I believe without going to a physician

or counselor

you can have that even at this very second;

I believe it can last longer than three weeks

or three months or

possibly even six months at its best.          .          .

I believe it has no downside

no side effects

and the only bad reaction

is limited to how often I apply

or take the treatment/intervention/therapy.        .        .

It’s the most effective,
least evasive,
absolutely cheapest,

without a doubt the best guaranteed treatment available.          .          .

In fact it not only what makes a soul,

A  SOUL
But it’s also what

D     E     F     I     N     E     S          I     T :

C           O           M           P            A           S           S           I          O          N

If it were possible to take an x-ray of the soul

each and everyone

would contain this element of compassion
and the only obstacle would be  how we dispense it
and how often we do.         .        .

And this is where we believe the  L  I  E  S :

COMPASSION can only be dispensed very sparingly or else it will cease to be compassion

or very effective compassion.             .
.
THAT
Every once in a while compassion is all that’s needed

not each time or one time but every time.           .          .

The shot of compassion normally does another soul good

but
E          S          P          E          C          I          A          L          L          Y

THE  O N E   S O U L

which dispenses it even better with greater effects.           .          .

THIS  COMPASSION

(GIVEN)

absolutely has no limit;

no shelf life

no expiration date

W             H             E             N

GIVEN and RECEIVED

f             r             e             e             l             y

not just magical

but miraculous things

take place to both the Giver and the Receiver

The   B A D     N E W S :

T               H               A               T

Will never show up on an x-ray
or an MRI
or a blood test;

there will never really be a device
a mechanism
and instrument

that’ll ever be able to measure
I  T
but there won’t be a device
and instrument
a mechanism
that will ever be able to deny it.           .          .

Some of this out giving

Of   C O M P A S S I O N

from your soul to another soul

may not be able to be completely measured;

B          U          T

it will be absolutely

unequivocally

undeniably

not just received

but wonderfully

E           X           P           E           R           I           E           N           C           E          D

Uhhhhhhhh, Yeah.          .          .

I don’t want to shot of that

(I  WANT  AN  OVER  DOSE)

Pssssssssssssssbsssst,  R E M E M B E R:

Pay Attention, Class:

The PROOF is in the GIVING

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Our Brains Are Wired To Give…

“Suppose you could be hooked up to a hypothetical “experience machine” that, for the rest of your life, would stimulate your brain and give you any positive feelings you desire. Most people to whom I offer this imaginary choice refuse the machine. It is not just positive feelings we want: we want to be entitled to our positive feelings.” — Dr. Martin Seligman

In 2014, a study led by neuroscientist Molly J. Crocket shed light on how much humans care about others relative to themselves. The results were surprising. They showed that, on average, people were willing to pay twice as much money to prevent someone else receiving an electric shock than the amount of money they would pay to prevent receiving the same amount of shock themselves.

At first, the conclusions seem puzzling. How does this fit with our survival bias, our innate sense of self-protection in the face of danger? A little experiment may help us understand this apparent contradiction.

In the next few days, do the following two things:

  1. Something fun.
  2. Something altruistic.

Plan both events and write about how you think doing those two different acts will make you feel. Then, immediately after completing the two activities, write down how you actually feel. At the end of the day, write down how you feel again, long after both events happened.

More likely than not, the high of doing something fun will last for a little bit and then fade away. It is a satisfaction that consumes itself shortly after the activity ends. If you go to the cinema and you enjoyed the movie, you will feel good after leaving the premises, but you won’t carry that feeling much longer after that.

However, if you perform a random act of kindness the feeling-good effect will endure for hours after the event happened. Try helping someone who can’t help you back; do it anonymously, or listening to someone in need. Or donating to a cause you truly believe in. The positive feelings stemming from the altruistic act will last for a long time after the event happened.

… And Positive Psychology Knows Why

Positive psychology is the field behind the scientific theory of happiness. Not so long ago, psychology focused only on helping troubled minds go back to a healthy state; Patients suffering from depression and other mental disorders. It sought to bring these patients back from “-10 to 0” on the well-being scale.

Positive psychology, on the other hand, looks to answer the question “what can make a healthy mind thrive?”. It looks scientifically into how we can go from “0 to +10” on the well-being scale. The father of positive psychology is Dr. Martin Seligman, author of books like “Authentic Happiness” and “Learned Optimism” and the founder of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania.

After years of research, he came up with 5 core pillars that act as the infrastructure to our psychological well-being and happiness. It is called the PERMA model:

  • P for Positive Emotion: feeling good, optimism, pleasure and enjoyment.
  • E for Engagement: doing fulfilling work, having exciting hobbies, immersing oneself in a sense of “flow”.
  • R for Relationships: deep social connections, love, intimacy, emotional and physical interaction with others.
  • M for Meaning: having a purpose in life.
  • A for Accomplishment: setting and pursuing goals, realizing your ambition, living with a sense of achievement.

You can experience all of these in a single act of giving, whether it’s sharing a meal with a friend or donating a large sum to a good cause.

Why   Giving   Fulfills   Us

Giving adds to our lives in many different ways, but is also exactly in line with the PERMA model.

  • When we give, we generate positive emotions. This, among other things, triggers a physical reaction: the release of dopamine. This hormone is secreted by the brain and regulates pleasure. It also helps us create habits by stimulating the repetition of the activity that brought us pleasure in the first place, over and over again.
  • Giving also helps us make our relationships more engaging. It enhances the quality of our interactions with others. To receive the appreciation of someone we have just helped is not only rewarding at an individual level, but also a powerful way to cement our social bond with that person.

However, giving goes well beyond facilitating positive emotions or better interactions with others. It can become a profound driver of our success in life, by contributing directly to the meaning and accomplishment components of the PERMA model.

Giving   As   Purpose

In “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance” by Penn’s psychologist Angela Duckworth, I learned about Kat Cole. Cole started her career waitressing at Hooters while finishing her high school. She later rose up to become vice president of the company at age 26. Today, Kat Cole is Group President of Focus Brands, an investor, humanitarian and advisor.

Here’s her attitude on giving:

“By doing good for just one person, in just one moment, you can affect the trajectory of many things, of many lives, all over the world. Even if in some situations it’s not easy to be kind, gracious or positive, keep in mind it’s not just that moment that you are affecting, it’s many moments into the future.”

She differentiates between productive achievers and destructive achievers. As per her own description in a recent interview:

“There are a lot of people who have been incredibly successful by the typical person’s definition, financially or in terms of career acceleration, but have done it destructively, by not lifting others up and bringing them along. Then there are those who have been productive achievers, who have also brought others along with them and made a difference.”

For Cole, her giving attitude implied raising others and bringing them along in her path towards growth. A deep sense of purpose, rooted on an abundance mentality, had a significant impact on her professional success.

Happiness has to be earned. It cannot be chased. It cannot be manufactured. Happiness is about the consistency of our daily actions with our principles. The way we respond to the daily demands of life. In that context, a virtuous circle of gratitude and giving — as proven by positive psychology, the science of happiness — becomes a critical element of a fulfilling life.

And now.      .       . THE  BIG  Sooooooooooo:

Psssssssssssssssssssssssssst:

LIFE is not a zero-sum game. An abundance mindset is both possible and practical. Science has shown our brains are wired to give because they prolong positive emotions from such interactions. Positive Psychology confirms this and gives us a model we can use to become productive achievers: PERMA.

It always comes back to one simple question:
Do you have a Caring Catalyst Heart.        .        .
There’s only one way to truly answer:
G     I     V     E            I     T

E M B A R R A S S E D

By Leave a Comment

What’s your most embarrassing moment?

Can you share it and not still feel embarrassed?

How many people know about this most embarrassing moment you’ve ever had?

 Who is involved in it.          .          .

Who sought out this most embarrassing incident you ever had.       .        .

 I always thought it was when I filed for bankruptcy;

 when I got a divorce;

when I got fired from a job;

when I failed a test and was called out in front of the whole 6th grade class;

 when I wasn’t able to show up more times than not to one of my kids or grandkids activities;

 when I said the wrong hurtful thing in front of a crowd

 at my student church when I had a Huge Freudian slip and directed peoples attention to the beautiful CENTERFOLD on the piano instead of the floral CENTERPIECE PIECE;

T           R           U           T           H.           .           .

When I saw this video I became embarrassed.          .           .

I became embarrassed

because I’ve had the biggest lead in my life

and I don’t know that I’ve done much with it.          .          .

or as much as I absolutely could have done

W  I  T  H    I  T;

especially when compared to others

I’ve been light years ahead because of

M  Y       P  R  I  V  I  L  E  G  E

F               A               C             T :

I can’t think of one thing

that would be more embarrassing

literally for the rest of my life:

After seeing this small clip not been different because of it or worse living differently

Y   o   u.             .             .

Are you embarrassed,

even slightly

because, like me,

you’ve gotten this tremendous head start

and not done as much as you could/would/should have.          .          .

L  I  K  E    M  E

it doesn’t make us better RACERS

It doesn’t make us more Competitive

It doesn’t make us more Hall of Fame Champions

It  just  makes  me  Embarrassed;

Even more Embarrassed

if  it  comes  across

P            R            E            A            C            H           Y

because’s there a Scripture at the end

THAT EVERY MAJOR RELIGION

and all the minor Ones 

e s p o u s e:

L O V E      O N E     A N O T H E R
I  N     W O R D,   T A L K,    I N    D E E D,   A N D     I N    T R U T H

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.          .          .

doesn’t    that     apply    to    all    of    us.       .       .

or   is   it   too

E         M         B         A         R         R         A         S         S         I         N         G

t o    a d m i t

?

IT MAKES YOU THINK

By Leave a Comment

https://youtu.be/MWBFbYZxiBw

I love the story of a man who died and went to Heaven.          .          .

When he arrives at the Pearly Gates,

Saint Peter asks him just one simple question:

“HOW  DID  YOU  ENJOY  HEAVEN?”

Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:

D   O   N  ‘  T        W   A   I   T

Not one of us can

A  D  D

another Day to our Lives.          .          .

but there’s also not a

Single ONE of US

that can’t

I       N       C       R       E       A       S       E

more LIFE to any Day

W  E      L  I  V  E.          .          .

D          O          N   ‘   T          

W          A          I          T

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man