The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

In Line

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Monday mornings are like that–BUSY–Especially In Line at Starbucks.

They came in right after me. Chase was looked like he was 3 or 4 and Estella looked like she was 6. She was quiet but Chase made Expresso nervous.

It looked like mom just wanted to get in and out of there. I ordered my drink and I was paying for it I saw her trying to shuffle through her purse and then her wallet and I added, “And whatever they want.”

Mom was a little stunned.

I said, “No, really. Is it ok if I buy the kids a couple of cake pops and your drink?”

She wasn’t a good Receiver. She tried to jam some money into my side pocket and I said, “Hey, let me be a little selfish. It’s really good doing nice things….”

She thanked me and then Chase piped up, “Hey, what’s your name?”

“Chuck. What’s yours?”

“Chase. You know, I have a truck named, Chuck,” he added.

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An Honor–Not a Job or a Day

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Father’s Day was yesterday….

I’m not much for observing any day whenever it actually is. To me, right now, at this moment as you are reading this post, it’s just as much Father’s Day as any one that appears the third Sunday of any June.

Every year for the for the past 34 I’ve gotten my kids PRESENTS for Father’s Day. The logic to me, and I’ve taught them: I’M NOT A DAD WITHOUT YOU…THANKS FOR BEING MY GIFTS.

Yesterday was no exception, they all got Gifts of Appreciation from me.

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UNDER heard

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The Conversation was way underway before I got there that morning.

I had already come in late to what THEY were discussing; I had already UNDERheard, maybe too much to piece everything together, but it had something to do with what was her favorite item on the menu.

They continued to smile, I presume back and forth. I could only see her as she brought his breakfast and more coffee. The back of his head nodded often and that seemed to be pretty much IT. . .

Until….

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Bless the Beasts and. . . .

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Bless the Beasts and the Children…great song, an even better idea and an absolutely fantastic feeling.

It’s a simple question that has usually gotten me into a lot of trouble and sometimes much hurt:

CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET A LONG?

Seriously, it’s a question I ask with an immense amount of Compassion and apparently a lot more naivety.

I never could never understand as a child and now a past-middle-aged adult why we could just not get a long, why there were wars, fights, arguments? I guess I still can’t.

I have learned it many times as a Church Pastor, a Hospice Chaplain, a Team-Leader, a Speaker, an Author, a Husband, a Father, a Grandfather, a Friend, a Neighbor, a Person.

Listen, I’m not ripping the Pope. I have only heard what he said about Pets…but I still ask the same question as a dad and a pet owner of cats and dogs, and one time of lizards, geckos, a feeder rat, fish, hamsters, hermit crabs and yeah, even spiders.

I know, as studies have said, they’ve all made my blood pressure go lower and I believe, absolutely, higher at times.

I know I’ve told my dogs and cats things I’ve never told another human being.

I know I’ve cried when I have dug their graves in my back yard and laid them to rest.

I know. . . .

. . .and so do you!

So instead of some scathing attack of HOW DARE YOU’s or I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT’s or something(S) much worse and stronger…I’m going to emulate Molly, the dog I have laying beside me right now as I type this: I’m going to be loving, accepting, forgiving, cuddling, appreciative,

U N C O N D I T I O N A L L Y

I conducted a memorial service of a young hospice patient recently. She was a brilliant, caring, loving daughter, friend, lawyer, dog-owner. Shortly after she died, her dog died as well. Her vet said it was a broken heart. When the patient’s grieving mother asked me, hesitantly, embarrassingly, if I could hold a service for both of them this past weekend, I never paused when I said assuredly, “Absolutely.” Their ashes were mixed together in the urn, NEVER TO BE SEPARATED AGAIN….

I think when I grow up I want to be a little kid and/or his dog.

I want to believe, to accept, to love, to trust to love UNCONDITIONALLY just like THEM.

I want the Beast and the child in me to be Blessed…and I want to bless accordingly.

Uhhh, yeah. . .I have the naivety, the audacity, the compassion to think that could actually change the world…one pet, one child, one person at a time.

Join me!

Me-Oh, My-Oh, MAYA

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It’s amazing isn’t, it?

We are all going to live Forever…until we aren’t!

S L O W E R

We

Are

All

Going

To

Live

Forever. . .

Until

We

Aren’t!

Until “WE AREN’T,” came to Maya Angelou on Wednesday, May 28, 2014.

Was she surprised?

Would you be?

No seriously, right now, if your “WE AREN’T” moment came right now in mid-sentence, would you be surprised? Is it just the When, the How, the Where and not the THAT of Death which surprises you, too?

And yet…

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The Calling

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“THEY SAY. . . ,” you will not have just a job or more, just a career, but most likely FIVE of them during your life time.

Gone are the days of working for a corporation/factory/school district/job for forty years to leave with a nice pension, 401K and the proverbial gold engraved Watch.

It’s this time of the year with Graduation Ceremonies abounding that we hear of 70, 80, 91 year old’s actually graduating. Their Retirement, better still, their Calling has changed. It doesn’t matter WHO they were before…it matters WHO THEY ARE NOW!

Us too.

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Saving the Spider, Saving Myself

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He surprised me at 6:30 in the morning, climbing out of the bowl of my bathroom sink.

He was having a hard time trying to escape so I thought I would help. I snapped into my Albert Schweitzer role and attempted to help him out by extending a piece of paper, a hand towel and finally a rolled up newspaper…the latter had him scurrying back down the dark, black drain.

It was obvious…no brushing of the teeth or turning on the water.

I jumped into the shower and scrubbed my teeth, shaved and showered all into one, hoping that the itsy, bitsy spider would climb out of the drain and the sink.

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Toughest Job

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB3xM93rXbY

Is it the worst job ever?

To be sure, it’s ONE job, few would ever apply, accept, or keep…and yet, there are well over a billion that holds the actual gut-wretching-never-ending position.

And to that there are only Two Words, never said enough days before, Day of, or days after. . .

T H A N K Y O U.

Go hug a mom…and if you can’t. . .

HUG A CHILD OF ONE–hard and just a little longer than usual!

…happy mother’s day–Every Day!

We Are Each of These

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It’s the absolute Truest thing about any One person that any One person doesn’t actually believe.

. . .That we are MORE!

When someone asks us what we do, we usually have A answer for them, and seldom does it include more than just ONE thing.

Oh, we’ll shout it all day long and half of the night, that, “WE ARE THE SUM PARTS OF ALL OUR LIFE EXPERIENCES…”

“Do-Dah, Do-Dah,” right? We’ve sung the song, most of the verses, many times over haven’t we, and yet we still at our very core don’t actually believe that we are P L U R A L and not Singular?

Few of us would argue, debate or disagree with George Washington Carver when he tells us:

“HOW FAR YOU GO DEPENDS OF BEING TENDER TO THE YOUNG
COMPASSIONATE TO THE ELDERLY
SYMPATHETIC TO THE STRIVING
TOLERANT TO THE STRONG AND THE WEAK. . .
BECAUSE ONE DAY. . .ONE DAY. . .YOU WILL HAVE BEEN EACH OF THESE!”

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The Compassionate Competitor’s Chord

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Well, does it?

Does Competition bring out the best in you?

Does it make your Compassionate Chord ring out its best?

Just how Competitive are you?

I can’t play golf or bowl. It’s not that I don’t know how or that I haven’t, it’s just that I WILL NOT golf or bowl, because it brings out all Beast and nil to nary Beauty.

I mean that in all of its viciousness.

My best time EVER for running a marathon was the Marine Corps Marathon in Washington, D.C. 1983 on a cool 45 degree rainy day. I ran it in 2:50.26 seconds.

I finished 286 out of 9987 runners that day. I didn’t even get to the starting line because of that vast crowd almost until six minutes AFTER the race began. I should be proud. Honored. Bragging about it….

The qualifying time to go to the Boston Marathon that year was 2 hours and fifty minutes. I missed it by 26 seconds. That averages out to 6 minute 29 second mile for 26.2 miles and I still needed to be a second faster per mile. I MISSED IT!

I swear. I never felt winded that day. My legs never hurt. I never hit The Wall. But I failed.

I NEEDED TO BE JUST ONE SECOND PER MILE FASTER…and I wasn’t.

Yes, I could have contested the race saying I wasn’t able to even reach the start line for 6 minutes…but in my heart, even if granted the allowance, I WOULD KNOW I WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH…and there’s been the dance of competition I’ve haggled with all of my life.

I compete with my self more fiercely than any one else. I don’t need a foe…I AM FOE to myself. I am constantly challenging myself to do more, be better, faster, more efficient, More, MOre, MORe, MORE,
M O R E!

And I never, ever settle. Never give in. Always looking for the next battle, challenge, competition, game.

What competitor’s song bounces within you? Does it’s notes haunt or taunt you? Are your striving to be better…even more than yesterday?

I have found that as destructive and sometimes as devastatingly disappointing this could be, it has taken me to new, higher levels when it comes to my Compassionate Ways.

Can I be more giving? Can I Care more? Can I listen more empathically? Can I be more accepting? Forgiving? Nurturing? Sharing? Loving?

When I compete with myself, DAILY, on these feats of the heart…can others gain, be better? Can I?

It’s then that these vicious musicians, duel madly within me, trying to OUT SOUND and gain Center Stage…but if the notes all work together for the good…this magnificent Symphony beautifully unfolds in a most magnificent way.

…hands get clapped, toes get tapped, faces wear smiles and the Music of the Soul bursts forth and OHHHH, how that pleases the Maestro…but NEVER ENOUGH! There’s more symphonies to be created and perfomred!

And on THAT NOTE…it’s time to begin again.

Buckle up!

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man