Who Cares - What Matters
Father’s Day was yesterday….
I’m not much for observing any day whenever it actually is. To me, right now, at this moment as you are reading this post, it’s just as much Father’s Day as any one that appears the third Sunday of any June.
Every year for the for the past 34 I’ve gotten my kids PRESENTS for Father’s Day. The logic to me, and I’ve taught them: I’M NOT A DAD WITHOUT YOU…THANKS FOR BEING MY GIFTS.
Yesterday was no exception, they all got Gifts of Appreciation from me.
The Conversation was way underway before I got there that morning.
I had already come in late to what THEY were discussing; I had already UNDERheard, maybe too much to piece everything together, but it had something to do with what was her favorite item on the menu.
They continued to smile, I presume back and forth. I could only see her as she brought his breakfast and more coffee. The back of his head nodded often and that seemed to be pretty much IT. . .
Until….
Movies.
The very first movie ever made was in 1878, THE HORSE IN MOTION.
I know nothing of it, and most likely, you don’t either. You probably haven’t heard of the first movie ever shot in the USA, MONKEYSHINES NO. 1 (1889 or 1890).
You might not know of the movie that just came out last weekend or hundreds sitting in your local REDBOX or the thousands that can be downloaded via NETFLIX.
The only movie you might KNOW and know intimately is the one of your very own life. The one that plays every day in your heart, projected on the screen of your Soul and needs seeing than more of just your eyes.
So, which Movie, or parts of a Movie, bests describes THAT Movie of YOU?
Is it something from, IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE? PATCH ADAMS? ROCKY? DANCES WITH WOLVES? STAR WARS? MARTY? THE ARTIST? KING OF KINGS? SIMON BIRCH? THE MIGHTY? PATCHY ADAMS? MRS. DOUBTFIRE? THE TEN COMMANDMENTS? HOPE FLOATS? WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING? THE OTHER SISTER? KILL BILL? BIG DADDY? TOY STORY?
I’m Sorry.
I was wrong.
Forgive me.
Give me another Chance.
Is there anything I can do to make it better?
I love you.
Not bad words at anytime, are they?
They may be classic LAST WORDS…but that’s the problem, isn’t it?
We really don’t know the actual Last Words you we might speak to Someone else.
WOULD IT REALLY CHANGE ANYTHING IF WE DID–If we actually knew that our words, any one we may even be thinking right now, might be the last ones we either spoke, or that another might hear?
Of course we say, “A B S O L U T E L Y,” but Hypothesizing or even Knowing, is not really
DOING, is it?
But…but does that mean we shouldn’t try?
I complimented a hostess at McDonald’s yesterday. I told her that she has a real gift in dealing with people and how much I appreciated her not just taking care of me, but being most excellent at what she does. I went on to tell her that her cheery outlook made my morning brighter and because of her enthusiasm I was absolutely going to make sure that I would do the same with the people I was going to meet today.
She smiled and thanked me for being so nice. And then proved it by giving me three coupons, one for what I had just ordered and two more for future orders!
No big deal, huh? But, but, what if it were the last thing she ever did? Wonder if it was the literal last thing that someone ever did for me?
What if the last word you spoke before reading this was YOUR LAST? Satisfied? Room for improvement?
I’m sorry.
I was wrong.
Forgive me.
Give me another chance.
Is there anything I can do to make it better?
I love you.
Bless the Beasts and the Children…great song, an even better idea and an absolutely fantastic feeling.
It’s a simple question that has usually gotten me into a lot of trouble and sometimes much hurt:
CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET A LONG?
Seriously, it’s a question I ask with an immense amount of Compassion and apparently a lot more naivety.
I never could never understand as a child and now a past-middle-aged adult why we could just not get a long, why there were wars, fights, arguments? I guess I still can’t.
I have learned it many times as a Church Pastor, a Hospice Chaplain, a Team-Leader, a Speaker, an Author, a Husband, a Father, a Grandfather, a Friend, a Neighbor, a Person.
Listen, I’m not ripping the Pope. I have only heard what he said about Pets…but I still ask the same question as a dad and a pet owner of cats and dogs, and one time of lizards, geckos, a feeder rat, fish, hamsters, hermit crabs and yeah, even spiders.
I know, as studies have said, they’ve all made my blood pressure go lower and I believe, absolutely, higher at times.
I know I’ve told my dogs and cats things I’ve never told another human being.
I know I’ve cried when I have dug their graves in my back yard and laid them to rest.
I know. . . .
. . .and so do you!
So instead of some scathing attack of HOW DARE YOU’s or I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT’s or something(S) much worse and stronger…I’m going to emulate Molly, the dog I have laying beside me right now as I type this: I’m going to be loving, accepting, forgiving, cuddling, appreciative,
U N C O N D I T I O N A L L Y
I conducted a memorial service of a young hospice patient recently. She was a brilliant, caring, loving daughter, friend, lawyer, dog-owner. Shortly after she died, her dog died as well. Her vet said it was a broken heart. When the patient’s grieving mother asked me, hesitantly, embarrassingly, if I could hold a service for both of them this past weekend, I never paused when I said assuredly, “Absolutely.” Their ashes were mixed together in the urn, NEVER TO BE SEPARATED AGAIN….
I think when I grow up I want to be a little kid and/or his dog.
I want to believe, to accept, to love, to trust to love UNCONDITIONALLY just like THEM.
I want the Beast and the child in me to be Blessed…and I want to bless accordingly.
Uhhh, yeah. . .I have the naivety, the audacity, the compassion to think that could actually change the world…one pet, one child, one person at a time.
Join me!
Twenty-years ago.
A blink of the eye, huh?
Well, then again, the eye doesn’t blink quite the same way as it did some twenty-years ago. . . .
The eye rarely meets another eye, at least for any real significant moments or for any length of time.
It’s ALL Changed, hasn’t it?
Don’t believe me?
WHAT ARE YOU READING RIGHT NOW AT THIS VERY MOMENT?
ON WHAT DEVICE ARE YOU ACTUALLY READING?
Hmmmmm…Living Proof, huh?
Just like the video, of which you might not have even watched the entire clip, makes a powerful point:
WE ARE JUST TOO FOCUSED ON WHAT NEEDS NOT OUR ENTIRE FOCUS–Almost every waking moment.
Can you do it?
Can you go a morning? An afternoon? Can you go out and sit through an entire meal, desert, a whole cup of coffee without texting or emailing or checking Face Book, Tweeting?
Again, what are you doing right now at this very moment–R E A D I N G–from what, where, how?
Here’s the deal…this is an emptied can of Shaving Cream that’s never going to be put back into the can from which it’s been drained.
So? Is that it? Are we just to deal with it? What can change, alter, make the best of it?
C O M P A S S I O N
Compassionate listening. Compassionate presence makes you LOOK UP more quickly, more sincerely, most assuredly than your next Text.
C O M P A S S I O N
It’s the Universal, most full proof, least evasive, most effective, non-pharmaicutical, non-addictive, all inclusive way of COMMUNICATING still known…just not always or in ALL WAYS practiced and even more sadly EXPERIENCED; that’s the Bad News.
GOOD NEWS?
YOU. . .you have the power to Change THAT!
How?
LOOK UP!
Pssssst: Don’t be surprised if you meet the eyes of SOMEONE who’s done the exact same thing as you have at the exact same time.
REPEAT OFTEN!
It’s amazing isn’t, it?
We are all going to live Forever…until we aren’t!
S L O W E R
We
Are
All
Going
To
Live
Forever. . .
Until
We
Aren’t!
Until “WE AREN’T,” came to Maya Angelou on Wednesday, May 28, 2014.
Was she surprised?
Would you be?
No seriously, right now, if your “WE AREN’T” moment came right now in mid-sentence, would you be surprised? Is it just the When, the How, the Where and not the THAT of Death which surprises you, too?
And yet…
Happy Memorial Day.
How can you assure it?
One simple word: RE-MEMBERING–literally, by putting together the Pieces of your Life that have meaning and significance to you the Ones who make those Memories worth RE-Membering–Putting back together.
The World will debate and argue, but the greatest forces in and out of this World are our Memories and the Love that makes those memories significant.
It’s easy to JUST Limit these Memories to our Veterans or for those who have recently passed, but any day we truly RE-Member, that we actually put together those snipets of ‘Once-Upon-A-Time,’ and ‘Remember When’s’ that put all those glorious colors to the Tapestry of our Lives, becomes a true Memorial Day.
Like any Holiday, it really is celebrated most, not so much on it’s Noted, Dated Day, but when fully Recognized, Realized, Revitalized again and again and again with, yes, that one single, beautiful thing called Memory.
So, on this Memorial Day, RE-MEMBER: It’s not enough for us to just merely Remember, but for us to just simply Re-Member one thought, one memory past Eternity.
Five Words:
Happy Memorial Day. . .Thank You. . . .
“THEY SAY. . . ,” you will not have just a job or more, just a career, but most likely FIVE of them during your life time.
Gone are the days of working for a corporation/factory/school district/job for forty years to leave with a nice pension, 401K and the proverbial gold engraved Watch.
It’s this time of the year with Graduation Ceremonies abounding that we hear of 70, 80, 91 year old’s actually graduating. Their Retirement, better still, their Calling has changed. It doesn’t matter WHO they were before…it matters WHO THEY ARE NOW!
Us too.
It is absolutely Flawless.
The Experiment never fails–Ever.
Dare to not only change your life, but your work, your leisure, your lifestyle, your relationships, your all encompassing E V E R Y T H I N G!
But, don’t let me tell you about The Experiment. Let me Show you…better still, YOU TRY IT!
Here’s how it works:
EVERYTHING YOU DO, DO AS AN EXPERIMENT!
Really, IT is THAT simple. There’s no special formula’s; no 1-2-3 steps to take, no special maps to follow, no A-B-C special procedural directions, no embarrassment, no, “I-told-you-so’s,” no hassle and no worry. . .Really!
This will work just as brilliantly at work as it will personally or at home.
Pick a problem to be solved. Go ahead, if you want, do what you use to do. Pro and Con it, list all the reasons For and Against, think In and Out and Around the Box; do what you do to come up with a most likely, probable, consensus decision and then apply it this way: AS AN EXPERIMENT.
By the very nature of any Experiment, it naturally calls for Trial and Error. It Expects to Fail as a means to Succeeding. Ask Mr. Edison how many successful ways he determined NOT to Invent a Light Bulb!
When you Experiment things, there’s no pressure, no winning or losing–just a faster track to Success or WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU OR THE SITUATION!
Under this guise, you can Experiment with an Exercise Program, a new Diet, a Short cut to work or another destination, a way to resolve a conflict at work, in a relationship, or between business partners or neighbors.
It’s NEVER FAILED.
Don’t believe me, though. Try it yourself. Mix a little of THIS will a little of THAT, shake gently and pour a drop at a time or as quickly as you dare in full measure…it won’t matter because IT IS AN EXPERIMENT.
The best part?
If IT doesn’t work, you can triumphantly shout, “N E X T”
and begin yet another Experiment again and again and again. . . .
One of my favorite Experiments is to have an Experiment inside of an Experiment–Try IT–There’s nothing more FREEING and NON-THREATENING and best of all:
E F F E C T I V E.