The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

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I know I’ve posted a few times, most recently about one of my favorite Performance Poet’s, Andrea Gibson, especially since she died a about a little over a month ago on July 14, 2025.  She’s all over YouTube and for me, this most recent post of her’s made over a year ago reminds us what we know, what we know that we know and what we’d bet our own precious lives that we know, but for the LIFE OF US, we don’t act like we know:

Yeah, maybe you can not only see why I like but why I am showing this special spoken-word poet Andrea Gibson, whose performances I have occasionally shared here on The Caring Catalyst, who succumbed to ovarian cancer. Such a terrible loss, and yet what a most powerful GAIN OF INSIGHT even now she continues to share.      .       .

Andrea’s powerful light continues to surprise, comfort, inspire through texts and videos. Such a tremendous legacy!

In this deeply personal clip, titled “Finding Me,” Andrea reflects on how facing our mortality—right here, right now—can shift our perspective in amazing ways. By welcoming the unthinkable, by “saying yes” to life as it is right now, we can learn to savor the fullness in every moment. Yes, even when life seems all too brief and unbearable.

Let’s not walk by this moment. Let’s not wait to bloom.

(My thanks to the poet and the filmmaker, via Freethink.)

And if you dare, though I like her Performances better than reading her poems, they still shout very loudly at me:

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HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THIS OUTFIT
GO FAST DON’T DIE?
Nope, neither did I until someone on LinkedIn inadvertently pointed me to its direction and then:

go fast dont die cafe racer

Go Fast Don’t Die is a brand that represents a lifestyle of risk, hustle and the pursuit of destroyed limits. It began as a one liner between friends and family on motorcycle runs and trips. Instead of saying “Be safe. Wear your helmet,” like your mom would say… our mom said “Go Fast, Don’t Die.” And so, we did. After the saying caught on, and GFDD tattoos started showing up amongst the crew, we decided we need the mantra on a T-Shirt. Go Fast Don’t Die is for the crowd that pulls a little more from that throttle after the assessment of risk says to back it off. It’s for those who look at the map and see more than where they are but where they could be tomorrow. Go Fast Don’t Die is for those who see the danger, see the risk and see nothing in comparison to the potential of the reward. To those who hold dear that pursuit of the thrill, the best times with friends old and new and the complete lack of a safe alternative… you found the right brand.

Go Fast, Don’t Die.          .          .

So what, right? Is exactly what I thought until I saw that they posted this to enhance their brand.  Hopefully this will itch your brain a little bit that’ll make you scratch some of those gray cells a little bit deeper and make you a little bit better like they just did mine:

Tell me who you spend your time with and I’ll tell you who you are.”

— Unknown
 
In the late 1970s, Dr. Robert Nerem experimented with rabbits to establish a possible link between high fat diets and heart disease.

Not surprisingly,  the rabbits’ cholesterol, blood pressure, and heart rates shot up after a few months of consuming a buttload of fats. However, one test included some…unexpected results.

While checking blood vessels, the scientists found a dramatic 60% difference in fat deposits in one group of rabbits even though they all consumed the same food. This is the difference between needing a bypass surgery to survive and living a decently healthy life.

What happened?

After reviewing protocols, they found a young doctor who didn’t just feed her rabbit group. She talked to them, cuddled them, pet them, and treated them warmly. The other scientists simply gave each rabbit their food and left them alone.

They did the study again with new rabbits. Same results.

This began what became known as “The Rabbit Effect”.

And surprise… turns out the Rabbit Effect doesn’t just effect rabbits.

Loneliness can increase our risk of premature death by 26% and put us in the same boat as those who smoke a pack of cigarettes a day.

Our challenge for you this week…

Put the phone away, make some time, hang with a friend, consciously choose community and union over isolation – if not for you – for them. Keep it simple, don’t overcomplicate it.

Ready…

Go.

PS- You can always hang with us too.

-GFDD CREW

Think on that for a while as you motor on down the path you’re on.            .            .

VROOM.               .               .VROOM

Go Fast Don’t Die

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.   .   .Go Figure

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Umberto Eco, who owned 50,000 books, had this to say about home libraries:
“It is foolish to think that you have to read all the books you buy, as it is foolish to criticize those who buy more books than they will ever be able to read. It would be like saying that you should use all the cutlery or glasses or screwdrivers or drill bits you bought before buying new ones.

“There are things in life that we need to always have plenty of supplies, even if we will only use a small portion.

“If, for example, we consider books as medicine, we understand that it is good to have many at home rather than a few: when you want to feel better, then you go to the ‘medicine closet’ and choose a book. Not a random one, but the right book for that moment. That’s why you should always have a nutrition choice!
“Those who buy only one book, read only that one and then get rid of it. They simply apply the consumer mentality to books, that is, they consider them a consumer product, a good. Those who love books know that a book is anything but a commodity.”
No.      .      .I will never read every book that I have and the ones that come many times a week thanks to AMAZON
and before you judge me
I will offer you an
EXCUSE
(A REALLY GOOD REASON)
for why I suffer with this glorious malady

Original photo by Dean Drobot/ Shutterstock

It’s often said that “there’s probably a German word” for unusual situations that are difficult to express in English, but sometimes there’s actually a Japanese word instead. Tsundoku, for example, describes the act of buying books and never reading them. Many bibliophiles can surely relate. Doku can be used in Japanese as a verb that means “reading,” and tsun comes from tsumu, which means “to pile up.” According to University of London Japanese studies professor Andrew Gerstle, the word appears to have been coined in 1879 in a satirical reference to a teacher who didn’t read the many books he owned. Despite that, the term — which can also refer to the piles of books themselves — doesn’t carry a particularly negativity

It has plenty, with “serendipity” being perhaps the nicest. The word comes from Serendip, an ancient name for Sri Lanka, where — at least in one Persian fairy tale — people were said to make discoveries they weren’t looking for. The writer Horace Walpole coined the term in 1754.

For some, tsundoku might be anxiety- or even guilt-inducing — who hasn’t bought an imposing tome such as James Joyce’s Ulysses with every intention of reading it, only to pick up something lighter instead time after time? But it doesn’t have to be that way. There can be a joy to “practicing tsundoku,” since every unread book on your shelf can be thought of as a literary adventure in waiting. There’s no time like the present, but neither is there any harm in leaving Don Quixote for just the right moment.


A        N       D
that’s more than ok.       .       .
N          O          W
if you’ll excuse me
P     L     E     A      S       E

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Everyone who knows, even a little bit of me knows that I not only LOVE Christmas and actually advocate celebrating/observing the GOODNESS of  it not just a little each day, but also PRACTICE MERRY CHRISTMAS the 25th of every month, especially, DECEMBER 25th and of course, JULY 25th (or all of July) for CHRISTMAS IN JULY!

Well.    .   .WHAT ABOUT NEW YEAR’S DAY?  I mean, that’s a huge part of the CHRISTMAS SEASON to me as well.  And yes, not as boisterous but just a powerfully, I celebrate each day (EVERY DAY) as a New Year’s Day of sorts; complete with my own personal goals/wishes/hopes/aspirations.      .      .

In fact, every morning I wake up (and have been given another blessing/chance of a new day I start off with my version of  very old/ritualistic version of a Jewish Prayer which is translated from the Hebrew this way:

I HEREBY GIVE THANKS TO YOU, LIVING AND ETERNAL KING, FOR RESTORING MY SOUL TO ME GRACIOUSLY , GREAT IS YOUR TRUSTWORTHINESS

My version of this is even more simple and it’s my 1% of my ever-limited 100% of every day:

THANK YOU FOR THE SLEEP I JUST HAD AND FOR WAKING UP TO A NEW DAY

WHAT WILL BE YOUR 1% today…remember; your not changing the world or yourself but just 1%
NOW
TODAY
AT THIS MOMENT.          .          .

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Famous people never suffer like THE REST OF US, do they?

Here’s the Real of REAL:
IF YOU HAVE A PULSE, A HEARTBEAT, INHALE/EXHALE
you experience every emotion, some more fiercely than others.

E. V. E. R. Y. O. N. E.
in their own way
DEALS (self-medicates) in our own ways.        .        .

“If people saw Frank Sinatra in his dressing room prior to a performance, they would reconsider their belief that he was destined for the stage. When the stage lights were about to come up, I’ve seen lions in cages at the Beverly Hills Zoo that were more composed than Mr. S.

The room’s door was secured. Mr. S would pace back and forth while keeping his hands in his pockets. He would occasionally hold a tumbler of Jack Daniel’s, but other times he would just clench his hands till they were white. I would say to the employees, “”There, Mr. S is playing ‘Caged Lion.'”” The sole distinction was that this lion was more terrified of the cage being completely open and the absence of outside cheers.

One close friend of mine once told me quite plainly, “”Frank is not afraid of the audience booing.”” He fears silence from the crowd. Yes, booing is simple; you can sing louder or retort with a curse. But you can’t overcome that emptiness by remaining silent.

Therefore, until Mr. S took the stage, the bottle of Jack Daniel’s had little chance of surviving. However, Mr. S was standing there, looking dapper and grinning as though he had never experienced fear, when the lights turned on. The miracle was that. However, I was aware that a man was asking himself, “”Am I still Frank Sinatra today?”” behind that closed door.”” – George Jacobs

A     L     L

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I have subscribed to a SubStack sight called OLDSTER MAGAZINE for well over a year now, mostly because, well.    .    .I AM OLD(ER) and they give all kinds of great advice on aging/becoming older/adjusting and learning to live this ever changing DIFFERENT LIFESTYLE.  They interview a host of folks, both know/unknown; famous and just ordinary folks, usually by asking these following questions, yes of which I will now too answer on this my 70th Birthday:

HOW OLD ARE YOU:
I’m just now 70 on August 6

IS THERE ANOTHER AGE YOU ASSOCIATE WITH YOURSELF IN MIND?  IF SO, WHAT IS IT? AND WHY DO YOU THINK?
31.  I just had remarried that year a couple of months before turning 31.  I was in the best shape of my life, still running up to 10 miles a day and completing marathons; the excitement of the new beginning of one of the most life changing relationship in my life, combining with merging our kids/family together with all of our hopes/dreams/wishes literally at our wildest imaginations, in the actual making was at its height and it was an intoxicating feeling I’ve never recovered nor sought to change.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT BEING YOUR AGE?
FREEDOM; not so much from responsibilities but from some of the things I have imprisoned myself to like expectations, or how I am seen, liked; I feel more alive than I did when I was training and running marathons; I’m much more creative now and feel almost weightless doing more (love being a chaplain at hospice now for 31 yrs, serving a small congregation, preaching, teaching, visiting, and conducting nearly 25 funerals every month and about a dozen weddings every year.  My relationships are deeper with my family and my friends, and just when I don’t think I could ever love Erin more than I do, she does something that makes me not only fall in love her all over again, but dearly love her more deeply than my mind or heart dared imagined.  I LIVE AN ENCHANTED LIFE

WHAT’S DIFFICULT ABOUT BEING YOUR AGE:
The dreaded physical limitations, aches/pains (I think I pulled a muscle in my back turning over in my sleep and lets not talk about a stiff neck if the pillow’s not in the right position).  Running has long been gone and trying to find ‘that runner’s high’ well.   .  .it’s only a dream, literally, a dream I have that I actually wake up sometimes out of breath because I dream that I am running.  Aside from that, as a hospice chaplain and a funeral officiant I am painfully discovering how many folks I serve that am younger (sometimes significantly) than I am who will never get a chance or the ability to have another Birthday, holiday, anniversary and makes me wince as I ask myself very silently, ‘WHY ME?’  This sometimes is very emotionally painful; it actually aches but also inspires me to make the best of my aches/pains/limitations.

WHAT’S SURPRISING ABOUT BEING YOUR AGE, OR DIFFERENT FROM WHAT YOU EXPECTED, BASED ON WHAT YOU WERE TOLD?
Seriously, THAT I MADE IT?  I always thought, because I was inadvertently shown or told by my grandparents and parents that anybody over 60 and retired was OLD.  I don’t know what the ‘perfect age’ to die for me might be, but I have huge hopes knowing that there’s a physician who’s 103 from Case Western University and University Hospital who still goes to work every day.  HOPE, I tell you, HOPE!  I’d sign up for that right now; show me the dotted line, I have pen in hand and will sign right now!

WHAT HAS AGING GIVEN YOU?  TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU
Clarity.  I love who I am.  I love the life I live.  I love who I’m living my life with and the relationships I have.  I feel like I don’t have just a purpose or a meaning, a reason or some mystical destiny; I know that they are now plural, not singularly for me and I know that with such clarity I’ve never known or experienced before.  It’s my big, ‘Ahhhhh-HAH!  And as for what it’s taken away, well, it’s not the mental or the spiritual or emotional, social aspects of my life, just the physical.  Damn those down the basement steps or that not so steep hill going down that makes my knees bark like a junkyard dog in a meat market.   .   .    .

WHAT IS YOUR NUMBER ONE REGRET IN LIFE?  IF YOU COULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN, WHAT IS THE BIGGEST THING YOU’D DO DIFFERENTLY?
Wait.    .   .what?  Do I have to answer this question?  (OF COURSE, I DON’T HAVE TO, AND IT’S NOT EVEN BECAUSE OF MY FEAR OF PULLING BACK THE CURTAIN AND LETTING YOU SEE WHAT’S BEHIND IT)  The pain of REGRET is a deep, existential pain, that even with forgiveness, THEIR’S AND MINE, I’m not so sure can be taken away or maybe, full disclosure, that I want to be forgiven, even though I believe it should be freely given and more than amply applied ALL-WAYS.  For me it’s that I got married when I shouldn’t have right out of college and before seminary because I feared more of being alone for the first time in my life than making a bad decision.  CLARIFICATION: I do not blame my first wife for this, we had plenty of blame to share, but even though I didn’t fully realize what I was doing and to bring first two beautiful daughters into this world and that chaos, EVEN THOUGH ALL HAS TURNED OUT WELL, they are wonderful and my first wife has married someone who she is completely deserving and served so often for the father I was absent of being just because of geographical distance (WOW, am I forever grateful and appreciative of him and tell him so) yeah, that still haunts me.  Forgiveness has been exceedingly given and accepted and all relationships are well and beyond cordial, yet pain was caused/experienced and has made my heart always beat differently and most likely always will and would I do it differently.  .  .well, that would mean I would never have these two beautiful daughters and three of the six grandchildren I have–quite a price to pay, huh?  NO.  Frank Sinatra and I will keep singing, “Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention.    .    .”

IS THERE A PIECE OF ADVICE YOU WERE GIVEN THAT  YOU LIVE BY?  IF SO, WHAT WAS IT AND WHO OFFERED IT TO YOU?
I am a huge fan of Broadway musicals and without a doubt I think my favorite Les Misérables.  There are many great songs in that play that are so powerful to me like ON MY OWN and BRING HIM HOME, but I think my favorite is near the end of the play in one of the final scenes where Jean Val Jean is actually dying and the angels of Mercy, people that he’s known, who have gone before him in death and now come to greet him, to take him home.   There’s this beautiful line: “TO LOVE ANOTHER PERSON IS TO SEE THE FACE OF GOD”  I have always strived to live my life by that; To love another person, and that means ANYBODY, and yes EVERYBODY,  to love them, really love them, is actually to see the face of God; yeah even before you die.

WHAT ARE PLANS FOR YOUR BODY WHEN YOU ARE DONE USING IT?
It may shock a lot of people, but when I die, even though I conduct over 20+ funeral services a month, I do not want a funeral service. I don’t want a goodbye party or celebration of life or any long drawn out ‘remember when’s or even big bashes where we come together to eat, drink, kibitz and finish those beautiful sentences, ‘I REMEMBER THE TIME. . . ,’   ‘I’LL NEVER FORGET THE TIME. . . ,’ and, ‘WHAT ABOUT THE TIME. . . .’   It’s much more simple; Erin and I have agreed that we are going to be cremated and whoever goes first will be saved until the other one is cremated and then together with our beloved pets that have been cremated, we will have all of the ashes mixed together and scattered on a nice windy beach; to have the wind take us where it may interminglingly mixed together; always in the air to settle and to be scattered and blown about again again and again. I’m a big rom-com kind of guy that kind of  has a little Hallmark/Lifetime  feeling to it,  doesn’t it?  ROMANTIC  with a Ha-Ha.    .    .   .

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT TO HAPPEN TO YOUR SOUL OR SPIRIT AFTER YOU DIE?
I’ve always believed that when we die, we only begin living in another way; the Mystical Next.  After working in hospice all of these years, this feeling has only gotten stronger and in many ways, solidified.  I can only give you an opinion not a certainty, but it’s not so much of what I believe as what I have come to know and what so many others have affirmed for me in their dying.  There have been too many instances, too many people, sharing the same story while there are no connections between them;  they don’t know each other and it doesn’t matter if they are agnostic or atheist or Buddhist or Muslim or Christian. It doesn’t matter if they’re Jewish or any other form of religion or lack of; these folks have proven to me that there’s something that happens to us that’s beyond us  Call it what you will~~but don’t call it over!
Well.      .     .I hope that this helps you to realize that Birthdays are more than just another casual trip around the sun.  I hope that even your Birthday has yet to come this year or has just passed that these questions and even some of my answers will inspire you to take your own test, to answers the questions and yes, to share.    .   .ALWAYS SHARE YOUR BEST, TRUEST SELF, even the things behind the curtain…trust me, they are not that bad and ALL-WAYS, Forgivable, yeah, even by YOU!

And if you haven’t had enough reading yet, may I recommend a little guide by one of my all time authors:

L          I          V         I         N          G
W  E  L  L

AND KEEP CELEBRATING 

 

 

 

 

 

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Here’s the deal about Birthday’s,
there are candles to be lit
and wishes to be made.       .      .
B               U               T
you don’t have to wait for the celebration
of your actual birth date.          .          .
why waste another moment?
CELEBRATE NOW
and forget to stop…
The best wishes aren’t wished,
but lived
until they become more true
than any wish, wished
or dream, dreamt…
SEE.           .           .
It’s ALL worth celebrating
N O W
So, I’ll leave this with you as a simple wish of mine before the 
candles are fully extinguised
and the cake and ice-cream
passed around:

LET ME BE A STORY

Let me be a story you tell
because you have experienced it fully
with no exceptions
no if’s
no but’s
no until’s
no excepts
but with an openness you’ve never known before
but now can’t help but to share
because you have known it so well

Let me be a story you tell
sprinkled with moments of humor
loaded with once upon a time’s
and an unlimited amount of
“what about the time’s?”

Let me be a story you tell
not because you’ve heard it with your ears
but deeply have known it in your soul

Let me be a story you tell
in a timeless generation yet to be born
not because the story is so infamous
but it is so absolutely right

Let me be a story you tell
A tune you hum
A poem you read
A life you now live a little better
and more inspired and hopeful

And may you too be the story someone else tells
A story uniquely yours
One that doesn’t mirror the same
but reflects even more

A manifesto poem
One that is known before it’s told or pondered
One that is lived well
One that is shared
One that is once upon a time’d
One that is fire to your wick
                  a flicker to your flame
                  a light to your lane
One that Is~~always IS

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During the intense filming of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” in 1975, Jack Nicholson told director Miloš Forman one non-negotiable condition: he would not work on Sundays. Not for reshoots, not for tight deadlines, not even for critical scenes. It was his personal rule, a boundary he drew with complete clarity. Nicholson viewed Sundays as essential for emotional and mental recalibration. He once said, “I need one day where I don’t have to be anyone else but me.” Forman, though under pressure from a tight production timeline, honored the actor’s request without protest.

Nicholson’s decision came from more than superstition or habit. During interviews after the film’s release, he spoke about how deeply draining the role of Randle P. McMurphy had become. The character was unpredictable, layered with fury, humor, empathy, and rebellion, often within the same scene. Immersing himself in McMurphy’s psyche five or six days a week left Nicholson emotionally raw. Stepping away on Sundays was not indulgence. It was preservation.

Louise Fletcher, who played Nurse Ratched, said in an interview with “The Hollywood Reporter,” “Jack had this switch. He’d be joking between takes, and the minute we rolled, he’d go full McMurphy. But he needed space. Sundays gave him room to breathe.”

The Oregon State Hospital, where the film was shot, had its own share of haunting energy. Actual patients appeared in the background of several scenes. Nicholson, who lived on set for the bulk of filming, immersed himself in the environment so thoroughly that the line between actor and character blurred at times. Crew members reported seeing him pacing the hospital courtyard late into the night, rehearsing lines or simply sitting alone under dim lights.

Forman’s willingness to respect Nicholson’s request became a cornerstone of their collaboration. He believed Nicholson’s process required total commitment, but not without boundaries. In an archived interview with “Variety,” Forman recalled, “He gave me everything when the cameras rolled. He made the character live in ways I never imagined. If a single day each week helped that happen, I was all in.”

Sunday breaks were not passive days for Nicholson. He used them to reset emotionally. He would go off alone, take long walks through Salem, visit bookstores, or just sit in his trailer and sketch. Michael Douglas, who served as a producer on the film, later noted, “Jack protected that day like it was sacred. No one questioned it. In hindsight, it probably saved the performance from burning out.”

There was one occasion when a major scene was delayed due to poor lighting on a Saturday evening. The crew suggested they finish it the next day to stay on track. Nicholson listened quietly and responded, “If it has to happen Sunday, it’ll have to happen without me.” They waited until Monday.

What made this boundary so effective was not just that Nicholson demanded it. It was the consistency and purpose behind it. He did not leave town. He did not attend parties. He disconnected, recharged, and returned each Monday fully immersed and sharp. The energy he brought to scenes like McMurphy’s confrontation with Nurse Ratched or the therapy group outbursts was a direct result of that unshakable rhythm.

Even decades later, when speaking about the role, Nicholson often credited his performance not only to the script or direction but to the freedom to remain grounded in himself. He believed burnout dulled creativity, and routine restored brilliance.

In a 1997 conversation with Charlie Rose, Nicholson said, “The most dangerous thing for an actor is forgetting who he is while trying to be someone else. One day a week, I didn’t act. That saved me.”

His refusal was not about ego. It was about balance. And in creating that space, Jack Nicholson protected both the character of McMurphy and the man beneath him.

One day off each week helped Jack Nicholson hold on to his identity while giving everything to one of cinema’s most unforgettable roles.   .   .

TAKE TIME
they say
TAKE TIME
where
to someplace where it’ll be safely kept
and dished out in the doses 
when needed most
or is it
while we are 
TAKING TIME
IT is actually capturing us
and bringing us to places
unknown 
never to release us 
except in small bits of 
ONCE UPON A TIME’S
we can vaguely remember
maybe again experience
but never own again. . .

: Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
WE ARE MORE THAN IDLE PAGES ON A CALENDAR
AND MUCH MORE THAN WHAT’S CONTAINED 
ON A SINGLE BLOCKED DAY

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I have often been accused of NOT living in the MOMENT

I give lots of examples and proof by posting on the 25th of every month, MERRY PRACTICE CHRISTMAS.        .       .

But this wishing of a MERRY PRACTICE CHRISTMAS  has nothing to do with skipping over every other holiday just to get to Christmas so much as I have countless times defended it has to do with KEEPING THE SPIRIT AND ALL THAT IS GOOD OF THAT DAY/SEASON EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR and not just for some solitary 24 hours.        .       .

S         T          I           L          L.                .               .

In just a moment, nature tells us so much about what we think we know, and what we really can experience, like a season within a season.

Have you ever felt like that in the deepest part of winter you felt a warm than only summer can deliver or the deepest part of summer you felt it chill that no winter wind could ever blow across you?

We all live within seasons that have seasons, and we usually experience them in just a moment, sometimes quite literally.       .        .
Pay attention.          .          . we are living seasons within seasons always, no matter what the weather tells us, no matter what we feel, because inside is always changing.          .          .

I’m reminded of those famous Mary Oliver lines that read like both poem and proverb:

Instructions for living a life:

Pay attention.

Be astonished.

Tell about it.

So.            .              .
WHEN THE OBVIOUS IS IN FRONT OF YOU.             .            .
IN JUST A MOMENT.           .           .
PAY ATTENTION!

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WELL.            .           .
Is THIS what you needed this morning.          .           .
Is THIS what someone you know might need.          .         .
IS IT TRUE?

Sometimes it nots what we can do….that’s simple
                     it’s what we are will to do.          .          .

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man