YOUR OBITUARY

He was just 69, was stamped “Return to Sender” Tuesday, October 2, 2018.  .  .     

and so his

O  B  I T  U  A  R  Y

began.           .          .

How would you begin yours?

How would you let it unfold

and exactly who would you want to read it?

Here’s how his continued:

He was born May 10, 1949, in Ellwood City and he attended Seneca Valley High School and graduated from Slippery Rock University. At age six, as his father realized his potential, his dad promptly had himself neutered.

(YES.     .     .this is a real, TRUE  OBITUARY)

He most prided himself on the fact that upon his high school graduation, six of his teachers required psychiatric treatment for chronic depression and suicidal thoughts. During his collegiate tenure, he was a three-year starter on the basketball team, establishing scoring records and national free-throw percentages.

Once he left college, he briefly, very briefly, earned a living as a male stripper. Facing impending bankruptcy, he taught and coached a variety of sports.  Eventually, he became a supervisor for 26 years with Consolidated Coal. During his coal mining tenure, his most noteworthy accomplishment was amassing 18 pairs of channel locks and 127 rolls of P-tape.

Following an early retirement, he formed a construction company and returned to college, receiving a pastoral certification. The next phase of his life found him ministering at a Presbyterian Church for 17 years. He was passionate about short-term mission trips, which specialized in rebuilding flood and wind-damaged homes, participating in over 30 trips and visiting 12 states in the process.

He had a plethora of interests, including occasionally dressing up as a woman, playing corn hole with kittens and eating. His favorite entrée was cherry pie. Free cherry pie to be exact. He was able to substitute his pastoral salary by frequently visiting a local Art Institute, where he posed for aspiring student-sculptors whose interest was creating images of Buddha. He loved to tell stories and freely admitted that a portion of what he said was true, but never disclosed which portion.

To the astonishment of many, 1997, he wed the love of his life.   Quite often, he was quizzed as to how he was able to corral such a young beauty, and he admitted lying to her, claiming he was filthy rich. They were blessed with the birth of two children. Surviving, in addition to his wife and two children, are a brother and a sister.

Above all, his greatest love was that of his Lord Jesus Christ. And his most sincere wish was that everyone would come to know and love God as he did. In lieu of flowers, the family asks, for those who are willing, to attend a church of their choice, and secondly, to break wind in a public setting.

Visitation will be held from noon to 2 p.m., the time of service.   Any person attending who cries will kindly be asked to vacate the premises.

SO  WHAT   WRITE   YOU  ?

This was a real obituary, with only the name of the deceased and his family kept private, though the obituary was very open and even more public.

So.          .          .

What would you write

What would you share

What would you want to most be remembered

Would you go serious

Would you go just factual

Would you go religious

Would you be solemn

Would you be sarcastic and mocking

Would you go for the LAST  WORD

What would you write.          .          .

Well.          .          .

DO   IT

Let’s see it

Share it

or at least put it on paper

Since 1980

I’ve invited individuals and groups to enter into the exercise

to not just reach out and

T                 O                 U                 C                 H

their mortality

but to actually

e      x      p      e      r      i      e      n      c      e             i       t

to walk with it

to make friends with it.          .          .

It’s not an easy exercise

a real fun thing to participate

but it’s very revealing and even freeing

to look

YOUR OWN DEATH

in the eye

and not to blink

but actually stare it down

and when it’s all whittled down

person after person’

group after group

come  to this conclusion:

It’s not technology

It’s not science

It’s not medical advances

it’s not pharmaceuticals

It’s not intellectual advancements

so much as

r        e       l       a        t        i        o       n        s        h        i        p        s

that not only cure

that not only bind us

but     actually    heals    us

Some people never really have the courage to say

H  E  L  L  O

until there’s a final

GOOD B Y E

What would it say in

Y  O  U  R        D  E  A  T  H        N  O  T  I  C  E

What would be there in

T  H  E         D  A  S  H

Between a Birthday and a Death day

What    would    tumble    your    tombstone

WHAT   WOULD   MAKE   THE   ULTIMATE   DIFFERENCE

and more.          .          .

leave   the   ultimate

T      I      M      E           S      T      A      M      P

well.          .          .?

what write you?