The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

Merry PRACTICE CHRISTMAS

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Uhhhhhhh, if you know even a little bit about me.          .          ,

It’s that I adore Christmas.          .          .

Every year

Every Season

Every Month

Every Week

Every Day

Every Minute

Every Second

OF   IT.          .          .

W           H             Y ?

Here’s   a   little   Explanation:

When   A N O T H E R

says something

better than you  could ever

u  t  t  e  r

w r i t e

r e c i t e.        .        .

Give’em the Stage

and the Microphone

and most definitely,

T H E    S P O T L I G H T

and   don’t   shut   up

so   much   as   really

L                 I                 S                 T                 E                 N :

This Henry van Dyke story is featured in our collection of Christmas Stories. and Short-Short Stories to read when you have five minutes to spare. You might enjoy his other works, The Other Wise Man and The First Christmas Tree

It is a good thing to observe Christmas day. The mere marking of times and seasons, when men agree to stop work and make merry together, is a wise and wholesome custom. It helps one to feel the supremacy of the common life over the individual life. It reminds a man to set his own little watch, now and then, by the great clock of humanity which runs on sun time.

But there is a better thing than the observance of Christmas day, and that is, keeping Christmas.

Are you willing to forget what you have done for other people, and to remember what other people have done for you; to ignore what the world owes you, and to think what you owe the world; to put your rights in the background, and your duties in the middle distance, and your chances to do a little more than your duty in the foreground; to see that your fellow-men are just as real as you are, and try to look behind their faces to their hearts, hungry for joy; to own that probably the only good reason for your existence is not what you are going to get out of life, but what you are going to give to life; to close your book of complaints against the management of the universe, and look around you for a place where you can sow a few seeds of happiness–are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.

Are you willing to stoop down and consider the needs and the desires of little children; to remember the weakness and loneliness of people who are growing old; to stop asking how much your friends love you, and ask yourself whether you love them enough; to bear in mind the things that other people have to bear on their hearts; to try to understand what those who live in the same house with you really want, without waiting for them to tell you; to trim your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke, and to carry it in front so that your shadow will fall behind you; to make a grave for your ugly thoughts, and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open–are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.

Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world–stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death–and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas.

And if you keep it for a day, why not always?

But you can never keep it alone.      

 

L                 I                S                T                E                N :

 

  Sometimes FROM A DISTANCE
We’ve never seen
what we’ve needed to seen any
  C             L              O              S              E              R
.        .        . So
Go hug a tree
Hopefully a lit Christmas Tree.          .          .
Even      if 
E         S          P          E          C          I          A          L          L          Y             I  F
It’s   a   Charlie   Brown   variety.          .          .
Bring   the   Season
TO      THE      NOW
.            .            .and     keep      I T      there!
For   an   E V E R
and   then   an
E      V      E      R           M      O      R      E

PURPOSE’d

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l

We’ve all heard

A     B     O     U     T          I     T

Before.     .     .

THE   LAW   OF   ATTRACTION

We may all have heard  about it

.        .        .maybe even believe it to be

.        .        .Maybe even have experienced it

like I did recently

with what some would call a

c o i n c i d e n c e

others,

an  a c c i d e n t

others, still:

On PURPOSE

A fulfilled-never-doubt-it’s existence-ever-again

LAW   OF   ATTRACTION.        .        .

I was to meet someone to discuss plans for an upcoming Memorial Service for his mother and he canceled at the last moment when I was already at ‘the meeting place.’   Instead of just heading home, I decided on the fly to just go across the street to get dinner since no one was at home.

A table for one

I was sat at

beside another occupied

table of one.     .     .

She was talking on her phone, sipping from her martini glass and eating from her salad plate all at the same time.        .         .

From the

E         A         S         E         D         R         O         P         P         E         D

sound  of  it–

She was making funeral arrangements as well for her father.     .     .

When she hung up the phone she looked over a my table less than two feet away and remarked,

“WOW, we’re eating and drinking the same thing,”

I smiled over at her and said,

“I hope your’s taste as good as mine,”

.         .          .now this is where it gets eerily interesting:

I began,

“Listen, I don’t mean to be rude, but I couldn’t help but hearing what sounded like you making funeral arrangements for your father.  I’m really sorry.”

“Yes.  It’s been a mess trying to get everything together and planned.  I have two sisters but we don’t get along that well; they’re both from out of town and I’ve been hear taking care of him.  I’m just trying to make everything as nice as he deserves.”

“I do well over 20 funerals a month and I can tell you that it’s really normal for people not to get along at a time like this.  It’s true–It brings out our best and sometimes, mostly, our worst.”

“Where do you do the funerals?”

“Well mostly in this general area, but I also do some in Lorain County, too.  There are a lot of people who may not have a Church home, but deserve a true celebration of their lives and that’s where I’m able to come in and help.”

She named the funeral home and day they were planning to do the Memorial Service for her father.       .        .Wednesday.        .        .

“Wednesday night, at 7:00?  I finished her sentence.        .        .

“Oh my God!  You’re the guy who’s doing my dad’s service!  I can’t believe this!”

“Yes.        .        .I’m sorry”

“Are you kidding me?  This is the greatest thing that could have ever happened to me tonight.  Ever since my dad died in the hospital a couple of days ago I’ve carried this deep pain and grief and now.       .       .”

t        e        a        r        s

“And now for the first time, I feel peace, I mean peace I’ve never felt before–ever!  It’s like he just sat down beside me right here, right now to let me know that everything’s going to be alright.”

“Everything is alright.       .       .”

“I can’t believe this.     .     .no one will ever believe this.     .     .what are the chances out of all the places either of us can be, WE ARE HERE, sitting right next to each other planning the celebration of my dad’s life especially since you were suppose to meet someone else about their mother’s service across the street?”

“I don’t believe in accidents or coincidences.  Everything’s on purpose; you believe that don’t you?”

“How can’t I?”

Well.        .        .

Do  You?

I don’t know the real definition of

THE  LAW  OF  ATTRACTION

but I do know there’s an unnamed

an unnoticed

Caring    Catalyst    Concept:

When you truly Care

When you’re truly Compassionate

You’ll need no GPS

You’ll need no gyroscope

You’ll need no compass

You’ll need no road map

You’ll need no AAA Trip-Tick

You’ll  SHOW  UP

not where you planned

not where you’re directed

but  where  you’re  needed.         .        .

such is the Caring Catalyst Concept.         .         .

a guarantee

more sure than a heart beat

and closer than your next breath.       .       .

Caring

Compassion

assures it.          .         .

See you at a table for one

 

FLASHBULB MEMORIES

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It’s simply entitled

THE FALLING MAN

WE  REMEMBER.       .       .

Don’t WE.       .       .

September 11, 2001

A   PICTURE   IS   WORTH   A   THOUSAND   WORDS.        .        .

but   we   don’t   need   photographs, 

DO  WE.        .        .

These are called

FLASHBULB   M E M O R I E S

and psychologist tell us

this is why we

r      e       m       e        m        b        e       r

exactly where we were

what we were doing

on a specific date

in history

like

September 11, 2001.        .        .

In a Flashbulb Memory,

we recall the experience of learning

about an event,

not the factual details of the event.         .        .

The idea of flashbulb memory

was first proposed in 1977 by psychologists

Roger Brown, PhD, and James Kulik, PhD,

who posited that these memories

are so emotionally important to us

that they’re laid down as vividly,

completely and accurately as a photograph.        .        .

See.       .       .

You really don’t need a photograph

even if just one is worth 10,000 words.        .       .

So weather it was with the Challenger

or the death of Princess Diane

or 9/11

or the death of a loved one.     .       .

B       U        T

It could it also involve a

FLASHBULB  MOMENT

of Happiness.          .         .

Does it forever sear

FLASHBULB MOMENTS

of pure Gratitude

Seriously.        .        .

Do you need a psychiatric opinion?

Do you need data

Scientific studies

Countless interviews

to determine

that we could

not just have the intention

not just have the audacity

not just have the gall

but actually have the awesome

second-to-none

u n i v e r s a l

C A R I N G     C A T A L Y S T

power to create

 F     L     A     S     H     B      U     L     B         M  E  M  O  R  I  E  S

in the lives of a world

of individuals

who’s eyes

are sorely in need

of a sight

of compassion

of love

of empathy

of acceptance

of forgiveness

of openness

they will not only

N E V E R   F O R G E T

but, indeed

will never stop

 E       X       P       E       R       I       E       N       C       I       N       G

So, on the count of

T        H         R        E        E

say

C                 H                 E                  E                     S                   E

O  N  E

T       W       O

T         H         R         E         E.        .       .

RSVP’d

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DO  UNTO  OTHERS.        .        .

Classic one, huh?

Every major religion espouses its simplepurity

and its essence

B            U            T.       .        .

I don’t know if

it’ll inspire me to stay at the Marriott

when given a choice

more than who gives a better coupon/discount

B               U              T.           .           .

it has already made me think

and better still

A             C            T

not  just  about  victims  of  Hurricanes  Harvey, Irma

and possibly Jose

Charlottesville, Virginia

Mexico

but the countless people

on the periphery of my life

going through their own personal

d       e       v       a       s       t       i       n       g

hurricanes

earthquakes

tsunamis

tornadoes

hate crimes

floods

that I might not be able to change

or eliminate

but being a

Caring Catalyst

enough

to even at the minimal

i m p a c t

IF  I

B   U   T

w i l l.            .          .

Y            O            U ?

Now  that’s  a reservation

we  could  all  benefit

and honor.          .          .

Turn down   that  bedspread

puff up that   pillow

                           put out    that          piece of chocolate

and be the respite

be the refuge

be the fortress

be   the   l i g h t h o u s e

that’s desperately needed

not across the world

or to parts unknown

but right beside you.        .        .

HOUSTON, We have a SOLUTION

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CARING  IS  DARING

EVERY TIME, FOR EVERY NEED, Get’s The STAR

Anyone Can be a Caring Catalyst even though it’s much easier just to say you are ONE

Sometimes, I DO. . .Most of the Time, I DON’T

S T O P:    COMPASSION  is  a  V E R B

If COMPASSION isn’t a Verb.     .     .it’s Nothing else.     .     .A useless Word!

SYMPATHY Shouts:  H E L P !
COMPASSION Answers:  HERE   I  AM

COMPASSION is always Blind and Deaf to:
IF, AND, BUT, UNLESS, UNTIL, EXCEPT, 
so that WE can be that Sightless and Un-Hearing.     .     .

SYMPATHY Whispers, “I’M  SORRY,”
COMPASSION SHOUTS, “LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND”

We don’t have to be a KNOWN Caring Catalyst
to be an EFFECTIVE Caring Catalyst.     .     .

We should all

CHUCK IT
STEVE IT
HARRY IT
SARA IT
JULIA IT
BARB IT
JOE IT
ANNE IT
SAM IT
SHELBY IT
KIRK IT
(i n s e r t     name)_____________________________IT

DO
Always Champions
D O N ‘ T

It’s  NEVER  how  much  you  Give  so  much  as  THAT  you  Give

When it’s time to RISE
don’t sit
don’t kneel
don’t sink
don’t shrink
don’t evaporate 
R     I     S     E

www.redcross.org/Disaster-Relief/Hurricane

www.unitedwayhouston.org

www.houstonfooodbank.org

www.houstonhumane.org

PAY  ATTENTION, CLASS

it  is no longer appropriate
to just be in Class.        .        .

Class is  NOT IN SESSION

HELPING
ASSISTING
GIVING
CARING

I S.         .         .

It’s YOUR  TURN

I’d   rather   have   1000   people   give   a   Penny
than   a   Million   not   give   a   damn.          .          .

BE THE CARING CATALYST

YOU’RE NEEDED TO BE.          .          .

Psssssssssssst  of  the  Day:

It’s time to stop asking questions

and start   L I V I N G     A N S W E R S.          .          .

BE   KIND   WHENEVER   POSSIBLE,
IT’S    ALWAYS    POSSIBLE.
                  Dalai  Lama

Your Sparkle

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https://youtu.be/kUFPGYVhmSs

If  your life  was  a

C         O         M         M         E         R         C         I         A         L

what  exactly  would  it  be

a d v e r t i s i n g.        .        .        ?

It’s  not  so  much  the  noticing  of

W H A T ‘ S      B E T W E E N      U S      C O N N E C T S      U S

or  even  recognizing

Y  O  U  R       S  P  A  R  K  L  E

so  much  as  just  simply

S H A R I N G    I T

.          .       .it’s  one  thing  to  be  an  empty

B      I      L      L      B      O      A      R      D

and  another  to  ever

G      I      V      E

what  no  commercial  could

ever even begin to

promise.       .      .

as a Caring Catalyst

it’s never really what’s

Y     O     U     R            S     P     A     R     K     L     E 

so  much  as

H O W

W H E N

W H E R E 

and  mostly

T     H     A     T

YOU     SHARE    IT.        .        .

Psssssssssssssssst   of   the   Day:

Why have   S P A R K L E

if   you   don’t ?

Death by LONELINESS

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Have you ever been lonely?

Do you know someone

who you believe is

L        O        N        E        L        Y.          .          .

Who would think

that  it  could  ever  be  deadly:

L          O          N          E          L          I          N          E          S          S

The latest studies

T  E  L  L

that in the United States,

about a quarter of the population lives  a l o n e;

.        .        .In fact,  RESEARCH  presented

at the 125th Annual Convention of the American Psychological Association

brings out the connection between

Loneliness and a Premature Death.       .       .

The Shocking Scoop:

Julianne Holt-Lundstad, A Professor of Psychology

at Brigham Young University

presented evidence from two meta-analyses

on the effects of social connection and  H E A L T H

The first study looked at over 148 studies

involving more than 300,000 people

and found that people with  SOCIAL CONNECTIONS

had a 50% lower risk of dying early

compared to people who did not have 

strong social circles.       .       .

The other analysis of 70 studies

found that loneliness, isolation and living alone

all had a significant effect on a person’s

risk for early death.       .       .

Holt-Lundstad said, “There  is  robust  evidence  that  social  isolation  and loneliness  significantly  increase  risk  for  premature  mortality,  and  the magnitude  of  the  risk  exceeds  that  of  many  leading  health  indicators.”

In a 2016 interview with FORTUNE,

John Cacioppo, author of

LONELINESS: HUMAN NATURE AND THE NEED FOR SOCIAL CONNECTION, 

believes that loneliness has a physical and psychological effect on people’s health:

“Loneliness  is  bad  for  your  mental  health:  Well-being  goes  down, depressive  symptoms  go  up, your  likelihood  of  developing  mental  health and  affective  disorders  increases,” Cacioppo said.       .      .

Holt-Lundstad even went further to comment,

“Indeed,  many  nations  around  the  world  now  suggest  we  are  facing  a ‘loneliness  epidemic.’   The  challenge  we  face  now  is  what  can  be  done about  it?”

Can it be this simple:

As  a  Caring  Catalyst

c  a  n

Merely   BE-FRIENDING   Some O N E

 actually   save   their   lives?

Maybe    the    deeper

more    significant    question:

ARE      YOU      WILLING      TO

L I T E R A L L Y

B  E  T      Y  O  U  R      L  I  F  E      O  N      I  T ?

.        .        .Maybe   by   erasing

L        O        N        E        L        I        N        E        S        S

from   any   O N E’ S    Life

erases   it   from   your’s.        .        .

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.              .             .

two   lives   saved

in   one   simple

c    a    r    i    n    g

a    c    t

M O R A L:

You    don’t    have    to    do    the    Study

.       .       .j u s t

B E     T H E     S T U D Y

and

p   r   o   s   p   e   r

as        you        prosper

JUST BECAUSE’D

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Have you ever done

a     n     y     t     h     i     n     g

j   u   s   t       b   e   c   a   u   s   e.     .     .

Most of the time

we stay away from the

J u s t   B e c a u s e s.         .        .

it was the answer we got when

a real answer didn’t want to be given

or worse

there really was no real answer.       .       .

or worse, still—

when the envelope was pushed too far

with the final:

B  E  C  A  U  S  E

I     S A I D     S O !

But there’s another side of the

J   U   S   T        B   E   C   A   U   S   E

coin.        .        .

A lady who attends North Royalton Christian Church,

the small Church I serve

recently received a note in the mail

with the words:

J   U   S   T        B   E   C   A   U   S   E

that wrapped around a Hundred-Dollar Bill.        .        .

the same week I received the same note

with a $25 Giant Eagle Gift Card wrapped inside.       .       .

the same day I saw a mother and her son

standing in the check out line

waiting patiently for their turn to

pay for their goods;

 mom saw her son spying

the candy rack.       .       .

when she saw him zero in on a

S N I C K E R S     B A R

she picked it up and handed it to him

with a huge smile on her face

that matched the one looking back up

and simply said:

J   U   S   T        B   E   C   A   U  S   E

It got the

Caring Catalyst

in me thinking:

“W  H  Y       N  O  T?”

.         .         .Why not go around

J U S T     B E C A U S I N G

others.        .        .        ?

It has to be more productive

more producing

more effective

than merely finding painted rocks

with an email/FaceBook address

on the back

instructing to take a pic

before placing it somewhere else

j       u       s       t

so you can see where it travels

in the to and fro.          .          .

.           .           .So while pumping gas

I saw a man

who seemed to be wearing everything he owned

walking across the parking lot and perching himself

on a chair outside of a store

letting the sun shine on his face

as he squinted skyward

sipping on a cup of McDonald’s coffee.       .       .

I walked over to him

with my $25 gift card and asked him,

“How you doing?”

His response was epic:

“Blessed   by   the   Best!”

“Well, maybe  this  can  make  the  blessing  even  better,”

He spontaneously hugged me

.       .       .thanked me.       .       .

and I thanked him for the honor of allowing me to share.          .          .

As I drove away

his face was skyward once again

s m i l i n g

arms outstretched.           .          .

Have you ever been

J   U   S   T       B   E   C   A   U   S   E  ‘  D

I  don’t  want  to  hear  about  your

F I R S T

J   U   S   T       B   E   C   A   U   S   E

e x p e r i e n c e

I want to  s e e  your

h u n d r e d     and     f i r s t.          .          .

J   U   S   T        B   E   C   A   U   S   E 

The very simple  r i p p l e

you create

is the tsunami

a single person

needs to experience.          .          .

J O I N     M E:

 

 

C A R I N G

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Is there?

Is there really a

R  I  G  H  T

or

W  R  O  N  G

way to

C     A     R     E

DO you

.            .            .do YOU

C               A                R               E  ?

If we had all of humanity

stand at one single solitary moment

and raise their hands and voices

to show that we all believed

in CARING

as a good thing.          .          .

would there be anyone not voting to make it

unanimous.            .            .            ?

Caring is a good thing,

isn’t it.     .     .     ?

It’s one of the few

the rare

o          n          e

thing

that distinguishes us

as being a good person

or a bad person.          .          .

It’s not really whether or not

we care

but maybe what

w h o

we care about

that can make

c     a     r     i     n     g

t o x i c

Sometimes

it may be caring so much

about what others think and feel

that destroys

or empowers us.       .       .

Is there a way

N   O   T

to care

e a s i l y

without  g u i l t

or  f e a r

or r e t r i b u t i o n

and still be able to care

in a most meaningful

in a very compassionate

in an extremely powerful

w   a   y.        .         .

Well.     .     .

m       a       y       b       e.       .       .

Just by realizing how not so often others don’t give us a second thought.      .       .

Just by realizing that much of any one’s reality is actually imagined.        .           .

Just by realizing that we can take things as seriously as we want.             .            .

Just by realizing that we can change anything at anytime in anyway we like.  .  .

Just by realizing that by not caring may be our greatest freedom to caring.    .    .

Can we care too much.       .       .

a b s o l u t e l y

e s p e c  i a l l y

about the wrong things

.       .       .and when we do.       .       .

HELP   YOURSELF   FIRST.    .    .SO   YOU   CAN   HELP   OTHERS  

EVERYONE’S   REPLACEABLE.    .    .SO   SEEK   OUT   THOSE   WHO APPRECIATE   YOU

NEVER   COMPROMISE   YOUR   SELF-RESPECT  OR  SELF-LOVE

DON’T   NEGOTIATE   YOUR   BORDERS   OR   BOUNDARIES

The truest of Caring Catalysts

r e c o g n i z e s

that caring too much

may well be worse

than caring not at all.         .        .

and let’s face it.       .       .

if your reading this right now

at this very moment.        .        .

you care

most  about

T          H          A          T

 

 

MERCIFULNESS

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images

Have you?

Have you ever forgiven?

Have you ever been forgiven?

Did it feel different?

Did you feel Different?

Better

Relieved

Happier

H       E       A       L       T       H       I       E      R

There’s a new study out in Journal of Health Psychology that shows being

f o r g i v i n g

M     E     R     C     I     F     U     L

to others

and even to yourself

can protect you against damaging stress

can make you

H  E  A  L  T  H  I  E  R

What’s the criteria?

Researchers took a close look at the effects of a lifetime of stress on a person’s mental health,

and just how more forgiving people fared compared to people who

weren’t so forgiving.

So they asked 148 young adults to fill our questionnaires

that assessed their levels of lifetime stress,

their tendency to forgive and their mental and physical health.

S     U     R     P     R     I     S     E

People with greater exposure to stress over their lifetimes had

w o r s e       m e n t a l       a n d       p h y s i c a l       h e a l t h

b u t

the researchers also found out that if people were highly forgiving of themselves and others

THAT  characteristic alone virtually eliminated the connection between

stress and mental illness.

Loren Toussaint, the author and Associate Professor of Psychology at Luther College in Iowa went on to say,

“It’s almost entirely erased–it’s statistically zero.   .   .If you don’t have forgiving tendencies, you feel the raw effects of stress in an unmitigated way. . .

YOU   DON’T   HAVE   ANY   BUFFER   AGAINST   THAT  STRESS.”

So does it pay?

Does it make

C     E     N     T     S ?

The best

C          H          A          N          G          E

will never jingle in your pocket

but it’ll never stop   j a n g l i n g

in your heart

Come on.     .     .

The Research

R  E  A  L          S  C  I  E  N  C  E

points to the

facts

people

C A R I N G     C A T A L Y S T S

who are more

forgiving

m e r c i f u l

adopt better coping skills

to deal with stress

or their reaction to major stressors may be dulled

Either way.     .     .

merciful people are

happier

h     e     a     l     h     i     e     r

BETTER

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man